On with day two, and an unexpected bonus in the shape of a certain Mr Ramprakash in the audience. Rampants everywhere were extremely happy for all of three seconds, although my main concern was that, given the recent history of standing up to applaud if Bruno so much as sneezes, his dodgy knee may not take it! I spent most of the evening angrily shouting at the screen for the audience to sit down, much to my dad’s bemusement!
And now to the dance that I mentioned in the first paragraph of my previous report: the one whose style my dad couldn’t place. Scott and Natalie’s Charleston was novel, dressed as he was like Popeye the sailor man in a white outfit that looked as if it had come straight from ‘South Pacific’. It was a good attempt to break away from the traditional Charleston mould, but in losing the 1920s Speakeasy feel some of the character of the dance was lost, and to be honest I thought most of the judges would like it less than they did. Additionally, there were sections where Scott just seemed to stand there and let Natalie do all the work. I think these two have run out of steam, just about. It’s a real shame because they were so good at the start of the show, but I guess Scott’s acting schedules have caught up with him and it’s left him looking alarmingly drained and fatigued. Overall it didn’t impress me, but nor did it offend me either. A solid 8 would be my score for Scott.
Oh, here we go again. Footgate, round two! This time the Kara fans are mumping because it didn’t get four tens, when yet again Kara’s foot came off the floor, and yet again Craig decided it fell a gnat’s crotchet short of perfection. Did the others spot it? If they didn’t then you could forgive them but wonder why they didn’t when Craig did. And if they did and they overlooked it, you have to start questioning their collective wisdom (such as it is).
The fact is that Kara and Artem produced a stunning rumba, a dance that usually reminds me of watching Dr Who behind the sofa as a child because it can be that scary. It wasn’t quite as good as Rachel and Vincent’s rumba, in my opinion, but there was a lot of quality, beautiful shaping and fantastic line yet again. Kara does almost look professional, and she is extremely good to watch whatever she does. She really suited the outfit as well, although the hair was a tad weird! Ah, if only that foot hadn’t come off the floor again! And considering how much Kara hated doing the rumba, it’s to her credit that she completed it with such panache. It’s an almost 10 from me, and that’s saying something considering I usually find rubbing my forehead with sandpaper preferable to watching a rumba...
I was a bit dismissive of Matt’s tango last night so I went back and had another look at it, because the general consensus was that it improved on repeat viewing. And indeed it does. It was a very strong, masculine turn from Matt, as if to back up my previous assertion that when he ‘gets’ a character or a technical dance he knows how to tackle it. There was the necessary aggression, power and passion and even the choreography seemed much better second time round than I had initially remembered. I’d thought him over marked at first, but I think in fairness the judges awarded him the scores he deserved for the dance. Credit to him for coming back and dancing so well given the verbal mauling of the night before, which must have still been ringing in his ears. I still don’t think he always sells a dance as well as he could performance-wise, but this was better than I had given him credit for. A 9 or and 8.5 for me. I must have been bored last night.
Ah, here’s the reason for the boredom. Now, with my minimal knowledge of ballroom dancing – and it is minimal, so bear with me – I thought that going ‘up and down’ in a Viennese Waltz was considered a bad thing? Was I the only one who thought that the first section of Gavin’s routine had more rise and fall than the Roman Empire? Or did I imagine that? I’m not re-watching it to find out: I felt mind- numbed enough by it the first time round. There was a small timing issue with one section (or if you are Craig, a large issue) which caused Katya to bristle in defence of her partner. Oh dear, Katya. Rule number one: never argue back against the pantomime villain judges. The viewers don’t like it and it will cost you votes. Still, Gavin is much more watchable in ballroom than Latin. And tomorrow I hope to be watching him Viennese Waltz off into the sunset, because he’s stayed a few weeks too many in my opinion.
I watched Pamela’s dance back too and I have to say that I’m split on this. It was probably a tad heavy, and this being the case it probably wasn’t worth a 10. Mind you, I thought the same thing when I saw it initially. There was a lot to like about it: I’m not one for aimless faffing about but at least I thought the faffing with the canes and hats was in context of the performance, so I’m just tempted to let James away with it. And the actual performance, as ever, was fantastic. In terms of performance she’s the best of the five left. In terms of dancing I’d maybe only put her third or fourth, depending on if Scott’s having a good day or not. But she must be charming the judges with what she’s done because out came the four 10s again! And for that matter, out came the conspiracy theorists as well, arguing that the judges wanted to make sure their precious Pamela was safe. Well, there is a precedent I suppose. Emma Bunton, anyone?
I didn’t mind the 40 for the Viennese Waltz because it was beautiful and because Erin said it was flawless – and as Erin is queen of ballroom its good enough for me. This one...I can’t really defend it. I don’t think it was full house material. But it was the dance I enjoyed most over the two nights, so perhaps perfection isn’t that important after all?
Sunday 12 December 2010
Strictly: Week Eleven - Friday
I caught my dad watching Strictly. Ha ha! I’m sure if you asked him he would say he just happened to glance up at the screen, but the fact he actually asked what kind of dance it was showed that he had more than a sneaky interest. It also showed that it wasn’t readily apparent which dance it was. More on that in part two!
I’d better start with Friday’s festivities first of all, whilst I can still remember them. Digital Spy forumites (aka the ‘Pit of Vipers’) had quite a bit to say about the performances and indeed the scoring of these dances. Mind you, it doesn’t take much to stir them into aggrieved indignation. All this student tuition fee riot malarkey that’s going on at the moment is nothing compared to the tantrums being thrown out in deepest internet land!
Chief target and public enemy number one seems to be Pamela Stephenson. As far as I can gather from the various threads that keep cropping up, Pamela is hated because she’s insincere, simpering, a self-publicist, a gusset/thigh flasher, always reminding everyone she’s a ‘woman of a certain age’ and married to Billy Connolly. She’s also over marked by the judges and simply not naturally as gifted as Kara.
Well, people like different things in folks at a guess. It’s possible, being open to interpretation, that she may be guilty of the first five, definitely of number six (for ‘tis a fact), and number seven is looking possible – although she isn’t really in control of how the judges vote, to be fair to the woman. And as for number eight, you can’t put in what God didn’t give you. Kara is just naturally brilliant and it’s no sin to come up short in certain respects when compared to her.
I like Pamela. I don’t care if she gushes: I simply enjoy watching her dance. I like her relationship with James. I do think she’s done brilliantly for someone her age. I can understand people being sick of hearing about the whole ‘flying the flag for older woman’ thing but that’s the BBC’s fault for pushing this angle. And if she is showing a lot of guts and determination, so what? The fact she’s also a good dancer seems to be getting lost in this whole age thing. I have queried the judges scores myself of late, but they are clearly seeing something that I haven’t in dishing out the tens. It doesn’t mean I don’t think Pamela’s a good dancer. Of those left she is the one I most look forward to each week, and that is probably the best compliment I can give.
You see, it comes down to many things in the end and chief amongst this is the partnership. If I like one half but not the other, then I find it difficult to vote. I never really got the whole ‘Tom and Camilla’ thing, but I didn’t have a favourite that year so it didn’t really matter. I didn’t see enough of ‘Brendan and Natasha’ to comment, but the other winning partnerships were amongst the standout ones in their respective years. Chris owed much of his win to the double act he had with Ola, and ‘Mark and Karen’ were probably the best dance pairing Strictly has had.
Of the contestants still standing this year Pam and James are the couple I most enjoy watching. Matt and Aliona haven’t quite convinced me as being dynamic enough as a duo, Scott and Natalie are fun but they don’t have any real chemistry, Gavin and Katya are as amusing to watch as a wallpapering DVD and Kara, who I love, and Artem, who I also love, have a certain frisson (but ultimately doesn’t appeal to my utterly non-romantic soul). So I personally would be happy to see ‘granny’ in the final three, even if she’s not going to win.
On with the dances. I think the Paso Doble outfit was Pamela’s best costume: a sort of cerise, Rennie-McIntosh design with black edging. It was very dramatically performed without tipping over into comedic farce, a fine line that is often crossed in Strictly (which is littered with Paso’s that are so overwrought that you don’t know whether to laugh or hide behind a cushion: see Linda Bellingham). I notice that chair work is the new 2010 big thing: first Kara’s sublime tango de chaise and now Pamela as Great Chief Sitting Bull. There were, as Craig spotted, a few errors and he marked her down accordingly, but if the technical side wasn’t so hot she at least nailed the performance side of it. And I think a big ‘well done’ needs to be said to James for coming up with any workable routine to a Lady GaGa track! At first I thought it was a 9, and then I thought an 8. I’m not sure now...I think the truth lies somewhere between, but if we are rounding up then it’s a slightly reluctant 9 from me.
I said earlier that Kara cannot be beaten for grace, elegance and artistry and I stand by that. When you compare Kara and Pamela it’s like putting a Titian next to something by Munch. Both have their merits, both are distinct, but one is more recognisable as a painting. Artem choreographed a complex, frisky, sultry and classy Viennese Waltz (which in itself is a difficult thing to do given that it has three steps and not very much else to recommend it); to quite a moody piece of music which gave it an unusual take on what is traditionally a fluffy kitten of a dance. It was, as Craig intimated, pretty near perfect – close enough for the three blind judges next to him not to notice the fact her foot twice came off the ground, making the move an illegal, if unintentional, lift. But Craig spots things like that. Heck, I even spotted it and I am not the worlds’ most observant person!
So, when does a lift become illegal? When it is done deliberately in a bid to flout the rules (Clare King and Brendan Cole in series 4, anyone)? Or just when the tiniest gap between toe and floor develops? The Kara supporters on DS were certainly riled by Craig’s unwillingness to overlook the fault, and possibly he could have if it had happened only once, but twice is asking a bit much where Craig’s concerned. Remember Mark and Karen’s sublime AT in 2006? One tiny nanosecond out of synch in the opening shadow movement was the difference between a full set of 10s and three of the blighters. If people are expecting Craig not to notice these things they are in cloud cuckoo land...
It was another case of a moral 10 for Kara, but a 9 nonetheless. Again, I wish there were 0.5s on offer, just so I could make the difference clearer, but if I had such a thing it would be a 9.5.
Gavin’s samba was awkward, there’s no other way of putting it. It had some pretty groovy hip movement at the start but it went rapidly downhill from then on. There were timing issues, and also moments where Gavin’s feet looked rooted in cement. I do like the fact that that he enjoyed it, and yes I – almost – felt sorry for him because he didn’t seem to think it was as bad as it really appeared to everyone else except the most loyal Henson devotees! I also think he looked very good in his shirt (as opposed to out of it, as per usual), but in all other respects I can’t help but feel he’s gone as far as he can in this competition. Despite her valiant, fighting spirit I get the feeling that Katya thinks the same. The biggest complement I can give Gavin? That he used the same music as Chris Parker did in series 1 for his Paso Doble, and that on a scale of one to ten, he beat Chris into a cocked hat, except in the unintentional laugh stakes!
Scott isn’t really made for the Argentine Tango. He’s a little tall, and not very Gaucho. There’s not really much he can do about either. Unfortunately, he seemed to have been stuck with a piece of music that was so slow that it meant he ended up with a somewhat reserved and introverted dance instead of intense and passionate. The footwork was by and large okay but the end result was a rather disconnected and uninvolving affair; in fact it was possibly the most boring Argentine Tango I’ve seen on the show since Brendan and the long-legged Lisa Snowden back in 2008. Hell, I even enjoyed Ali and Brian’s hilarious AT last year more: now that was a tango to remember! Ali’s lipstick was my primary source of entertainment. She looked like a child that had raided its mothers wardrobe and makeup bag, found the reddest shade of lip-gloss imaginable and then slapped it randomly on her face!
Alas, Scott didn’t even have luminous cherry lips to add something to the routine, and it slithered totally off my personal radar and into the abyss of utterly unmemorable Strictly routines. He’ll have to go some to stay in the contest now.
