I might boast at this point that Mystic Miah predicted the correct final three, but in fairness it was pretty much a no-brainer. Holly’s been in the bottom two twice and simply didn’t have enough people voting for her to get her to the finals. And gracious Alex had just about gone as far as she could in the contest. With that in mind it was never really going to be anything else.
In terms of the semis we saw some more than decent dancing from all the remaining couples. Of course, the more focussed and polished the performance the more likely it is that Craig will get it out on the live show, and he did so twice on Saturday.
That’s his 10, folks.
Of course, I’m still smarting at the lack of a 40 for Mark & Karen’s Argentine Tango, but fair enough: I’m sure Craig had his reasons at the time. Some stray hair out of place, or an awkwardly placed little finger maybe. Hey ho! I thought I’d put that behind me long ago but, sadly, with the awarding of a maximum 40 to Jason in the same dance I’m afraid Craig managed to reawaken the trauma that we Rampants felt back in 2006 at the sight of that ‘9’. We frothed at the mouth for several months afterwards, although the ‘10’ for the salsa in the final perhaps made us feel a little less aggrieved. And it’s impossible to stay mad at Craig. We know he’s not really nasty: he has one of the loveliest smiles going, when he’s given a reason to use it!
Still. What on earth did Craig see in Jason’s AT that he didn’t in Marks’? I thought it was basically 90 seconds of Jason pulling some distracting faces, sniffing Kristina’s hair and throwing some very un-Argentine moves. Kristina pulled off some very neat dancing, I agree, whilst Jason didn’t really lead enough for me. Maybe I just didn’t like the story telling. It was less ‘man-in-pursuit’ and more ‘Australian Psycho’. I don’t want to see dancers eviscerated on the dance floor...
It did occur to me that I was letting my chagrin at Jason being awarded a higher score than Ramps get in the way of being subjective and so I reviewed the thing again, setting aside any bias. But I came to the same conclusion. As I said on Twitter ‘better than Ramps? I don’t bl**dy think so!’
Their samba was a bit odd. I don’t mean in a bad way, necessarily. It’s just that the choice of song made it a tad slow, and at times made the bounce action a bit exaggerated. A valiant attempt at the ultimate party dance, done by a man wearing pink! Shame about the timing issues...
As for the rest of the dances, Holly performed the most bizarre, modern take on the Charleston you’re ever likely to see. I’m in constant awe at the choreographical genius that is Artem, and the way he takes risks at pushing the envelope, but it was almost a step too far for me this time. I got the idea but I guess I just didn’t care for it that much, and Holly looked quite ragged all the way through. Her Argentine Tango I liked a lot: it was smooth, seductive and purred like a kitten. Much more teasing and taunting than the subtle-as-a-mallet Donovan AT! And the stoolography was rather neat too!
Alex did well but seemed obviously out of her depth: a bit like a selling plater being entered in the Grand National. Yet I’ve really liked her much more than I thought I would. Both she and Chelsee have been the surprises for me this year. Her dances were perfectly serviceable although she looked a bit stiff and inflexible in her waltz, and the salsa was totally barmy and as unmanageable as curly hair in a thunderstorm, but it was perfectly acceptable. Alas, at this stage it probably wasn’t good enough.
Chelsee was also the beneficiary of Craig’s Christmas ten bonanza, and this time I felt it was probably more justified. She always hits such wonderful lines and shapes her arms beautifully. It isn’t easy for someone of her diminutive stature to look graceful. Or, to paraphrase Craig, a wee Munchkin person. Sorry, vertically challenged. But somehow she manages it. Her attempt in the American Smooth earlier on was slightly less successful and I thought she looked a bit shaky, especially in the near-aborted splits section. Perhaps it was nerves, but whatever the reason she must have channelled her energies big time on a real stonker of a Paso Doble, or Pasha Doble as it is now being called! Pasha’s been the real big find in this season of Strictly. I think it would have been poorer without him.
Whilst Craig dusted off his almost brand new 10 paddle for Jason and Chelsee, poor ickle Harry remains un-rewarded in terms of a maximum score from the Revel-Horwood. People are comparing Harry to Ramps, as the cricket maestro had to wait ‘til the final to get his perfect score. I personally think Harry may be rewarded for his wait. The dances he has chosen ought to tip the undecided into picking up the phone and voting for him, and that quickstep is one I am just waiting to see again! Besides, we all know that an awful large amount of Strictly has little or nothing to do with dancing. If Harry was rubbish he’d have gone out a few weeks back most likely, but he’s excellent, and that combined with the teenage McFly fans coating their TV’s with the drool from their tongues should probably be enough to see Harry crowned King Hal in Blackpool.
His Charleston was well executed, had some great moves in it, but I would have preferred it to have been more OTT. That’s just personal preference though. When it comes to goofy slapstick you can’t really beat Chris and Ola, even although an awful lot of disgruntled Ricky Whittle fans sound like they’d like to...
The Judd Viennese Waltz looked beautiful, but as I have said repeatedly throughout this blog I just don’t like melancholic VW’s. I want them as fluffy as a little yellow chick: as light as a powder puff. I want to be transported to a meadow in spring time, showered in snowdrops and little tiny daisies. I don’t wish to see a VW that looks as if someone wants to slit their wrists to the sound of the Smith’s greatest hits. Personal preference, I know, but if the song doesn’t lend itself to smiling, change the song! The VW isn’t that complicated: it has three basic steps. If it has a fourth integral component then it’s the smile. It may be enough to make Alesha go weak in the bladder but it doesn’t do it for me!
So, where’s my vote going next week? I haven’t a clue. I think Harry will easily win but I hope that it’s a Chelsee/Harry final two as I think in recent weeks they’ve just about done enough to edge out Jason.
Unless of course Harry wears a tank top in the showdance like Matt Di’Angelo. In which case I’ll be wondering why Russell Grant never got to the final...
Saturday 17 December 2011
Saturday 10 December 2011
Strictly: Week Ten and Results Show 04/12/11
And here we are now, at the sharp end of the contest: the pointy, uncomfortable bit that nobody wants to experience. It’s like a kid’s party, where the front door opens and the first five children are allowed in but number six (the one that tries too hard to be liked) is sent packing because he didn’t have fashionable hair. It must be a bummer to be chucked off the show first, but imagine how galling it is to not quite reach the semi finals.
Of course this year’s lot have it easy. In the past the final six would have been dancing ten dances each with weights strapped to their Cuban heels/feather boas as punishment for having the audacity to get so far in the contest. Bruno and Craig would throw wet sponges at the celebs as they fox-trotted round the floor, just to knock them off stride. Len would shout names and call them all ‘big jessies’ from the sidelines whilst Arlene would reach forward with an extendable feather duster to tickle the blokes under the arm pits. This time the celebs haven’t even done more than one dance in the evening.
Wusses.
So, who would fall in the quarter finals? Who would have the stamina to survive another week?
Let’s make this terse and to the point. In my opinion the correct couple went, and that’s with no disrespect intended towards those individuals. Robbie was pretty much on borrowed time (debatably he should have gone before Anita) as he was clearly part of the team that had started to resemble a one trick pony. And the trick wasn’t even very good to be honest.
He did however put in a very fine performance on the night, to give him his due. I enjoyed his quickstep: it was light on its feet, the routine made good use of the floor and I have to confess I’ve been waiting years for someone to dance to ‘Little Green Bag’. Hurrah! Extra bonus points for favourite song usage! I even forgave the sheer amount of faffage at the start of the dance. But, alas, whilst Robbie danced very well, the others danced even better. And them’s the breaks!
Alex I thought to be very stumbly and unbalanced at times during her American Smooth. It turns out that once again the poor woman managed to get her heels caught in her dress hem. Under the circumstances she did pretty well not to fall on her backside. I suppose next week James could put her on coasters, but then she’d probably look like an amiable Dalek floating round the room. She was visibly upset and no doubt thinking she was likely to exit the show on a dance that, for reasons out of her control, wasn’t her best effort. I have to say I was rather pleased she got through. She’s no world beater but she is a consistent and much improved dancer.
Harry deserves credit for being that rare thing: a celebrity male whose swaying and swivelling hips were not cowed by the rumba! He looked confident, the moves all flowed beautifully, but I did actually feel that he overworked it all a tad. The lyrics were powerful, I suppose, and I’m guessing he channelled all that saccharine emotion into his dance. I’m sure however the silent movie version of the dance must have looked very strange to the 90% of people up and down the UK who screamed and reached for the remote moments after the first strains of ‘Everything I Do’ could be heard. I personally don’t mind it, but after 16 plus weeks at number one in the early 1990s it’s fair to say there are many who have an almost Pavlov’s dog reaction to the tune. Points off for Harry, however, because he didn’t do the full Robin Hood tights thing, opting for a suitably Costneresque look.
Spoilsport!
Holly. Still not looking up from the floor! Someone take her for a day trip to the army: they’d teach her to look ahead! Coyness in a Paso is utterly daft. And it’s especially galling when you consider it was actually one of the finest celeb Paso Dobles I can remember seeing! The dress was one of the most authentic on the show, and Holly hit some marvellous lines. She felt the need to up her game to prove to the audience at home that she was worthy of the semi final and in fairness she managed to do just that. Massive credit to Artem for choreographing a marvellous routine, even if he cut an unlikely dash at being Zorro!
I’m not sure why Jason’s routine didn’t grab me. It should have done, because it had all the style, smoothness and sophistication (I’m channelling Arlene again) that you would expect from a routine based on ‘Singing in the Rain’. And kudos to Jason, who always wholeheartedly embraces any dance he can work some character into. But perhaps next to the romance of Harry and the drama of Holly, the sympathy felt for Alex’s little costume mishap and the sheer joy of Chelsee, Jason ended up being the poor, not so flashy relation. He possibly was overlooked by the audience or maybe, just possibly, the viewers are not connecting with Jason or Kristina as a couple. Next week will be the litmus test for both of them.
If it was purely a matter of chemistry then Chelsee and Pasha would have this sewn up. Enthusiasm’s a wonderful thing and Chelsee is certainly enthusiastic! I have to say I loved the Shrek jive: it’s up there with my favourite dances from all the series. Not the best, or even top five, but one of the happiest and most fun I can recall. And Pasha, bless him, ‘greened up’ for the dance into Ogre like splendidness. Going last and being so memorable was almost certain to take them both to the next round, although I did worry that Pasha’s ears might melt under the hot studio lights!
Robbie was not surprised to find himself in the bottom two, although Kristina certainly was! Understandably upset, given that Jason is a mighty fine dancer, the thought of not making that final group caused her to well up. It’s an emotional rollercoaster, is Strictly. It’s not about the winning, it’s about the journey. Remember those ones? I think it was the series 4 mantra! Alas, Robbie’s personal journey came to a halt, and the man who had transformed himself from football’s mister nasty to dancing’s mister sophisticated had to say auvoir to the contest. Thousands of girls up and down the country wept as they waved their blonde hero goodbye. And even more men cried at the thought of no more Ola in a catsuit...
If it were me, at this moment, I would say that the final should consist of Harry/Jason/Chelsee. Before the series started I was convinced that Jason would win. Heading into the last few weeks I’m edging towards Harry as the likely victor. But my heart says Chelsee and Pasha.
C’mon, guys. Ogre power! Green is beautiful!
Of course this year’s lot have it easy. In the past the final six would have been dancing ten dances each with weights strapped to their Cuban heels/feather boas as punishment for having the audacity to get so far in the contest. Bruno and Craig would throw wet sponges at the celebs as they fox-trotted round the floor, just to knock them off stride. Len would shout names and call them all ‘big jessies’ from the sidelines whilst Arlene would reach forward with an extendable feather duster to tickle the blokes under the arm pits. This time the celebs haven’t even done more than one dance in the evening.
Wusses.
So, who would fall in the quarter finals? Who would have the stamina to survive another week?
Let’s make this terse and to the point. In my opinion the correct couple went, and that’s with no disrespect intended towards those individuals. Robbie was pretty much on borrowed time (debatably he should have gone before Anita) as he was clearly part of the team that had started to resemble a one trick pony. And the trick wasn’t even very good to be honest.
He did however put in a very fine performance on the night, to give him his due. I enjoyed his quickstep: it was light on its feet, the routine made good use of the floor and I have to confess I’ve been waiting years for someone to dance to ‘Little Green Bag’. Hurrah! Extra bonus points for favourite song usage! I even forgave the sheer amount of faffage at the start of the dance. But, alas, whilst Robbie danced very well, the others danced even better. And them’s the breaks!
Alex I thought to be very stumbly and unbalanced at times during her American Smooth. It turns out that once again the poor woman managed to get her heels caught in her dress hem. Under the circumstances she did pretty well not to fall on her backside. I suppose next week James could put her on coasters, but then she’d probably look like an amiable Dalek floating round the room. She was visibly upset and no doubt thinking she was likely to exit the show on a dance that, for reasons out of her control, wasn’t her best effort. I have to say I was rather pleased she got through. She’s no world beater but she is a consistent and much improved dancer.
Harry deserves credit for being that rare thing: a celebrity male whose swaying and swivelling hips were not cowed by the rumba! He looked confident, the moves all flowed beautifully, but I did actually feel that he overworked it all a tad. The lyrics were powerful, I suppose, and I’m guessing he channelled all that saccharine emotion into his dance. I’m sure however the silent movie version of the dance must have looked very strange to the 90% of people up and down the UK who screamed and reached for the remote moments after the first strains of ‘Everything I Do’ could be heard. I personally don’t mind it, but after 16 plus weeks at number one in the early 1990s it’s fair to say there are many who have an almost Pavlov’s dog reaction to the tune. Points off for Harry, however, because he didn’t do the full Robin Hood tights thing, opting for a suitably Costneresque look.
Spoilsport!
Holly. Still not looking up from the floor! Someone take her for a day trip to the army: they’d teach her to look ahead! Coyness in a Paso is utterly daft. And it’s especially galling when you consider it was actually one of the finest celeb Paso Dobles I can remember seeing! The dress was one of the most authentic on the show, and Holly hit some marvellous lines. She felt the need to up her game to prove to the audience at home that she was worthy of the semi final and in fairness she managed to do just that. Massive credit to Artem for choreographing a marvellous routine, even if he cut an unlikely dash at being Zorro!
I’m not sure why Jason’s routine didn’t grab me. It should have done, because it had all the style, smoothness and sophistication (I’m channelling Arlene again) that you would expect from a routine based on ‘Singing in the Rain’. And kudos to Jason, who always wholeheartedly embraces any dance he can work some character into. But perhaps next to the romance of Harry and the drama of Holly, the sympathy felt for Alex’s little costume mishap and the sheer joy of Chelsee, Jason ended up being the poor, not so flashy relation. He possibly was overlooked by the audience or maybe, just possibly, the viewers are not connecting with Jason or Kristina as a couple. Next week will be the litmus test for both of them.
If it was purely a matter of chemistry then Chelsee and Pasha would have this sewn up. Enthusiasm’s a wonderful thing and Chelsee is certainly enthusiastic! I have to say I loved the Shrek jive: it’s up there with my favourite dances from all the series. Not the best, or even top five, but one of the happiest and most fun I can recall. And Pasha, bless him, ‘greened up’ for the dance into Ogre like splendidness. Going last and being so memorable was almost certain to take them both to the next round, although I did worry that Pasha’s ears might melt under the hot studio lights!
Robbie was not surprised to find himself in the bottom two, although Kristina certainly was! Understandably upset, given that Jason is a mighty fine dancer, the thought of not making that final group caused her to well up. It’s an emotional rollercoaster, is Strictly. It’s not about the winning, it’s about the journey. Remember those ones? I think it was the series 4 mantra! Alas, Robbie’s personal journey came to a halt, and the man who had transformed himself from football’s mister nasty to dancing’s mister sophisticated had to say auvoir to the contest. Thousands of girls up and down the country wept as they waved their blonde hero goodbye. And even more men cried at the thought of no more Ola in a catsuit...
If it were me, at this moment, I would say that the final should consist of Harry/Jason/Chelsee. Before the series started I was convinced that Jason would win. Heading into the last few weeks I’m edging towards Harry as the likely victor. But my heart says Chelsee and Pasha.
C’mon, guys. Ogre power! Green is beautiful!
Saturday 3 December 2011
Strictly: Week Nine and Results Show 27/11/11
After the bru-ha-ha (sorry, razzmatazz) of the Wembley spectacular Strictly found itself back in the confines of TV Centre. I can’t say I was sorry, to be honest. Polish the show all you want: say the current series is the best ever, add as many props, garden swings and lamp posts as you see fit. If you stretch something small to the size of an elephant’s bladder, sooner or later it’ll go pop. With very messy results.
I’m not equating the show to an explosive shower of pachyderm wee but it would be fair to say that Strictly works better on a small scale. You don’t want to get too far away from its studio bound Saturday teatime roots: that’s where its charm lies. This was part of the reason I thought the show made a huge return to form this week, with Harry falling a biscuit crumb short of perfection with his quickstep. I was going to talk about that later but seeing as how I’ve mentioned him here I may as well say ‘well done’ to him for a superb performance. Great choreography from Aliona, some complicated steps chucked at the boy and he managed it really well. But I sided with Craig on the ‘9’ and for one reason only.
There’s no question in my mind now, after that dance, Harry is the best dancer of the remaining celebs. But I do wish he’d cracked a smile! It would have lit that performance up like a Christmas tree, and even although I suppose he was concentrating really hard on the complex step sequences it would have lifted that performance skyward! Harry, on the remote chance you are reading this, please show those lovely gnashers of yours and grin for us. The quickstep is supposed to be fun, not torture!
Someone with less reason to smile was James Jordan. I did feel Craig was a bit harsh with Alex when telling her she had taken a massive step backwards with her Charleston rendition, as there wasn’t too much wrong with the dance they performed. It was fun, suitably cooky and had a lot of tricky hat swapping throughout the routine (I was waiting for this to go horribly wrong, so ‘hats off’ to them!). That said, I agreed that perhaps it was a little underplayed and didn’t quite go silly enough or have the grossly exaggerated moves you might expect to see. Personality-wise I thought it was right up Alex’s street though.
Robbie got his legs out during his samba. Not the sort of thing you might expect even in a dance where flesh tends to be on display. It sort of swept away the technical aspect of the dance, what there was of it, to the extent that the only thing you could actually remember was the sight of Robbie in football shorts strutting his stuff on the floor. And let’s face it: this is what Ola was after – and it worked. Of the dancers left Robbie’s just about the weakest and frankly any gimmick that keeps them in the contest is a good one. That sounds a bit snarky but it’s not meant to be. At least Robbie looks like he’s having more fun than Harry...
That said, if Harry wants to show his legs in any possible future dances I wouldn’t be objecting!
Ah, our old friend the lamp post is getting a veritable work-out this year! I half expect to see this scene stealing faithful prop wander on to the stage during someone’s salsa routine with ‘hello mum’ strapped to it. It appeared yet again during Chelsee’s Argentine Tango, standing in the background whilst she was ganchoed and gauchoed to death on screen for our edification and delight. Not a bad effort from Chelsee, whose posture somehow didn’t quite seem intimate enough for such an intense and dramatic dance. Len grumbled about it not being powerful enough in terms of creating passion, but I defy anyone who looks like they’ve been forced into a five foot sequin covered sausage skin to convey any sense of raunch...
