Sunday 12 December 2010

Strictly: Week Eleven - Saturday

On with day two, and an unexpected bonus in the shape of a certain Mr Ramprakash in the audience. Rampants everywhere were extremely happy for all of three seconds, although my main concern was that, given the recent history of standing up to applaud if Bruno so much as sneezes, his dodgy knee may not take it! I spent most of the evening angrily shouting at the screen for the audience to sit down, much to my dad’s bemusement!

And now to the dance that I mentioned in the first paragraph of my previous report: the one whose style my dad couldn’t place. Scott and Natalie’s Charleston was novel, dressed as he was like Popeye the sailor man in a white outfit that looked as if it had come straight from ‘South Pacific’. It was a good attempt to break away from the traditional Charleston mould, but in losing the 1920s Speakeasy feel some of the character of the dance was lost, and to be honest I thought most of the judges would like it less than they did. Additionally, there were sections where Scott just seemed to stand there and let Natalie do all the work. I think these two have run out of steam, just about. It’s a real shame because they were so good at the start of the show, but I guess Scott’s acting schedules have caught up with him and it’s left him looking alarmingly drained and fatigued. Overall it didn’t impress me, but nor did it offend me either. A solid 8 would be my score for Scott.

Oh, here we go again. Footgate, round two! This time the Kara fans are mumping because it didn’t get four tens, when yet again Kara’s foot came off the floor, and yet again Craig decided it fell a gnat’s crotchet short of perfection. Did the others spot it? If they didn’t then you could forgive them but wonder why they didn’t when Craig did. And if they did and they overlooked it, you have to start questioning their collective wisdom (such as it is).

The fact is that Kara and Artem produced a stunning rumba, a dance that usually reminds me of watching Dr Who behind the sofa as a child because it can be that scary. It wasn’t quite as good as Rachel and Vincent’s rumba, in my opinion, but there was a lot of quality, beautiful shaping and fantastic line yet again. Kara does almost look professional, and she is extremely good to watch whatever she does. She really suited the outfit as well, although the hair was a tad weird! Ah, if only that foot hadn’t come off the floor again! And considering how much Kara hated doing the rumba, it’s to her credit that she completed it with such panache. It’s an almost 10 from me, and that’s saying something considering I usually find rubbing my forehead with sandpaper preferable to watching a rumba...

I was a bit dismissive of Matt’s tango last night so I went back and had another look at it, because the general consensus was that it improved on repeat viewing. And indeed it does. It was a very strong, masculine turn from Matt, as if to back up my previous assertion that when he ‘gets’ a character or a technical dance he knows how to tackle it. There was the necessary aggression, power and passion and even the choreography seemed much better second time round than I had initially remembered. I’d thought him over marked at first, but I think in fairness the judges awarded him the scores he deserved for the dance. Credit to him for coming back and dancing so well given the verbal mauling of the night before, which must have still been ringing in his ears. I still don’t think he always sells a dance as well as he could performance-wise, but this was better than I had given him credit for. A 9 or and 8.5 for me. I must have been bored last night.

Ah, here’s the reason for the boredom. Now, with my minimal knowledge of ballroom dancing – and it is minimal, so bear with me – I thought that going ‘up and down’ in a Viennese Waltz was considered a bad thing? Was I the only one who thought that the first section of Gavin’s routine had more rise and fall than the Roman Empire? Or did I imagine that? I’m not re-watching it to find out: I felt mind- numbed enough by it the first time round. There was a small timing issue with one section (or if you are Craig, a large issue) which caused Katya to bristle in defence of her partner. Oh dear, Katya. Rule number one: never argue back against the pantomime villain judges. The viewers don’t like it and it will cost you votes. Still, Gavin is much more watchable in ballroom than Latin. And tomorrow I hope to be watching him Viennese Waltz off into the sunset, because he’s stayed a few weeks too many in my opinion.

I watched Pamela’s dance back too and I have to say that I’m split on this. It was probably a tad heavy, and this being the case it probably wasn’t worth a 10. Mind you, I thought the same thing when I saw it initially. There was a lot to like about it: I’m not one for aimless faffing about but at least I thought the faffing with the canes and hats was in context of the performance, so I’m just tempted to let James away with it. And the actual performance, as ever, was fantastic. In terms of performance she’s the best of the five left. In terms of dancing I’d maybe only put her third or fourth, depending on if Scott’s having a good day or not. But she must be charming the judges with what she’s done because out came the four 10s again! And for that matter, out came the conspiracy theorists as well, arguing that the judges wanted to make sure their precious Pamela was safe. Well, there is a precedent I suppose. Emma Bunton, anyone?