Ah...now here comes the main source of controversy. Matt Baker: big, rough, tough, sheep farming, welly wearing, macho former Blue Peter presenting Matt Baker almost reduced to tears by a gaggle of nasty, vicious judges! How the Baker fans on DS howled! Their man’s bottom lip had barely stopped wobbling when they were on-line venting their spleens at the horrific singling out that Matt had received. And the source of the stramash? The salsa!
My word, it wasn’t what anyone was expecting! The training had looked so promising. I’m not entirely sure where it went wrong, but it did appear to have been ‘overworked’, that is to say that there was so much intensity and power that the flowing, smooth, rippling that you associate with the dance and its intricate armography ended up being lost. I’m at a loss as to why a man who can handle the bouncy campiness of the samba can’t quite master a salsa: if anything the samba is more technical. Perhaps that is actually the answer: give Matt something intricate and difficult, where he can use his brain, and he will shine. For whatever reason he never really mastered the joyous party vibe that the salsa requires and it all ended up incredibly meh, like lumpy custard. He received straight sevens, reminiscent of Mark’s rather horrible Foxtrot. Both men must have experienced crushing disappointment, but being a sportsman Ramps was able to hide that sinking feeling away, whereas the shock and disbelief that poor Matt displayed was easy to read on his face.
It was unfortunate that Matt had discovered a dance so late on that didn’t suit him. His dismay was not remotely faked, but the fact that he appeared almost on the verge of tears after the unanimous condemnation by the judges will no doubt move his supporters – and floating viewers – to pick up the phone and vote. Aliona cannot solely be blamed for the blip in Matt’s form, although her routines are so showy and bogged down with little flashy bits and pieces that it looks as if she’s already rehearsing her show dance for the final! And again, rather like Pamela, Matt got saddled with a piece of music that did not scream ‘salsa’ and I doubt it helped him get in the party mood.
Not to worry, Matt. Many have tried and most have failed to get a maximum score in the salsa. You’re in rather good company when all is said and done. And let’s not forget, the person who did manage it was pretty darned excellent...
I’d better start with Friday’s festivities first of all, whilst I can still remember them. Digital Spy forumites (aka the ‘Pit of Vipers’) had quite a bit to say about the performances and indeed the scoring of these dances. Mind you, it doesn’t take much to stir them into aggrieved indignation. All this student tuition fee riot malarkey that’s going on at the moment is nothing compared to the tantrums being thrown out in deepest internet land!
Chief target and public enemy number one seems to be Pamela Stephenson. As far as I can gather from the various threads that keep cropping up, Pamela is hated because she’s insincere, simpering, a self-publicist, a gusset/thigh flasher, always reminding everyone she’s a ‘woman of a certain age’ and married to Billy Connolly. She’s also over marked by the judges and simply not naturally as gifted as Kara.
Well, people like different things in folks at a guess. It’s possible, being open to interpretation, that she may be guilty of the first five, definitely of number six (for ‘tis a fact), and number seven is looking possible – although she isn’t really in control of how the judges vote, to be fair to the woman. And as for number eight, you can’t put in what God didn’t give you. Kara is just naturally brilliant and it’s no sin to come up short in certain respects when compared to her.
I like Pamela. I don’t care if she gushes: I simply enjoy watching her dance. I like her relationship with James. I do think she’s done brilliantly for someone her age. I can understand people being sick of hearing about the whole ‘flying the flag for older woman’ thing but that’s the BBC’s fault for pushing this angle. And if she is showing a lot of guts and determination, so what? The fact she’s also a good dancer seems to be getting lost in this whole age thing. I have queried the judges scores myself of late, but they are clearly seeing something that I haven’t in dishing out the tens. It doesn’t mean I don’t think Pamela’s a good dancer. Of those left she is the one I most look forward to each week, and that is probably the best compliment I can give.
You see, it comes down to many things in the end and chief amongst this is the partnership. If I like one half but not the other, then I find it difficult to vote. I never really got the whole ‘Tom and Camilla’ thing, but I didn’t have a favourite that year so it didn’t really matter. I didn’t see enough of ‘Brendan and Natasha’ to comment, but the other winning partnerships were amongst the standout ones in their respective years. Chris owed much of his win to the double act he had with Ola, and ‘Mark and Karen’ were probably the best dance pairing Strictly has had.
Of the contestants still standing this year Pam and James are the couple I most enjoy watching. Matt and Aliona haven’t quite convinced me as being dynamic enough as a duo, Scott and Natalie are fun but they don’t have any real chemistry, Gavin and Katya are as amusing to watch as a wallpapering DVD and Kara, who I love, and Artem, who I also love, have a certain frisson (but ultimately doesn’t appeal to my utterly non-romantic soul). So I personally would be happy to see ‘granny’ in the final three, even if she’s not going to win.
On with the dances. I think the Paso Doble outfit was Pamela’s best costume: a sort of cerise, Rennie-McIntosh design with black edging. It was very dramatically performed without tipping over into comedic farce, a fine line that is often crossed in Strictly (which is littered with Paso’s that are so overwrought that you don’t know whether to laugh or hide behind a cushion: see Linda Bellingham). I notice that chair work is the new 2010 big thing: first Kara’s sublime tango de chaise and now Pamela as Great Chief Sitting Bull. There were, as Craig spotted, a few errors and he marked her down accordingly, but if the technical side wasn’t so hot she at least nailed the performance side of it. And I think a big ‘well done’ needs to be said to James for coming up with any workable routine to a Lady GaGa track! At first I thought it was a 9, and then I thought an 8. I’m not sure now...I think the truth lies somewhere between, but if we are rounding up then it’s a slightly reluctant 9 from me.
I said earlier that Kara cannot be beaten for grace, elegance and artistry and I stand by that. When you compare Kara and Pamela it’s like putting a Titian next to something by Munch. Both have their merits, both are distinct, but one is more recognisable as a painting. Artem choreographed a complex, frisky, sultry and classy Viennese Waltz (which in itself is a difficult thing to do given that it has three steps and not very much else to recommend it); to quite a moody piece of music which gave it an unusual take on what is traditionally a fluffy kitten of a dance. It was, as Craig intimated, pretty near perfect – close enough for the three blind judges next to him not to notice the fact her foot twice came off the ground, making the move an illegal, if unintentional, lift. But Craig spots things like that. Heck, I even spotted it and I am not the worlds’ most observant person!
So, when does a lift become illegal? When it is done deliberately in a bid to flout the rules (Clare King and Brendan Cole in series 4, anyone)? Or just when the tiniest gap between toe and floor develops? The Kara supporters on DS were certainly riled by Craig’s unwillingness to overlook the fault, and possibly he could have if it had happened only once, but twice is asking a bit much where Craig’s concerned. Remember Mark and Karen’s sublime AT in 2006? One tiny nanosecond out of synch in the opening shadow movement was the difference between a full set of 10s and three of the blighters. If people are expecting Craig not to notice these things they are in cloud cuckoo land...
It was another case of a moral 10 for Kara, but a 9 nonetheless. Again, I wish there were 0.5s on offer, just so I could make the difference clearer, but if I had such a thing it would be a 9.5.
Gavin’s samba was awkward, there’s no other way of putting it. It had some pretty groovy hip movement at the start but it went rapidly downhill from then on. There were timing issues, and also moments where Gavin’s feet looked rooted in cement. I do like the fact that that he enjoyed it, and yes I – almost – felt sorry for him because he didn’t seem to think it was as bad as it really appeared to everyone else except the most loyal Henson devotees! I also think he looked very good in his shirt (as opposed to out of it, as per usual), but in all other respects I can’t help but feel he’s gone as far as he can in this competition. Despite her valiant, fighting spirit I get the feeling that Katya thinks the same. The biggest complement I can give Gavin? That he used the same music as Chris Parker did in series 1 for his Paso Doble, and that on a scale of one to ten, he beat Chris into a cocked hat, except in the unintentional laugh stakes!
Scott isn’t really made for the Argentine Tango. He’s a little tall, and not very Gaucho. There’s not really much he can do about either. Unfortunately, he seemed to have been stuck with a piece of music that was so slow that it meant he ended up with a somewhat reserved and introverted dance instead of intense and passionate. The footwork was by and large okay but the end result was a rather disconnected and uninvolving affair; in fact it was possibly the most boring Argentine Tango I’ve seen on the show since Brendan and the long-legged Lisa Snowden back in 2008. Hell, I even enjoyed Ali and Brian’s hilarious AT last year more: now that was a tango to remember! Ali’s lipstick was my primary source of entertainment. She looked like a child that had raided its mothers wardrobe and makeup bag, found the reddest shade of lip-gloss imaginable and then slapped it randomly on her face!
Alas, Scott didn’t even have luminous cherry lips to add something to the routine, and it slithered totally off my personal radar and into the abyss of utterly unmemorable Strictly routines. He’ll have to go some to stay in the contest now.
Ah...now here comes the main source of controversy. Matt Baker: big, rough, tough, sheep farming, welly wearing, macho former Blue Peter presenting Matt Baker almost reduced to tears by a gaggle of nasty, vicious judges! How the Baker fans on DS howled! Their man’s bottom lip had barely stopped wobbling when they were on-line venting their spleens at the horrific singling out that Matt had received. And the source of the stramash? The salsa!
My word, it wasn’t what anyone was expecting! The training had looked so promising. I’m not entirely sure where it went wrong, but it did appear to have been ‘overworked’, that is to say that there was so much intensity and power that the flowing, smooth, rippling that you associate with the dance and its intricate armography ended up being lost. I’m at a loss as to why a man who can handle the bouncy campiness of the samba can’t quite master a salsa: if anything the samba is more technical. Perhaps that is actually the answer: give Matt something intricate and difficult, where he can use his brain, and he will shine. For whatever reason he never really mastered the joyous party vibe that the salsa requires and it all ended up incredibly meh, like lumpy custard. He received straight sevens, reminiscent of Mark’s rather horrible Foxtrot. Both men must have experienced crushing disappointment, but being a sportsman Ramps was able to hide that sinking feeling away, whereas the shock and disbelief that poor Matt displayed was easy to read on his face.
It was unfortunate that Matt had discovered a dance so late on that didn’t suit him. His dismay was not remotely faked, but the fact that he appeared almost on the verge of tears after the unanimous condemnation by the judges will no doubt move his supporters – and floating viewers – to pick up the phone and vote. Aliona cannot solely be blamed for the blip in Matt’s form, although her routines are so showy and bogged down with little flashy bits and pieces that it looks as if she’s already rehearsing her show dance for the final! And again, rather like Pamela, Matt got saddled with a piece of music that did not scream ‘salsa’ and I doubt it helped him get in the party mood.
Not to worry, Matt. Many have tried and most have failed to get a maximum score in the salsa. You’re in rather good company when all is said and done. And let’s not forget, the person who did manage it was pretty darned excellent...
Result - 05/12/10
The iceberg has melted!!!
Anne's previous titanic efforts could not be matched, and the American Smooth finally did for the comedy antics of Anne and Anton. After all the weeks of laughter, complaints that better dancers were going, controversy, low scores, swinging from harnesses and near double hernias, Strictly's most unlikely duo finally departed from the dancefloor. Finding themselves in the bottom two with Scotttttttt (much to Bruno's unhappiness) team Widdebec fell at the quarterfinal stage. Some would say it was long overdue; others will be sad to see the fun factor go.
Farewell, Anne. It's been riotous, it's been ghastly - but it's rarely been dull!
Anne's previous titanic efforts could not be matched, and the American Smooth finally did for the comedy antics of Anne and Anton. After all the weeks of laughter, complaints that better dancers were going, controversy, low scores, swinging from harnesses and near double hernias, Strictly's most unlikely duo finally departed from the dancefloor. Finding themselves in the bottom two with Scotttttttt (much to Bruno's unhappiness) team Widdebec fell at the quarterfinal stage. Some would say it was long overdue; others will be sad to see the fun factor go.
Farewell, Anne. It's been riotous, it's been ghastly - but it's rarely been dull!