Anita’s cha cha cha was an odd one to sum up. It felt as if it had been slowed down in deference to her 62 year old legs, which is both considerate yet problematic. The magic of cha cha cha is fast, accurate, bubbly moves. Anita as always acted her way through the dance with aplomb but the slowness of the routine (to Billy Joel’s ‘Uptown Girl’) exposed every one of her technical limitations. Choreographically it was actually fairly content packed but that almost didn’t matter because it never really had enough energy to get the thing going in the first place. Super sub Brenan, or ‘Rent-A-Pro’ as he has been nicknamed, managed to steer Anita through the dance although it remained to be seen if he could get her through to the next round.
Holly managed to give a rather sultry performance in an unusual take on the Foxtrot, which is as I have already well documented (okay, moaned about repeatedly) the most boring dance in the world. If anyone actually manages to do an interesting take on the Foxtrot I sit up and take notice. It was strangely powerful, showy and quite sexy too: not things you expect! Her performance was more dynamic than it had been previously and she seemed quite energised. Artem didn’t quite look as chipper, and I wondered if his back was still troubling him. And that red dress: wow!
NB: The dress was worn by Holly, not Artem. I realise I probably should have structured my sentences a little more carefully...
Jason overacted beautifully in his Charleston, bringing the right amount of goofiness to proceedings. He looked as if he was channelling Bertie Wooster! If nerds could dance, this is what you would see! Certainly one of the better Charleston’s over the years, although not quite up there with Chris and Ola or indeed Chelsee and Pasha from this season. But what I did like best was the fact that I don’t think we’ve ever really got to see such a fun side of Kristina before, and I honestly thought this was the best I’ve seen her dance on the show. There were a few mistakes from Jason, but he really got into character and I think that helped him through to the end.
Unfortunately, the same could not be said for Anita. I personally thought it was a close call between Anita and Robbie as to who should have gone, but to be honest Anita attempted to dance rather than parading around in football shorts to try and get some votes so I feel she probably went one week too soon. Not that the sight of Anita in football shorts would necessarily have garnered her any extra points.
I was sorry that she went out whilst Robin lay stuck at home with his poorly foot in the air, unable to be with his partner when he would have most wanted to be, and I felt sorry for Brendan too who would have felt a little saddened at not being able to get Anita through to the next round. Anita herself, in the bottom two this time with Holly, was gracious enough to thank both of her men for her fabulous Strictly experience. Enthusiasm’s an infectious thing, and if nothing else Anita will go down as one of the most pleasant and delightful people that the show has seen. She can hold her head up high.
And hubby Brian might be able to have conversations that don’t revolve around dance once again!
*I'm glossing over the swingathon. It was fun, it was manic and Harry won. Everyone looked utterly shagged out at the end, and nobody knocked anyone over (which was what I had been waiting to see).
Must try harder next year, guys!!!
I’m not equating the show to an explosive shower of pachyderm wee but it would be fair to say that Strictly works better on a small scale. You don’t want to get too far away from its studio bound Saturday teatime roots: that’s where its charm lies. This was part of the reason I thought the show made a huge return to form this week, with Harry falling a biscuit crumb short of perfection with his quickstep. I was going to talk about that later but seeing as how I’ve mentioned him here I may as well say ‘well done’ to him for a superb performance. Great choreography from Aliona, some complicated steps chucked at the boy and he managed it really well. But I sided with Craig on the ‘9’ and for one reason only.
There’s no question in my mind now, after that dance, Harry is the best dancer of the remaining celebs. But I do wish he’d cracked a smile! It would have lit that performance up like a Christmas tree, and even although I suppose he was concentrating really hard on the complex step sequences it would have lifted that performance skyward! Harry, on the remote chance you are reading this, please show those lovely gnashers of yours and grin for us. The quickstep is supposed to be fun, not torture!
Someone with less reason to smile was James Jordan. I did feel Craig was a bit harsh with Alex when telling her she had taken a massive step backwards with her Charleston rendition, as there wasn’t too much wrong with the dance they performed. It was fun, suitably cooky and had a lot of tricky hat swapping throughout the routine (I was waiting for this to go horribly wrong, so ‘hats off’ to them!). That said, I agreed that perhaps it was a little underplayed and didn’t quite go silly enough or have the grossly exaggerated moves you might expect to see. Personality-wise I thought it was right up Alex’s street though.
Robbie got his legs out during his samba. Not the sort of thing you might expect even in a dance where flesh tends to be on display. It sort of swept away the technical aspect of the dance, what there was of it, to the extent that the only thing you could actually remember was the sight of Robbie in football shorts strutting his stuff on the floor. And let’s face it: this is what Ola was after – and it worked. Of the dancers left Robbie’s just about the weakest and frankly any gimmick that keeps them in the contest is a good one. That sounds a bit snarky but it’s not meant to be. At least Robbie looks like he’s having more fun than Harry...
That said, if Harry wants to show his legs in any possible future dances I wouldn’t be objecting!
Ah, our old friend the lamp post is getting a veritable work-out this year! I half expect to see this scene stealing faithful prop wander on to the stage during someone’s salsa routine with ‘hello mum’ strapped to it. It appeared yet again during Chelsee’s Argentine Tango, standing in the background whilst she was ganchoed and gauchoed to death on screen for our edification and delight. Not a bad effort from Chelsee, whose posture somehow didn’t quite seem intimate enough for such an intense and dramatic dance. Len grumbled about it not being powerful enough in terms of creating passion, but I defy anyone who looks like they’ve been forced into a five foot sequin covered sausage skin to convey any sense of raunch...
Anita’s cha cha cha was an odd one to sum up. It felt as if it had been slowed down in deference to her 62 year old legs, which is both considerate yet problematic. The magic of cha cha cha is fast, accurate, bubbly moves. Anita as always acted her way through the dance with aplomb but the slowness of the routine (to Billy Joel’s ‘Uptown Girl’) exposed every one of her technical limitations. Choreographically it was actually fairly content packed but that almost didn’t matter because it never really had enough energy to get the thing going in the first place. Super sub Brenan, or ‘Rent-A-Pro’ as he has been nicknamed, managed to steer Anita through the dance although it remained to be seen if he could get her through to the next round.
Holly managed to give a rather sultry performance in an unusual take on the Foxtrot, which is as I have already well documented (okay, moaned about repeatedly) the most boring dance in the world. If anyone actually manages to do an interesting take on the Foxtrot I sit up and take notice. It was strangely powerful, showy and quite sexy too: not things you expect! Her performance was more dynamic than it had been previously and she seemed quite energised. Artem didn’t quite look as chipper, and I wondered if his back was still troubling him. And that red dress: wow!
NB: The dress was worn by Holly, not Artem. I realise I probably should have structured my sentences a little more carefully...
Jason overacted beautifully in his Charleston, bringing the right amount of goofiness to proceedings. He looked as if he was channelling Bertie Wooster! If nerds could dance, this is what you would see! Certainly one of the better Charleston’s over the years, although not quite up there with Chris and Ola or indeed Chelsee and Pasha from this season. But what I did like best was the fact that I don’t think we’ve ever really got to see such a fun side of Kristina before, and I honestly thought this was the best I’ve seen her dance on the show. There were a few mistakes from Jason, but he really got into character and I think that helped him through to the end.
Unfortunately, the same could not be said for Anita. I personally thought it was a close call between Anita and Robbie as to who should have gone, but to be honest Anita attempted to dance rather than parading around in football shorts to try and get some votes so I feel she probably went one week too soon. Not that the sight of Anita in football shorts would necessarily have garnered her any extra points.
I was sorry that she went out whilst Robin lay stuck at home with his poorly foot in the air, unable to be with his partner when he would have most wanted to be, and I felt sorry for Brendan too who would have felt a little saddened at not being able to get Anita through to the next round. Anita herself, in the bottom two this time with Holly, was gracious enough to thank both of her men for her fabulous Strictly experience. Enthusiasm’s an infectious thing, and if nothing else Anita will go down as one of the most pleasant and delightful people that the show has seen. She can hold her head up high.
And hubby Brian might be able to have conversations that don’t revolve around dance once again!
*I'm glossing over the swingathon. It was fun, it was manic and Harry won. Everyone looked utterly shagged out at the end, and nobody knocked anyone over (which was what I had been waiting to see).
Must try harder next year, guys!!!
Saturday 26 November 2011
Strictly: Week Eight and Results Show 20/11/11
Ever get the feeling that sometimes you can have more style than substance?
I quite enjoyed the atmosphere of Strictly’s foray into Wembley, but not one of the dances actually made me go ‘wow!’ When you go for glitter and thrills on a large scale there’s always the danger that it may feel overstretched. I think the problem on Saturday was that hardly any of the dances felt suitable to the large arena the celebs and dancers were presented with.
Take Harry’s Salsa, for example. Nice lifts, I have to admit it. Not that I am a fan of lifts in the salsa, because it makes it feel like a glorified show dance. Personally, I thought the routine had hardly any salsa in it at all, but when you are hamstringed by using a music track that is as Latin American as a croissant, you’re on a sticky wicket from the start. Despite the fact that I didn’t really enjoy it that much I could see why Aliona went for those wonderful lifts: when you have an arena to play to you have to catch the audience’s attention. Salsa’s a party dance, but it’s usually also pretty contained and not really suited to the bigger stage. I can’t really criticise her decisions. I thought that what Harry did dance he did very well indeed, albeit it possibly without the required amount of snake-hipped fluidity need for the Salsa.
Robbie, I felt, was one of the poorer dancers on the night even although the energy he always puts into his dances is amazing. He opened the show; he played to the crowd and received a standing ovation into the bargain. Just a pity he didn’t actually dance that well. Like Harry, Robbie’s Salsa suffered from the same problems. Not enough Salsa content. Unlike Harry his lifts didn’t go quite as well, and the leapfrog move over Ola looked more than a bit dodgy. When Ola decides to wheel out her tried and tested weapon – the cat suit – you know it’s time to worry. A tactical plea for votes? The cynic in me did wonder!
Anita always looks like she’s enjoying herself and I think that is the secret to her success: she will most likely sweep up the casual voters with her sense of fun and bubbly performances, who may well be prepared to overlook her lack of technical prowess or her posture issues. Her samba was almost a direct representation of her faults and her assets, in that it exposed all the weaknesses that she possesses in a way that some of the other dances did not, but also highlighted her sheer joie de vivre. In a way I think the smaller studio would have suited this dance better, as the samba needs to travel around the floor to look at its best, and you’re always going to be swallowed up in a cavernous arena like Wembley. I can only imagine Anita has another week or two at best in terms of remaining on the show, so it was at least great to see her still enjoying every moment of the experience, even if ‘Come On Eileen’ ranks as one of the most head-scratching choices for a Samba in the show’s 9 series history...
Alex, ironically, seemed to thrive in the arena. The Tango always seems quite dramatic and contained, and so they stuck to a smaller area without looking like a couple of goldfish in a bowl. Certainly it worked for them, and as a result she and James picked up their first 9s of the series for what was a dramatic and passionate dance. At times I wish Alex had expressed this a little more in her face, but the footwork was good, her acting was subtly haughty, and they well deserved to be in that joint top position on the board. I bet they never thought for a moment that they would ever achieve that when they started this series!
Chelsee managed to strut her stuff and shake her necessary bits in her samba without ever looking lost and overwhelmed by the vast space around her. It wasn’t her best dance by any means but she managed to look confident, and the solo spot at the start showed she could work the audience on her own, which is no easy feat. I’m not sure how much self-belief Chelsee actually has but she usually manages to turn it on for show night, which is a huge asset. If you can survive a space like Wembley and the many more thousands watching you perform live, the intimacy of the BBC studios should be a doddle.
Jason’s Jive felt slightly overwhelmed, like Harry’s Salsa and Anita’s Samba. Everyone was bigging up the dance before hand on ITT, saying it would rival Jill’s iconic Jive (the music for which was pinched and used for Harry’s Salsa – a most unsuitable track if you’ll permit me to say), and that it would surely pick up 10s. The anticipation for the performance was immense.
And who’s to say it wouldn’t have got 10s? Once again Kristina showed why she’s an exceptional choreographer when given a partner she doesn’t have to disguise by highlighting herself to cover celeb shortcomings. All was going quite smoothly until the last third of the dance, where Jason ended up on the wrong foot and basically hopped up and down on one leg like a man with a mousetrap stuck to his big toe until he caught Kristina up again! Unintentionally hilarious: I laughed like a drain whilst feeling a tad sorry for Jason’s obvious disappointment at stuffing up an otherwise good performance. But, that’s live TV for you – you can never tell what’s going to go wrong.
I can’t say I enjoyed Holly’s dance. I’m not sure why: for me the choreography seemed overcomplicated and finicky. At times Holly struggled to keep up with Artem in their Quick Step. Possibly it was a little too swift! Slightly ragged and scrappy, Holly looked as if she was struggling pretty much throughout. It’s such a shame, really, as Holly does have the ability to do well but she is so inconsistent that you never quite know what you are going to get with her.
Then of course, there’s Russell. His ambition was to get to Wembley: and he managed his dream! Fired out of a canon at the start of the routine, jiving to ‘Reach For The Stars’ when finally finding his feet again...could you think of a better way for Russell to bow out of the show?
Unfortunately for Russell that’s exactly what he did, but he didn’t look too sad about it, and in fact appeared to accept that it was his time to leave. Holly, in the bottom two with Russell, didn’t look very surprised to find herself where she did. She was in that dreaded danger zone on the board, and the predicted backlash to Anita being in that position the week before meant that many people must have picked up the phone to keep her in, this sealing Holly’s fate into the bargain. Maybe it will give her some determination to go out there and dance her socks off (and give her a well-meaning boot up the arse at the same time).
He’s been a good sport, has Russell, and as enthusiastic as anyone I’ve seen over the last 8 years or so. It was lovely to see such a fabulous partnership with Flavia. It’ll be strange not to see Russell there next week, looking all shiny and smiley, like the Mister Men’s Mr Happy in a giant, gold tuxedo. But in some ways Russell’s departure feels like a watershed. Now the contest hots up. The serious contenders are all there at the sharp end.
Who will go next week? Will the public continue to keep Anita in? Will Robbie have the fan base to see him safe? Will Alex find herself slipping into the danger area of the board? Or will it be a shock result?
With so many celebs at the same level, pretty much anything goes from this point on!
I quite enjoyed the atmosphere of Strictly’s foray into Wembley, but not one of the dances actually made me go ‘wow!’ When you go for glitter and thrills on a large scale there’s always the danger that it may feel overstretched. I think the problem on Saturday was that hardly any of the dances felt suitable to the large arena the celebs and dancers were presented with.
Take Harry’s Salsa, for example. Nice lifts, I have to admit it. Not that I am a fan of lifts in the salsa, because it makes it feel like a glorified show dance. Personally, I thought the routine had hardly any salsa in it at all, but when you are hamstringed by using a music track that is as Latin American as a croissant, you’re on a sticky wicket from the start. Despite the fact that I didn’t really enjoy it that much I could see why Aliona went for those wonderful lifts: when you have an arena to play to you have to catch the audience’s attention. Salsa’s a party dance, but it’s usually also pretty contained and not really suited to the bigger stage. I can’t really criticise her decisions. I thought that what Harry did dance he did very well indeed, albeit it possibly without the required amount of snake-hipped fluidity need for the Salsa.
Robbie, I felt, was one of the poorer dancers on the night even although the energy he always puts into his dances is amazing. He opened the show; he played to the crowd and received a standing ovation into the bargain. Just a pity he didn’t actually dance that well. Like Harry, Robbie’s Salsa suffered from the same problems. Not enough Salsa content. Unlike Harry his lifts didn’t go quite as well, and the leapfrog move over Ola looked more than a bit dodgy. When Ola decides to wheel out her tried and tested weapon – the cat suit – you know it’s time to worry. A tactical plea for votes? The cynic in me did wonder!
Anita always looks like she’s enjoying herself and I think that is the secret to her success: she will most likely sweep up the casual voters with her sense of fun and bubbly performances, who may well be prepared to overlook her lack of technical prowess or her posture issues. Her samba was almost a direct representation of her faults and her assets, in that it exposed all the weaknesses that she possesses in a way that some of the other dances did not, but also highlighted her sheer joie de vivre. In a way I think the smaller studio would have suited this dance better, as the samba needs to travel around the floor to look at its best, and you’re always going to be swallowed up in a cavernous arena like Wembley. I can only imagine Anita has another week or two at best in terms of remaining on the show, so it was at least great to see her still enjoying every moment of the experience, even if ‘Come On Eileen’ ranks as one of the most head-scratching choices for a Samba in the show’s 9 series history...
Alex, ironically, seemed to thrive in the arena. The Tango always seems quite dramatic and contained, and so they stuck to a smaller area without looking like a couple of goldfish in a bowl. Certainly it worked for them, and as a result she and James picked up their first 9s of the series for what was a dramatic and passionate dance. At times I wish Alex had expressed this a little more in her face, but the footwork was good, her acting was subtly haughty, and they well deserved to be in that joint top position on the board. I bet they never thought for a moment that they would ever achieve that when they started this series!
Chelsee managed to strut her stuff and shake her necessary bits in her samba without ever looking lost and overwhelmed by the vast space around her. It wasn’t her best dance by any means but she managed to look confident, and the solo spot at the start showed she could work the audience on her own, which is no easy feat. I’m not sure how much self-belief Chelsee actually has but she usually manages to turn it on for show night, which is a huge asset. If you can survive a space like Wembley and the many more thousands watching you perform live, the intimacy of the BBC studios should be a doddle.
Jason’s Jive felt slightly overwhelmed, like Harry’s Salsa and Anita’s Samba. Everyone was bigging up the dance before hand on ITT, saying it would rival Jill’s iconic Jive (the music for which was pinched and used for Harry’s Salsa – a most unsuitable track if you’ll permit me to say), and that it would surely pick up 10s. The anticipation for the performance was immense.
And who’s to say it wouldn’t have got 10s? Once again Kristina showed why she’s an exceptional choreographer when given a partner she doesn’t have to disguise by highlighting herself to cover celeb shortcomings. All was going quite smoothly until the last third of the dance, where Jason ended up on the wrong foot and basically hopped up and down on one leg like a man with a mousetrap stuck to his big toe until he caught Kristina up again! Unintentionally hilarious: I laughed like a drain whilst feeling a tad sorry for Jason’s obvious disappointment at stuffing up an otherwise good performance. But, that’s live TV for you – you can never tell what’s going to go wrong.
I can’t say I enjoyed Holly’s dance. I’m not sure why: for me the choreography seemed overcomplicated and finicky. At times Holly struggled to keep up with Artem in their Quick Step. Possibly it was a little too swift! Slightly ragged and scrappy, Holly looked as if she was struggling pretty much throughout. It’s such a shame, really, as Holly does have the ability to do well but she is so inconsistent that you never quite know what you are going to get with her.
Then of course, there’s Russell. His ambition was to get to Wembley: and he managed his dream! Fired out of a canon at the start of the routine, jiving to ‘Reach For The Stars’ when finally finding his feet again...could you think of a better way for Russell to bow out of the show?
