Friday 17 September 2010

End of season blues

So, there we have it. Another county championship ends; heralding the true start of autumn. Now all I have to look forward to are increasingly dark days, overuse of my SAD lamp and the inexorable slithering towards the festive period. There’s always the horse racing, I suppose, and the prospect of watching Ann Widdecombe being manhandled around the Strictly Come Dancing studio floor by an exasperated Anton Du Bec! Whose body will give out first, I wonder?

And please, if they get to Samba week, no pink tail-feathers on AW’s costume. I don’t think my mind could take it...

It was lovely to see Surrey sign off with a win, and in such dramatic fashion! They do seem adept at these random last-gasp rescues! That amazingly tense finish to the 2007 championship against Lancashire will live with me forever. I was so pleased to witness it, even although there was a part of me that felt very sad for Lancs. Then that amazing game last year against Middlesex on a very cold day in May 2009, where they turned almost certain defeat into an incredible draw at the last moment. Run-outs, stumpings, you name it: Surrey pulled it out the bag! If I had a favourite piece of commentary by Mark Church it would most likely be this one.

There have been some tight games since but the defeat of Gloucestershire by 10 runs, thanks at the end to an inspired Jade Dernbach who took two wickets in two balls, ranks alongside them. Well played Surrey! I have to say I thought the declaration a tad generous, but it proves what most people no doubt think: when it comes to cricket I know absolutely nothing!

There have been highs and lows throughout the season, most of which I have documented. The highs were so huge they had snow covering them: the glorious 40 over world record against Glamorgan, Ramps’ imperious 1st innings double century & 2nd innings century (although I still think they should have stuck the team in again), Andre Nel’s bravery doing his best on one leg...it takes a skilled man to hop round the wicket and bowl! There have been many others too, such as Jason Roy becoming the first Surrey man in history to score 100 in a T20 game.

And there have been massive lows, too; many of which were just too depressing to name! It was sad to see Michael Brown unable to bat at all this year due to injury/rehabilitation/surgery. His top order stability was much missed this season, and it must have been desperately frustrating for the poor man to sit on the sidelines and watch as his team struggled at times. It was also sad to see Usman Afzaal being released by the club, although the writing appeared to be on the wall for a good few months.

The undoubted successes of the year were Steven Davies and in particular Chris Tremlett. Considering Tremlett had a reputation for disintegrating if you so much as sneezed a mile downwind in his direction, the boy done good! In fact I’d be surprised if he didn’t get Surrey player of the year to be honest, sad as it is for Ramps not to win it for the umpteenth time.

Talking of the great man, he managed to finish top batsmen for Surrey by some distance. He also managed to be top run scorer in both divisions (a fact that seems to have gone remarkably unreported), although Hildreth topped the averages this year. Whilst not a vintage Ramprakash season by his own standards, nigh on 1600 runs and five centuries including two doubles isn’t to be sneezed at for a spritely 41 year old.

The highlight of my London trip was watching him bat. Sure, it would have been nice to witness him get a half century but just to be able to see the way he went about composing an innings, taking his time to start with and getting himself in before slowly going through the gears, was a real treat for me. I’d heard it oft described, and finally I managed to see it for myself. Fingers crossed he’s back next year for one last hurrah! I guess he doesn’t really owe Surrey any favours but I do hope he sees his contract out next year. I have the feeling the club still desperately needs his experience.

And if he chooses not to, well, how to you go about replacing the irreplaceable? I think Chris Adams already knows the answer to that one. Quite simply: you can’t.

So, Surrey end the season with a touch of deja vu. They end third from bottom, like last year, although with three more games won than last time. Progress of sorts, most certainly. If they had taken the chances that had come their way, or converted those narrow defeats into victories, they may have challenged for promotion at the end. But the team as a whole is still green, still learning their trade, with much still to do before they can climb the Division 2 ladder. However, from a Surrey point of view at least the club can take one positive from the season...

They finished above Middlesex again.

Wednesday 15 September 2010

A Footnote In History

Whenever I go anywhere, something always happens to my feet.

I once travelled to Disney Land in Florida with my sister, and having suffered the terror of flying in a plane that looked too big to get off the ground let alone stay in the sky I suffered the indignity of spending several days in a wheelchair. The heat was so intense that it melted the soles of my shoes and they stuck to my feet. I then had to wear several pairs of inappropriate shoes, which caused massive blisters so that I couldn’t walk. That’s not an exaggeration on my part for once: I literally couldn’t walk!