Sunday 5 December 2010
Strictly: Week Ten
This may be a slightly condensed review. One of my darling cats decided to disappear in the cold and snow for the best part of a day, and to be perfectly honest I wasn’t really in the mood to take notes under the circumstances. The little blighter re-appeared on the stroke of midnight, having kept us fretting all day, and if it wasn’t for Strictly providing a small window of light relief I may have been even more of an emotional wreck than I was.
I quite like the idea of a ‘movie’ themed night; although I did wonder if this might mean shoehorning ideas into dances that didn’t quite go. Take Scott Maslen and his 007-look Paso Doble. I wanted to like this more than I actually did. It was certainly powerful, and yes it was dramatic, and he danced it with passion and intent. But to be honest, there didn’t seem to be much magic about it. When I look back on the brilliant Paso’s, such as Austin’s or Ramps’, they both seemed to maintain that Spanish machismo that was sadly washed away by the famous James Bond theme, and I’m afraid that no amount of foot stomping and gratuitous tearing of shirts will make up for it. I’m not anti tearing shirts, for the record (depending who is wearing it). Natalie’s attempts at Ursula Andress somehow only managed to look rather cheap, like a budget Honey Ryder. Not that I want people thinking I’m Mary Whitehouse reincarnate, but I’m not sure that the nearly naked look works for a Paso. It certainly works for Bond, but then you have that juxtaposition I referred to earlier where both elements result in something not entirely appropriate.
Still, Scott did so much better than last week. All the steps appeared to be occur without much mishap but I personally found his total of 35 to be, once again, a little too high...
Anne Widdecombe must have been dreaming of a 35 total. I think it’s been a while since Anton saw one as well! It was interesting to see how, over the last week, people close to the show are now subtly but surely beginning to reach for the knives where team Widdebec are concerned. Now, at the quarter final stages, there seems to be a genuine feeling that it should be the dancers that make it to the final rather than the, shall we say, ‘novelty acts’. Anne’s chief problem was that her American Smooth contained nothing that was (deliberately) amusing. The lifts were genuinely impressive; I’d feared for Anton’s T7 and 8 vertebrae earlier in the week and had wondered if perhaps the idea of dancing the semi’s in a wheelchair might be their latest gimmick! Lifts apart, there wasn’t very much that was genuinely smooth about it, but thankfully they stopped short of following Scott’s lead and ripping Anton’s shirt open...
Alesha was surprisingly blunt to Anne. She didn’t quite say “sling yer’ bleedin’ hook” but it wasn’t far short of it.
I wasn’t very keen on Matt’s Austin Powers jive. By its nature a jive should never be dorky, goofy and be composed entirely of ‘schwinnnnnng!’ I watched it with a mixture of astonishment, admiration and embarrassment: in the end I wasn’t quite sure what I was supposed to feel. I’m not knocking Matt’s Austin Powers impression, which was rather good, or the fact that he threw himself into it with aplomb, in a way that I don’t think he has previously. I reckon that the character was so extreme that he excelled purely because it wasn’t Matt Baker on display, but a well known film character! But the dance itself left me feeling distinctly unmoved, and actually rather bored. Too slow for a jive, and just...too un-jivey!
The least said about the vote-snaring gymnastics the better. I don’t really agree with the maxim that “if you can do something well, do it.” I could tear off all my clothes and streak round the Oval, but I don’t. I wouldn’t inflict that horror on anyone...
Now, hands up who thought Pammy was going to get a nice big 40-shaped birthday surprise? You could see it waiting to happen. Claudia appeared to be priming Craig with the notion, and when the theme from ‘Ghost’ was revealed on ITT I thought Craig was going to burst into tears. And Len, he likes a good-old fashioned ballroom dance. And Bruno; he’s partial to a bit of romance. You could just tell that the configuration of the stars had aligned themselves into a favourable pattern on Pam’s big day to result in the first maximum score of the series. Even hubby Billy C was there to witness it.
I’m going to be controversial. I actually enjoyed this dance more than Kara’s tango. There: I’ve said it. The chuntering on the forums seem to suggest that Pamela is the anti-Christ because she got there before Kara in the big four zero stakes, and that Kara was dreadfully under-marked. Now, I’ve already said that I reckon that Kara should win the whole shebang but that’s not going to stop me from saying that, whilst I thought Pamela’s dance was worth four 9s, I thought the same of Kara’s as well. And what puts Pamela’s above Kara’s? Because it managed to touch the fluffy side of my nature that, frankly, I thought had long shrivelled up like a mouldy cucumber, forgotten in the vegetable compartment of a fridge-freezer. My inner vixen still functions perfectly normally so perhaps I found Kara’s tango less captivating, but when something beautiful comes along and makes me want to snuggle into a slanket, I have to whip out my metaphorical 10. Even if it was really a 9.
Hell’s teeth: did I say that? I’m behaving like Bruno now!
It shouldn’t be about age, and it isn’t really, but I would like to make one point. Pamela’s pretty much a marmite person and that is why I don’t think she is going to win the show, but credit where it’s due: having got into the semi finals at the age of 61 (and done it on merit) she will be the oldest person in 8 series to have made it that far, and that is something worthy of acknowledgement.
Gavin was back in hold this evening. Hurrah! Unfortunately he was doing a Foxtrot, and I cannot abide the wretched dance, so for me he’s lost points just by turning up. He was, however, so much better than he’s been previously, which was heartening if you are a Henson supporter. I still find him a little unnatural and forced at times: I think Katya herself said that it doesn’t come naturally to Gavin, which is possibly why his eyes sometimes seem to glaze over in concentration. As someone who has never been especially kind to Gavin’s many imperfections it is to his great credit that he has got this far, although that may be down mostly to the pulling power of his pectorals! He has got better, it doesn’t look quite as pained as once it did, and his Foxtrot travelled nicely around the floor. But I find something incredibly listless and insipid about Gavin’s dancing. The only dance he’s done that I saw a performance of note was his Paso. Last week’s jive had me hiding my eyes behind my fingers. I didn’t do that tonight, but that was because I was too busy yawning.
Sorry Gav. In Andy Pandy style, it’s “time to go home...”
I don’t need to know if Kara and Artem are up to anything off the dance floor. That is their business. If they do get it together after the show finishes its run then good on them, and I wish them well. Quite why Artem felt the need to announce to the British public that he was going to be asking Kara out I really couldn’t say, but I imagine it was a ploy to grab the ‘showmance’ vote. Well, all I can say to that is this:
Yuck.
Moving on to the dance itself, I loved the idea of using Moulin Rouge’s ‘El Tango de Roxanne’. I’ve been waiting for someone to use that! It’s so dramatic, passionate and violent – perfect for a tango. Anyone who has not seen this section of Moulin Rouge, I have to point you in this direction. If only because Ewan McGregor is so darned cute.
El Tango de Roxanne
I loved what Kara and Artem did with this routine. I think there was a little too much chair-action to be honest, but I can forgive that when they have delivered one of the best tangos in SCD history. Not the best, in my opinion. When Alesha said it was the best, she seemed to have airbrushed Zoe Ball out of history! Still, a high-ranking and worthy dance, and one in which Kara looked stunning. I’d be jealous if I didn’t think she was the bees’ knees!
And that as they say, is that. The couples are getting less and less each week, and next week there will be a double eviction after three nights of Strictly joyousness on the bounce. My dad will go absolutely mental: he can’t stand the show. I will also probably be annoyed come the results show next weekend. There was a double eviction on ‘I’m A Celebrity’ which saw Kayla (not one of my favourites) chucked out followed by Dom (who I wanted to win, even if he didn’t stand a snowflake’s chance). Going by this, we’re going to lose Gavin and Pamela before the final.
What the lord giveth, the lord taketh away...
I quite like the idea of a ‘movie’ themed night; although I did wonder if this might mean shoehorning ideas into dances that didn’t quite go. Take Scott Maslen and his 007-look Paso Doble. I wanted to like this more than I actually did. It was certainly powerful, and yes it was dramatic, and he danced it with passion and intent. But to be honest, there didn’t seem to be much magic about it. When I look back on the brilliant Paso’s, such as Austin’s or Ramps’, they both seemed to maintain that Spanish machismo that was sadly washed away by the famous James Bond theme, and I’m afraid that no amount of foot stomping and gratuitous tearing of shirts will make up for it. I’m not anti tearing shirts, for the record (depending who is wearing it). Natalie’s attempts at Ursula Andress somehow only managed to look rather cheap, like a budget Honey Ryder. Not that I want people thinking I’m Mary Whitehouse reincarnate, but I’m not sure that the nearly naked look works for a Paso. It certainly works for Bond, but then you have that juxtaposition I referred to earlier where both elements result in something not entirely appropriate.
Still, Scott did so much better than last week. All the steps appeared to be occur without much mishap but I personally found his total of 35 to be, once again, a little too high...
Anne Widdecombe must have been dreaming of a 35 total. I think it’s been a while since Anton saw one as well! It was interesting to see how, over the last week, people close to the show are now subtly but surely beginning to reach for the knives where team Widdebec are concerned. Now, at the quarter final stages, there seems to be a genuine feeling that it should be the dancers that make it to the final rather than the, shall we say, ‘novelty acts’. Anne’s chief problem was that her American Smooth contained nothing that was (deliberately) amusing. The lifts were genuinely impressive; I’d feared for Anton’s T7 and 8 vertebrae earlier in the week and had wondered if perhaps the idea of dancing the semi’s in a wheelchair might be their latest gimmick! Lifts apart, there wasn’t very much that was genuinely smooth about it, but thankfully they stopped short of following Scott’s lead and ripping Anton’s shirt open...
Alesha was surprisingly blunt to Anne. She didn’t quite say “sling yer’ bleedin’ hook” but it wasn’t far short of it.
I wasn’t very keen on Matt’s Austin Powers jive. By its nature a jive should never be dorky, goofy and be composed entirely of ‘schwinnnnnng!’ I watched it with a mixture of astonishment, admiration and embarrassment: in the end I wasn’t quite sure what I was supposed to feel. I’m not knocking Matt’s Austin Powers impression, which was rather good, or the fact that he threw himself into it with aplomb, in a way that I don’t think he has previously. I reckon that the character was so extreme that he excelled purely because it wasn’t Matt Baker on display, but a well known film character! But the dance itself left me feeling distinctly unmoved, and actually rather bored. Too slow for a jive, and just...too un-jivey!
The least said about the vote-snaring gymnastics the better. I don’t really agree with the maxim that “if you can do something well, do it.” I could tear off all my clothes and streak round the Oval, but I don’t. I wouldn’t inflict that horror on anyone...
Now, hands up who thought Pammy was going to get a nice big 40-shaped birthday surprise? You could see it waiting to happen. Claudia appeared to be priming Craig with the notion, and when the theme from ‘Ghost’ was revealed on ITT I thought Craig was going to burst into tears. And Len, he likes a good-old fashioned ballroom dance. And Bruno; he’s partial to a bit of romance. You could just tell that the configuration of the stars had aligned themselves into a favourable pattern on Pam’s big day to result in the first maximum score of the series. Even hubby Billy C was there to witness it.
I’m going to be controversial. I actually enjoyed this dance more than Kara’s tango. There: I’ve said it. The chuntering on the forums seem to suggest that Pamela is the anti-Christ because she got there before Kara in the big four zero stakes, and that Kara was dreadfully under-marked. Now, I’ve already said that I reckon that Kara should win the whole shebang but that’s not going to stop me from saying that, whilst I thought Pamela’s dance was worth four 9s, I thought the same of Kara’s as well. And what puts Pamela’s above Kara’s? Because it managed to touch the fluffy side of my nature that, frankly, I thought had long shrivelled up like a mouldy cucumber, forgotten in the vegetable compartment of a fridge-freezer. My inner vixen still functions perfectly normally so perhaps I found Kara’s tango less captivating, but when something beautiful comes along and makes me want to snuggle into a slanket, I have to whip out my metaphorical 10. Even if it was really a 9.