Unfortunately for Russell that’s exactly what he did, but he didn’t look too sad about it, and in fact appeared to accept that it was his time to leave. Holly, in the bottom two with Russell, didn’t look very surprised to find herself where she did. She was in that dreaded danger zone on the board, and the predicted backlash to Anita being in that position the week before meant that many people must have picked up the phone to keep her in, this sealing Holly’s fate into the bargain. Maybe it will give her some determination to go out there and dance her socks off (and give her a well-meaning boot up the arse at the same time).
He’s been a good sport, has Russell, and as enthusiastic as anyone I’ve seen over the last 8 years or so. It was lovely to see such a fabulous partnership with Flavia. It’ll be strange not to see Russell there next week, looking all shiny and smiley, like the Mister Men’s Mr Happy in a giant, gold tuxedo. But in some ways Russell’s departure feels like a watershed. Now the contest hots up. The serious contenders are all there at the sharp end.
Who will go next week? Will the public continue to keep Anita in? Will Robbie have the fan base to see him safe? Will Alex find herself slipping into the danger area of the board? Or will it be a shock result?
With so many celebs at the same level, pretty much anything goes from this point on!
Saturday 19 November 2011
Strictly: Week Se-vennnn and results show 13/11/11
It’s always a bit of a relief when the field is culled significantly. It reduces the time I have to spend thinking of pertinent comments for each contestant. But then they do something cruel by making the poor sods do two dances (as if they weren’t knackered enough) and I have to start banging my head repeatedly against the desk to make the words come out...
The one aspect where I feel the BBC has made changes not necessarily for the best, other than turning the show into glitzy propsville, is that there are so few of the celebs performing the same dance each week. I miss the old days, where you either danced a certain Latin dance or a specific ballroom. It was only later on in the series when it became ‘anything goes’. As a result it is so much more difficult to compare one performance with another.
This time however we actually got a couple of memorable Argentine Tangos to contrast with each other, more’s the pity for Anita. That makes it sound as if Anita’s dance was dreadful and it quite clearly was the opposite. Her dance had drive, passion and theatricality without it being an OTT caricature but she didn’t have the sharpness of performance or the energy that Harry’s Argentine Tango did. Whilst the choreography of both routines was fabulously tailored towards the skills of both dancers the precision of Harry’s footwork was always going to carry the day.
Controversial note here. I actually agreed with Len. There was a tiny degree of fire missing from Harry’s dance. Nothing major, and in my opinion not worth the 8 that Len awarded him: it was a 9 from my point of view. But I understood where Mr Goodman was coming from. I always feel that whilst Harry is infinitely watchable he rarely seems to be able to inhabit a character or display the required amount of emotion. It’s the one thing that for me at the moment is stopping me picking up the phone to vote for him. If he could just take it up one notch...
Vernon Kay (Mr Tess Daly) tweeted shortly afterwards to say that Harry’s AT wasn’t remotely at the same level of Ramps and Karen’s dance back in 2006. I have to agree: Mark led that dance so well, and Harry didn’t quite do that to the same level. It does seem that all ATs are judged retrospectively against that iconic Strictly moment (and usually found lacking)!
The judges’ bickering is starting to get wearisome. I suppose some might think that in these X-Factor days a little controversy goes a long way, but I find it uncomfortable. If Craig disagrees with Len, or Bruno with Len, or if Alesha tells Len he’s jetlagged and grumpy like an overtired toddler without his favourite teddy bear, does it matter? They are all there to give their opinions. I rarely agree with Alesha and find her constant awarding of 10s like they are Scooby snacks utterly ridiculous, but she’s there on the panel to give her opinion. Likewise Craig. Why does Len have to take everything so personally? Being head judge doesn’t necessarily mean he has to be the only one who’s right. Nor does it give him the authority to be rude to Craig.
Please stop it Len. You’re hurting my ears this year. Can we have the nice, kind Mr Goodman back that we used to know and love rather than the Grinch?
He did however spot one thing that I have been wittering away about for weeks. Holly needs to stop looking at the floor when she dances. Given that due to Artem’s back injury she had to train and indeed partner Brendan on the live show she did extremely well with her rumba routine, and I suppose if there’s one dance that you could almost get away with looking coy and bashful then this is the one. Still, you can’t do an entire show looking half-apologetic. It was beautifully choreographed by Artem and goodness knows how frustrating it must have been to sit on the sidelines and watch someone else dance with his partner. Props also to Brendan for stepping in the way he did. There actually seemed to be more connection between Brendan and Holly in that one dance than there had been these last few weeks with Artem.
As for Holly, I guess switching from one man to another must be the dance equivalent of borrowing someone else’s bike and realising you have to adjust the saddle height, the brake tightness, the level of the handlebars...and yet it was one of her better dances. I’m almost beginning to feel sad that she and Brendan weren’t together from the start. If anyone could have stirred her from her laid-back Aussie lethargy then he was certainly the one to do it, as I’m sure Fiona Phillips and countless others can testify!
I personally thought the Jive was James and Alex’s best dance. Like many at first I thought ‘oh god, not dancing with dolls, please’ at the start but thankfully James Junior’s appearances were kept to a minimum. The actual jive was brilliantly good, very fast and without any flagging at all. Craig however seemed to think Alex’s technique was wrong, citing the lack of pointed toes in the kicks and flicks or non-bent ankles in the Lindy Hop sections, thinking it a wishy-washy compromise of middle ground for both. James clearly disagreed but bit his lip this week. Sensible boy. Wembley coming up, don’t you know? All the weak dancers bar one are gone and arguably next in line it’s Alex, Robbie and Anita, all at the same sort of level. Throwing a strop isn’t going to get you to the big W.
Mind you, I know flip-all about technique in dance. I know when something looks wrong or when it looks very right, but I might not be able to say exactly what it is sometimes. In matters like this one expects the judges to point you in the right direction. So, you have Craig saying one thing. Then on ITT you have professional dancer James saying Craig’s got it wrong. Then you have the so-called knowledgeable folks on Digital Spy (everyone’s an expert on there) agreeing with Craig. And then Karen Hardy telling you something else. Confused? I sure as heck am! Someone find out the correct technique for Jive and tell the judges, please! Personally, I go with Karen. I’d be surprised as an ex-world champion of Jive and a professional judge that she doesn’t know what she’s talking about!
I think however we can agree that Alex’s Jive was very entertaining in a bouncy cheerleader way! One question remains however. Who got custody of James Junior???
Audley. Oh dear. I think it became clear very quickly that this wasn’t his dance. In fact I can’t even remember what kind of dance it was supposed to be, which just about says it all! It was something of the Latin variety, although it was definitely less Veni Vidi Vici and more I came, I saw, I shuffled from side to side. Poor Audley: he looked like a big, floundering fish out of water. Albeit one with a giant smile on his face.
Robbie I am finding very odd to sum up. He danced an American Smooth which was quite clearly from a technical point of view by far and away his best dance. And yet I am struggling to see his personality. Conversely in dances where we see his personality, we rarely see his technique. I think we’ve seen one dance so far where he managed to get both right. You could argue that perhaps the ballroom, where he seems far more natural, calls for less personality but there still has to be something! As a result I’m becoming rather bored with him, which is a pity because after that wonderful movie themed dance he did near the start I had high hopes for him. I think he’s got a few weeks left maybe, but then he may be in trouble.
As for Jason, I think he may have more than a few weeks left in him barring shock results. I admire a man who decides that if he’s going to do something he may as well put everything into it and do a good job. I don’t even mind that he’s so serious: you can’t change your personality off the floor just for the sake of a dancing contest. But at least Jason manages (for the most part) to perform and pull something extra out the bag come the performance. It shows better in the Latin dances where he can let himself go and have a bit of fun. The Viennese Waltz was beautiful, and almost brilliant, but again I much prefer the dance to have a fluffier side to it than a serious one. This of course is personal preference and has no bearing on the wonderful dance that they did on the night. As Craig said, it could have been perfect. Could have been. But just not quite...
Jason is great to watch, if a little distracting facially at times. He may even win the title, who knows? But he’s got competition in Harry, and especially Chelsee. She had a wonderful on-screen chemistry with ‘Pash’, even although she does give the unfortunate impression she has the same IQ as a bottle of correction fluid. Probably all put on: it seems, to quote the Kaiser Chief’s ‘Cool to Know Nothing’.
Damn. That song’s going to be in my head all day now.
I confess that she’s rather grown on me, which is surprising because I had convinced myself at the start she was going to be the one most likely to make me want to throw something at the screen. There’s usually one that surprises me every year, and this time it’s Chelsee, so fair play to her. I’m not convinced she enjoyed training for the Foxtrot and I think if you find things difficult or awkward in training, no matter how hard you try to perform in the live show, it’s never going to be brilliant. I personally thought that whilst (barring the slidey bit at the end between Pasha’s legs that didn’t really scream Foxtrot at me) it was a lovely routine that she danced well enough, but somehow it didn’t seem to have her usual stylishness about it. Craig picked up on the hoppy, pogo-stick turn towards the end, which I think everyone spotted.
Oh, except Alesha who gave it a 10. *groans*
Now, bearing in mind I championed the judges rights to score and speak as they pleased, don’t think me a hypocrite if I beg someone to swap Alesha’s 10 paddle with a lolly pop? Or a table tennis bat???
Russell performed in his usual wonderful way, that is to say in the way that only Russell knows how to. It was possibly the most unusual American Smooth you are ever likely to see, danced with customary feeling to ‘I Am What I Am’. Len had the quote of the night, saying ‘I am what I am, you are what you are, and that (the dance) was what it was’, before likening him to a dancing ‘Ferrero Roche’ thanks in no small part to the bling, gold sequined jacket and trousers he changed into half way through!
I don’t really have anything to add, other than I’m beginning to feel that I’ve sort of seen it all now with Russell. Last week I was looking forward to discovering what new angle he and Flavia could bring to the dances, but now I’m kind of feeling that it’s going to be more of the same. I still want him to get to Wembley, though. If there’s ever a stage that was made for Russell Grant’s flamboyant personality then that is the one. Let him go out in a blaze of glory and cheering from the crowds. Or, if he manages to pull something different and entertaining out the bag, let him continue. His enthusiasm for the show certainly isn’t put on, but it’s getting to the stage in the show that occurs every year, where we find ourselves asking if the better dancers should be knocked out by someone who is clearly and infinitesimally weaker, but brings a lot of joy to their routines.
Not surprisingly it was Audley’s turn in the spotlight again. He must have seen it coming a mile off. Slightly surprising was that Anita found herself sharing that unwanted podium position. I say slightly, because Anita had managed to get her best scores for her AT, although I commented to a few friends before the results that she was in a very dodgy position on the board where everyone would assume she was safe and vote for other people. I suppose someone’s got to fill that spot though, and it could just as well have been Anita as anyone else.
As predicted however it was the gentlemanly Audley who was finally given the boot. Which is quite funny when you think of it: I’m sure if you’d told him that at some point in his career he’d be KO’d by Anita Dobson he’d have looked at you as if you were missing your community carer! Kudos to Audley, who was heard to say he’d have stepped aside if Anita had gone out so she could be reinstated. Winning always becomes Mr Harrison, but even when he loses he does it with magnanimous grace and a large smile. Despite his lack of dancing ability, I rather think Strictly will miss him.
The one aspect where I feel the BBC has made changes not necessarily for the best, other than turning the show into glitzy propsville, is that there are so few of the celebs performing the same dance each week. I miss the old days, where you either danced a certain Latin dance or a specific ballroom. It was only later on in the series when it became ‘anything goes’. As a result it is so much more difficult to compare one performance with another.
This time however we actually got a couple of memorable Argentine Tangos to contrast with each other, more’s the pity for Anita. That makes it sound as if Anita’s dance was dreadful and it quite clearly was the opposite. Her dance had drive, passion and theatricality without it being an OTT caricature but she didn’t have the sharpness of performance or the energy that Harry’s Argentine Tango did. Whilst the choreography of both routines was fabulously tailored towards the skills of both dancers the precision of Harry’s footwork was always going to carry the day.
Controversial note here. I actually agreed with Len. There was a tiny degree of fire missing from Harry’s dance. Nothing major, and in my opinion not worth the 8 that Len awarded him: it was a 9 from my point of view. But I understood where Mr Goodman was coming from. I always feel that whilst Harry is infinitely watchable he rarely seems to be able to inhabit a character or display the required amount of emotion. It’s the one thing that for me at the moment is stopping me picking up the phone to vote for him. If he could just take it up one notch...
Vernon Kay (Mr Tess Daly) tweeted shortly afterwards to say that Harry’s AT wasn’t remotely at the same level of Ramps and Karen’s dance back in 2006. I have to agree: Mark led that dance so well, and Harry didn’t quite do that to the same level. It does seem that all ATs are judged retrospectively against that iconic Strictly moment (and usually found lacking)!
The judges’ bickering is starting to get wearisome. I suppose some might think that in these X-Factor days a little controversy goes a long way, but I find it uncomfortable. If Craig disagrees with Len, or Bruno with Len, or if Alesha tells Len he’s jetlagged and grumpy like an overtired toddler without his favourite teddy bear, does it matter? They are all there to give their opinions. I rarely agree with Alesha and find her constant awarding of 10s like they are Scooby snacks utterly ridiculous, but she’s there on the panel to give her opinion. Likewise Craig. Why does Len have to take everything so personally? Being head judge doesn’t necessarily mean he has to be the only one who’s right. Nor does it give him the authority to be rude to Craig.
Please stop it Len. You’re hurting my ears this year. Can we have the nice, kind Mr Goodman back that we used to know and love rather than the Grinch?
He did however spot one thing that I have been wittering away about for weeks. Holly needs to stop looking at the floor when she dances. Given that due to Artem’s back injury she had to train and indeed partner Brendan on the live show she did extremely well with her rumba routine, and I suppose if there’s one dance that you could almost get away with looking coy and bashful then this is the one. Still, you can’t do an entire show looking half-apologetic. It was beautifully choreographed by Artem and goodness knows how frustrating it must have been to sit on the sidelines and watch someone else dance with his partner. Props also to Brendan for stepping in the way he did. There actually seemed to be more connection between Brendan and Holly in that one dance than there had been these last few weeks with Artem.
As for Holly, I guess switching from one man to another must be the dance equivalent of borrowing someone else’s bike and realising you have to adjust the saddle height, the brake tightness, the level of the handlebars...and yet it was one of her better dances. I’m almost beginning to feel sad that she and Brendan weren’t together from the start. If anyone could have stirred her from her laid-back Aussie lethargy then he was certainly the one to do it, as I’m sure Fiona Phillips and countless others can testify!
I personally thought the Jive was James and Alex’s best dance. Like many at first I thought ‘oh god, not dancing with dolls, please’ at the start but thankfully James Junior’s appearances were kept to a minimum. The actual jive was brilliantly good, very fast and without any flagging at all. Craig however seemed to think Alex’s technique was wrong, citing the lack of pointed toes in the kicks and flicks or non-bent ankles in the Lindy Hop sections, thinking it a wishy-washy compromise of middle ground for both. James clearly disagreed but bit his lip this week. Sensible boy. Wembley coming up, don’t you know? All the weak dancers bar one are gone and arguably next in line it’s Alex, Robbie and Anita, all at the same sort of level. Throwing a strop isn’t going to get you to the big W.
Mind you, I know flip-all about technique in dance. I know when something looks wrong or when it looks very right, but I might not be able to say exactly what it is sometimes. In matters like this one expects the judges to point you in the right direction. So, you have Craig saying one thing. Then on ITT you have professional dancer James saying Craig’s got it wrong. Then you have the so-called knowledgeable folks on Digital Spy (everyone’s an expert on there) agreeing with Craig. And then Karen Hardy telling you something else. Confused? I sure as heck am! Someone find out the correct technique for Jive and tell the judges, please! Personally, I go with Karen. I’d be surprised as an ex-world champion of Jive and a professional judge that she doesn’t know what she’s talking about!
I think however we can agree that Alex’s Jive was very entertaining in a bouncy cheerleader way! One question remains however. Who got custody of James Junior???
Audley. Oh dear. I think it became clear very quickly that this wasn’t his dance. In fact I can’t even remember what kind of dance it was supposed to be, which just about says it all! It was something of the Latin variety, although it was definitely less Veni Vidi Vici and more I came, I saw, I shuffled from side to side. Poor Audley: he looked like a big, floundering fish out of water. Albeit one with a giant smile on his face.
Robbie I am finding very odd to sum up. He danced an American Smooth which was quite clearly from a technical point of view by far and away his best dance. And yet I am struggling to see his personality. Conversely in dances where we see his personality, we rarely see his technique. I think we’ve seen one dance so far where he managed to get both right. You could argue that perhaps the ballroom, where he seems far more natural, calls for less personality but there still has to be something! As a result I’m becoming rather bored with him, which is a pity because after that wonderful movie themed dance he did near the start I had high hopes for him. I think he’s got a few weeks left maybe, but then he may be in trouble.
As for Jason, I think he may have more than a few weeks left in him barring shock results. I admire a man who decides that if he’s going to do something he may as well put everything into it and do a good job. I don’t even mind that he’s so serious: you can’t change your personality off the floor just for the sake of a dancing contest. But at least Jason manages (for the most part) to perform and pull something extra out the bag come the performance. It shows better in the Latin dances where he can let himself go and have a bit of fun. The Viennese Waltz was beautiful, and almost brilliant, but again I much prefer the dance to have a fluffier side to it than a serious one. This of course is personal preference and has no bearing on the wonderful dance that they did on the night. As Craig said, it could have been perfect. Could have been. But just not quite...
Jason is great to watch, if a little distracting facially at times. He may even win the title, who knows? But he’s got competition in Harry, and especially Chelsee. She had a wonderful on-screen chemistry with ‘Pash’, even although she does give the unfortunate impression she has the same IQ as a bottle of correction fluid. Probably all put on: it seems, to quote the Kaiser Chief’s ‘Cool to Know Nothing’.
Damn. That song’s going to be in my head all day now.
I confess that she’s rather grown on me, which is surprising because I had convinced myself at the start she was going to be the one most likely to make me want to throw something at the screen. There’s usually one that surprises me every year, and this time it’s Chelsee, so fair play to her. I’m not convinced she enjoyed training for the Foxtrot and I think if you find things difficult or awkward in training, no matter how hard you try to perform in the live show, it’s never going to be brilliant. I personally thought that whilst (barring the slidey bit at the end between Pasha’s legs that didn’t really scream Foxtrot at me) it was a lovely routine that she danced well enough, but somehow it didn’t seem to have her usual stylishness about it. Craig picked up on the hoppy, pogo-stick turn towards the end, which I think everyone spotted.
Oh, except Alesha who gave it a 10. *groans*
Now, bearing in mind I championed the judges rights to score and speak as they pleased, don’t think me a hypocrite if I beg someone to swap Alesha’s 10 paddle with a lolly pop? Or a table tennis bat???
Russell performed in his usual wonderful way, that is to say in the way that only Russell knows how to. It was possibly the most unusual American Smooth you are ever likely to see, danced with customary feeling to ‘I Am What I Am’. Len had the quote of the night, saying ‘I am what I am, you are what you are, and that (the dance) was what it was’, before likening him to a dancing ‘Ferrero Roche’ thanks in no small part to the bling, gold sequined jacket and trousers he changed into half way through!