Previous trips to London have also resulted in blister problems, and this time I came prepared with plasters, special insoles and the like. Only two small blisters were sustained which quickly went away. Alas, on leaving the Oval on day two, something went wrong with my left foot: something seemed to tear whilst coming down the stairs from the Wedlake Bell stand. I spent the next few days hopping and hobbling on one foot, and probably whining and moaning about it a great deal.

I’d like to apologise to all the Rampants who had to put up with my feeble attempts at getting around London on one leg, especially Lorna who probably got the worst of it. The bottom line is that I’m not fit any more: a year away from the exercise bike has turned me into Jabba the Hutt. So, whilst the cricket season winds slowly to its conclusion, and whilst I turn my blogging focus from cricket to Strictly Come Dancing until the New Year, I hope to put the coming months of non-cricket to good use and try to get my figure back. I didn’t always resemble a burst pillow, you know. I can remember at least one year when I didn’t look like Cosgrove...

Foot update, for those who are interested: swollen, but otherwise okay.

You know that thing that small children do when they want their parents to be proud of them? Give them some extraordinary tale of what they’ve been up to in the hope their gargantuan efforts will be praised? Well, Liz and I decided to walk to the Oval from our Hotel in Tavistock Square in light of the tube strike on the Tuesday. I have to admit that I wanted to do it: a chance to walk through London rather than simply pass through a series of dark tunnels in rush hour seemed just the thing! And we completed it in an hour and a half! I was feeling so proud of my little unfit self as it seemed to be several thousand miles in distance.

Imagine how crestfallen I was to discover it was hardly any distance at all.

Next time I’m taking roller skates...

Kevin Pietersen broke my camera!



Of course, Kevin Pietersen got his revenge for my inadvertent hexing whilst we watched him, grand old Duke of York style, marching out to the middle then marching back again.

I’d been happily snapping away with my camera and decided grudgingly that I hadn’t taken enough of KP. It is true that I had taken quite a few of Ramps, Tremlett, Roy and Dernbach but there are times when you have to put your natural bias to one side and take a more subjective view of things. Kevin was never especially close to where we were sitting – even Ramps was closer this time, much to our collective delight – but at some point in the afternoon I decided it was time to zoom in on Kevin and give him a bit of camera time.

I pointed my camera at him, took two pictures in rapid succession, and then KP turned and looked straight down my lens...

Whereapon my camera died.

Not only is Pietersen on his day one of England’s finest players but he has the ability to fry expensive digital equipment with a single look. It’s an impressive skill to have, without question.

Thing is, should I send Kevin the bill or should I, as my mother suggested, put it down to simply exhausting the thing by taking so many pictures of Ramps and Tremlett?

Twinkle, twinkle little star!




I’m not sure where the star-jump craze came from, but the Rampants have a mission to star-jump at as many county cricket grounds as possible. Some of us have performed at Lords, some at the Rose Bowl. I dare say at some point next year I will have to do my bit at the Grange (hopefully when nobody else is looking). But the ‘biggie’ was the Oval last week, where a small but dedicated bunch of Rampants indulged their star-jumping fetish in the ladies toilets.

It was slightly awkward to explain what we were up to when a lady walked into the loos, laughing and shaking her head at our antics, but as she had a brown Ramprakash shirt on her back I think she was quietly amused! Fortunately the one picture of me with legs akimbo was too blurred to display on t’internet. What a shame, eh?

The undisputed Rampant Queen of star-jumping is our very own Jean, and I have attached a picture showing the wonderful simultaneous arm, leg and tongue action that makes her our champion.

Jeano, you rock!

A Prediliction for prediction!




It’s official. I have witchy powers.

We sat at the Oval last week and watched the action eagerly, awaiting the arrival of the mighty Kevin Pietersen in his bid to kick-start his England career again. One of the Rampants jokingly asked how many balls KP might face before he got out. Instantly I replied ‘two’.

Two balls later, Kevin was walking back to the pavilion.