Hell’s teeth: did I say that? I’m behaving like Bruno now!
It shouldn’t be about age, and it isn’t really, but I would like to make one point. Pamela’s pretty much a marmite person and that is why I don’t think she is going to win the show, but credit where it’s due: having got into the semi finals at the age of 61 (and done it on merit) she will be the oldest person in 8 series to have made it that far, and that is something worthy of acknowledgement.
Gavin was back in hold this evening. Hurrah! Unfortunately he was doing a Foxtrot, and I cannot abide the wretched dance, so for me he’s lost points just by turning up. He was, however, so much better than he’s been previously, which was heartening if you are a Henson supporter. I still find him a little unnatural and forced at times: I think Katya herself said that it doesn’t come naturally to Gavin, which is possibly why his eyes sometimes seem to glaze over in concentration. As someone who has never been especially kind to Gavin’s many imperfections it is to his great credit that he has got this far, although that may be down mostly to the pulling power of his pectorals! He has got better, it doesn’t look quite as pained as once it did, and his Foxtrot travelled nicely around the floor. But I find something incredibly listless and insipid about Gavin’s dancing. The only dance he’s done that I saw a performance of note was his Paso. Last week’s jive had me hiding my eyes behind my fingers. I didn’t do that tonight, but that was because I was too busy yawning.
Sorry Gav. In Andy Pandy style, it’s “time to go home...”
I don’t need to know if Kara and Artem are up to anything off the dance floor. That is their business. If they do get it together after the show finishes its run then good on them, and I wish them well. Quite why Artem felt the need to announce to the British public that he was going to be asking Kara out I really couldn’t say, but I imagine it was a ploy to grab the ‘showmance’ vote. Well, all I can say to that is this:
Yuck.
Moving on to the dance itself, I loved the idea of using Moulin Rouge’s ‘El Tango de Roxanne’. I’ve been waiting for someone to use that! It’s so dramatic, passionate and violent – perfect for a tango. Anyone who has not seen this section of Moulin Rouge, I have to point you in this direction. If only because Ewan McGregor is so darned cute.
El Tango de Roxanne
I loved what Kara and Artem did with this routine. I think there was a little too much chair-action to be honest, but I can forgive that when they have delivered one of the best tangos in SCD history. Not the best, in my opinion. When Alesha said it was the best, she seemed to have airbrushed Zoe Ball out of history! Still, a high-ranking and worthy dance, and one in which Kara looked stunning. I’d be jealous if I didn’t think she was the bees’ knees!
And that as they say, is that. The couples are getting less and less each week, and next week there will be a double eviction after three nights of Strictly joyousness on the bounce. My dad will go absolutely mental: he can’t stand the show. I will also probably be annoyed come the results show next weekend. There was a double eviction on ‘I’m A Celebrity’ which saw Kayla (not one of my favourites) chucked out followed by Dom (who I wanted to win, even if he didn’t stand a snowflake’s chance). Going by this, we’re going to lose Gavin and Pamela before the final.
What the lord giveth, the lord taketh away...
Result - 29/11/10
And so time was called on Patsy's participation in the contest. She went possibly two weeks before she should have based on the judges leaderboard, but the chances of her making the final in the face of such stiff competition was virtualy nil anyway so it was only a mini-injustice. Patsy's been fun to watch by and large, and definitely one of the positives in this year's show.
And I will miss her verbal altercations with Craig!
And I will miss her verbal altercations with Craig!
Sunday 28 November 2010
Strictly: Week Nine
There are only seven contenders left, folks! And I for one am delighted!
It’s not that I haven’t enjoyed this year’s Strictly, although I’m not about to call it a vintage year (even if there are some good dancers left in the show). However, when it starts to head towards December I like to feel as if I’m rooting for someone specific, regardless of whether they eventually make the final or not. This year, to be honest, I don’t give a fig who gets to the end. In a way that’s fairly refreshing (not to mention stress-free). My phone bill is certainly a lot healthier than it was a few years back...
I don’t want to give the impression that I’ve fallen out of love with the show, even if I have been critical of some of the DWTS rules that have been brought in. I’m just sort of glad that we are in the final stages now, where the wheat is sorted from the chaff (with the exception of the eternal Anne Widdecombe), and the real contenders are there at the end. Maybe I’ll be able to form some sort of definite opinion of them all as we head towards the final.
Kara drew the short straw this week and started first, although this has never stopped her from doing well in the past. Today it felt a bit like a regression. The jive needs so much energy, fire and drive that it can be difficult to master from a performance side of things, let alone the technical side. Today Kara managed for the most part to get the technique spot on but once again it doesn’t matter how skilful you are at placing your arms when it results in losing the energy of the dance. It was the most clinical jive I’ve seen, and it looked a little too beautiful for me, as if Kara was dancing with her feet but not her heart. Still, a fabulous routine if a little sterile and antiseptic, but nice to see Artem able to dance considering the horrific neck crunch he suffered last week. And Kara’s silver foil dress was amazing!
From the sublime to the...er, submarine! Certainly the Widdecombe rumba had a nautical flavour to it, with Anne playing the unlikely roll of Kate Winslet to Anton’s Leo DiCaprio in the most unbelievable recreation of Titanic that you will ever see. I’m not going to lie and say I didn’t laugh at it, even if I felt I probably shouldn’t. There were basic rumba steps in the routine although they seemed to have mutated into something only vaguely recognisable, as if some hideous experiment had gone amiss in the laboratory and escaped into the television sets of the nation. When Craig said that the artificial iceberg prop in the centre of the floor was the best thing, he wasn’t actually mistaken. But again, I think Anton has to get considerable credit here for managing to come up with a routine that doesn’t attempt to cover how awful a dancer Anne is, but embraces the fact and turns it into comedy gold!
I feel almost dirty for typing that, though. There’s a part of me that feels I should be protesting along with all the others on Digital Spy that it’s “a dance contest”, and that Anne subsequently has no real business still being there. I feel I should be up on the roof of television centre chucking fire extinguishers at the producers of the show. And yet I still found Anne entertaining, so what high ground can I take?
My mum (who is a big fan of Anton and his deranged chest hair) is incandescent with rage that Anne keeps getting through. I’m not sure if that’s because she hates seeing better dancers knocked out each week whilst the right honourable Widdie keeps coming back like a particularly pernicious garden weed, or whether it’s her inbuilt Scottish belief that Conservative MPs, ex or otherwise, are the spawn of the devil. The truth, I think, lies somewhere in between. But democracy allows people (or ‘morons’ as my mother kindly referred to them) to vote for Anne, and until some serious coffee sniffing is done by the public we will just have to hold our collective heads in our hands, sigh, and pretend that we didn’t enjoy Anne’s latest attempts to string two recognisable steps together...
Patsy almost fell into the same category as Kara earlier in the show, in that the look of the dance was realised but the essence - the soul - was missing. The only difference was that Kara has technique to fall back on if the performance doesn’t quite come off, and whilst Patsy has got better she doesn’t have the same presence that Kara projects. She certainly looked the business, but her Argentine Tango seemed to lack that killer ‘black widow’ venom. The dancing is expressed through the legwork, but that doesn’t mean that the face should be left a complete blank! I think this is the reason I still have Mark and Karen’s AT at the top of the pile after all these years: the acting, subtle as it was, remains sublime.
The footwork was okay, the spins were very nicely done indeed, and she’s light years better than she was week one, but to me she’s got to be favourite to go along with Gavin. It’s got to the stage where those two are in danger of being left behind and they are now beginning to run out of weeks in which to really make the judges sit up and go ‘wow!’ It was a nice dance, but the AT isn’t about being nice...
Scott looked half asleep in his training vids. He looked half asleep on the dance floor as well. He must have known that doing Strictly and EastEnders at the same time would be a momentous ask but I guess nobody really appreciates how much effort Strictly requires until they start. Poor Scott is beginning to look downright unwell. He has my sympathy: my SAD has kicked in big time and fatigue is something I have to live with all day and night. But I imagine all the contestants on Strictly are beginning to feel exhaustion kick in now.
In the past Scott has sometimes made small, almost insignificant errors, but mostly the low marks he has received over the weeks has been a result of simply not gelling with the dance. Rumba is a killer dance for men to do, and samba can really sort the boys from the men if you feel embarrassed about shaking your hips. Today however should have been a dance tailor made for Scott, but his American Smooth was reduced to an American swamp through the amount of errors he managed to make. I can only assume that he was simply going through the motions of dancing, and that his feet were trying to lead him to where they ought to be at that moment, but whatever the truth he looked a rather pale shadow of his former self. Steps were forgotten, his posture didn’t look as sharp as it once did, and whilst it wasn’t quite ‘Night of the Living Dead’, there was a great deal more zombie to this routine than there was for his superb Viennese Waltz in Halloween week!
A word about the scoring: it was bonkers tonight. I’m not picking on Scott, but he was grossly over marked by the gruesome twosome on the right of the judge’s panel. Various other people were debatably given too many points but this instance stands out for me because there were palpably so many things wrong with it that even Mole from Wind in the Willows could have seen it wearing a broken pair of specs!
Oh dear. Gallumping Gavin has struck again. Another jive; although this time I will not compare it to Kara’s dance, because to do so would be like trying to compare stale Rivita to a large Chocolate Éclair with extra cream. It’s unfortunate that Gavin has got a dance he really dislikes (okay, hates) straight after a dance that he screwed up last week, but you could tell he wasn’t enjoying the jive from the first few out of synch kicks that he did. There were timing issues, it was a tad stompy, it didn’t flow as a dance, and I felt that the routine was repetitive. Gavin may have thought it was worth more than the judges gave it but to be honest I felt he was lucky to get what he did. I honestly enjoyed Anne’s routine more, even through splayed fingers. If anyone needed a lifejacket tonight it was Gavin...
Matt should have no problems reaching the final, even if his effort today wasn’t up to his usual standards. Why? Because two people called ‘Matt’ have already danced in Strictly and they both made it to the end of the competition in their respective years. Although come to think of it, they both came second. Hard luck Mr Baker!
Seriously, short of doing an ‘Austin’ he deserves to be there. He’s a pretty decent all round dancer when it comes to Latin and ballroom. Scott is better at ballroom than Latin. If the pair of them make the final without Scott falling asleep on the job, my money would be on Matt because his Latin dances have more ‘wow’ to them, which usually gets the voters picking up the phone. That’s not to say that Matt doesn’t have things all his own way: tonight being a case in point.
In the words of Topol, I would like at this moment to sing “TRADITION!” at the top of my voice. Not just on a whim, either. American Smooth has to, for me, evoke Hollywood glamour. It has to have style, sophistication, elegance...the man has to look dapper and the woman Hepburneque. I want to be drawn in by the tones of Sinatra, or Crosby, or Nat King Cole. What I don’t expect to see is a bloke in an open necked red Latin shirt dancing some freaky hybrid dance! I’m growing like Len, I admit it. Before you know it I’ll be pickling the walnuts I don’t have! My real problem, aside from the odd feel of the routine (and I’m blaming the aforementioned DWTS influence that’s been creeping in to the choreography this season), is that Matt overworks at times, and something that should be a simple, beautiful move becomes frantic and displaced. The Viennese waltz section of the routine was the guiltiest, with Matt running around in a circle like a little hamster on an invisible wheel!
Hammy...sorry, Matt is still dancing with a Desperate Dan jaw as well. It’s not pretty, and instantly ruins the believability of the dance. In fact I am now watching for it, so I do wish he’d stop looking so intense! Bruno picked up on something I said a few weeks back: that the intensity with which Matt dances makes him look like a mad serial killer! But, let us be fair to Matt here: you can’t really fault his footwork, which remained classy and stylish. He and Kara are the standouts this year.