I don’t really have anything to add, other than I’m beginning to feel that I’ve sort of seen it all now with Russell. Last week I was looking forward to discovering what new angle he and Flavia could bring to the dances, but now I’m kind of feeling that it’s going to be more of the same. I still want him to get to Wembley, though. If there’s ever a stage that was made for Russell Grant’s flamboyant personality then that is the one. Let him go out in a blaze of glory and cheering from the crowds. Or, if he manages to pull something different and entertaining out the bag, let him continue. His enthusiasm for the show certainly isn’t put on, but it’s getting to the stage in the show that occurs every year, where we find ourselves asking if the better dancers should be knocked out by someone who is clearly and infinitesimally weaker, but brings a lot of joy to their routines.
Not surprisingly it was Audley’s turn in the spotlight again. He must have seen it coming a mile off. Slightly surprising was that Anita found herself sharing that unwanted podium position. I say slightly, because Anita had managed to get her best scores for her AT, although I commented to a few friends before the results that she was in a very dodgy position on the board where everyone would assume she was safe and vote for other people. I suppose someone’s got to fill that spot though, and it could just as well have been Anita as anyone else.
As predicted however it was the gentlemanly Audley who was finally given the boot. Which is quite funny when you think of it: I’m sure if you’d told him that at some point in his career he’d be KO’d by Anita Dobson he’d have looked at you as if you were missing your community carer! Kudos to Audley, who was heard to say he’d have stepped aside if Anita had gone out so she could be reinstated. Winning always becomes Mr Harrison, but even when he loses he does it with magnanimous grace and a large smile. Despite his lack of dancing ability, I rather think Strictly will miss him.
Saturday 12 November 2011
Strictly: Week Six and results show 06/11/11
And so we’re half way, or very nearly so. Gosh, that went quickly didn’t it?
You can sense the remaining contenders jockeying for position as they face up to the possibility of a trip to Wembley in a few weeks time, should they stay in. It’s like a whole brigade of politicians dusting off their rosettes pre-election time, endeavouring to affix their best, most winning smiles to their faces. “Vote for me! I’m having the time of my life!” Not to mention “It’s not about the winning, it’s the taking part!”
And of course “I just want to get to Wembley!” It’s the new “I want to get to Blackpool”, don’t you know!
What you don’t see behind the smiles, the laughter and the camaraderie is the blood, sweat and tears. The sore feet, the blisters, the occasional tantrum. The injuries! I reckon that’s why sports people do so well on Strictly. They have the stamina to last to the end, and are used to pushing pain to the side in a desperate bid to reach that finishing line.
Whether Artem has reached the end of his own line is a matter for some debate. At some point during late rehearsals he managed to injure his back. Now, you can’t mess around with spines. They’re the very devil to sort out. That he managed to dance with Holly on the live show given that he had a fracture to his back says a lot for his nerve and dedication, although possibly not for his common sense. And a very good jive it was too, if unconventional. Artem really likes finding new ways to breathe life into dances: he rarely does the obvious. Holly, in matching pin-stripes, braces and spats executed the steps exceptionally well given the fact that in the rehearsal she’d had to train by herself. Sir Brucie stepped in briefly (and looked remarkably good!) but I guess when all is said and done, it’s perhaps not the same as training with your dance partner. All in all a good, quirky take on the jive, although I wish to god Holly would LOOK UP WHEN DANCING! Bashful jiving is not really what it’s about. There was more energy from her, but she always looks so apologetic!
If Holly has the demeanour of a partly comatose sloth, poor Artem looked as if he was in desperate need of some seriously strong pain killers. I think someone was waiting in the audience with a tranquiliser dart to put him out of his pain.
Looks like it missed and hit Holly instead.
Talking of the audience, nice to see Mr Ramps having a watch from the sidelines: no doubt relieved not to be up on the floor shaking his hips! I wonder if ex-strictly people ever have flashbacks to performing. Personally I think I would have been traumatised: first few bars of the theme music would have me scurrying behind the sofa with a pillow over each ear, just like I did when a child watching Doctor Who on a Saturday evening! But I guess that’s the allure of the show if you do well: it may leave terrifying scars but at the same time the people that you work with and the pride in being associated with something so loved must be utterly irresistible. Maybe, when the fake tan gets in your blood, you can’t get rid of it!
A word about the judges. Tonight, just for one night, we got rid of Len. I’m ambivalent to Len, to be honest. I think he needs to be there, but if he’s going to sit and do his best impression of Oscar the grouch from Sesame Street then frankly he can spend the whole show in his trash can as far as I am concerned. Please, could all the celebs and pros not cheese off Uncle Len? I like the Len who could pickle his walnuts in joy, not the one who looks as if his walnuts have been whipped...
Craig I confess to liking. There are times when I think he’s morphing into Gordon Brittas but again, if we could have the picky, acerbic yet constructive Craig rather than the one who delivers one-word critiques that make the celebs feel like they’re about to puke on his desk with fear then that would probably be more helpful. Although arguably not as entertaining.
Bruno I would like to retain, but only if he can be put in a straight jacket until he learns to sit up nicely in his chair. I know a lot of Italian people are expressive and constantly need to flourish their arms and assorted body parts but he does seem to have become excessively demented as the years have gone by. We have Felliway plug-ins to calm our cats in times of stress. There must be something similar for Bruno, surely?
Alesha’s role is to empathise and give out lots of unmerited 10s. She’s a bit hit or miss on the first, but she’s managing the latter quite nicely.
Uncle Len was replaced for the evening by Jennifer ‘Dirty Dancing’ Grey. As films go this one was pretty iconic, and her own winning stint on America’s version of Strictly gave her, like Alesha, a certain insight into what it was like to suffer in the name of public entertainment and public profile-raising. This brand of empathy manifested by turning itself into a paddle with the number ‘8’ on it. My conclusion from Jennifer’s brief stint on Strictly was that she seemed like a lovely person who had as few clues as to how to score a dance as Alesha ‘decimus maximus’ Dixon...
In fairness to Alesha, she didn’t give a single 10 during the show. And the reason for that was that, strangely enough, everything was littered with mistakes to the extent that not even she could whip out that big one-zero. Not even Harry Judd, a man who normally has both Bruno and Alesha fluttering their eyelashes from behind their desk, could work his pectoral magic in a samba that seemed just a tad too...antiseptic. It wasn’t a bad effort, and for the most part it was all there save for a few dodgy Voltas where his bounce action looked like a man on a pneumatic drill, but it’s the one dance where you have to just say ‘hang it all’ and channel Carmen Miranda! If you’re a bloke and you find the gaping, chest exposing v-neck seem as wide as the Grand Canyon, the steps too camp and the bounce action as difficult to control as wrestling with a giant inflatable, believe me it’s going to show. How many years has this show been going? And how many decent male sambas have there been? I think I can count about three!
And yes, Ramps’ samba was the best before anyone asks.
Credit to Aliona this week for giving Harry lots of good content! Someone else who always gets a fair amount to do is Russell, but I’m not sure that people see that. Possibly after the antics on the bull at the start of the campest, cutest, geekiest, most hilarious Paso you are likely to see you were even less likely to spot it! I’m not sure how long Russell and Flavia will stay in now that (as one of my friends wickedly put it) the detritus has been removed but I do hope they manage a few more weeks, as I want to see what other ingenious takes on dances Flavia and Russell have up their flamboyant sleeves!
The two Charlestons were the stars of the show. Chelsee and Pasha’s dance was an absolute triumph of choreography and storytelling, whilst being quite complex technically. Craig spotted something that I did, in that Chelsee had not only mastered the hands but also the head moves as well. And whilst Chelsee sparkled and shone, Anita too mastered her dance with consummate skill. It perhaps missed the odd trick or two in the routine, and there were one or two timing issues, but the style of the dance suited Anita’s sense of theatricality. Here she could act to her heart’s content without being lampooned for looking frenetic and ever so slightly dotty!
I guess that time she spent doing ‘Play Away’ in the 1970s must have paid off! If you can cope with that, you can just about handle anything...
Ah, now here I agree with Alesha on something because I was actually quite bored with Robbie’s routine as well. Actually, what was it? I can’t remember...I think it was a waltz? Of all the ballroom dances the waltz is one that I think is potentially open to the most innovative choreography, and (this isn’t a pop at Ola, who I like) I found that it didn’t really seem to do much for me. Not that I’m saying all waltzes have to be romantic and fluffy, but a melancholic waltz just didn’t hit the spot for me. I guess it’s that old chestnut of different strokes for different folks.
It is sad to see how dispirited a celeb can get when they feel they’ve done well, walk over to the judges with high hopes for great scores, only to have their performance dismissed as lukewarm and inoffensive. But for once I was kind of the judge’s side. Sorry Robbie!
Audley was another one who fell in to that category. He produced the sort of Viennese Waltz that you would expect from a big, friendly giant: sweet, endearing yet ultimately not very delicate. At times he seemed as stop-start as my sister’s last car (which conked out just seconds after she got it to the place she had sold it to). It wasn’t so much the sickly marshmallow of a dance you expect with a VW but rather the Stay Puft Marshmallow man from Ghostbusters...
My one problem with Lulu is that she doesn’t really ‘perform’ a dance, with the exception of last week’s Paso. What we see is Lulu dancing, or going from step to step...yes, she may be having a good time (or not as the case may be) but there’s no real sense of drama or acting, which is a shame because if you can’t put on a show you may as well be dancing round a handbag at a disco on a Friday night. Arlene called it right, many years back. The one who will win will be the one who masters steps, technique and performance. And despite the gamest and pluckiest of efforts it was clearly never going to be Lulu. Her tango with Brendan had a lot to like about it, although like so many others it had mistakes (including one glaring one), but as soon as they descended from the stairs the performance sort of ran away from her a little.
Alex and James were really rather good: much better than I thought they were going to be from their training footage. Considering Alex managed to dance the majority of their quickstep with a heel stuck in her dress and still performed well, looking as if she was having a lot of fun in the process, a lot of praise should be accorded to her. The key to Alex, for me, is that she needs to have a character to hide behind – a hook – so that she can find her way into the dance. The more she understands the flavour of each dance and the acting skills required for it the better she has become each week. And the comedy pratfall at the end of the dance where she and James hit the floor on their backsides was up there with my favourite Strictly moments!
And then to Jason. In training he looked rather good. He had a lot of sway, he did good rumba walks and didn’t look especially phased. He’d chosen a piece of music much beloved of his dad, and Kristina had choreographed a beautiful routine (which bearing in mind it was the first time she’d ever gotten far enough in the show to do a rumba was quite a challenge). So, what went wrong?
I mean, Jason didn’t look nervous. But he didn’t look entirely like he was trying to be seductive either. There were moments of awkwardness which I personally believe is inevitable in a male celeb rumba unless you can really get into the part and lose yourself in it. But Craig managed to put his finger on what I found was wrong: he called it too ‘earnest’. It wasn’t especially tender or heartfelt, just a little strange and desperate if Jason’s expressions were anything to go by.
Kristina, naturally, didn’t particularly take kindly to the criticism of their performance although at least she stopped short of throwing a strop. Later on she was heard to say that some of her fellow pros had said that Jason’s was the best celebrity male rumba the show had seen. Er, let me see. So, that’s:
Colin Jackson
Matt Di Angelo
Matt Baker
Three of the best celebrity rumbas airbrushed out of Strictly history then? What a short memory some people have when it’s convenient! I mean, Matt Baker was only last year for goodness sake!!!
Of course Strictly is littered with the putrefied corpses of male rumbas. Too showy and it can look effeminate. Too blokey and the man looks as if he should be felling trees rather than wooing beautiful women. Ramps seemed as if he’d rather have had his teeth pulled than do rumba. Matt Dawson looked like he wanted to cry and hide his face in his mum’s skirt. It’s the dance of destruction. I mean, how do you cope with it? Is there a dance that is more likely to make you look a total prat? You could say the samba, but at least that’s fast! It’s gone in a blink – and a fun blink at that – whereas the rumba is 90 seconds of protracted agony; every wrong step, every shapeless arm and every terrified twitch of the lips highlighted for millions of people to see!
To top it all, you never know when it’s going to arrive in the contest. Do you hope that you get it late on, where you might have built up a reasonable fan base that will vote you through even if you did dance the thing with the air of a condemned man on his way to the guillotine? Do you hope to get it out the way early, and pray that there aren’t any fast, showy Latin dances by opposing celebs which might catch the public’s eye? I’d be interested to know which dance gets people out the most on Strictly, because if it’s not the samba then my money would be on the rumba...
Having said the above it came as no real shock when Mr Donovan was not voted out, even if his position looked slightly dodgy. I reckon his Neighbours-watching fan base back in the 1980s, all grown up now and in charge of their own phone bills, will keep him safe and heading to that final. The bottom two was even less of a shock. Audley had been in that spot twice already but Lulu found herself there for the first time.
And the last time, as it happened.
Much in keeping with his reputation as a fighter, Audley yet again dodged the elimination bullet and this time it was the Scottish singer who found herself being given the Strictly boot. Perhaps she went a week earlier than she should have but I suppose now we are getting in to the better dancers it would only have been a matter of time. Audley lives to face another round, but one can’t help but feel it’s only a matter of time before he hits that metaphorical canvas for good...
You can sense the remaining contenders jockeying for position as they face up to the possibility of a trip to Wembley in a few weeks time, should they stay in. It’s like a whole brigade of politicians dusting off their rosettes pre-election time, endeavouring to affix their best, most winning smiles to their faces. “Vote for me! I’m having the time of my life!” Not to mention “It’s not about the winning, it’s the taking part!”
And of course “I just want to get to Wembley!” It’s the new “I want to get to Blackpool”, don’t you know!
What you don’t see behind the smiles, the laughter and the camaraderie is the blood, sweat and tears. The sore feet, the blisters, the occasional tantrum. The injuries! I reckon that’s why sports people do so well on Strictly. They have the stamina to last to the end, and are used to pushing pain to the side in a desperate bid to reach that finishing line.
Whether Artem has reached the end of his own line is a matter for some debate. At some point during late rehearsals he managed to injure his back. Now, you can’t mess around with spines. They’re the very devil to sort out. That he managed to dance with Holly on the live show given that he had a fracture to his back says a lot for his nerve and dedication, although possibly not for his common sense. And a very good jive it was too, if unconventional. Artem really likes finding new ways to breathe life into dances: he rarely does the obvious. Holly, in matching pin-stripes, braces and spats executed the steps exceptionally well given the fact that in the rehearsal she’d had to train by herself. Sir Brucie stepped in briefly (and looked remarkably good!) but I guess when all is said and done, it’s perhaps not the same as training with your dance partner. All in all a good, quirky take on the jive, although I wish to god Holly would LOOK UP WHEN DANCING! Bashful jiving is not really what it’s about. There was more energy from her, but she always looks so apologetic!
If Holly has the demeanour of a partly comatose sloth, poor Artem looked as if he was in desperate need of some seriously strong pain killers. I think someone was waiting in the audience with a tranquiliser dart to put him out of his pain.
Looks like it missed and hit Holly instead.
Talking of the audience, nice to see Mr Ramps having a watch from the sidelines: no doubt relieved not to be up on the floor shaking his hips! I wonder if ex-strictly people ever have flashbacks to performing. Personally I think I would have been traumatised: first few bars of the theme music would have me scurrying behind the sofa with a pillow over each ear, just like I did when a child watching Doctor Who on a Saturday evening! But I guess that’s the allure of the show if you do well: it may leave terrifying scars but at the same time the people that you work with and the pride in being associated with something so loved must be utterly irresistible. Maybe, when the fake tan gets in your blood, you can’t get rid of it!
A word about the judges. Tonight, just for one night, we got rid of Len. I’m ambivalent to Len, to be honest. I think he needs to be there, but if he’s going to sit and do his best impression of Oscar the grouch from Sesame Street then frankly he can spend the whole show in his trash can as far as I am concerned. Please, could all the celebs and pros not cheese off Uncle Len? I like the Len who could pickle his walnuts in joy, not the one who looks as if his walnuts have been whipped...
Craig I confess to liking. There are times when I think he’s morphing into Gordon Brittas but again, if we could have the picky, acerbic yet constructive Craig rather than the one who delivers one-word critiques that make the celebs feel like they’re about to puke on his desk with fear then that would probably be more helpful. Although arguably not as entertaining.
Bruno I would like to retain, but only if he can be put in a straight jacket until he learns to sit up nicely in his chair. I know a lot of Italian people are expressive and constantly need to flourish their arms and assorted body parts but he does seem to have become excessively demented as the years have gone by. We have Felliway plug-ins to calm our cats in times of stress. There must be something similar for Bruno, surely?
Alesha’s role is to empathise and give out lots of unmerited 10s. She’s a bit hit or miss on the first, but she’s managing the latter quite nicely.
Uncle Len was replaced for the evening by Jennifer ‘Dirty Dancing’ Grey. As films go this one was pretty iconic, and her own winning stint on America’s version of Strictly gave her, like Alesha, a certain insight into what it was like to suffer in the name of public entertainment and public profile-raising. This brand of empathy manifested by turning itself into a paddle with the number ‘8’ on it. My conclusion from Jennifer’s brief stint on Strictly was that she seemed like a lovely person who had as few clues as to how to score a dance as Alesha ‘decimus maximus’ Dixon...
In fairness to Alesha, she didn’t give a single 10 during the show. And the reason for that was that, strangely enough, everything was littered with mistakes to the extent that not even she could whip out that big one-zero. Not even Harry Judd, a man who normally has both Bruno and Alesha fluttering their eyelashes from behind their desk, could work his pectoral magic in a samba that seemed just a tad too...antiseptic. It wasn’t a bad effort, and for the most part it was all there save for a few dodgy Voltas where his bounce action looked like a man on a pneumatic drill, but it’s the one dance where you have to just say ‘hang it all’ and channel Carmen Miranda! If you’re a bloke and you find the gaping, chest exposing v-neck seem as wide as the Grand Canyon, the steps too camp and the bounce action as difficult to control as wrestling with a giant inflatable, believe me it’s going to show. How many years has this show been going? And how many decent male sambas have there been? I think I can count about three!
And yes, Ramps’ samba was the best before anyone asks.
Credit to Aliona this week for giving Harry lots of good content! Someone else who always gets a fair amount to do is Russell, but I’m not sure that people see that. Possibly after the antics on the bull at the start of the campest, cutest, geekiest, most hilarious Paso you are likely to see you were even less likely to spot it! I’m not sure how long Russell and Flavia will stay in now that (as one of my friends wickedly put it) the detritus has been removed but I do hope they manage a few more weeks, as I want to see what other ingenious takes on dances Flavia and Russell have up their flamboyant sleeves!
The two Charlestons were the stars of the show. Chelsee and Pasha’s dance was an absolute triumph of choreography and storytelling, whilst being quite complex technically. Craig spotted something that I did, in that Chelsee had not only mastered the hands but also the head moves as well. And whilst Chelsee sparkled and shone, Anita too mastered her dance with consummate skill. It perhaps missed the odd trick or two in the routine, and there were one or two timing issues, but the style of the dance suited Anita’s sense of theatricality. Here she could act to her heart’s content without being lampooned for looking frenetic and ever so slightly dotty!