I didn’t mind the 40 for the Viennese Waltz because it was beautiful and because Erin said it was flawless – and as Erin is queen of ballroom its good enough for me. This one...I can’t really defend it. I don’t think it was full house material. But it was the dance I enjoyed most over the two nights, so perhaps perfection isn’t that important after all?

Strictly: Week Eleven - Friday

I caught my dad watching Strictly. Ha ha! I’m sure if you asked him he would say he just happened to glance up at the screen, but the fact he actually asked what kind of dance it was showed that he had more than a sneaky interest. It also showed that it wasn’t readily apparent which dance it was. More on that in part two!

I’d better start with Friday’s festivities first of all, whilst I can still remember them. Digital Spy forumites (aka the ‘Pit of Vipers’) had quite a bit to say about the performances and indeed the scoring of these dances. Mind you, it doesn’t take much to stir them into aggrieved indignation. All this student tuition fee riot malarkey that’s going on at the moment is nothing compared to the tantrums being thrown out in deepest internet land!

Chief target and public enemy number one seems to be Pamela Stephenson. As far as I can gather from the various threads that keep cropping up, Pamela is hated because she’s insincere, simpering, a self-publicist, a gusset/thigh flasher, always reminding everyone she’s a ‘woman of a certain age’ and married to Billy Connolly. She’s also over marked by the judges and simply not naturally as gifted as Kara.

Well, people like different things in folks at a guess. It’s possible, being open to interpretation, that she may be guilty of the first five, definitely of number six (for ‘tis a fact), and number seven is looking possible – although she isn’t really in control of how the judges vote, to be fair to the woman. And as for number eight, you can’t put in what God didn’t give you. Kara is just naturally brilliant and it’s no sin to come up short in certain respects when compared to her.

I like Pamela. I don’t care if she gushes: I simply enjoy watching her dance. I like her relationship with James. I do think she’s done brilliantly for someone her age. I can understand people being sick of hearing about the whole ‘flying the flag for older woman’ thing but that’s the BBC’s fault for pushing this angle. And if she is showing a lot of guts and determination, so what? The fact she’s also a good dancer seems to be getting lost in this whole age thing. I have queried the judges scores myself of late, but they are clearly seeing something that I haven’t in dishing out the tens. It doesn’t mean I don’t think Pamela’s a good dancer. Of those left she is the one I most look forward to each week, and that is probably the best compliment I can give.

You see, it comes down to many things in the end and chief amongst this is the partnership. If I like one half but not the other, then I find it difficult to vote. I never really got the whole ‘Tom and Camilla’ thing, but I didn’t have a favourite that year so it didn’t really matter. I didn’t see enough of ‘Brendan and Natasha’ to comment, but the other winning partnerships were amongst the standout ones in their respective years. Chris owed much of his win to the double act he had with Ola, and ‘Mark and Karen’ were probably the best dance pairing Strictly has had.

Of the contestants still standing this year Pam and James are the couple I most enjoy watching. Matt and Aliona haven’t quite convinced me as being dynamic enough as a duo, Scott and Natalie are fun but they don’t have any real chemistry, Gavin and Katya are as amusing to watch as a wallpapering DVD and Kara, who I love, and Artem, who I also love, have a certain frisson (but ultimately doesn’t appeal to my utterly non-romantic soul). So I personally would be happy to see ‘granny’ in the final three, even if she’s not going to win.

On with the dances. I think the Paso Doble outfit was Pamela’s best costume: a sort of cerise, Rennie-McIntosh design with black edging. It was very dramatically performed without tipping over into comedic farce, a fine line that is often crossed in Strictly (which is littered with Paso’s that are so overwrought that you don’t know whether to laugh or hide behind a cushion: see Linda Bellingham). I notice that chair work is the new 2010 big thing: first Kara’s sublime tango de chaise and now Pamela as Great Chief Sitting Bull. There were, as Craig spotted, a few errors and he marked her down accordingly, but if the technical side wasn’t so hot she at least nailed the performance side of it. And I think a big ‘well done’ needs to be said to James for coming up with any workable routine to a Lady GaGa track! At first I thought it was a 9, and then I thought an 8. I’m not sure now...I think the truth lies somewhere between, but if we are rounding up then it’s a slightly reluctant 9 from me.