I did however reassure them that he would make one more run in the second innings than he did in the first. It was a day or so before this was put to the test, but when his time came round again, sure enough KP scored the princely sum of one run before he was sent back to the pavilion once again.

Sorry Kev!

Sunday 5 September 2010

London bound

Okay. So maybe he is the messiah...

On a serious note, well done to KP for his century yesterday. And also well done to Jason Roy for his contribution. Having KP to bat with appears to have helped him build his innings yesterday. That said, my favourite moment was the first team debut of Ansari, who took a wicket with his first ever ball! He must have been well chuffed! Sad to see James Kirtley for the Sharks hanging up his boots, especially with the likes of Robin Martin-Jenkins retiring earlier in the year. The pair of them will be missed in county cricket.

And Churchy must be psychic. He said the game had the makings of a draw, and a draw with Sussex it was!

I won’t be posting on the Glamorgan game; at least not as it happens. I have taken a notebook with me just in case I want to jot anything down that happens, and write it up when I return home the following Monday. Can’t say I’m looking forward to tomorrow as travelling leaves me a nervous wreck for reasons previously explained, but I have Tricia to see me safe this time and I can’t thank her enough as she has gone out of her way to help.

So, off to London tomorrow. I’m looking forward to seeing our three favourite Marks: Ramprakash, Cosgrove and Church! Because of the tube strike on Tuesday, and the forecast of heavy rain that day, it may be that those of us who are coming to London decide to skip day one and search for a nice cake for Churchy and Johnny Barran instead. I think we may be playing this by ear. This has been a really peculiar year for many of the Rampants and sadly there have been a lot of other concerns in our lives that has to an extent put paid to following the cricket, or even attending. I also think my organisation probably screwed things up a tad. Note to everyone: don’t let me arrange anything! I can barely get out of bed in the morning some days let alone anything more complicated!

Anyway, all packed (I think). The cat is very suspicious and he knows the suitcase means I’m going away. He tends to miss me on the rare occasions I leave the house and will probably shed his hair through stress (probably all over my bed)...

Until the next time, then!

Wednesday 1 September 2010

He's not the Messiah!

Not sure I’ll bother with an actual match report, mostly because I’m tired and I won’t do it justice! I will say that we comprehensively lost to Worcestershire in our penultimate game of the year, but I think that’s fair enough considering they played so beautifully (especially Solanki). It does, alas, mean that we have zero chance of qualifying for the next round of games, which is disappointing but sort of where we are as a team at the moment. We have glorious, brilliant moments interspersing – how shall we say – considerably less glorious occasions. We’re not quite ready to challenge for trophies.

But, in a spirit of supreme optimism, let us at least smile and be happy that we have those little highlights. Two years ago we didn’t have anything to celebrate other than the marvellous achievement of Ramps’ hundredth hundred. Surrey have come on a lot since then and anyone who thinks otherwise is clearly extremely blinkered in their views.

I admit I can be a little blinkered. Take the matter of Kevin 'He's not the Messiah' Pietesen’s signing on loan to Surrey: a good exercise in putting ‘bums on seats’ if ever there was one. It seems that the ECB were the ones who asked Surrey to take on England’s out of nick batting whiz: the writing was on the wall the moment Middlesex confirmed they weren’t going to have him at Lords. Now, I have to hold my hand up and say that I fall into the sceptic camp where KP is concerned, but I guess if he does rediscover his mojo it’s good for the England team, and we’ll hardly be seeing him at the Oval anyway.

It’s not strictly a personality thing where he’s concerned: at the end of the day, I don’t know him. I think my love of county cricket and the fact that I am strictly a neutral when it comes to international cricket means that I find it difficult to engage with those whose participation in the championship is limited to once in a blue moon. Yes, tests are the highest level you can excel at but it doesn’t have the same hold over me as the county matches do. What can I say; I’m a history buff who loves facts, figures and tales of legendary batsmen and bowlers from yesteryear. The championship just seems much more accessible and cosy to me. Slightly less cut and thrust. It appeals to my inner sentimentalism, something that KP doesn’t at the present time!

But, I am fair minded enough to give him a try. The Rampants are fairly split down the middle on the whole KP thing, but I shan’t spoil it for my friends by being a grouch when KP comes out to bat against Glamorgan. Unless he plays and Ramps doesn’t, for some reason.

In which case I shall sulk all week.