I guess that time she spent doing ‘Play Away’ in the 1970s must have paid off! If you can cope with that, you can just about handle anything...
Ah, now here I agree with Alesha on something because I was actually quite bored with Robbie’s routine as well. Actually, what was it? I can’t remember...I think it was a waltz? Of all the ballroom dances the waltz is one that I think is potentially open to the most innovative choreography, and (this isn’t a pop at Ola, who I like) I found that it didn’t really seem to do much for me. Not that I’m saying all waltzes have to be romantic and fluffy, but a melancholic waltz just didn’t hit the spot for me. I guess it’s that old chestnut of different strokes for different folks.
It is sad to see how dispirited a celeb can get when they feel they’ve done well, walk over to the judges with high hopes for great scores, only to have their performance dismissed as lukewarm and inoffensive. But for once I was kind of the judge’s side. Sorry Robbie!
Audley was another one who fell in to that category. He produced the sort of Viennese Waltz that you would expect from a big, friendly giant: sweet, endearing yet ultimately not very delicate. At times he seemed as stop-start as my sister’s last car (which conked out just seconds after she got it to the place she had sold it to). It wasn’t so much the sickly marshmallow of a dance you expect with a VW but rather the Stay Puft Marshmallow man from Ghostbusters...
My one problem with Lulu is that she doesn’t really ‘perform’ a dance, with the exception of last week’s Paso. What we see is Lulu dancing, or going from step to step...yes, she may be having a good time (or not as the case may be) but there’s no real sense of drama or acting, which is a shame because if you can’t put on a show you may as well be dancing round a handbag at a disco on a Friday night. Arlene called it right, many years back. The one who will win will be the one who masters steps, technique and performance. And despite the gamest and pluckiest of efforts it was clearly never going to be Lulu. Her tango with Brendan had a lot to like about it, although like so many others it had mistakes (including one glaring one), but as soon as they descended from the stairs the performance sort of ran away from her a little.
Alex and James were really rather good: much better than I thought they were going to be from their training footage. Considering Alex managed to dance the majority of their quickstep with a heel stuck in her dress and still performed well, looking as if she was having a lot of fun in the process, a lot of praise should be accorded to her. The key to Alex, for me, is that she needs to have a character to hide behind – a hook – so that she can find her way into the dance. The more she understands the flavour of each dance and the acting skills required for it the better she has become each week. And the comedy pratfall at the end of the dance where she and James hit the floor on their backsides was up there with my favourite Strictly moments!
And then to Jason. In training he looked rather good. He had a lot of sway, he did good rumba walks and didn’t look especially phased. He’d chosen a piece of music much beloved of his dad, and Kristina had choreographed a beautiful routine (which bearing in mind it was the first time she’d ever gotten far enough in the show to do a rumba was quite a challenge). So, what went wrong?
I mean, Jason didn’t look nervous. But he didn’t look entirely like he was trying to be seductive either. There were moments of awkwardness which I personally believe is inevitable in a male celeb rumba unless you can really get into the part and lose yourself in it. But Craig managed to put his finger on what I found was wrong: he called it too ‘earnest’. It wasn’t especially tender or heartfelt, just a little strange and desperate if Jason’s expressions were anything to go by.
Kristina, naturally, didn’t particularly take kindly to the criticism of their performance although at least she stopped short of throwing a strop. Later on she was heard to say that some of her fellow pros had said that Jason’s was the best celebrity male rumba the show had seen. Er, let me see. So, that’s:
Colin Jackson
Matt Di Angelo
Matt Baker
Three of the best celebrity rumbas airbrushed out of Strictly history then? What a short memory some people have when it’s convenient! I mean, Matt Baker was only last year for goodness sake!!!
Of course Strictly is littered with the putrefied corpses of male rumbas. Too showy and it can look effeminate. Too blokey and the man looks as if he should be felling trees rather than wooing beautiful women. Ramps seemed as if he’d rather have had his teeth pulled than do rumba. Matt Dawson looked like he wanted to cry and hide his face in his mum’s skirt. It’s the dance of destruction. I mean, how do you cope with it? Is there a dance that is more likely to make you look a total prat? You could say the samba, but at least that’s fast! It’s gone in a blink – and a fun blink at that – whereas the rumba is 90 seconds of protracted agony; every wrong step, every shapeless arm and every terrified twitch of the lips highlighted for millions of people to see!
To top it all, you never know when it’s going to arrive in the contest. Do you hope that you get it late on, where you might have built up a reasonable fan base that will vote you through even if you did dance the thing with the air of a condemned man on his way to the guillotine? Do you hope to get it out the way early, and pray that there aren’t any fast, showy Latin dances by opposing celebs which might catch the public’s eye? I’d be interested to know which dance gets people out the most on Strictly, because if it’s not the samba then my money would be on the rumba...
Having said the above it came as no real shock when Mr Donovan was not voted out, even if his position looked slightly dodgy. I reckon his Neighbours-watching fan base back in the 1980s, all grown up now and in charge of their own phone bills, will keep him safe and heading to that final. The bottom two was even less of a shock. Audley had been in that spot twice already but Lulu found herself there for the first time.
And the last time, as it happened.
Much in keeping with his reputation as a fighter, Audley yet again dodged the elimination bullet and this time it was the Scottish singer who found herself being given the Strictly boot. Perhaps she went a week earlier than she should have but I suppose now we are getting in to the better dancers it would only have been a matter of time. Audley lives to face another round, but one can’t help but feel it’s only a matter of time before he hits that metaphorical canvas for good...
Saturday 5 November 2011
Strictly: Week Five and results show 30/10/11
I want to take Alesha’s 10 paddle away from her. And then I want to smack Robbie on the bottom with it!
But enough of my personal fantasies.
I know that at the end of the day Alesha’s marking the way she feels she ought to, and fair enough. Dance is subjective and affects us differently. Sometimes the performance will carry us along and make us feel deeply about it in a way that it might not some others. It’s just that I don’t get how you can award a 10 to something that is not palpably even near perfect.
Gosh, I miss Arlene. I’m not getting into this debate on ‘why was she removed’ or ‘why was Alesha brought in’ because it’s old history, but I’ve been thinking about this a little recently and I reckon the thing I miss most about Arlene was the fact that her scores were usually pretty much bang on, especially compared to the other judges. Len rarely dares to score below a 6 unless it’s obviously ghastly, Craig sometimes errs on the side of frugality although generally knows what he’s doing, Bruno is a law unto himself and Alesha is handing out 10s like they are sweets.
Yes, I appreciate the show has to change and adapt to keep fresh, and so it should. But I liked it when 10s were rare, and you felt they had to be earned. It was a real achievement to get a full house. It just doesn’t feel like that anymore.
Saturday’s show had a lot of mistakes in it, and I would have expected the marks to be lower generally than they were. Russell, the man who loves the samba to the extent that he actually became the samba, went wrong an awful lot, which I wondered at the time may have been partly due to going first for once. He looked so disappointed not to have done so well in his favourite dance, bless him, and it was really the first routine where he’d made noticeable errors. But of all the dancers on this Halloween themed evening he at least looked as if he was having fun, and threw himself into it, dodgy knee and all. I mean, a few years ago the words ‘Russell Grant and Kylie’ in the same sentence would have been a rather unlikely combination indeed!
Chelsee, bless her, almost fell out of her costume – in fact she thought she had – and led to her losing her balance, concentration and eventually to tears. Still, in spite of all expectations I’m starting to like Chelsee. I like her relationship with Pasha and she’s not only fun to watch but she’s starting to improve. I think perhaps, to my shame, I was slightly taken against her at the start because she reminded me very much of a girl I went to school with who was quite possibly the most irritating, self obsessed little monster I have ever had the misfortune to meet. Which of course has bog-all to do with Chelsee. However, I actually look forward to watching her and I thought both the tango and the dress last week were sublime, if somewhat problematic in places!
Audley, who seems as adorable as a basket of St Bernard puppies, unfortunately danced his jive as if he was suffering with severe bowel cramps. The jive and Audley Harrison were always going to be incompatible. Big men with huge feet tend not master the precision and kicks/flicks required for a fast dance, and at times he looked as if he were trying to remove a stick-tight piece of dog muck from the sole of his shoes. But the huge, beautiful grin was there as ever. And you have to admit that he played the piano beautifully!
I found the sight of James Jordan as Dracula rather distracting. I’m not sure this was the desired affect because Alex actually danced rather nicely, even if she was channelling Kate Bush at times with her white frock! It was an unusual Paso to say the least, but it worked well, and was probably Alex’s best performance to date. But if Craig found it strangely erotic compared to the previous week’s somewhat limp and lacklustre number, I just felt my eyes following Christopher Lee...sorry, James around the floor. I found it frankly disturbing how attractive I found him dressed as Count von Count from Sesame Street.
James, you can bite my neck any time!
Artem never does things by half measures either. In a daring attempt to reinvent the American Smooth by infusing elements of Natalie Portman’s Oscar winning turn in Black Swan, we had a rather delightful turn by Holly who, for possibly the first time in the show so far, seemed to perform beautifully the whole way through a routine. Holly hasn’t really set a dance alight for me so far: I’ve never really got the impression she loves the Strictly experience or indeed learning to dance. She hasn’t managed to light up the floor yet, but this take on Swan Lake actually incorporated her best attributes and used them well, and her arm placement was really lovely. The routine was innovative but split the judges less than I thought it might, with only Len admitting he would have liked more ‘in hold’ to make it a little more in keeping with the dance.
Nancy. How do you solve a problem like Nancy? She doesn’t really improve from week to week but she’s a game girl and always tries her best. She’s also difficult to read as a person because you never know when she’s being tongue-in-cheek and when she’s not, and this unfortunately could be misinterpreted as being diva-like. But for all that, Nancy has ZERO musicality in the way she dances. It’s the equivalent of someone trying to sing when they’re tone deaf. I’ve often considered the rumba to be the Strictly dance of death and, sure enough, Alesha thought she should have stayed in the coffin at the start of the routine! Poor Alesha: she can’t win. That’s the trouble with being the ‘nice’ judge; the one that’s meant to be sympathetic having been through it all before. The moment she makes a negative comment she sounds like a cat.
And you have to be fair to Alesha, because Nancy (for all that she’s a stylish glamour puss) does have a rather tomboyish way of strutting her stuff on the dance floor. I’m not sure the unladylike ‘legs apart’ comment went down too well with Nancy though, even if there was a certain degree of truth to it...
At least Alesha didn’t say she should have stayed in a ‘Y-Shaped coffin’.
Harry is a very fine ballroom dancer, there’s no question of that. Such a pity that he actually danced very little tango steps within his dance. I understand Aliona wanted to do something different for Halloween and make it showier, but this is one reason I wish the Beeb wouldn’t persist in themed evenings. Props, themes and costumes distract from the dance itself. Strictly shouldn’t be just a dance contest, true, or otherwise you should just bring back ‘Come Dancing’. But neither should it be the Generation Game.
I just have this feeling that Aliona might end up costing Harry with her choreography somewhere along the line, which is a shame because it’s quite clear that Harry can dance very well. I’d still like to see him smile more (although I grant you it’s not really appropriate for the tango) but I’d have Harry down to make the final three as it stands. If Aliona wants him to win, she’s going to have to start being a little more thoughtful.
Okay, where do I stand on the groinal thrusting as performed by Robbie in the Paso Doble? I’m actually not sure. On one hand I thought it went with the whole Michael Jackson inspired theme. On the other hand it’s a Paso Doble, not a Porno Doble. It didn’t offend me to be honest because I’m not a prude, but I guess I didn’t really see the need for all the crotch grabbing in the dance. Fine if the bullfighters in Spain start doing it; then it might feel a little more authentic (although considering where some of them get speared it might be more realistic than you might think). It did make me wince a little when thinking of all the kiddies up and down the country that watch the show, and all those who might not want their little treasures subjected to Craig having Robbie’s bits shoved in his face at the end of the routine like, to quote Red Dwarf’s Arnold Rimmer, ‘a dog that’s missing his master’s leg’.
It’s like swearing. It doesn’t bother me, and I curse a blue streak if there’s nobody there to hear it. But if I hear it on public transport it bothers me greatly. Double standards? Or just a matter of common decency? You tell me.
I can’t really say I enjoyed the routine anyway so the air-humping made no difference to me. But as long as Ola doesn’t put more of the same in the routine when they do the Viennese Waltz, I guess I can live with it!
I loved Anita’s costume and I loved her acting. I adore her enthusiasm. But Craig’s right: it’s time to sort that posture out. She stands very straight and tall (and speaking as a serial sloucher I am extremely envious), but it’s not helping her when it comes to the dances that are in hold. The tango was fabulously choreographed especially as Anita actually had to dance the whole way through rather than rely on props and gimmicks *cough* Aliona *cough*, but until she sorts that ballroom stance out she’s always going to look stiff and unnatural. But Anita will want to sort out the imperfections because she quite clearly wants to learn. I hope she stays in long enough for the judges to see that she has.
Lulu has a different problem, but one that stems from the same source. Whereas Anita is too inflexible and rigid, Lulu is too floppy and soft. That said I actually quite enjoyed Lulu’s performance. I think there’s no doubt that the theatricality of the dance suited her amazingly well, and the stylised batwing dress actually gave her something to help her in terms of the physicality of the routine. It was almost a prop, yet not a prop. A very good piece of work from the costumiers. And the entering and exiting on the wire harness was extremely well done.
Nice work, Brendan!
Jason of course upped his game again, as did Kristina. She’s obviously having the time of her life, having such a marvellous canvas to paint on. The quickstep to ‘Bewitched’ was very clever indeed and beautifully choreographed with extremely clever storytelling. It was so nice to see a dance routine that incorporated the theme of Halloween without it dominating the dance itself. I can’t help but feel that both this year and last the flavour of each unique style of dance gets gobbled up in a kind of pantomime farce. This dance bucked that trend wonderfully.
Oh, and then there was Alesha waving that 10 again for a dance that did have a few mistakes in it. Someone wrestle it off her, would you? I have an errant ex-footballer to chastise!
Well, the inevitable happened and Nancy, as if by a puff of magic, exited the show (unladylike legs and all). Having been in the bottom two already on a couple of occasions it was clear that she was a likely candidate to be voted off. Whilst I didn’t dislike her – and from a warped entertainment point of view it was almost a shame to see her leave - I have to say from a dance perspective it was probably for the best.
There are only so many weeks of seeing Anton going purple in the face that I can take...
But enough of my personal fantasies.
I know that at the end of the day Alesha’s marking the way she feels she ought to, and fair enough. Dance is subjective and affects us differently. Sometimes the performance will carry us along and make us feel deeply about it in a way that it might not some others. It’s just that I don’t get how you can award a 10 to something that is not palpably even near perfect.
Gosh, I miss Arlene. I’m not getting into this debate on ‘why was she removed’ or ‘why was Alesha brought in’ because it’s old history, but I’ve been thinking about this a little recently and I reckon the thing I miss most about Arlene was the fact that her scores were usually pretty much bang on, especially compared to the other judges. Len rarely dares to score below a 6 unless it’s obviously ghastly, Craig sometimes errs on the side of frugality although generally knows what he’s doing, Bruno is a law unto himself and Alesha is handing out 10s like they are sweets.
Yes, I appreciate the show has to change and adapt to keep fresh, and so it should. But I liked it when 10s were rare, and you felt they had to be earned. It was a real achievement to get a full house. It just doesn’t feel like that anymore.
Saturday’s show had a lot of mistakes in it, and I would have expected the marks to be lower generally than they were. Russell, the man who loves the samba to the extent that he actually became the samba, went wrong an awful lot, which I wondered at the time may have been partly due to going first for once. He looked so disappointed not to have done so well in his favourite dance, bless him, and it was really the first routine where he’d made noticeable errors. But of all the dancers on this Halloween themed evening he at least looked as if he was having fun, and threw himself into it, dodgy knee and all. I mean, a few years ago the words ‘Russell Grant and Kylie’ in the same sentence would have been a rather unlikely combination indeed!
Chelsee, bless her, almost fell out of her costume – in fact she thought she had – and led to her losing her balance, concentration and eventually to tears. Still, in spite of all expectations I’m starting to like Chelsee. I like her relationship with Pasha and she’s not only fun to watch but she’s starting to improve. I think perhaps, to my shame, I was slightly taken against her at the start because she reminded me very much of a girl I went to school with who was quite possibly the most irritating, self obsessed little monster I have ever had the misfortune to meet. Which of course has bog-all to do with Chelsee. However, I actually look forward to watching her and I thought both the tango and the dress last week were sublime, if somewhat problematic in places!
Audley, who seems as adorable as a basket of St Bernard puppies, unfortunately danced his jive as if he was suffering with severe bowel cramps. The jive and Audley Harrison were always going to be incompatible. Big men with huge feet tend not master the precision and kicks/flicks required for a fast dance, and at times he looked as if he were trying to remove a stick-tight piece of dog muck from the sole of his shoes. But the huge, beautiful grin was there as ever. And you have to admit that he played the piano beautifully!
I found the sight of James Jordan as Dracula rather distracting. I’m not sure this was the desired affect because Alex actually danced rather nicely, even if she was channelling Kate Bush at times with her white frock! It was an unusual Paso to say the least, but it worked well, and was probably Alex’s best performance to date. But if Craig found it strangely erotic compared to the previous week’s somewhat limp and lacklustre number, I just felt my eyes following Christopher Lee...sorry, James around the floor. I found it frankly disturbing how attractive I found him dressed as Count von Count from Sesame Street.
James, you can bite my neck any time!
Artem never does things by half measures either. In a daring attempt to reinvent the American Smooth by infusing elements of Natalie Portman’s Oscar winning turn in Black Swan, we had a rather delightful turn by Holly who, for possibly the first time in the show so far, seemed to perform beautifully the whole way through a routine. Holly hasn’t really set a dance alight for me so far: I’ve never really got the impression she loves the Strictly experience or indeed learning to dance. She hasn’t managed to light up the floor yet, but this take on Swan Lake actually incorporated her best attributes and used them well, and her arm placement was really lovely. The routine was innovative but split the judges less than I thought it might, with only Len admitting he would have liked more ‘in hold’ to make it a little more in keeping with the dance.
Nancy. How do you solve a problem like Nancy? She doesn’t really improve from week to week but she’s a game girl and always tries her best. She’s also difficult to read as a person because you never know when she’s being tongue-in-cheek and when she’s not, and this unfortunately could be misinterpreted as being diva-like. But for all that, Nancy has ZERO musicality in the way she dances. It’s the equivalent of someone trying to sing when they’re tone deaf. I’ve often considered the rumba to be the Strictly dance of death and, sure enough, Alesha thought she should have stayed in the coffin at the start of the routine! Poor Alesha: she can’t win. That’s the trouble with being the ‘nice’ judge; the one that’s meant to be sympathetic having been through it all before. The moment she makes a negative comment she sounds like a cat.
And you have to be fair to Alesha, because Nancy (for all that she’s a stylish glamour puss) does have a rather tomboyish way of strutting her stuff on the dance floor. I’m not sure the unladylike ‘legs apart’ comment went down too well with Nancy though, even if there was a certain degree of truth to it...
At least Alesha didn’t say she should have stayed in a ‘Y-Shaped coffin’.