I said earlier that Kara cannot be beaten for grace, elegance and artistry and I stand by that. When you compare Kara and Pamela it’s like putting a Titian next to something by Munch. Both have their merits, both are distinct, but one is more recognisable as a painting. Artem choreographed a complex, frisky, sultry and classy Viennese Waltz (which in itself is a difficult thing to do given that it has three steps and not very much else to recommend it); to quite a moody piece of music which gave it an unusual take on what is traditionally a fluffy kitten of a dance. It was, as Craig intimated, pretty near perfect – close enough for the three blind judges next to him not to notice the fact her foot twice came off the ground, making the move an illegal, if unintentional, lift. But Craig spots things like that. Heck, I even spotted it and I am not the worlds’ most observant person!

So, when does a lift become illegal? When it is done deliberately in a bid to flout the rules (Clare King and Brendan Cole in series 4, anyone)? Or just when the tiniest gap between toe and floor develops? The Kara supporters on DS were certainly riled by Craig’s unwillingness to overlook the fault, and possibly he could have if it had happened only once, but twice is asking a bit much where Craig’s concerned. Remember Mark and Karen’s sublime AT in 2006? One tiny nanosecond out of synch in the opening shadow movement was the difference between a full set of 10s and three of the blighters. If people are expecting Craig not to notice these things they are in cloud cuckoo land...

It was another case of a moral 10 for Kara, but a 9 nonetheless. Again, I wish there were 0.5s on offer, just so I could make the difference clearer, but if I had such a thing it would be a 9.5.

Gavin’s samba was awkward, there’s no other way of putting it. It had some pretty groovy hip movement at the start but it went rapidly downhill from then on. There were timing issues, and also moments where Gavin’s feet looked rooted in cement. I do like the fact that that he enjoyed it, and yes I – almost – felt sorry for him because he didn’t seem to think it was as bad as it really appeared to everyone else except the most loyal Henson devotees! I also think he looked very good in his shirt (as opposed to out of it, as per usual), but in all other respects I can’t help but feel he’s gone as far as he can in this competition. Despite her valiant, fighting spirit I get the feeling that Katya thinks the same. The biggest complement I can give Gavin? That he used the same music as Chris Parker did in series 1 for his Paso Doble, and that on a scale of one to ten, he beat Chris into a cocked hat, except in the unintentional laugh stakes!

Scott isn’t really made for the Argentine Tango. He’s a little tall, and not very Gaucho. There’s not really much he can do about either. Unfortunately, he seemed to have been stuck with a piece of music that was so slow that it meant he ended up with a somewhat reserved and introverted dance instead of intense and passionate. The footwork was by and large okay but the end result was a rather disconnected and uninvolving affair; in fact it was possibly the most boring Argentine Tango I’ve seen on the show since Brendan and the long-legged Lisa Snowden back in 2008. Hell, I even enjoyed Ali and Brian’s hilarious AT last year more: now that was a tango to remember! Ali’s lipstick was my primary source of entertainment. She looked like a child that had raided its mothers wardrobe and makeup bag, found the reddest shade of lip-gloss imaginable and then slapped it randomly on her face!

Alas, Scott didn’t even have luminous cherry lips to add something to the routine, and it slithered totally off my personal radar and into the abyss of utterly unmemorable Strictly routines. He’ll have to go some to stay in the contest now.

Ah...now here comes the main source of controversy. Matt Baker: big, rough, tough, sheep farming, welly wearing, macho former Blue Peter presenting Matt Baker almost reduced to tears by a gaggle of nasty, vicious judges! How the Baker fans on DS howled! Their man’s bottom lip had barely stopped wobbling when they were on-line venting their spleens at the horrific singling out that Matt had received. And the source of the stramash? The salsa!

My word, it wasn’t what anyone was expecting! The training had looked so promising. I’m not entirely sure where it went wrong, but it did appear to have been ‘overworked’, that is to say that there was so much intensity and power that the flowing, smooth, rippling that you associate with the dance and its intricate armography ended up being lost. I’m at a loss as to why a man who can handle the bouncy campiness of the samba can’t quite master a salsa: if anything the samba is more technical. Perhaps that is actually the answer: give Matt something intricate and difficult, where he can use his brain, and he will shine. For whatever reason he never really mastered the joyous party vibe that the salsa requires and it all ended up incredibly meh, like lumpy custard. He received straight sevens, reminiscent of Mark’s rather horrible Foxtrot. Both men must have experienced crushing disappointment, but being a sportsman Ramps was able to hide that sinking feeling away, whereas the shock and disbelief that poor Matt displayed was easy to read on his face.

It was unfortunate that Matt had discovered a dance so late on that didn’t suit him. His dismay was not remotely faked, but the fact that he appeared almost on the verge of tears after the unanimous condemnation by the judges will no doubt move his supporters – and floating viewers – to pick up the phone and vote. Aliona cannot solely be blamed for the blip in Matt’s form, although her routines are so showy and bogged down with little flashy bits and pieces that it looks as if she’s already rehearsing her show dance for the final! And again, rather like Pamela, Matt got saddled with a piece of music that did not scream ‘salsa’ and I doubt it helped him get in the party mood.