When I first saw Pamela’s dance I thought it was pretty special. Having seen it again I still think it’s pretty gosh-darned good, but I can see a few errors that I didn’t initially see in my initial enthusiasm for the routine. Now, I like a good Charleston: mostly because it’s the only dance I can do! Pamela’s enthusiasm in this competition is unmatched, and whilst there are clearly some who are more skilled technically, she certainly sells a routine better than anyone else on the show. Today’s dance was perhaps slower paced than most Charleston’s we’ve seen recently, yet it worked for the most part, and although there were one or two balance issues and fractional wobbles to insure that it wasn’t perfect, it was a good solid nine out of ten for me. I do not like the amount of props at the start of James’ routines though; he’s much cleverer than that, unless he’s subliminally telling Pamela that at 61 ‘granny’ needs to spend the first 15 seconds sitting down on a chair! Again, Alesha and Bruno handed out the tens, which was frankly baffling, although it was in my opinion the best dance of the night.
By and large, I agreed with the leader board even if the scoring was frankly deranged at times. It puts Patsy and Gavin in a rather dangerous spot, because Anne is in it to win it and her fans (shadowy, sinister alien beings from the planet ‘Peculiar’) are not going to stop voting for her until that glitter ball is welded to Anton’s mantelpiece. Sleepy Scott’s fans will ring in like crazy to save his comatose neck, Matt and Kara have a fan base that will most likely see them to the final, and Pamela in first place should be safe for another week at least.
So, the ‘slow improver’ or the ‘irretrievably orange’ one? Tune in to the results show to find out (or cheat and look on Digital Spy like the rest of the fanatics)...
It’s not that I haven’t enjoyed this year’s Strictly, although I’m not about to call it a vintage year (even if there are some good dancers left in the show). However, when it starts to head towards December I like to feel as if I’m rooting for someone specific, regardless of whether they eventually make the final or not. This year, to be honest, I don’t give a fig who gets to the end. In a way that’s fairly refreshing (not to mention stress-free). My phone bill is certainly a lot healthier than it was a few years back...
I don’t want to give the impression that I’ve fallen out of love with the show, even if I have been critical of some of the DWTS rules that have been brought in. I’m just sort of glad that we are in the final stages now, where the wheat is sorted from the chaff (with the exception of the eternal Anne Widdecombe), and the real contenders are there at the end. Maybe I’ll be able to form some sort of definite opinion of them all as we head towards the final.
Kara drew the short straw this week and started first, although this has never stopped her from doing well in the past. Today it felt a bit like a regression. The jive needs so much energy, fire and drive that it can be difficult to master from a performance side of things, let alone the technical side. Today Kara managed for the most part to get the technique spot on but once again it doesn’t matter how skilful you are at placing your arms when it results in losing the energy of the dance. It was the most clinical jive I’ve seen, and it looked a little too beautiful for me, as if Kara was dancing with her feet but not her heart. Still, a fabulous routine if a little sterile and antiseptic, but nice to see Artem able to dance considering the horrific neck crunch he suffered last week. And Kara’s silver foil dress was amazing!
From the sublime to the...er, submarine! Certainly the Widdecombe rumba had a nautical flavour to it, with Anne playing the unlikely roll of Kate Winslet to Anton’s Leo DiCaprio in the most unbelievable recreation of Titanic that you will ever see. I’m not going to lie and say I didn’t laugh at it, even if I felt I probably shouldn’t. There were basic rumba steps in the routine although they seemed to have mutated into something only vaguely recognisable, as if some hideous experiment had gone amiss in the laboratory and escaped into the television sets of the nation. When Craig said that the artificial iceberg prop in the centre of the floor was the best thing, he wasn’t actually mistaken. But again, I think Anton has to get considerable credit here for managing to come up with a routine that doesn’t attempt to cover how awful a dancer Anne is, but embraces the fact and turns it into comedy gold!
I feel almost dirty for typing that, though. There’s a part of me that feels I should be protesting along with all the others on Digital Spy that it’s “a dance contest”, and that Anne subsequently has no real business still being there. I feel I should be up on the roof of television centre chucking fire extinguishers at the producers of the show. And yet I still found Anne entertaining, so what high ground can I take?
My mum (who is a big fan of Anton and his deranged chest hair) is incandescent with rage that Anne keeps getting through. I’m not sure if that’s because she hates seeing better dancers knocked out each week whilst the right honourable Widdie keeps coming back like a particularly pernicious garden weed, or whether it’s her inbuilt Scottish belief that Conservative MPs, ex or otherwise, are the spawn of the devil. The truth, I think, lies somewhere in between. But democracy allows people (or ‘morons’ as my mother kindly referred to them) to vote for Anne, and until some serious coffee sniffing is done by the public we will just have to hold our collective heads in our hands, sigh, and pretend that we didn’t enjoy Anne’s latest attempts to string two recognisable steps together...
Patsy almost fell into the same category as Kara earlier in the show, in that the look of the dance was realised but the essence - the soul - was missing. The only difference was that Kara has technique to fall back on if the performance doesn’t quite come off, and whilst Patsy has got better she doesn’t have the same presence that Kara projects. She certainly looked the business, but her Argentine Tango seemed to lack that killer ‘black widow’ venom. The dancing is expressed through the legwork, but that doesn’t mean that the face should be left a complete blank! I think this is the reason I still have Mark and Karen’s AT at the top of the pile after all these years: the acting, subtle as it was, remains sublime.
The footwork was okay, the spins were very nicely done indeed, and she’s light years better than she was week one, but to me she’s got to be favourite to go along with Gavin. It’s got to the stage where those two are in danger of being left behind and they are now beginning to run out of weeks in which to really make the judges sit up and go ‘wow!’ It was a nice dance, but the AT isn’t about being nice...
Scott looked half asleep in his training vids. He looked half asleep on the dance floor as well. He must have known that doing Strictly and EastEnders at the same time would be a momentous ask but I guess nobody really appreciates how much effort Strictly requires until they start. Poor Scott is beginning to look downright unwell. He has my sympathy: my SAD has kicked in big time and fatigue is something I have to live with all day and night. But I imagine all the contestants on Strictly are beginning to feel exhaustion kick in now.
In the past Scott has sometimes made small, almost insignificant errors, but mostly the low marks he has received over the weeks has been a result of simply not gelling with the dance. Rumba is a killer dance for men to do, and samba can really sort the boys from the men if you feel embarrassed about shaking your hips. Today however should have been a dance tailor made for Scott, but his American Smooth was reduced to an American swamp through the amount of errors he managed to make. I can only assume that he was simply going through the motions of dancing, and that his feet were trying to lead him to where they ought to be at that moment, but whatever the truth he looked a rather pale shadow of his former self. Steps were forgotten, his posture didn’t look as sharp as it once did, and whilst it wasn’t quite ‘Night of the Living Dead’, there was a great deal more zombie to this routine than there was for his superb Viennese Waltz in Halloween week!
A word about the scoring: it was bonkers tonight. I’m not picking on Scott, but he was grossly over marked by the gruesome twosome on the right of the judge’s panel. Various other people were debatably given too many points but this instance stands out for me because there were palpably so many things wrong with it that even Mole from Wind in the Willows could have seen it wearing a broken pair of specs!
Oh dear. Gallumping Gavin has struck again. Another jive; although this time I will not compare it to Kara’s dance, because to do so would be like trying to compare stale Rivita to a large Chocolate Éclair with extra cream. It’s unfortunate that Gavin has got a dance he really dislikes (okay, hates) straight after a dance that he screwed up last week, but you could tell he wasn’t enjoying the jive from the first few out of synch kicks that he did. There were timing issues, it was a tad stompy, it didn’t flow as a dance, and I felt that the routine was repetitive. Gavin may have thought it was worth more than the judges gave it but to be honest I felt he was lucky to get what he did. I honestly enjoyed Anne’s routine more, even through splayed fingers. If anyone needed a lifejacket tonight it was Gavin...
Matt should have no problems reaching the final, even if his effort today wasn’t up to his usual standards. Why? Because two people called ‘Matt’ have already danced in Strictly and they both made it to the end of the competition in their respective years. Although come to think of it, they both came second. Hard luck Mr Baker!
Seriously, short of doing an ‘Austin’ he deserves to be there. He’s a pretty decent all round dancer when it comes to Latin and ballroom. Scott is better at ballroom than Latin. If the pair of them make the final without Scott falling asleep on the job, my money would be on Matt because his Latin dances have more ‘wow’ to them, which usually gets the voters picking up the phone. That’s not to say that Matt doesn’t have things all his own way: tonight being a case in point.
In the words of Topol, I would like at this moment to sing “TRADITION!” at the top of my voice. Not just on a whim, either. American Smooth has to, for me, evoke Hollywood glamour. It has to have style, sophistication, elegance...the man has to look dapper and the woman Hepburneque. I want to be drawn in by the tones of Sinatra, or Crosby, or Nat King Cole. What I don’t expect to see is a bloke in an open necked red Latin shirt dancing some freaky hybrid dance! I’m growing like Len, I admit it. Before you know it I’ll be pickling the walnuts I don’t have! My real problem, aside from the odd feel of the routine (and I’m blaming the aforementioned DWTS influence that’s been creeping in to the choreography this season), is that Matt overworks at times, and something that should be a simple, beautiful move becomes frantic and displaced. The Viennese waltz section of the routine was the guiltiest, with Matt running around in a circle like a little hamster on an invisible wheel!
Hammy...sorry, Matt is still dancing with a Desperate Dan jaw as well. It’s not pretty, and instantly ruins the believability of the dance. In fact I am now watching for it, so I do wish he’d stop looking so intense! Bruno picked up on something I said a few weeks back: that the intensity with which Matt dances makes him look like a mad serial killer! But, let us be fair to Matt here: you can’t really fault his footwork, which remained classy and stylish. He and Kara are the standouts this year.
When I first saw Pamela’s dance I thought it was pretty special. Having seen it again I still think it’s pretty gosh-darned good, but I can see a few errors that I didn’t initially see in my initial enthusiasm for the routine. Now, I like a good Charleston: mostly because it’s the only dance I can do! Pamela’s enthusiasm in this competition is unmatched, and whilst there are clearly some who are more skilled technically, she certainly sells a routine better than anyone else on the show. Today’s dance was perhaps slower paced than most Charleston’s we’ve seen recently, yet it worked for the most part, and although there were one or two balance issues and fractional wobbles to insure that it wasn’t perfect, it was a good solid nine out of ten for me. I do not like the amount of props at the start of James’ routines though; he’s much cleverer than that, unless he’s subliminally telling Pamela that at 61 ‘granny’ needs to spend the first 15 seconds sitting down on a chair! Again, Alesha and Bruno handed out the tens, which was frankly baffling, although it was in my opinion the best dance of the night.
By and large, I agreed with the leader board even if the scoring was frankly deranged at times. It puts Patsy and Gavin in a rather dangerous spot, because Anne is in it to win it and her fans (shadowy, sinister alien beings from the planet ‘Peculiar’) are not going to stop voting for her until that glitter ball is welded to Anton’s mantelpiece. Sleepy Scott’s fans will ring in like crazy to save his comatose neck, Matt and Kara have a fan base that will most likely see them to the final, and Pamela in first place should be safe for another week at least.
So, the ‘slow improver’ or the ‘irretrievably orange’ one? Tune in to the results show to find out (or cheat and look on Digital Spy like the rest of the fanatics)...
Result - 21/11/2010
I forgot to put up the result from last week! And as predicted it was a case of "bye bye, Felicity!"
It was (apart from one person still in the show) the right result, but it didn't stop me from feeling very sad as Vincent and Felicity gave their farewell dance on the floor of the Tower ballroom. Vincent's speach to Felicity was heartfelt and quite frankly nearly had me sniffling. And then I remembered it was just an entertainment show and turned over to watch I'm A Celebrity...
It was (apart from one person still in the show) the right result, but it didn't stop me from feeling very sad as Vincent and Felicity gave their farewell dance on the floor of the Tower ballroom. Vincent's speach to Felicity was heartfelt and quite frankly nearly had me sniffling. And then I remembered it was just an entertainment show and turned over to watch I'm A Celebrity...
Sunday 21 November 2010
Strictly: Week Eight
And now, ladies and gentlemen, we’re off to Blackpool!