Harry is a very fine ballroom dancer, there’s no question of that. Such a pity that he actually danced very little tango steps within his dance. I understand Aliona wanted to do something different for Halloween and make it showier, but this is one reason I wish the Beeb wouldn’t persist in themed evenings. Props, themes and costumes distract from the dance itself. Strictly shouldn’t be just a dance contest, true, or otherwise you should just bring back ‘Come Dancing’. But neither should it be the Generation Game.
I just have this feeling that Aliona might end up costing Harry with her choreography somewhere along the line, which is a shame because it’s quite clear that Harry can dance very well. I’d still like to see him smile more (although I grant you it’s not really appropriate for the tango) but I’d have Harry down to make the final three as it stands. If Aliona wants him to win, she’s going to have to start being a little more thoughtful.
Okay, where do I stand on the groinal thrusting as performed by Robbie in the Paso Doble? I’m actually not sure. On one hand I thought it went with the whole Michael Jackson inspired theme. On the other hand it’s a Paso Doble, not a Porno Doble. It didn’t offend me to be honest because I’m not a prude, but I guess I didn’t really see the need for all the crotch grabbing in the dance. Fine if the bullfighters in Spain start doing it; then it might feel a little more authentic (although considering where some of them get speared it might be more realistic than you might think). It did make me wince a little when thinking of all the kiddies up and down the country that watch the show, and all those who might not want their little treasures subjected to Craig having Robbie’s bits shoved in his face at the end of the routine like, to quote Red Dwarf’s Arnold Rimmer, ‘a dog that’s missing his master’s leg’.
It’s like swearing. It doesn’t bother me, and I curse a blue streak if there’s nobody there to hear it. But if I hear it on public transport it bothers me greatly. Double standards? Or just a matter of common decency? You tell me.
I can’t really say I enjoyed the routine anyway so the air-humping made no difference to me. But as long as Ola doesn’t put more of the same in the routine when they do the Viennese Waltz, I guess I can live with it!
I loved Anita’s costume and I loved her acting. I adore her enthusiasm. But Craig’s right: it’s time to sort that posture out. She stands very straight and tall (and speaking as a serial sloucher I am extremely envious), but it’s not helping her when it comes to the dances that are in hold. The tango was fabulously choreographed especially as Anita actually had to dance the whole way through rather than rely on props and gimmicks *cough* Aliona *cough*, but until she sorts that ballroom stance out she’s always going to look stiff and unnatural. But Anita will want to sort out the imperfections because she quite clearly wants to learn. I hope she stays in long enough for the judges to see that she has.
Lulu has a different problem, but one that stems from the same source. Whereas Anita is too inflexible and rigid, Lulu is too floppy and soft. That said I actually quite enjoyed Lulu’s performance. I think there’s no doubt that the theatricality of the dance suited her amazingly well, and the stylised batwing dress actually gave her something to help her in terms of the physicality of the routine. It was almost a prop, yet not a prop. A very good piece of work from the costumiers. And the entering and exiting on the wire harness was extremely well done.
Nice work, Brendan!
Jason of course upped his game again, as did Kristina. She’s obviously having the time of her life, having such a marvellous canvas to paint on. The quickstep to ‘Bewitched’ was very clever indeed and beautifully choreographed with extremely clever storytelling. It was so nice to see a dance routine that incorporated the theme of Halloween without it dominating the dance itself. I can’t help but feel that both this year and last the flavour of each unique style of dance gets gobbled up in a kind of pantomime farce. This dance bucked that trend wonderfully.
Oh, and then there was Alesha waving that 10 again for a dance that did have a few mistakes in it. Someone wrestle it off her, would you? I have an errant ex-footballer to chastise!
Well, the inevitable happened and Nancy, as if by a puff of magic, exited the show (unladylike legs and all). Having been in the bottom two already on a couple of occasions it was clear that she was a likely candidate to be voted off. Whilst I didn’t dislike her – and from a warped entertainment point of view it was almost a shame to see her leave - I have to say from a dance perspective it was probably for the best.
There are only so many weeks of seeing Anton going purple in the face that I can take...
Saturday 29 October 2011
Strictly: Week Four and results show 23/10/11
I like Craig. I like Len. And, to continue on the same theme, I like James. But it didn’t stop me wanting the three of them to punch each other’s lights out on live TV.
It was an interesting evening on Saturday. Jason stomped and gurned his way through an unconvincing, slightly tentative Paso where technique and performance went up against each other in battle, with both losing at various times. The possible cause of his lacklustre turn as a matador was, according to Len, his remarkably un-taut buttocks. You remember those, don’t you? Arlene used to have her eyes set on zoom just to test for Paso pertness.
Alex had anatomical issues of a different variety, in that her hips were found to be mysteriously missing. Craig let her know in no uncertain terms that he found her rumba performance ‘sexless’, whilst James’ hair almost elevated itself like the spines of a hedgehog at the merest whiff of criticism aimed at his choreography. Too much time writhing on the floor, Len said. Not enough dance content.
Poor Alex. To be told that you’re not only dancing lacklustre choreography but dancing it stodgily does not make for a good evening. Although having received the unkind critique there was more movement in her bottom lip than there had been in her hips during the whole dance...
Rory’s bits all seemed to work but, to paraphrase Eric Morecambe, not necessarily in the right order. I love watching Rory’s face rather than the rest of him trying to cope with the un-manly delights of a cha cha cha. His expression was a contradiction of joy, happiness and pained uncertainty. The smile that was plastered on his face seemed genuine, yet at times even this master of disguise couldn’t hide the vague embarrassment in his eyes. Moments of sheer dance pleasure were all too readily swamped by realisation from Rory that he wasn’t a natural born hip-swivelling, chest-exposing Latin dude but a pasty fifty plus from Edinburgh sewn into a black sequined outfit. His have-a-go-ness is endearing, and yet frankly cringe inducing at the same time.
Audley, having worked on his posture, now no longer looks like Godzilla stuffed into a tail suit. I couldn’t go as far as to call him graceful, but he is now more ‘elegant’ than ‘elephant’. As for tripping over his feet and clumping about, there’s not much the man can do about that. He could chop his feet off, I suppose: it is Halloween next week, after all.
Credit where it’s due: Audley managed to complete a foxtrot in very convincing fashion. It impressed me because if Audley has a secret weapon then it’s his hearty personality. To do so well in the world’s most boring ballroom dance, where often glazed eyes and a frown of concentration are the order of the day, bodes well for future dances where he can inject a little more of his sense of fun. Well, if he can get those huge feet of his working as they’re meant to. Now, where did I put that hacksaw...
Nancy also has problems with her feet. And her body in general. Every time I see Anton hauling her round the floor the song ‘I got no strings’ from Pinocchio instantly springs to mind. In theory a dramatic dance like a Paso should have suited her Latin temperament. Certainly she had the look and the attitude, but when you’re performing a routine that is supposed to be high on aggression and machismo, having the strength of Ragdolly Anna is not going to sell the number to the British public. The word ‘floopy’ could have been coined with poor Nancy in mind. It’s not that she isn’t trying; it’s simply that she’s more than a little bit rubbish. But let’s look at the positives: she detracts from the fact that unless it’s a high-class ballroom number Anton is also more than a little bit rubbish. Additionally, I liked the fact that Nancy was counting the steps as she performed them (even if she still was out of time). It brought a much needed touch of Sesame Street to the Paso Doble. Tonight’s Strictly Come Dancing was brought to you by the letter ‘F’ for 'Fail' and the number ‘5’...
If I described Holly and Artem’s Viennese Waltz as ‘nice’ I think it would be damning them with faint praise. So that’s how I’m going to describe it. It was a nice, floaty, silky meringue of a dance. That is to say sweet but ultimately not very satisfying. And tonight there were not one, nor two, but three lamp posts on the dance floor! I had my hopes raised falsely that there was now an even greater chance that the pair of them would turn the wrong way and headbutt each other but alas, it was not to be. It might have enlivened an otherwise safe, if unmemorable dance, albeit one that was performed with consummate grace.
Can you ever have a quickstep that is too fast? Turbo-charged Pasha and Chelseeeeeeee sped through their routine as if their feet were at risk of catching fire! It was a number that matched serial texter Chelsee’s personality, yet finally seemed to deliver on the technical front as well. Or at least I presume so, because I was too busy trying to keep up with them as they chassed and Charlestoned their way across the floor that it was almost impossible to see what was going on! Maybe, given that Chelsee has been criticised for looking scrappy before, that was the idea. Mistakes are, after all, fine and dandy provided that nobody can see them!
Oh, come on. Who’s the judge most likely to give the first 10 of the series? I could have bet my parent’s house on it being Alesha. Little Harry McFly Judd, having stopped mid-way through the most beautiful and refined Waltz to have a little choreographical smooch on the stairs with Aliona, obviously hit the right spot with Alesha but didn’t quite do it for Len. See, what Craig, Alesha and Bruno might call ‘stair-ography’ Len would call faffing about. He just wants dancing in the way that Arlene wanted raw sex. Stair foreplay doesn’t do it for him. Note to Aliona: if you’re in next week keep away from stairs. Or unicycles. Or anything that takes up 10-15 seconds of time that you might have used in terms of actual dance content. Uncle Len is watching you...
Anita’s still dancing a bit like Mad Mick McMad. As she said herself, she’s so into the performance aspect that the technicals go flying out the window. There was hope: she started off looking a little flummoxed but got increasingly better as the routine got going, and some of the lifts were truly stupendous. I bet Robin is glad that he had a light partner to lift and not Anne Widdecombe! If Anita can just pick up on the footwork then she might make the final half of the contest. Because at the end of the day it’s someone who possesses everything at least to a reasonable level that is going to pick up that glitter ball.
I’m not meaning to sound hyper-critical of Anita: I really like her. She’s better than most and not as good as some. I think that’s a fair assessment of her at the moment. But she has been involved in my favourite Strictly moment of the season so far: the look on her face when Craig gave her an ‘8’ just about had me rolling off my chair with laughter! I have never seen anyone look so utterly shocked in my life!
If there were two parts of Robbie’s anatomy that could speak last week then you wouldn’t be able to shut up either his nose or his groin. His nose would have protested vehemently as it crashed headlong into a camera at the end of the routine, whilst his groin would probably have complained about over-use. I have never seen a jive that contained so many pelvic thrusts! Sure, like Anita the technical side to Robbie’s jive was all over the place but he has abundant energy. He also appears to be going on a ‘journey’ in this contest. And all the nice girls like to see a journey! You know: bolshy sportsman on the field of play, shy little butterfly off it who comes out of his cocoon and spreads his wings...
Oh, hang on. Done that one already.
The image of Russell Grant clutching his teddy (not a euphemism, I assure you) at the end of the tango will live with me for many years. In fact I want a still of it blown up and stuck on my wall. I can’t fault Russell. I mean, other than the footwork and the technique...
Bless the man, he tries. He’s taking it seriously. And there isn’t an inch of him that he doesn’t throw into the routine. I just love his partnership with Flavia. Whilst it goes against my conscience to want the less able dancers to stay in I just can’t help myself because each week Russell puts the biggest smile on my face. Please Britain: keep them in a few more weeks. I can name at least three or four couples I would sooner leave before team Ravia!
*****
And so it was left for poor Rory to give the impression of a man who was sad to leave the show, and one who possibly left a few weeks before he ought. True, he went out doing a dance that perhaps didn’t show him at his best so from that point of view there couldn’t have been many complaints. Yet he brought a lot of fun to Strictly, and so it would be fair to say he will be missed.
Nancy and Anton once more shared the bottom spot. One more week of picking off those left high and dry in the vulnerable spot of the board (three or four from the bottom) and people will start to call her the silent assassin. A bit like Rosa Klebb in ‘From Russia with Love’.
Well, she does seem to like hanging on to Anton’s body using only her legs...
It was an interesting evening on Saturday. Jason stomped and gurned his way through an unconvincing, slightly tentative Paso where technique and performance went up against each other in battle, with both losing at various times. The possible cause of his lacklustre turn as a matador was, according to Len, his remarkably un-taut buttocks. You remember those, don’t you? Arlene used to have her eyes set on zoom just to test for Paso pertness.
Alex had anatomical issues of a different variety, in that her hips were found to be mysteriously missing. Craig let her know in no uncertain terms that he found her rumba performance ‘sexless’, whilst James’ hair almost elevated itself like the spines of a hedgehog at the merest whiff of criticism aimed at his choreography. Too much time writhing on the floor, Len said. Not enough dance content.
Poor Alex. To be told that you’re not only dancing lacklustre choreography but dancing it stodgily does not make for a good evening. Although having received the unkind critique there was more movement in her bottom lip than there had been in her hips during the whole dance...
Rory’s bits all seemed to work but, to paraphrase Eric Morecambe, not necessarily in the right order. I love watching Rory’s face rather than the rest of him trying to cope with the un-manly delights of a cha cha cha. His expression was a contradiction of joy, happiness and pained uncertainty. The smile that was plastered on his face seemed genuine, yet at times even this master of disguise couldn’t hide the vague embarrassment in his eyes. Moments of sheer dance pleasure were all too readily swamped by realisation from Rory that he wasn’t a natural born hip-swivelling, chest-exposing Latin dude but a pasty fifty plus from Edinburgh sewn into a black sequined outfit. His have-a-go-ness is endearing, and yet frankly cringe inducing at the same time.
Audley, having worked on his posture, now no longer looks like Godzilla stuffed into a tail suit. I couldn’t go as far as to call him graceful, but he is now more ‘elegant’ than ‘elephant’. As for tripping over his feet and clumping about, there’s not much the man can do about that. He could chop his feet off, I suppose: it is Halloween next week, after all.
Credit where it’s due: Audley managed to complete a foxtrot in very convincing fashion. It impressed me because if Audley has a secret weapon then it’s his hearty personality. To do so well in the world’s most boring ballroom dance, where often glazed eyes and a frown of concentration are the order of the day, bodes well for future dances where he can inject a little more of his sense of fun. Well, if he can get those huge feet of his working as they’re meant to. Now, where did I put that hacksaw...
Nancy also has problems with her feet. And her body in general. Every time I see Anton hauling her round the floor the song ‘I got no strings’ from Pinocchio instantly springs to mind. In theory a dramatic dance like a Paso should have suited her Latin temperament. Certainly she had the look and the attitude, but when you’re performing a routine that is supposed to be high on aggression and machismo, having the strength of Ragdolly Anna is not going to sell the number to the British public. The word ‘floopy’ could have been coined with poor Nancy in mind. It’s not that she isn’t trying; it’s simply that she’s more than a little bit rubbish. But let’s look at the positives: she detracts from the fact that unless it’s a high-class ballroom number Anton is also more than a little bit rubbish. Additionally, I liked the fact that Nancy was counting the steps as she performed them (even if she still was out of time). It brought a much needed touch of Sesame Street to the Paso Doble. Tonight’s Strictly Come Dancing was brought to you by the letter ‘F’ for 'Fail' and the number ‘5’...
If I described Holly and Artem’s Viennese Waltz as ‘nice’ I think it would be damning them with faint praise. So that’s how I’m going to describe it. It was a nice, floaty, silky meringue of a dance. That is to say sweet but ultimately not very satisfying. And tonight there were not one, nor two, but three lamp posts on the dance floor! I had my hopes raised falsely that there was now an even greater chance that the pair of them would turn the wrong way and headbutt each other but alas, it was not to be. It might have enlivened an otherwise safe, if unmemorable dance, albeit one that was performed with consummate grace.
Can you ever have a quickstep that is too fast? Turbo-charged Pasha and Chelseeeeeeee sped through their routine as if their feet were at risk of catching fire! It was a number that matched serial texter Chelsee’s personality, yet finally seemed to deliver on the technical front as well. Or at least I presume so, because I was too busy trying to keep up with them as they chassed and Charlestoned their way across the floor that it was almost impossible to see what was going on! Maybe, given that Chelsee has been criticised for looking scrappy before, that was the idea. Mistakes are, after all, fine and dandy provided that nobody can see them!
Oh, come on. Who’s the judge most likely to give the first 10 of the series? I could have bet my parent’s house on it being Alesha. Little Harry McFly Judd, having stopped mid-way through the most beautiful and refined Waltz to have a little choreographical smooch on the stairs with Aliona, obviously hit the right spot with Alesha but didn’t quite do it for Len. See, what Craig, Alesha and Bruno might call ‘stair-ography’ Len would call faffing about. He just wants dancing in the way that Arlene wanted raw sex. Stair foreplay doesn’t do it for him. Note to Aliona: if you’re in next week keep away from stairs. Or unicycles. Or anything that takes up 10-15 seconds of time that you might have used in terms of actual dance content. Uncle Len is watching you...
Anita’s still dancing a bit like Mad Mick McMad. As she said herself, she’s so into the performance aspect that the technicals go flying out the window. There was hope: she started off looking a little flummoxed but got increasingly better as the routine got going, and some of the lifts were truly stupendous. I bet Robin is glad that he had a light partner to lift and not Anne Widdecombe! If Anita can just pick up on the footwork then she might make the final half of the contest. Because at the end of the day it’s someone who possesses everything at least to a reasonable level that is going to pick up that glitter ball.
I’m not meaning to sound hyper-critical of Anita: I really like her. She’s better than most and not as good as some. I think that’s a fair assessment of her at the moment. But she has been involved in my favourite Strictly moment of the season so far: the look on her face when Craig gave her an ‘8’ just about had me rolling off my chair with laughter! I have never seen anyone look so utterly shocked in my life!
If there were two parts of Robbie’s anatomy that could speak last week then you wouldn’t be able to shut up either his nose or his groin. His nose would have protested vehemently as it crashed headlong into a camera at the end of the routine, whilst his groin would probably have complained about over-use. I have never seen a jive that contained so many pelvic thrusts! Sure, like Anita the technical side to Robbie’s jive was all over the place but he has abundant energy. He also appears to be going on a ‘journey’ in this contest. And all the nice girls like to see a journey! You know: bolshy sportsman on the field of play, shy little butterfly off it who comes out of his cocoon and spreads his wings...
Oh, hang on. Done that one already.
The image of Russell Grant clutching his teddy (not a euphemism, I assure you) at the end of the tango will live with me for many years. In fact I want a still of it blown up and stuck on my wall. I can’t fault Russell. I mean, other than the footwork and the technique...
Bless the man, he tries. He’s taking it seriously. And there isn’t an inch of him that he doesn’t throw into the routine. I just love his partnership with Flavia. Whilst it goes against my conscience to want the less able dancers to stay in I just can’t help myself because each week Russell puts the biggest smile on my face. Please Britain: keep them in a few more weeks. I can name at least three or four couples I would sooner leave before team Ravia!
*****
And so it was left for poor Rory to give the impression of a man who was sad to leave the show, and one who possibly left a few weeks before he ought. True, he went out doing a dance that perhaps didn’t show him at his best so from that point of view there couldn’t have been many complaints. Yet he brought a lot of fun to Strictly, and so it would be fair to say he will be missed.
Nancy and Anton once more shared the bottom spot. One more week of picking off those left high and dry in the vulnerable spot of the board (three or four from the bottom) and people will start to call her the silent assassin. A bit like Rosa Klebb in ‘From Russia with Love’.
Well, she does seem to like hanging on to Anton’s body using only her legs...