Not to worry, Matt. Many have tried and most have failed to get a maximum score in the salsa. You’re in rather good company when all is said and done. And let’s not forget, the person who did manage it was pretty darned excellent...

Result - 05/12/10

The iceberg has melted!!!

Anne's previous titanic efforts could not be matched, and the American Smooth finally did for the comedy antics of Anne and Anton. After all the weeks of laughter, complaints that better dancers were going, controversy, low scores, swinging from harnesses and near double hernias, Strictly's most unlikely duo finally departed from the dancefloor. Finding themselves in the bottom two with Scotttttttt (much to Bruno's unhappiness) team Widdebec fell at the quarterfinal stage. Some would say it was long overdue; others will be sad to see the fun factor go.

Farewell, Anne. It's been riotous, it's been ghastly - but it's rarely been dull!

Sunday 5 December 2010

Strictly: Week Ten

This may be a slightly condensed review. One of my darling cats decided to disappear in the cold and snow for the best part of a day, and to be perfectly honest I wasn’t really in the mood to take notes under the circumstances. The little blighter re-appeared on the stroke of midnight, having kept us fretting all day, and if it wasn’t for Strictly providing a small window of light relief I may have been even more of an emotional wreck than I was.

I quite like the idea of a ‘movie’ themed night; although I did wonder if this might mean shoehorning ideas into dances that didn’t quite go. Take Scott Maslen and his 007-look Paso Doble. I wanted to like this more than I actually did. It was certainly powerful, and yes it was dramatic, and he danced it with passion and intent. But to be honest, there didn’t seem to be much magic about it. When I look back on the brilliant Paso’s, such as Austin’s or Ramps’, they both seemed to maintain that Spanish machismo that was sadly washed away by the famous James Bond theme, and I’m afraid that no amount of foot stomping and gratuitous tearing of shirts will make up for it. I’m not anti tearing shirts, for the record (depending who is wearing it). Natalie’s attempts at Ursula Andress somehow only managed to look rather cheap, like a budget Honey Ryder. Not that I want people thinking I’m Mary Whitehouse reincarnate, but I’m not sure that the nearly naked look works for a Paso. It certainly works for Bond, but then you have that juxtaposition I referred to earlier where both elements result in something not entirely appropriate.

Still, Scott did so much better than last week. All the steps appeared to be occur without much mishap but I personally found his total of 35 to be, once again, a little too high...

Anne Widdecombe must have been dreaming of a 35 total. I think it’s been a while since Anton saw one as well! It was interesting to see how, over the last week, people close to the show are now subtly but surely beginning to reach for the knives where team Widdebec are concerned. Now, at the quarter final stages, there seems to be a genuine feeling that it should be the dancers that make it to the final rather than the, shall we say, ‘novelty acts’. Anne’s chief problem was that her American Smooth contained nothing that was (deliberately) amusing. The lifts were genuinely impressive; I’d feared for Anton’s T7 and 8 vertebrae earlier in the week and had wondered if perhaps the idea of dancing the semi’s in a wheelchair might be their latest gimmick! Lifts apart, there wasn’t very much that was genuinely smooth about it, but thankfully they stopped short of following Scott’s lead and ripping Anton’s shirt open...

Alesha was surprisingly blunt to Anne. She didn’t quite say “sling yer’ bleedin’ hook” but it wasn’t far short of it.

I wasn’t very keen on Matt’s Austin Powers jive. By its nature a jive should never be dorky, goofy and be composed entirely of ‘schwinnnnnng!’ I watched it with a mixture of astonishment, admiration and embarrassment: in the end I wasn’t quite sure what I was supposed to feel. I’m not knocking Matt’s Austin Powers impression, which was rather good, or the fact that he threw himself into it with aplomb, in a way that I don’t think he has previously. I reckon that the character was so extreme that he excelled purely because it wasn’t Matt Baker on display, but a well known film character! But the dance itself left me feeling distinctly unmoved, and actually rather bored. Too slow for a jive, and just...too un-jivey!

The least said about the vote-snaring gymnastics the better. I don’t really agree with the maxim that “if you can do something well, do it.” I could tear off all my clothes and streak round the Oval, but I don’t. I wouldn’t inflict that horror on anyone...