Am I the only one who hears the word ‘Blackpool’ and thinks of Craig Kelly? I feel like I’m stuck in some infernal time-loop! Thankfully, Mr Kelly isn’t in this week’s show. Say what you like about Anne Widdecombe, but at least you can laugh at her. Craig made me want to hide behind the sofa for the first time since I encountered the Daleks on my screen in the mid 1970s...
Talking of the 1970s, we seem to have taken a trip back to the decade of flares, spangles and glam rock. For some reason Tess Daly decided the big occasion merited dressing as a member of ‘Brotherhood Of Man’, resplendent in a scarlet cat suit with shoulder frills. Was this the new gimmick, I wondered? Was this week’s addition of Strictly going to be loosely themed on ‘Charlie’s Angles?’
Unfortunately not.
I say unfortunately, because it may have enlivened proceedings a little. Blackpool is without doubt the historic, dare one say spiritual, home of ballroom dancing – but that doesn’t mean it translates well to the small screen. If anything the vast floor space and distance of the audience simply makes the spectacle remote, almost cold, compared to the television studio venue. I understand that “making it to Blackpool” is seen as a minor landmark but rather than enhance the contest, it feels to me like the Blackpool venue is shoehorned in for the sake of it. Subsequently, my impressions of the actual dances may be slightly skewed by my general lack of enthusiasm for the Blackpool venue, but I will give my honest opinions regardless of whether they have any substance in actuality!
There was a fair bit to like about Patsy’s samba – most of it down to her performance levels. She did manage to convince us she was a frisky show-girl, and whilst I liked the colour combination of pink and black, and I liked the style of the dress, the two somehow managed to come together in a very odd fashion indeed. I don’t know if they used real satin or not but you have to be a twiglet to carry shiny fabric off convincingly, and as Patsy is a normal looking woman with real curves the dress ended up making her look slightly ‘Mavis Cruet’.
Nobody doubts Patsy’s acting: her ability to sell a dance has actually been one of the highlights of this year for me. But technically she’s not quite up to the level of some, and this comparison is becoming more and more heightened as the weeks progress. Samba is notoriously difficult to master as it has so many components to it, and there were times when Patsy didn’t quite remember which bits should bounce, and when! The errors were noticeable and of course the judges spotted them, but the routine was fun and fairly inoffensive, and travelled around the vast room nicely enough. Just one point, though. I’m getting the impression that Patsy feels Craig is picking on her. Patsy: he picks on everyone if he feels they’ve not done well enough! In this respect he’s not being remotely personal, and I wish Patsy would just put it behind her and move on. Because she’s most likely only got a few weeks left in the show at most.
Kara’s American Smooth was odd. I say odd, but I mean it in a good way! I loved how innovative it was considering the hideously unsuitable piece of music that they had. I did wonder about the dark dress that Kara was wearing before the start as it didn’t cry American Smooth to me, and as soon as the almost tangoesque feel kicked in at the start I could imagine Len’s nails being stuck into the palms of his hands. Being a traditionalist, only the elegance and glamour concept of the AS will suffice for him. Remember ‘zigzaggate’ in 2006 when Mark and Karen danced a very nice AS, and Len sat there with a face that suggested he’d been given a bowl of mouse droppings instead of muesli for breakfast? Peppered with zigzags??? I would have peppered him with so many damned zigzags he wouldn’t have been able to sit down on his pickled walnuts for a month...
Predictably, whether right or wrong, Len did his narna again. And the thing is that I can see his point of view, but that dance by Kara and Artem was so lovely that for once – just for once – I wanted him to let it go and give them the good score they deserved. It was such a passionate, dramatic and powerful interpretation of the AS that it almost defied criticism, and yet because it didn’t appear to have either the traditional foxtrot base or the alternative quickstep base (it looked like it had a tango/Paso appearance) it must have been difficult to know how to score it. Personally, I thought it pretty much sublime.
I went through a period within the first few weeks of not thinking that Kara was good enough to win the contest, but over the last three weeks I have completely revised my opinion. As of this moment, she’s not only good enough to win, but I think she deserves to.
Matt Baker annoys me. He annoys me because I am desperate to like him. He’s a cat’s whisker from making me like him. But every time I find myself thinking “wow!” he goes and does something that makes me think “you utter twonk” and my opinions of him sink again. Take the samba, for instance. That was a difficult samba from a technical point of view. It looked complicated and stuffed full of intricate moves. He shook his thing like a total diva. It was very off-putting to see him in a shirt that looked frankly as if Ramps had worn it a few series ago, but that didn’t stop me from thinking it a great little routine...until those bloody awful back-flips and round-offs. STOP WITH THE GYMNASTICS ALREADY!!! We know you can do it! This is not Strictly Gymnastics, and I can only assume that these were put in to shamelessly get votes on account of being such a clever-clogs. On this occasion I have to agree with Len: what the *beep* has gymnastics got to do with the samba?!? It makes me so terribly disappointed to see it because, let’s face it, the boy can dance...there’s just no need to shoehorn those moves in.
And he’s still clenching his jaw when he dances! Craig may have got him to sort his thumbs out but what I want is to see someone bandage his chin, because it’s driving me nuts!
Felicity Kendall looked – and danced – the best she has on the show to date. And you just know that’s going to be curtains for her. You can see her on the ITT couch come Monday, with Claudia saying “it must be a bitter sweet feeling to have to go out on your best dance”. The usual sort of guff that gets flung the way of somebody who is quite clearly not good enough to win but certainly not bottom of the pile. Because let’s face it, Anne is made of Bakelite and is clearly not going anywhere soon, leaving the likes of Felicity and Gavin dangerously exposed.
The pale pink dress was absolutely stunning, I have to say, but I personally don’t think the American Smooth is Vincent’s dance somehow. Again, more faffing about at the start, and every now and again Felicity seemed to rely on Vincent to get her into position, but as Len is so fond of saying, she’d “come out and done a good job.” Certainly it was a very traditional American Smooth, and I found myself liking it for none of the reasons that I liked in Kara’s! I think it suffered slightly from being swallowed up by the vastness of the room, as it never especially seemed to travel especially, but both Vincent and Felicity handled the lifts really well. But does she have the public support? The fact she’s previously been in the bottom two suggests otherwise.
Someone who clearly does have support, although what they see in him I still don’t quite get, is Gavin Henson. After last week’s vast improvement, Gavin sank once more into the depths like a weighted anchor. I think he needs hypnosis, frankly. You can see it in his eyes: one minute he’s having a laugh, the next he’s terrified and looks like he’s impaled himself on a toasting fork. The constant zoning back and forth between one state of mind and the other makes me feel very uncomfortable watching him. Of course, anyone who has ever had to do anything in public will have a degree of sympathy for him, but the simple fact is he probably isn’t on a par with Kara, Matt and Scotttttttttt.
His American Smooth was slightly controversial, in that I didn’t feel the lifts added anything to the performance at all. In fact the first one was so out of place that he could well have been holding Katya up to the ceiling so that she could change a light bulb. The good news is that at least he has learned to smile and engage with the audience at long last, so some things from last week have carried forward, but the shaping of his hands were most unpleasant, to the extent where I expected Craig to run on to the floor with a chainsaw and cut them off!
Mind you, that would have made the remaining lifts a bit difficult.
Scott never looked confident in his samba VTs throughout the week. The hips didn’t look convincing, the bounce didn’t look bouncy enough, and I don’t think his height actually helped much. I know Zoe Ball was built like a giraffe in heels and yet still danced the ultimate Strictly samba, but there’s no doubting that tall people don’t quite look as good on the eye doing samba rolls and Voltas, and this awkwardness periodically manifested itself during the dance. Of course the main problem for me was that they chose ‘Higher and Higher’ to dance to, and as all good Rampants know this was the tune that was used for the Dawson/Ramprakash ‘Judges Choice’ face-off. Ramps on that occasion chose to do samba, so there’s this direct comparison in my mind. And Scott, much as I love you, I’m afraid your samba didn’t come close! I did however prefer the routine to Matt’s, as there wasn’t any sign of interstellar-flipflops-with-short-back-and-side-nuclearplasmic-somersualts added in to the mix.
Pamela and James looked like they had the most fun of the night. Having been told by the judges to go forth and multiply, sorry...indulge in some on-screen hanky panky, they gave their American Smooth every bit of welly they could throw at it, and a bit more. I’ve never really seen a pantomime AS before but this was what it reminded me of, with everything larger than life and exaggerated. To be honest I didn’t know if I should sit in awe at the whole playfulness of the choreography or think “hmm...this feels a little contrived.” But I give Pam extra kudos for dancing in a dress that made her look like a sardine in a squashed can. It’s the happiest I’ve seen James in all his years on Strictly as well, and even although I’m not sure the routine was a 10, I’m happy that she bagged two of the blighters!
Well, somehow Anne got to go last again. Dressed from head to foot in canary yellow and looking for all the world as if Big Bird from Sesame Street had plopped in to the tower ballroom, Anne (for t’was she) rounded proceedings off in a style reminiscent of those brown things with the long ears and a leg in each corner that take kids for rides on the beach. There was precious little samba content in the routine, mostly because Anne deemed it far too raunchy, and so the sanitised routine that we got basically involved Anne standing still whilst Anton wriggled around her. There was a very nice ‘pogo’ movement in the middle where Anton grabbed Anne’s foot and she hoped up and down like a space hopper, but in every other sense it was back to the usual Laurel and Hardy routine. Now, whilst I maintain Anne has every right to be in the contest I do take umbrage when contestants refuse to actually do certain moves crucial to the dance because they’re not seemly enough. It’s a samba, for goodness sake not a tea dance! What we got was more of a sham-ba, and I fully supported Craig in giving her a 1!
So, an unusual end to a rather lacklustre evening as far as I was concerned. Kara was the stand-out for me, with Matt (barring the ghastly circus routine) and Pamela my next favourites. Other than Anne it was Gavin who seemed the least affective, but I think a combination of her invincibility and his muscles will just about see them safe.
Watch out Felicity, is all I can say.
Am I the only one who hears the word ‘Blackpool’ and thinks of Craig Kelly? I feel like I’m stuck in some infernal time-loop! Thankfully, Mr Kelly isn’t in this week’s show. Say what you like about Anne Widdecombe, but at least you can laugh at her. Craig made me want to hide behind the sofa for the first time since I encountered the Daleks on my screen in the mid 1970s...
Talking of the 1970s, we seem to have taken a trip back to the decade of flares, spangles and glam rock. For some reason Tess Daly decided the big occasion merited dressing as a member of ‘Brotherhood Of Man’, resplendent in a scarlet cat suit with shoulder frills. Was this the new gimmick, I wondered? Was this week’s addition of Strictly going to be loosely themed on ‘Charlie’s Angles?’
Unfortunately not.
I say unfortunately, because it may have enlivened proceedings a little. Blackpool is without doubt the historic, dare one say spiritual, home of ballroom dancing – but that doesn’t mean it translates well to the small screen. If anything the vast floor space and distance of the audience simply makes the spectacle remote, almost cold, compared to the television studio venue. I understand that “making it to Blackpool” is seen as a minor landmark but rather than enhance the contest, it feels to me like the Blackpool venue is shoehorned in for the sake of it. Subsequently, my impressions of the actual dances may be slightly skewed by my general lack of enthusiasm for the Blackpool venue, but I will give my honest opinions regardless of whether they have any substance in actuality!
There was a fair bit to like about Patsy’s samba – most of it down to her performance levels. She did manage to convince us she was a frisky show-girl, and whilst I liked the colour combination of pink and black, and I liked the style of the dress, the two somehow managed to come together in a very odd fashion indeed. I don’t know if they used real satin or not but you have to be a twiglet to carry shiny fabric off convincingly, and as Patsy is a normal looking woman with real curves the dress ended up making her look slightly ‘Mavis Cruet’.