Wednesday 19 October 2011
Strictly: Week Three and results show 16/10/11
There’s nothing like a bit of razzle dazzle. Strictly’s attempts to do a Broadway themed evening was by and large more successful than the Halloween malarkey last year, although to be perfectly honest I thought that some of the routines captured the spirit of the enterprise better than others.
Take Dan, for example. Fine looking fella. A bit tall for Katya, if you ask me and as a result his Viennese Waltz to ‘Somebody to Love’ made me feel rather queasy due to the way he bobbed up and down like a storm-tossed galleon. At one point in proceedings I thought it was a case of ‘man overboard’ as he abandoned Katya and walked away...then I realised it was part of the dance. I’m not picking on Katya’s choreography here, but I’m afraid that Dan played it with the emotion of a piece of MDF plywood. I thought he’d done a Di’Angelo and was in search of a stair to sit and have a nervous breakdown on! Was it just me who took a few seconds to realise it was an actual legitimate part of the routine? I’m just not getting any chemistry between the two of them. They look like they get on okay but it seems as if he’s struggling to release his inner dancer, and I’m not sure he’s really enjoying the experience. It must be hard work doing ‘Daybreak’ and ‘Strictly’ so I sympathise, but I do wish he wouldn’t look so pouty and sulky whenever he gets a bad crit.
Bruno said it best, really. Given the passion in the words of the song, Dan didn’t seem to connect that emotion with the steps at all. Freddie 10, Dan 0.
Then on the other side of the fence you have Jason and Anita. I think we can safely say that Jason managed to dance the steps much better than Anita, but both manage to convey how much they love being on the show through their performance. Anita’s jive lacked energy and she didn’t really bend her knees and kick sharply enough, but the effort was fantastic. I like that Robin isn’t afraid to challenge her to do tricky steps, and considering many younger people have struggled with the dance it was to her credit that she managed to (mostly) keep up with her partner. Not a dance disarrrrrrster! But with a bit of luck she’ll get something elegant, sedate and ballroom-related next week to show off her feminine side rather than having to act like a High School cheerleader two weeks in a row! I know, I know...it was based on ‘Hairspray’ and the outfit suited the dance. Not convinced it did Anita any favours though!
Jason’s dance was the pinkest Tango I have ever seen. I have to commend Kristina for her excellent choreography this season. Up until now we’ve either had her trying to be clever to show her not very good partner’s best aspects, such as they were, or cover up their shortcomings, of which there were many. I used to unkindly refer to her as a ‘gusset-flasher’, that is to say someone who over-danced and exaggerated their own abilities to distract from the fact she was dragging her partner across the floor or hiding the fact they were shuffling shamefully from foot to foot like they were treading grapes in a vat. This is the year where, at the very least, Kristina gets to show the fact she is a serious choreographer.
And perhaps, given that this Tango was based on drag-queen movie Pricilla, Queen of the Desert, the little camp disco section in the middle was not as incongruous as it might have been! It was a thoroughly enjoyable routine, danced very well, and I will forgive Jason his weird facial expressions this time as they were clearly part of the whole routine. At least I think they were. If not, that’s one hell of a nervous tick he’s developed over the last few weeks! We’re week three and he’s getting straight 9s already. Things are looking rosy for Mr Donovan at the moment.
Harry’s not looking quite so rosy. At least his complexion isn’t, going by the ghostie white torso we saw all too much of during his ‘jive’ to ‘Grease Lightening’. Couldn’t makeup have given him a once-over with some spray tan? In a world where most dancers have about twenty layers of slap plastered over them poor little Harry stood out like an iceberg against the night sky. Was there ever a more baby-faced, hairlessly-chested Danny Zuko?
My one problem with it was Aliona’s choreography...I thought a jive was supposed to have jive steps in it? It would be interesting to see what percentage of jive was in there, but once again I was left feeling very unsatisfied with the finish product. It was like a badly made doughnut: all hole and no cake. On the upside it was probably the first time that Harry managed to perform the dance and give it some real welly. He acted his little socks off, and whilst I’m not the biggest fan of props the car at the start gave it a real flavour of the number. Nor did he spend much time faffing about to waste time.
Unlike Anton and Nancy. Although she improved on last week’s rag-doll salsa the best thing I could say was that the performance from the chair was very good.
Lulu, clad in a black and white 1960s style negligee (which only needed a few pom poms down the front and a ruff to make her look like a scary pierrot) put in a reasonable effort in her rumba. It was certainly beautiful to watch, but as with Harry there didn’t seem to be an awful lot of the recognised steps amongst the content. Brendan had warned everyone beforehand that the judges might not care for what he had planned, but the all seemed to like it well enough, save for Craig who rightly ticked Brenan off for...wait for it...putting in an illegal lift. Well, colour me surprised. An illegal lift from Brendan. Who’d have thunk it, eh? I mean, it’s not like he’s done it before. Apart from with Clare King. Oh, and Kelly Brook.
Previously, Len went berserk and told Brendan he had a screw loose for putting in illegal lifts. Craig ticked him off for spoiling an otherwise brilliant routine. Bruno said to hell with rules and gave him a 10 anyway. This time, Craig told Brendan he was deducting points for the illegal move as per the rules. Len said “you have to break a lot of eggs to make an omelette” and decided he was going to overlook the lift. Bruno just smiled mischievously to himself.
I know that you don’t want to be knocking Lulu’s confidence when it’s already the size of a microbe but rules are rules, and head judges are supposed to be head judges. A little consistency from Mr Goodman wouldn’t go amiss, methinks! We know Bruno’s barmy anyway so we’ll just ignore him for the time being.
Perhaps we could lock him in the cell with Holly! Resplendent in black Velma Kelly wig and a dress held on merely by the power of prayer you would have to be blind not to agree that Holly won first prize for most striking costume of the night! For once I actually liked the faffing about at the start as I felt it served its purpose as part of the storytelling, and there was genuine dancing involved. I felt however that she lost a little intensity as soon as she got into hold with Artem, and I’m not sure if it was the wig but the head snaps seemed to be slightly out of sync with her partner. The way she pulled the miscreant piece of dress from her stiletto heel deserves a round of applause. I actually didn’t notice it first time round, it was executed with such sleight of hand, but the four witches cackling behind their desks saw it nonetheless.
It’s been said a fair bit by other people but I kind of agree: I like both Artem and Holly, but I’m not sure I like them much together. There doesn’t seem to be much of a spark between them.
Probably something to do with Kara...
I feel like writing a school report for Audley.
Attitude: First class.
Footwork: Could do better.
Hand shaping: Unrecognisable.
Ability to move from the waist down: Compromised.
Engaging with the public: Very good!
He’s such a likeable chap, is Audley. He’s funky, he’s sweet, he’s charming...he’s not terribly confident and sometimes his large feet trip him up, but he always puts everything into it, and I like that. I think however that he desperately needs a little refining to take him up to the next level. If he doesn’t start that soon I recon the judges are going to mark him down and then he’s into dangerous territory.
Chelsee was scrappy again today. I don’t mean as in ‘Scrappy Doo’, although her bounding exuberance on the dance floor does remind me of Odie from Garfield. Somehow I expect her to dance with her tongue lolling out her mouth! She’s a little like Louise Lytton, in that she’s a young, whirling dervish who lights up the floor with her personality and fast footwork. There the similarities end: Louisa was also quite precise and knew how to tell a story through dance. Chelsee isn’t actually acting: she’s being herself (and just dancing as herself). I think this is what’s holding her back at the moment. Until she gets a big, dramatic dance like the tango or the Paso doble I don’t think we’re going to see the best of her.
Rory managed to shine in the capable hands of ballroom expert Erin. He also looked as if he was really enjoying himself on the dance floor. The posture is still a little stiff and hunched, but it seems as if he’s going to be a ballroom boy rather than a hot Latin lover, if his sharp work in the tail suit was anything to go by. You see, much as I have grown to like Erin – especially her clever choreography (dummy dancing apart) – she’s not the best of the Latin dancers out there. I mean, don’t get me wrong - this is how I see Erin’s Latin:
10
9
8 – Erin
7
6
5
4
3
2
Anton
She’s still pretty good. But if you’re skilled mainly in ballroom and you have a celeb who gets all coy and two left-footed when you stick a pink feather down their butt and put them in a rhinestone headband, you’re on a losing bet from the outset. Rory seems confident enough but I think he’ll struggle to look a credible samba dancer. If you don’t feel comfy deep down you won’t be able to express it outwardly. And I’m scared that the persona he adopts to dance the aforesaid samba when the time comes may be John Major. I can do without the image of the former PM in ruffles and tassels...
Still, his face shone with the delight of being able to wear that top hat. His eyes really sparkled with the joy of the dance. And his face resembled a cross between Chris Hollins’ wistful “trout pout” and a man who had spent minutes trying to remove his lips from a frozen ice lolly!
Mum and I came to the conclusion, after a little debate, that James Jordan is actually the most attractive of the male pro dancers. Sister went for Artem, whilst concluding that Pasha was potentially quite hot. The fact that my mother’s taste in men is converging on my own is rather disturbing, given that she is 68. Not as disturbing as that would be for James, however!
Alex seems to be growing in confidence. I say seems: I think most of them are still fairly petrified on show night with the possible exception of Jason. For a woman who couldn’t tell left from right to start with she’s learned a lot in a very few weeks. I have to confess she’s grown on me a little. The VW itself was very slow, very clever and very simple. Kudos to James for the beautiful choreography: there’s not much variation to this dance and making it interesting is a tricky prospect. If you can’t jazz up the steps you have to build the mood instead, and that is what they managed to do.
The man himself did say that sticking on a pair of cat ears and whiskers to dance a Viennese Waltz to ‘Memories’ from Cats would probably be inappropriate, and of course he’s right, but dammit; I wanted to see it! Sure it’d kill the mood stone dead but frankly I don’t care. I suppose at least they didn’t raise their tails to the lamppost...
Robbie’s dance was also impressive, although I think I preferred the previous week’s effort. Maybe it’s a tribute to how good I thought his dance last Saturday was that I came away from this Saturday’s smiling, yet slightly underwhelmed. I very much enjoyed what he did, although I think I spotted a few recycled moves from Ola’s Paso with Kenny Logan a few series back. I think Robbie’s beginning to enjoy this dancing malarkey! Typical sportsman. Stays in a few weeks having felt all self-conscious and girly, then suddenly they get their eyes on the main prize and – bingo! It’s as if they’ve had a sequin transfusion!
Oh, and Mr Savage: the hair looks much better tied back. Also, Mr Goodman won’t nag you half as much if you keep it drawn away from the nape of your neck. Makes it so much easier for the judges to stick their fangs in...
Russell was accused by Craig of being too camp with his foxtrot, which was slightly ironic, yet I do know what he meant. However, I thought it worked! It wasn’t sprinkled liberally throughout the whole dance, and the section that had the, shall we say less butch, aspects to it appeared totally in keeping with the theatricality of the whole show-biz infused evening. Dazzling in white with a little touch of yellow, Russell did resemble a peach meringue somewhat, but I’m really enjoying his partnership with Flavia. It seems that although he’s not the best dancer Flavia has taught he may well be the most enthusiastic and least self-conscious: Russell doesn’t give a damn who thinks he’s too camp, or too large. He’s having too much fun to care. And that is infectious!
I wasn’t surprised by the bottom two. I wasn’t surprised by who went either. Nor can I say I was upset by it.
Dan or Nancy? I mean, you’d have to say that Nancy has been worse than Dan each time they’ve danced. Thing is, one is uncomfortable to watch whilst the other at least you can shake your head at as you count the number of times she goes wrong! I’m not one for saving the no-hopers but if you put a water pistol to my head and asked me who entertained me most on the night I would have to honestly say that Nancy did! I just didn’t get Dan...I didn’t feel he connected with dancing very much. Nor did I get the impression he was enjoying the Strictly experience. I may be totally wrong, but that’s how it looked most of the time.
And you can be sure that at the very least Nancy is loving the publicity!
Take Dan, for example. Fine looking fella. A bit tall for Katya, if you ask me and as a result his Viennese Waltz to ‘Somebody to Love’ made me feel rather queasy due to the way he bobbed up and down like a storm-tossed galleon. At one point in proceedings I thought it was a case of ‘man overboard’ as he abandoned Katya and walked away...then I realised it was part of the dance. I’m not picking on Katya’s choreography here, but I’m afraid that Dan played it with the emotion of a piece of MDF plywood. I thought he’d done a Di’Angelo and was in search of a stair to sit and have a nervous breakdown on! Was it just me who took a few seconds to realise it was an actual legitimate part of the routine? I’m just not getting any chemistry between the two of them. They look like they get on okay but it seems as if he’s struggling to release his inner dancer, and I’m not sure he’s really enjoying the experience. It must be hard work doing ‘Daybreak’ and ‘Strictly’ so I sympathise, but I do wish he wouldn’t look so pouty and sulky whenever he gets a bad crit.
Bruno said it best, really. Given the passion in the words of the song, Dan didn’t seem to connect that emotion with the steps at all. Freddie 10, Dan 0.
Then on the other side of the fence you have Jason and Anita. I think we can safely say that Jason managed to dance the steps much better than Anita, but both manage to convey how much they love being on the show through their performance. Anita’s jive lacked energy and she didn’t really bend her knees and kick sharply enough, but the effort was fantastic. I like that Robin isn’t afraid to challenge her to do tricky steps, and considering many younger people have struggled with the dance it was to her credit that she managed to (mostly) keep up with her partner. Not a dance disarrrrrrster! But with a bit of luck she’ll get something elegant, sedate and ballroom-related next week to show off her feminine side rather than having to act like a High School cheerleader two weeks in a row! I know, I know...it was based on ‘Hairspray’ and the outfit suited the dance. Not convinced it did Anita any favours though!
Jason’s dance was the pinkest Tango I have ever seen. I have to commend Kristina for her excellent choreography this season. Up until now we’ve either had her trying to be clever to show her not very good partner’s best aspects, such as they were, or cover up their shortcomings, of which there were many. I used to unkindly refer to her as a ‘gusset-flasher’, that is to say someone who over-danced and exaggerated their own abilities to distract from the fact she was dragging her partner across the floor or hiding the fact they were shuffling shamefully from foot to foot like they were treading grapes in a vat. This is the year where, at the very least, Kristina gets to show the fact she is a serious choreographer.
And perhaps, given that this Tango was based on drag-queen movie Pricilla, Queen of the Desert, the little camp disco section in the middle was not as incongruous as it might have been! It was a thoroughly enjoyable routine, danced very well, and I will forgive Jason his weird facial expressions this time as they were clearly part of the whole routine. At least I think they were. If not, that’s one hell of a nervous tick he’s developed over the last few weeks! We’re week three and he’s getting straight 9s already. Things are looking rosy for Mr Donovan at the moment.
Harry’s not looking quite so rosy. At least his complexion isn’t, going by the ghostie white torso we saw all too much of during his ‘jive’ to ‘Grease Lightening’. Couldn’t makeup have given him a once-over with some spray tan? In a world where most dancers have about twenty layers of slap plastered over them poor little Harry stood out like an iceberg against the night sky. Was there ever a more baby-faced, hairlessly-chested Danny Zuko?
My one problem with it was Aliona’s choreography...I thought a jive was supposed to have jive steps in it? It would be interesting to see what percentage of jive was in there, but once again I was left feeling very unsatisfied with the finish product. It was like a badly made doughnut: all hole and no cake. On the upside it was probably the first time that Harry managed to perform the dance and give it some real welly. He acted his little socks off, and whilst I’m not the biggest fan of props the car at the start gave it a real flavour of the number. Nor did he spend much time faffing about to waste time.
Unlike Anton and Nancy. Although she improved on last week’s rag-doll salsa the best thing I could say was that the performance from the chair was very good.
Lulu, clad in a black and white 1960s style negligee (which only needed a few pom poms down the front and a ruff to make her look like a scary pierrot) put in a reasonable effort in her rumba. It was certainly beautiful to watch, but as with Harry there didn’t seem to be an awful lot of the recognised steps amongst the content. Brendan had warned everyone beforehand that the judges might not care for what he had planned, but the all seemed to like it well enough, save for Craig who rightly ticked Brenan off for...wait for it...putting in an illegal lift. Well, colour me surprised. An illegal lift from Brendan. Who’d have thunk it, eh? I mean, it’s not like he’s done it before. Apart from with Clare King. Oh, and Kelly Brook.
Previously, Len went berserk and told Brendan he had a screw loose for putting in illegal lifts. Craig ticked him off for spoiling an otherwise brilliant routine. Bruno said to hell with rules and gave him a 10 anyway. This time, Craig told Brendan he was deducting points for the illegal move as per the rules. Len said “you have to break a lot of eggs to make an omelette” and decided he was going to overlook the lift. Bruno just smiled mischievously to himself.
I know that you don’t want to be knocking Lulu’s confidence when it’s already the size of a microbe but rules are rules, and head judges are supposed to be head judges. A little consistency from Mr Goodman wouldn’t go amiss, methinks! We know Bruno’s barmy anyway so we’ll just ignore him for the time being.
Perhaps we could lock him in the cell with Holly! Resplendent in black Velma Kelly wig and a dress held on merely by the power of prayer you would have to be blind not to agree that Holly won first prize for most striking costume of the night! For once I actually liked the faffing about at the start as I felt it served its purpose as part of the storytelling, and there was genuine dancing involved. I felt however that she lost a little intensity as soon as she got into hold with Artem, and I’m not sure if it was the wig but the head snaps seemed to be slightly out of sync with her partner. The way she pulled the miscreant piece of dress from her stiletto heel deserves a round of applause. I actually didn’t notice it first time round, it was executed with such sleight of hand, but the four witches cackling behind their desks saw it nonetheless.
It’s been said a fair bit by other people but I kind of agree: I like both Artem and Holly, but I’m not sure I like them much together. There doesn’t seem to be much of a spark between them.
Probably something to do with Kara...
I feel like writing a school report for Audley.
Attitude: First class.
Footwork: Could do better.
Hand shaping: Unrecognisable.
Ability to move from the waist down: Compromised.
Engaging with the public: Very good!
He’s such a likeable chap, is Audley. He’s funky, he’s sweet, he’s charming...he’s not terribly confident and sometimes his large feet trip him up, but he always puts everything into it, and I like that. I think however that he desperately needs a little refining to take him up to the next level. If he doesn’t start that soon I recon the judges are going to mark him down and then he’s into dangerous territory.
Chelsee was scrappy again today. I don’t mean as in ‘Scrappy Doo’, although her bounding exuberance on the dance floor does remind me of Odie from Garfield. Somehow I expect her to dance with her tongue lolling out her mouth! She’s a little like Louise Lytton, in that she’s a young, whirling dervish who lights up the floor with her personality and fast footwork. There the similarities end: Louisa was also quite precise and knew how to tell a story through dance. Chelsee isn’t actually acting: she’s being herself (and just dancing as herself). I think this is what’s holding her back at the moment. Until she gets a big, dramatic dance like the tango or the Paso doble I don’t think we’re going to see the best of her.
