Oh dear. Andre Nel has been told to pull his socks up by the high heid yins in the Surrey ranks and will miss a further two games, along with an obligatory token financial deduction. It’s a tricky one, this, as Surrey have to be seen to be doing something about discouraging misconduct amongst the players (especially seeing Nel has already been in hot water this season), yet his absence may actually end up hurting the team. It’s a no-win situation. I suppose this was done to fend off any more serious action from the ECB, but even so it leaves a rather bitter taste in the mouth. Punishing someone when they have arguably played their best game for the team leaves me feeling a little uncomfortable. Just as well it’s not me making the decisions! I’d be a right push-over!
If it’s any consolation to Andre, and I’m sure it’s not, we still love him. Heck, he could pull the arms and legs off old ladies or steal crisps from primary school kids and we’d still love him. That’s why it hurts to have to find a rather unfortunate anagram for him (she said, running for cover)!
Talking of which, here is the next batch of victims!
DANIEL HOUSEGO: One Loud Geisha
CHRIS RUSSELL: Shrill Curses
ASHLEY GILES: Shy Gal Elsie
CHRIS GAYLE: Grisly Ache
DEREK PRINGLE: Pink Ledger
ANDRE NEL: Lean Nerd
GARETH REES: Three Gears
IAIN SUTCLIFFE: Fun Facilities
JAMES ANDERSON: Jean’s Mad Snore
LAURIE EVANS: Leaves A Ruin
MARCUS TRESCOTHICK: Sours Cricket Match
NEIL CARTER: Errant Lice
PAUL DIXEY: A Pixy Duel
RUBEL HOSSAIN: Abolishes Run
SEAN ERVINE: Inane Verse
STUART MEAKER: Astute Remark
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