Now, hands up who thought Pammy was going to get a nice big 40-shaped birthday surprise? You could see it waiting to happen. Claudia appeared to be priming Craig with the notion, and when the theme from ‘Ghost’ was revealed on ITT I thought Craig was going to burst into tears. And Len, he likes a good-old fashioned ballroom dance. And Bruno; he’s partial to a bit of romance. You could just tell that the configuration of the stars had aligned themselves into a favourable pattern on Pam’s big day to result in the first maximum score of the series. Even hubby Billy C was there to witness it.

I’m going to be controversial. I actually enjoyed this dance more than Kara’s tango. There: I’ve said it. The chuntering on the forums seem to suggest that Pamela is the anti-Christ because she got there before Kara in the big four zero stakes, and that Kara was dreadfully under-marked. Now, I’ve already said that I reckon that Kara should win the whole shebang but that’s not going to stop me from saying that, whilst I thought Pamela’s dance was worth four 9s, I thought the same of Kara’s as well. And what puts Pamela’s above Kara’s? Because it managed to touch the fluffy side of my nature that, frankly, I thought had long shrivelled up like a mouldy cucumber, forgotten in the vegetable compartment of a fridge-freezer. My inner vixen still functions perfectly normally so perhaps I found Kara’s tango less captivating, but when something beautiful comes along and makes me want to snuggle into a slanket, I have to whip out my metaphorical 10. Even if it was really a 9.

Hell’s teeth: did I say that? I’m behaving like Bruno now!

It shouldn’t be about age, and it isn’t really, but I would like to make one point. Pamela’s pretty much a marmite person and that is why I don’t think she is going to win the show, but credit where it’s due: having got into the semi finals at the age of 61 (and done it on merit) she will be the oldest person in 8 series to have made it that far, and that is something worthy of acknowledgement.

Gavin was back in hold this evening. Hurrah! Unfortunately he was doing a Foxtrot, and I cannot abide the wretched dance, so for me he’s lost points just by turning up. He was, however, so much better than he’s been previously, which was heartening if you are a Henson supporter. I still find him a little unnatural and forced at times: I think Katya herself said that it doesn’t come naturally to Gavin, which is possibly why his eyes sometimes seem to glaze over in concentration. As someone who has never been especially kind to Gavin’s many imperfections it is to his great credit that he has got this far, although that may be down mostly to the pulling power of his pectorals! He has got better, it doesn’t look quite as pained as once it did, and his Foxtrot travelled nicely around the floor. But I find something incredibly listless and insipid about Gavin’s dancing. The only dance he’s done that I saw a performance of note was his Paso. Last week’s jive had me hiding my eyes behind my fingers. I didn’t do that tonight, but that was because I was too busy yawning.

Sorry Gav. In Andy Pandy style, it’s “time to go home...”

I don’t need to know if Kara and Artem are up to anything off the dance floor. That is their business. If they do get it together after the show finishes its run then good on them, and I wish them well. Quite why Artem felt the need to announce to the British public that he was going to be asking Kara out I really couldn’t say, but I imagine it was a ploy to grab the ‘showmance’ vote. Well, all I can say to that is this:

Yuck.

Moving on to the dance itself, I loved the idea of using Moulin Rouge’s ‘El Tango de Roxanne’. I’ve been waiting for someone to use that! It’s so dramatic, passionate and violent – perfect for a tango. Anyone who has not seen this section of Moulin Rouge, I have to point you in this direction. If only because Ewan McGregor is so darned cute.


El Tango de Roxanne


I loved what Kara and Artem did with this routine. I think there was a little too much chair-action to be honest, but I can forgive that when they have delivered one of the best tangos in SCD history. Not the best, in my opinion. When Alesha said it was the best, she seemed to have airbrushed Zoe Ball out of history! Still, a high-ranking and worthy dance, and one in which Kara looked stunning. I’d be jealous if I didn’t think she was the bees’ knees!

And that as they say, is that. The couples are getting less and less each week, and next week there will be a double eviction after three nights of Strictly joyousness on the bounce. My dad will go absolutely mental: he can’t stand the show. I will also probably be annoyed come the results show next weekend. There was a double eviction on ‘I’m A Celebrity’ which saw Kayla (not one of my favourites) chucked out followed by Dom (who I wanted to win, even if he didn’t stand a snowflake’s chance). Going by this, we’re going to lose Gavin and Pamela before the final.

What the lord giveth, the lord taketh away...

Result - 29/11/10

And so time was called on Patsy's participation in the contest. She went possibly two weeks before she should have based on the judges leaderboard, but the chances of her making the final in the face of such stiff competition was virtualy nil anyway so it was only a mini-injustice. Patsy's been fun to watch by and large, and definitely one of the positives in this year's show.

And I will miss her verbal altercations with Craig!