Rory managed to shine in the capable hands of ballroom expert Erin. He also looked as if he was really enjoying himself on the dance floor. The posture is still a little stiff and hunched, but it seems as if he’s going to be a ballroom boy rather than a hot Latin lover, if his sharp work in the tail suit was anything to go by. You see, much as I have grown to like Erin – especially her clever choreography (dummy dancing apart) – she’s not the best of the Latin dancers out there. I mean, don’t get me wrong - this is how I see Erin’s Latin:
10
9
8 – Erin
7
6
5
4
3
2
Anton
She’s still pretty good. But if you’re skilled mainly in ballroom and you have a celeb who gets all coy and two left-footed when you stick a pink feather down their butt and put them in a rhinestone headband, you’re on a losing bet from the outset. Rory seems confident enough but I think he’ll struggle to look a credible samba dancer. If you don’t feel comfy deep down you won’t be able to express it outwardly. And I’m scared that the persona he adopts to dance the aforesaid samba when the time comes may be John Major. I can do without the image of the former PM in ruffles and tassels...
Still, his face shone with the delight of being able to wear that top hat. His eyes really sparkled with the joy of the dance. And his face resembled a cross between Chris Hollins’ wistful “trout pout” and a man who had spent minutes trying to remove his lips from a frozen ice lolly!
Mum and I came to the conclusion, after a little debate, that James Jordan is actually the most attractive of the male pro dancers. Sister went for Artem, whilst concluding that Pasha was potentially quite hot. The fact that my mother’s taste in men is converging on my own is rather disturbing, given that she is 68. Not as disturbing as that would be for James, however!
Alex seems to be growing in confidence. I say seems: I think most of them are still fairly petrified on show night with the possible exception of Jason. For a woman who couldn’t tell left from right to start with she’s learned a lot in a very few weeks. I have to confess she’s grown on me a little. The VW itself was very slow, very clever and very simple. Kudos to James for the beautiful choreography: there’s not much variation to this dance and making it interesting is a tricky prospect. If you can’t jazz up the steps you have to build the mood instead, and that is what they managed to do.
The man himself did say that sticking on a pair of cat ears and whiskers to dance a Viennese Waltz to ‘Memories’ from Cats would probably be inappropriate, and of course he’s right, but dammit; I wanted to see it! Sure it’d kill the mood stone dead but frankly I don’t care. I suppose at least they didn’t raise their tails to the lamppost...
Robbie’s dance was also impressive, although I think I preferred the previous week’s effort. Maybe it’s a tribute to how good I thought his dance last Saturday was that I came away from this Saturday’s smiling, yet slightly underwhelmed. I very much enjoyed what he did, although I think I spotted a few recycled moves from Ola’s Paso with Kenny Logan a few series back. I think Robbie’s beginning to enjoy this dancing malarkey! Typical sportsman. Stays in a few weeks having felt all self-conscious and girly, then suddenly they get their eyes on the main prize and – bingo! It’s as if they’ve had a sequin transfusion!
Oh, and Mr Savage: the hair looks much better tied back. Also, Mr Goodman won’t nag you half as much if you keep it drawn away from the nape of your neck. Makes it so much easier for the judges to stick their fangs in...
Russell was accused by Craig of being too camp with his foxtrot, which was slightly ironic, yet I do know what he meant. However, I thought it worked! It wasn’t sprinkled liberally throughout the whole dance, and the section that had the, shall we say less butch, aspects to it appeared totally in keeping with the theatricality of the whole show-biz infused evening. Dazzling in white with a little touch of yellow, Russell did resemble a peach meringue somewhat, but I’m really enjoying his partnership with Flavia. It seems that although he’s not the best dancer Flavia has taught he may well be the most enthusiastic and least self-conscious: Russell doesn’t give a damn who thinks he’s too camp, or too large. He’s having too much fun to care. And that is infectious!
I wasn’t surprised by the bottom two. I wasn’t surprised by who went either. Nor can I say I was upset by it.
Dan or Nancy? I mean, you’d have to say that Nancy has been worse than Dan each time they’ve danced. Thing is, one is uncomfortable to watch whilst the other at least you can shake your head at as you count the number of times she goes wrong! I’m not one for saving the no-hopers but if you put a water pistol to my head and asked me who entertained me most on the night I would have to honestly say that Nancy did! I just didn’t get Dan...I didn’t feel he connected with dancing very much. Nor did I get the impression he was enjoying the Strictly experience. I may be totally wrong, but that’s how it looked most of the time.
And you can be sure that at the very least Nancy is loving the publicity!
Monday 10 October 2011
Strictly: Week Two and results show 09/10/11
Anita Dobson poses in her salsa costume. The things you have to do on Strictly...
Chapter the second: in which Craig didn’t get his head bashed in by Audley, Robbie underwent a transformation, Lulu recovered her memory and Nancy...didn’t.
I’m never sure how the powers that be decide who dances in what order. I like to think it’s done more or less by couples pulling out a number from a cloth bag, you know: like in the world cup. I do find it slightly suspicious that they rolled out (no pun intended) the delightful Russell Grant at the very end. If ever there was a case of keeping the ‘show-stopper’ until the end, that was surely it! And then, back in the glory days of 2006, I think I can only ever recollect Mark & Karen going first on one occasion. Luck of the draw? Or the powers that be saving the best ‘til last?
First up then was Chelsee. Lordy, Pasha is patient. I’d have flushed that mobile phone of hers down the nearest loo. It isn’t Strictly Come Texting, me’ dearie! That said, for someone who the VTs are making out has an attention span of a hamster, she did rather well – again! There is something very natural about Chelsee’s dancing, in that it definitely comes from within and isn’t forced. It’s just that her natural bubbliness makes it difficult to restrain herself. I suppose if there’s a dance to go wild and have fun in then the salsa’s the one, but even salsa’s need to look fluid and controlled to an extent. There’s a difference between fun and barking mad, and at times Chelsee definitely teetered into deranged territory! The carwash trousers probably didn’t help, although I rather liked them. I’m sure Bruce called her a little ‘swizzle stick’; although frankly she reminded me more of a wire bottle brush...
Score: 29 out of 40. A fair mark for a fair dance. Hopefully Len’s lower extremities were suitably warmed by that salsa!
Ah, the lovely Vincento! And the, er...former MP otherwise known as Edwina. Now, our Vincent’s not daft. He knows the score. If Strictly was a horse race the betting would indicate she was a 100-1 outsider, whereas in reality she would be the game old plodder who breaks its leg prior to reaching the starting line. Edwina is not going to be winning this. Not a hope in Hades. And a less suspicious person than myself might think that Vincent was actually praying for a merciful elimination by doing exactly what Len hates: that is to say ‘faffing around’ at the start: a criticism aimed squarely at Anton last week shortly after boa-gate. If a pro gives a celeb a substantial amount of time-wasting with Uncle Len’s warning still ringing in everyone’s ears, it means either that the celeb can’t cope with anything other than simple choreography or he/she is desperate for the chop.
Vincent is a competitor at the end of the day, so I’m not sure why he thought ‘hang it; let’s play footsy under the table’ for 30 seconds and pfffft to the judges’. Edwina knew it as well, when they were picked up on it. What we were left with was a lot of non-dancing, a few seconds of foxtrot in hold, and the rest was fairly unmemorable. The judges, Len apart (who did mention the faffing about as anticipated), could have been a lot more critical. Maybe it would be as well if they were knocked out. At least it’s better than having Edwina trying to flirt with you.
Score: 19 out of 40. I think the judges were being kind. Except for Alesha, who appears to have taken a bitchiness pill tonight with her remarks! Justified? Well...probably!
Maybe someone had a discreet word in Craig’s ear, or maybe the dancing was of a higher standard this week, but for some reason the panel’s most accurate-scoring judge decided to temper his criticisms with a few words of encouragement for just about everyone. As a result Audley decided not to use the two concrete blocks at the end of his wrists and Mr Revel-Horwood’s nose remains a recognisable shape on his face.
I like Audley a lot. Like a lot of big men, however, he seems to struggle with the Latin dances, at least if this salsa is anything to go by. That’s not to say that powerful, tall chaps can’t be graceful or elegant, but it is more difficult to sell the faster dances if you’re built like a sequoia. Or shake your hips like you’ve been hewn from one using a blunt axe. There were bits in it I liked and it certainly wasn’t an unmitigated disaster: he sells his dancing well enough, and that big, magical smile definitely suggested he was enjoying being out on the dance floor. Having said that, whilst his upper body was fairly jiggling away like a good thing, and at times his lower body did too (although for the most part his hips looked as if they’d been superglued), the whole thing failed to work in tandem. The ‘Bionic Man’ run in the middle section was fairly awful as well. It would be a ten for effort, but in reality I wouldn’t have given it more than a six over all.
Score: 23 out of 40. Again, about right. If he’s still there next week those impressively large feet are going to have to be less flat, or the judges will pounce. Well, metaphorically speaking. In actuality they’ll be giving their critiques whilst cowering behind the desk...
I don’t think Mr Prescott was too worried about Alex Jones’ top line when she swished her way over to the audience, sat on his lap and planted a hot pink smacker on his cheek! I should perhaps clarify this by saying that it was part of the routine. What people get up to with politicians in their spare time is entirely their business and nobody else’s! This was much, much better from the Welsh presenter. She gave a complete performance: it was actually one of the few routines of the evening that genuinely conveyed the ability to tell a story through dance. Okay, so I’m channelling Arlene a tad there, but the point still stands. If she has the confidence to sell a dance like that then perhaps the week one nerves have been vanquished, and that can only stand her in good stead. But technically it was a bit wonky. Posture went slightly awry, and the top line fell to pieces increasingly as the dance went on. That said, if they stay in then James should be able to help sort that out. Even if it means upping the electrocution sessions.
Score: 29 out of 40. A respectable week two score. She looks so much more at ease in hold than when she is on her own in the Latin, looking like a demented air traffic controller.
A word about lifts. Apparently they are now allowed in the salsa. I have a bit of a problem with this, as they can break up the flow of the dance if they’re not executed with precision. Now, Dan is a big powerful chap. Not quite as big or powerful as Audley, but he can swing a girl around quite impressively. The problem for me with Dan’s salsa was that it looked as if it was learned in sections, performed on the night in sections, joined by the odd lift here and there, and appearing laboured and bitty as a result. Nothing was smooth or fluid. The hips were, for the most part, absent without leave. And the firing squad, er, judges, were inclined to agree.
Ah, Craig. How I do love thee sometimes! ‘Lumpestuous’ was his self-coined assessment of Dan’s dancing ability as far as the salsa went. Brilliant!
Score: 21 out of 40. I was going to say that it should have been less, but given that Edwina managed 19 and her ‘effort’ was far worse I guess it’s an accurate mark.
This week the Martians returned Lulu’s memory. Now, if they could transfer some confidence and a tiny bit of ability she might get somewhere! Seriously, I think Lulu is struggling a bit. I guess some people find dancing more natural than others (said she who moves like an arthritic octopus), and whilst Brendan doesn’t appear to be anything other than supportive I can’t help but think someone like Daren Bennett, had he still been on the show, would have been a better match. Whilst Lulu stumbled about clinging on for dear life, and Brendan gamely attempted to steer her around the room, she did manage to somehow convey a certain whimsical quality. In other words, there was just about enough storytelling to keep the thing from becoming car crash material. Good on them both. After last week it would have been so easy to go to pieces, and she didn’t.
Scores: 25 out of 40. Dreadful over-marking from Bruno and Alesha, but it may just help to give Lulu some confidence. If she stays in, that is.
Holly seems to have the arm placement and the hands sorted out, and it’s only week two. Artem’s obviously schooled her prodigiously on that! I can only make the same observation this week about Holly’s salsa as I did for her cha cha cha; the routine is fab, she dances it well, and yet there’s something missing from it. I think the love of dancing isn’t quite being conveyed through her eyes and her smile. There’s no sparkle to her. I’m sure it will come, given the chance. I can’t see her going anywhere soon. In some respects she reminds me of Rachel Stevens a few years back. The talent is there, but there’s something holding her back. If you could somehow distil Chelsee’s sense of fun into Holly, and Holly’s refinement into Chelsee, you’d have a complete dancer. It’ll be interesting to see which of them makes the most improvement respectively, but at this stage I agree with Alesha. You can’t put in what’s not there, but you can polish what is. For all Holly’s skill, I am actually enjoying Chelsee’s dancing more at this moment in time.
Scores: 30 out of 40. Not bad!
Rory Bremner’s impression of Sir Sean Connery is ssshertainly sshomething, but the Scottish bravado didn’t quite transfer to the dance floor. There was some mad dancing, a little bad dancing, and a fair amount of dad dancing. Yet it was somehow impossible not to enjoy it! Well, what I saw of it through splayed fingers. I thought it was more fun than Dan’s effort, and slightly less laboured than Audley’s, but it did complete an otherwise unmemorable trio of male salsas. But wait, what’s this? Do I hear the same music used by Matt Di Angelo and Flavia a few years back?
Craig didn’t care for it, He’s probably sore that Rory’s not impersonated him yet.
Scores: 22 out of 40. Better than Dan, some way below Audley. Things could get sticky if people don’t pick up the phone.
*Blows trumpet fanfare* And, ladies and gentlemen, the award for most improved celebrity dancer goes to...Robbie Savage!
Maybe I just go for shy dudes. Robbie had a reputation on the field of play, being a somewhat competitive bloke, for being a slightly dirty player. Of living up to his name, you might say. Certainly as the show progresses and if he’s still in it at halfway that competitive spirit will serve him in good stead. At the moment he’s still finding his feet, but given last week’s critical mauling he seems to have taken the judges advice and used it. Ola too managed to come up with an entertaining routine that showed Robbie off to his best advantage, unlike the previous week’s attempt. It was a very smooth, elegant, showy routine and once again this was a case of a celeb getting a hook – or in this case an umbrella – on the character and inhabiting that persona.
A vast improvement. Only Len is going to demand the hair be chopped, you can tell. He nagged Ramps about it and compared to him Robbie is sporting locks that Barbie would be proud of!
Scores: 29 out of 40. I actually enjoyed it more than Holly’s salsa, and that’s saying something because to me the Foxtrot is the equivalent of dance tapioca. That’s not to say it’s meant to have lumps: merely that I find it unappealing.
Oh dear. Wardrobe department controversy! Anita looks as if she’s channelling Bertie Bassett. What on earth is that poor woman wearing?!? Seriously, it’s like Cruella De Ville meets the Kandyman from Dr Who!!! And as for Robin...is anyone missing their favourite Dalmatian?
Now, I love Anita. I’m not saying she can’t do Latin because I think the jury’s out on that until she does some more. I think she’ll be okay on the Paso Doble. Not so sure about the Samba or the Cha Cha Cha. She seemed to have a few timing issues during a quite fast routine to one of my favourite pieces of music, care of Mr Belafonte. I said it could look like mad Auntie Marjory after electric shock treatment and, to be honest, it’s kind of what we got. Slightly scruffy, a bit ragged, yet lots of fun. The judges saw something in it they liked; I expected them to be a lot pickier. I think Anita did as well going by the look of trepidation on her face.
Maybe they gave her a few points for having the guts to go on stage looking like she was Wurzel Gummidge’s beloved Aunt Sally.
Scores: 28 out of 40. Could’ve been worse. Next week I hope the costumiers give her something really glam to wear.
Jason Donovan. A born performer; talent honed with years spent in musical theatre. And at the end of the day if you can perform daily to thousands live you probably have a chance at being able to sell a dance to an audience of however many hundred. And he did it with some style and energy: it was absolutely wonderful. There are moments when he briefly seems to come out of the dance and lose control of his facial expressions though, which is a tad weird, especially as it gives him the appearance of looking utterly perplexed and startled. And as for Kristina’s Jessica Rabbit dress: I want it! Well, I want to hang it up in the wardrobe and look at it...I wouldn’t get one leg in it.
Scores: 33 out of 40. A worthy score.
If ever a dance could scare, it’s Anton doing the salsa. Add Nancy to the mix and you have the biggest Fright Night recipe. Apart from Nancy’s attempts to shake her tush at the start everything else went as wrong as it possibly could...I didn’t think anything would surpass Anton’s dreadful attempt at the salsa with Kate Garroway but boy, oh boy: this eclipsed it and then some! Now, it’s easy to criticise from the safety of your comfy sofa whilst the poor celebs are being humiliated for the discerning public, and I applaud each and every one of them for having the courage to get up on the dance floor, watched by millions of people each week. That said, poor Nancy isn’t helping herself. If she doesn’t display a little humility her journey’s going to be a mighty short one. Unless the sadistic barstewards keep voting her in...
Beautiful some might consider Nancy to be, but she’s not a natural dancer. In that I sympathise. But that’s sort of where my sympathy ends. Look at Russell! See how much he loves it! The smile on his face when he goes out to dance is not put on, even although he’s not the best! And somehow, rather than feeling sorry for herself, Nancy’s got to take it on the chin like a trooper. Sportsmen and women take criticism and use it to improve themselves. They don’t bleat on about poorly legs. Blimey, Bill Turnbull’s foot was almost septic and he danced on! What is poor Nancy going to be like in the unlikely event she gets to the end of the contest? I think Anton will be begging for death...
Having danced with the grace of an elephant seal shot out of a canon, missed steps, messed up their timing and generally looked like they were taking part in a mud wrestling contest, the judges were in no mood to be kind to Anton and Nancy. Alesha got her claws out once again and asked if the routine was meant to be funny, or if it just appeared that way. As you might guess it didn’t go down well with Nancy.
Scores: 14 out of 40. Bruno said it set new records for a routine having the most mistakes in it, and Anton looked like he wished he still had that feather boa to strangle Nancy with.
Smiling doesn’t seem to come naturally to Harry, which is a pity because he looks like a deeply thoughtful, if overwrought young man. I’m sure off set he’s the life and soul of the party, but the concentration he’s putting in means that you can almost see his brain whirling with each and every step. And those steps are fine, but everything seems so reserved and considered. I said it last week and I’ll say it again: get the acting coach in pronto. That was a beautiful Foxtrot, but it only made me want to put a blanket on his shoulders and give the poor waif a hug!
Not to mention one of those plastic collars that they put round cats to stop them scratching. It might help him to keep his eyes up!
Scores: 27 out of 40. Maybe a tad under marked? I bet Aliona won’t take it to heart. She doesn’t listen to the judges anyway.
Ah, the wonder that is Russell Grant! Entertainment in one larger than life parcel! You can say what you like about Russell; he’s having so much fun. Strictly is all about entertaining the public and Russell does exactly that. Whilst I’m not sure how many weeks the public can take of seeing him shake his hips around to camp Abba numbers, if he can show some genuine improvement along with him having a good time, there’s no reason why he can’t keep getting through.
And if you thought the cha cha cha was camp, take a look at the salsa on YouTube! How much fun did Flavia look like she was having?!?
Scores: 25 out of 40. Probably about right, although when you compare it to Lulu and Brendan’s effort which received the same score I feel tempted to demand a recount!
And so, in the end, it was goodbye Edwina. She didn’t want to go. Vincent looked sad too, although I bet there was a small part of him that was relieved. He said he hadn’t expected to have fun with a politician.
Better not comment!
***
Vincent on It Takes Two admitted he was devastated to be out the show and thought he may have made the wrong choice of choreography from a story telling point of view. I don't care whether it was true or not: I just wanted to hug him! Bless!
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