Nobody doubts Patsy’s acting: her ability to sell a dance has actually been one of the highlights of this year for me. But technically she’s not quite up to the level of some, and this comparison is becoming more and more heightened as the weeks progress. Samba is notoriously difficult to master as it has so many components to it, and there were times when Patsy didn’t quite remember which bits should bounce, and when! The errors were noticeable and of course the judges spotted them, but the routine was fun and fairly inoffensive, and travelled around the vast room nicely enough. Just one point, though. I’m getting the impression that Patsy feels Craig is picking on her. Patsy: he picks on everyone if he feels they’ve not done well enough! In this respect he’s not being remotely personal, and I wish Patsy would just put it behind her and move on. Because she’s most likely only got a few weeks left in the show at most.
Kara’s American Smooth was odd. I say odd, but I mean it in a good way! I loved how innovative it was considering the hideously unsuitable piece of music that they had. I did wonder about the dark dress that Kara was wearing before the start as it didn’t cry American Smooth to me, and as soon as the almost tangoesque feel kicked in at the start I could imagine Len’s nails being stuck into the palms of his hands. Being a traditionalist, only the elegance and glamour concept of the AS will suffice for him. Remember ‘zigzaggate’ in 2006 when Mark and Karen danced a very nice AS, and Len sat there with a face that suggested he’d been given a bowl of mouse droppings instead of muesli for breakfast? Peppered with zigzags??? I would have peppered him with so many damned zigzags he wouldn’t have been able to sit down on his pickled walnuts for a month...
Predictably, whether right or wrong, Len did his narna again. And the thing is that I can see his point of view, but that dance by Kara and Artem was so lovely that for once – just for once – I wanted him to let it go and give them the good score they deserved. It was such a passionate, dramatic and powerful interpretation of the AS that it almost defied criticism, and yet because it didn’t appear to have either the traditional foxtrot base or the alternative quickstep base (it looked like it had a tango/Paso appearance) it must have been difficult to know how to score it. Personally, I thought it pretty much sublime.
I went through a period within the first few weeks of not thinking that Kara was good enough to win the contest, but over the last three weeks I have completely revised my opinion. As of this moment, she’s not only good enough to win, but I think she deserves to.
Matt Baker annoys me. He annoys me because I am desperate to like him. He’s a cat’s whisker from making me like him. But every time I find myself thinking “wow!” he goes and does something that makes me think “you utter twonk” and my opinions of him sink again. Take the samba, for instance. That was a difficult samba from a technical point of view. It looked complicated and stuffed full of intricate moves. He shook his thing like a total diva. It was very off-putting to see him in a shirt that looked frankly as if Ramps had worn it a few series ago, but that didn’t stop me from thinking it a great little routine...until those bloody awful back-flips and round-offs. STOP WITH THE GYMNASTICS ALREADY!!! We know you can do it! This is not Strictly Gymnastics, and I can only assume that these were put in to shamelessly get votes on account of being such a clever-clogs. On this occasion I have to agree with Len: what the *beep* has gymnastics got to do with the samba?!? It makes me so terribly disappointed to see it because, let’s face it, the boy can dance...there’s just no need to shoehorn those moves in.
And he’s still clenching his jaw when he dances! Craig may have got him to sort his thumbs out but what I want is to see someone bandage his chin, because it’s driving me nuts!
Felicity Kendall looked – and danced – the best she has on the show to date. And you just know that’s going to be curtains for her. You can see her on the ITT couch come Monday, with Claudia saying “it must be a bitter sweet feeling to have to go out on your best dance”. The usual sort of guff that gets flung the way of somebody who is quite clearly not good enough to win but certainly not bottom of the pile. Because let’s face it, Anne is made of Bakelite and is clearly not going anywhere soon, leaving the likes of Felicity and Gavin dangerously exposed.
The pale pink dress was absolutely stunning, I have to say, but I personally don’t think the American Smooth is Vincent’s dance somehow. Again, more faffing about at the start, and every now and again Felicity seemed to rely on Vincent to get her into position, but as Len is so fond of saying, she’d “come out and done a good job.” Certainly it was a very traditional American Smooth, and I found myself liking it for none of the reasons that I liked in Kara’s! I think it suffered slightly from being swallowed up by the vastness of the room, as it never especially seemed to travel especially, but both Vincent and Felicity handled the lifts really well. But does she have the public support? The fact she’s previously been in the bottom two suggests otherwise.
Someone who clearly does have support, although what they see in him I still don’t quite get, is Gavin Henson. After last week’s vast improvement, Gavin sank once more into the depths like a weighted anchor. I think he needs hypnosis, frankly. You can see it in his eyes: one minute he’s having a laugh, the next he’s terrified and looks like he’s impaled himself on a toasting fork. The constant zoning back and forth between one state of mind and the other makes me feel very uncomfortable watching him. Of course, anyone who has ever had to do anything in public will have a degree of sympathy for him, but the simple fact is he probably isn’t on a par with Kara, Matt and Scotttttttttt.
His American Smooth was slightly controversial, in that I didn’t feel the lifts added anything to the performance at all. In fact the first one was so out of place that he could well have been holding Katya up to the ceiling so that she could change a light bulb. The good news is that at least he has learned to smile and engage with the audience at long last, so some things from last week have carried forward, but the shaping of his hands were most unpleasant, to the extent where I expected Craig to run on to the floor with a chainsaw and cut them off!
Mind you, that would have made the remaining lifts a bit difficult.
Scott never looked confident in his samba VTs throughout the week. The hips didn’t look convincing, the bounce didn’t look bouncy enough, and I don’t think his height actually helped much. I know Zoe Ball was built like a giraffe in heels and yet still danced the ultimate Strictly samba, but there’s no doubting that tall people don’t quite look as good on the eye doing samba rolls and Voltas, and this awkwardness periodically manifested itself during the dance. Of course the main problem for me was that they chose ‘Higher and Higher’ to dance to, and as all good Rampants know this was the tune that was used for the Dawson/Ramprakash ‘Judges Choice’ face-off. Ramps on that occasion chose to do samba, so there’s this direct comparison in my mind. And Scott, much as I love you, I’m afraid your samba didn’t come close! I did however prefer the routine to Matt’s, as there wasn’t any sign of interstellar-flipflops-with-short-back-and-side-nuclearplasmic-somersualts added in to the mix.
Pamela and James looked like they had the most fun of the night. Having been told by the judges to go forth and multiply, sorry...indulge in some on-screen hanky panky, they gave their American Smooth every bit of welly they could throw at it, and a bit more. I’ve never really seen a pantomime AS before but this was what it reminded me of, with everything larger than life and exaggerated. To be honest I didn’t know if I should sit in awe at the whole playfulness of the choreography or think “hmm...this feels a little contrived.” But I give Pam extra kudos for dancing in a dress that made her look like a sardine in a squashed can. It’s the happiest I’ve seen James in all his years on Strictly as well, and even although I’m not sure the routine was a 10, I’m happy that she bagged two of the blighters!
Well, somehow Anne got to go last again. Dressed from head to foot in canary yellow and looking for all the world as if Big Bird from Sesame Street had plopped in to the tower ballroom, Anne (for t’was she) rounded proceedings off in a style reminiscent of those brown things with the long ears and a leg in each corner that take kids for rides on the beach. There was precious little samba content in the routine, mostly because Anne deemed it far too raunchy, and so the sanitised routine that we got basically involved Anne standing still whilst Anton wriggled around her. There was a very nice ‘pogo’ movement in the middle where Anton grabbed Anne’s foot and she hoped up and down like a space hopper, but in every other sense it was back to the usual Laurel and Hardy routine. Now, whilst I maintain Anne has every right to be in the contest I do take umbrage when contestants refuse to actually do certain moves crucial to the dance because they’re not seemly enough. It’s a samba, for goodness sake not a tea dance! What we got was more of a sham-ba, and I fully supported Craig in giving her a 1!
So, an unusual end to a rather lacklustre evening as far as I was concerned. Kara was the stand-out for me, with Matt (barring the ghastly circus routine) and Pamela my next favourites. Other than Anne it was Gavin who seemed the least affective, but I think a combination of her invincibility and his muscles will just about see them safe.
Watch out Felicity, is all I can say.
The long road to recovery
A quick word about Mr R, who has managed to injure himself whilst playing a charity football game. There have been a lot of annoyed mutterings from certain quarters about cricketers damaging themselves in non-cricket related ways. I’m not going to get into this argument, except to say that it’s impossible to wrap your star player in cotton wool 24/7. Yes, it does have unfortunate implications for the club at the start of the season, or until/if Ramps feels he’s able to take part in a full game. It would however be nice to see some of the members actually being interested in the welfare of the man himself.
Face it, whilst no individual is bigger than the club, he’s carried the team for more years than should really have been necessary. Perhaps some concern for a fantastic Surrey servant is due here, instead of banging on about how the club is well and truly stuffed without him?
Appreciate what you’ve got, my fellow Surrey supporters, because even if he makes a full recovery you won’t have him forever, impossible as it is to imagine.
Anyhow, I’ll speak for the Rampants here and wish Mr Ramprakash a speedy and pain-free recovery. I did my knee ligaments back when I was 21, jumping from a bus, when my leg went down on the pavement in one direction and my weight went down on it in the other. I have to be honest and say it’s never quite been the same since: in fact it feels somewhat arthritic in the mornings. So whatever the career implications of this injury for Mr R, I think the most important thing here is to hope he’s not in too much discomfort.
And now on a slightly different tack: the Strictly Live Tour 2010 DVD has been issued via Amazon! All of this is great news if you’ve already got it *cough* Liz *cough* Tricia *cough* Lesley. Some of us will have to wait until next week!!! And whilst the rest of us are waiting, some of those previously mentioned are wearing out the replay button on their DVD players!!!
Oh, well. To console the rest of us I have put up the lovely picture of Mark and Kristina, as taken by Leonie, during the tour earlier in the year.
Five days and counting...
Sunday 14 November 2010
Strictly: Week Seven
The competition’s beginning to hot up, so to speak. That is to say that we’re passed the halfway point and everyone’s trying to do all they can to not only stay in the contest but to assert their credentials as legitimate victors. Some are doing this more successfully than others, it has to be said, but there’s been a definite shift up through the gears of late by those not instantly considered to be in the top tier.
Pamela and James were up first this week. I’m not sure how these things are drawn but it seems to me that Pam has gone first twice and been near the start on a few occasions now. Even although Kara danced first last week and stayed up the top of the leader board I doubt anyone would argue the fact it’s a clear disadvantage to be the first one to dance. Especially when you take Craig’s way of scoring in to consideration. Not one who’s afraid to use every paddle at his disposal if he feels it’s merited, Craig will base his scores in terms of what has gone before as well as what he’s just seen on the dance floor. The others leave themselves little room to manoeuvre by waving 9s around because 10 is the only way to go up, which leads to the extremely silly amount of 10s we’ve seen in recent years...
I think an 8 was fair for Pamela’s routine, especially in hindsight. At the time I could probably see one or two people thinking it was a 7, but it was worth more than that, and until they bring out a 7.5, what can you do? It was a clever routine from James (who I personally thought looked rather hot in his pinstripe suit and hat), albeit with the usual degree of faffing about at the start – although good in the context of the story I suppose. Pamela always finishes her arm lines beautifully but somehow, although it seemed joyous and happy, there wasn’t a lot of...sassiness to it. And if any word describes the cha cha cha then it’s ‘sass’. That’s why I loved Louisa Lytton’s cha cha cha in series 4, probably more than Alesha’s. I know the latter is considered one of the ‘iconic’ dances of Strictly but her bent legs in the Latin always remind me of a chicken wishbone. How was she allowed to get away with it???
Sometimes Pam’s balance doesn’t seem as good as the others. It sort of makes her a little more wobbly and uncertain. I think this is one area she needs to work at, because whilst she hasn’t slid down the pack and is as good as ever, she hasn’t progressed recently in the way that some of the others have.
Michelle and Brendan were up next with their Paso Doble. I loved Michelle’s dress and I thought that even although not a traditional shade associated with the dance it certainly added a lot of impact and drama, in the same way Natasha’s white Paso dress did way back in the mists of time. And certainly it seemed to empower Michelle at the start, who came out with so much attack that I thought she was about to perform the Hakka! But all too soon it skittered and slithered into a sort of blamangey nothingness; a weak and watery Paso. So weak in fact that if, on tonight’s performances, Scott was the cat that got the cream then Michelle was a little carton of UHT in comparison. It was a pity given the promise of the first 20 seconds, but Michelle looked increasingly out of her depth as it went on. The end, when it came, was a bit of a relief to all (especially Michelle by the look of it). Nothing was wrong with Brendan’s routine, however and it was just a shame that Michelle didn’t have the physical presence required to do it justice. Being almost devoid of muscle must make it very difficult for her to put the required ‘oomph’ in to a dance that is composed entirely of aggression. After this performance I had Michelle down as favourite to go.
The last word must fall to my friend Maria, who believed that Michelle and Brendan had “Started off firm then wilted into softness. Bit like an erection.” It’s perhaps not the imagery that Brendan had intended to conjure with his Paso, but you can’t deny that it’s appropriate!
Patsy’s one of those individuals who has upped their game in the last few weeks, but even although the nation likes an underdog I still don’t feel she’s quite consistent enough to be considered a real threat to the likes of Kara and Scott. The improvement in her can certainly be seen and I think what is most readily apparent is that she is becoming much more assertive. After the first disastrous week she learned to let the actress out the bag and now, slowly, she’s beginning to pick up the technical side. But it’s not a natural thing, like it is to Kara. I think people appreciate the hard work she’s putting in but ultimately unless Patsy puts in a ‘mega-wow’ dance in the next few weeks I can’t see her making the last three.
This week I personally, even as someone who likes affable Patsy, thought she was over-scored. Not horribly so, but definitely some of the judges had been sucking blue smarties again because their good mood translated into some rather inflated scores. I know it’s all down to artistic interpretation but I really don’t like Viennese Waltzes that spend at least a third of the dance out of hold. Some may interpret this as an attempt to create a memorable image or do something different with what can sometimes be a potentially dull dance. Me, I call it cheating! Get in hold, woman! Spinning around for a full 90 seconds is what sorts the men and woman from the children!
Credit where it’s due, however. Like Pamela, Patsy finishes her arm lines beautifully. If she can work on her posture she may well become a much better ballroom performer than she is at Latin. The pale pink dress really suited her, too. Sometimes the dance was a bit hoppy and skippy but this was by far and away her best dance of the series.
Someone else who arguably put in their best performance was Gavin Henson; a man previously considered so static that even lichen refused to grow on him. This week however, comatose Gavin, whose facial expressions have previously resembled Alice in Wonderland’s dormouse awakening from his teapot related slumbers, finally managed to produce some energy and personality care of his quickstep! Hold back on the ‘Halleluiah Chorus’, however, as I am now going to get picky – and not directly with Gavin this time. Because I’m sorry, even if this could be considered the biggest breakthrough since the Channel tunnel wall was finally breached, this was nowhere near as good as the judges seemed to think! Sure, it had some memorable choreography (I’m ignoring the vote-winning assault on Bruno by Gavin’s puckered lips) and there was a lot to like about it, but there was a heck of a lot wrong with it, too!
It was scruffy in places, there were timing issues in places, there looked like a mini-mix up with the kicks in places. It was acted well, for sure, and was definitely Gavin’s best stab at getting into a role, but the scores he got...9s?!? Are you kidding me?!? I didn’t even think it was as good as Pamela’s and that only deserved an 8 at best! I can only assume some of the judges are trying to reward the meteoric turn-around in Gavin compared to what he was like a few weeks back, but if this is the case then that isn’t fair. You don’t give a two year old child the key to the house for learning how to use the potty!
Can you tell I’m still a bit miffed? Absolutely, hideously over-marked with 33 points.
Well, what can you say about Anne Widdecombe that hasn’t already been said? I thought this week may be difficult for her to be honest, as she seemed to be struggling (more than usual if this is at all possible) in her training videos. And the Foxtrot is notoriously tricky. Firstly, it’s really technical, and second it’s as boring as hell if not done by someone who’s performed it for years. Fortunately, Ann has the Foxtrot maestro Anton as a partner, who dutifully steered her around the floor with the consummate skill with which Bernie Clifton operates Oswald the Ostrich. Anne this week did attempt some basic steps, which is always good if you are genuinely interested in the dance aspect of the show, but I feared that the casual viewers who just tune in to see a potential car-wreck of a routine would have been bored.
Still, I think Anne would have been quietly satisfied with her 20 out of 40. The pink, hairy jacket that covered her shoulders worked well to cover the worst of her posture problems, even although you knew they were still there...a bit like covering a yeti in a giant tea cosy. The threat of the samba (you may need the brain bleach next week) will probably be enough to get her through again. Whereupon she will probably be wearing Oswald the Ostrich’s tail feathers on her derriere...
Hide. Run and hide now. You have been warned.
Kara and Artem produced a spellbinding Argentine Tango, it has to be said. She was very assured, the sharpness of the leg movements was incredible, and she really looked the part. It was an extremely exciting routine to watch. The only things that I wasn’t quite so keen on were that at times Kara seemed to take the lead. Rather than being solicited by a hot, smelly gaucho I felt Kara appeared to be the one touting for business! I always like the ‘you’re dancing with me/not interested/I’ve got lots of cash/yeah, okay then’ aspect of the dance. Kara seemed to have a lot of ‘come and get me, boys’ vibes going on...there wasn’t the dangerous atmosphere that I have come to associate with the AT. But it’s a minor quibble when all’s said and done. Whether it was technically as good as Rachel and Vincent’s, or as atmospheric as Mark and Karen’s, is open for debate but it’s the most I’ve enjoyed an AT since that fantastic night back in December 2006.
It takes a lot to make Felicity look stiff and elderly, but somehow that’s how she appeared in the Salsa. Her flexibility has always been her chief weapon but tonight, alas, she managed to look extremely bemused all the way through. It was to her credit that she kept going, especially during the very complicated armography sections that Vincent had incorporated into the routine. Some might criticise him and say he made it too complex, but I can understand why he did. With everyone else putting pedal to the metal to keep in the contest, safety first is not a winning attitude at this stage. Also, it shows a degree of trust in Felicity’s abilities to perform the dance (even if ultimately she wasn’t able to pull it off on the night).
It was scrappy and ragged round the edges, and it was probably along with Michelle’s Paso the most uncomfortable performance to watch. I can understand why the costumers didn’t want to put her in something too sexy but at the same time I think the covered-up look really did her no favours at all. These little things all added together to make a rather unholy mess, in particular the arm movements where it looked as if Mr Tickle had got himself tied up with Little Miss Somersault...
Hell’s donkeys...another rumba! This time it’s poor Matt Baker that has to suffer the indignation of knowing a significant section of the British population are watching him trying to act out a bizarre mating ritual told through the medium of dance. And all of this whilst wearing a dark satin shirt! Not a good look, to be honest.
At the time of watching this and jotting down some observations I think I may have been a tad harsh on Matt, but I do think (yet again) that the judges rated this far too highly. Certainly it was light years better than Scott’s attempt last week but it’s a dance that usually shows up the vast difference between a male pro and a celeb in a slashed-to-the-navel top, looking for all the world as if he wants the ground to open up and swallow him. Only Colin Jackson has performed a standout rumba amongst the men, although Matt Di Angelo had a more than decent stab at it.
I thought Mr Baker’s attempt started off strangely camp and then rapidly headed the other direction, with some of the expressions pulled alarmingly looking like some crazed stalker loose in Aliona’s apartment. And that just left me feeling plain uncomfortable. For this reason I think I was unable to give a proper assessment of the dance itself, although it appeared technically sound (with the exception of the spatula-like hands). It seemed a trifle overworked, as Len and Craig both pointed out, but at this point I wanted to hide behind a cushion in case Matt broke into a ‘here’ssssssssssssssss Johnny!’ moment. I was greatly creeped-out!
Last week the best was first; this week they saved the best to last, as the song goes. I’m not sure if it was worth the swathe of 10s or not, but I guess it was equal to Kara’s Argentine Tango, and I think probably a smidge better, so I suppose in the context of the show it was deserving the high scores. Not in the same league as Jill’s jive, but up there with Louisa Lytton’s as joint second best. The performance was great from Scotttttttttttttt and Natalie, and I didn’t even mind the gimmicky cardboard door this time as it played a pivotal part of the performance (and they didn’t over-use it). Great kicks and flicks, with energy that was maintained all the way through the routine. I’m starting to warm to Natalie this year as it’s clear she knows what makes Scott tick. Considering the disaster of last week, this week could have been very difficult for the pair of them but they seem to have dusted themselves down and got on with it.
The groups are starting to form now. There’s Scott, Kara and Matt almost on a level. There’s Pamela just a smidge behind. There’s Patsy and Gavin pretty much jostling for position behind the leaders, and Michelle and Felicity struggling to keep up.
And then there’s Anne.
Pamela and James were up first this week. I’m not sure how these things are drawn but it seems to me that Pam has gone first twice and been near the start on a few occasions now. Even although Kara danced first last week and stayed up the top of the leader board I doubt anyone would argue the fact it’s a clear disadvantage to be the first one to dance. Especially when you take Craig’s way of scoring in to consideration. Not one who’s afraid to use every paddle at his disposal if he feels it’s merited, Craig will base his scores in terms of what has gone before as well as what he’s just seen on the dance floor. The others leave themselves little room to manoeuvre by waving 9s around because 10 is the only way to go up, which leads to the extremely silly amount of 10s we’ve seen in recent years...
I think an 8 was fair for Pamela’s routine, especially in hindsight. At the time I could probably see one or two people thinking it was a 7, but it was worth more than that, and until they bring out a 7.5, what can you do? It was a clever routine from James (who I personally thought looked rather hot in his pinstripe suit and hat), albeit with the usual degree of faffing about at the start – although good in the context of the story I suppose. Pamela always finishes her arm lines beautifully but somehow, although it seemed joyous and happy, there wasn’t a lot of...sassiness to it. And if any word describes the cha cha cha then it’s ‘sass’. That’s why I loved Louisa Lytton’s cha cha cha in series 4, probably more than Alesha’s. I know the latter is considered one of the ‘iconic’ dances of Strictly but her bent legs in the Latin always remind me of a chicken wishbone. How was she allowed to get away with it???
Sometimes Pam’s balance doesn’t seem as good as the others. It sort of makes her a little more wobbly and uncertain. I think this is one area she needs to work at, because whilst she hasn’t slid down the pack and is as good as ever, she hasn’t progressed recently in the way that some of the others have.
Michelle and Brendan were up next with their Paso Doble. I loved Michelle’s dress and I thought that even although not a traditional shade associated with the dance it certainly added a lot of impact and drama, in the same way Natasha’s white Paso dress did way back in the mists of time. And certainly it seemed to empower Michelle at the start, who came out with so much attack that I thought she was about to perform the Hakka! But all too soon it skittered and slithered into a sort of blamangey nothingness; a weak and watery Paso. So weak in fact that if, on tonight’s performances, Scott was the cat that got the cream then Michelle was a little carton of UHT in comparison. It was a pity given the promise of the first 20 seconds, but Michelle looked increasingly out of her depth as it went on. The end, when it came, was a bit of a relief to all (especially Michelle by the look of it). Nothing was wrong with Brendan’s routine, however and it was just a shame that Michelle didn’t have the physical presence required to do it justice. Being almost devoid of muscle must make it very difficult for her to put the required ‘oomph’ in to a dance that is composed entirely of aggression. After this performance I had Michelle down as favourite to go.
The last word must fall to my friend Maria, who believed that Michelle and Brendan had “Started off firm then wilted into softness. Bit like an erection.” It’s perhaps not the imagery that Brendan had intended to conjure with his Paso, but you can’t deny that it’s appropriate!
Patsy’s one of those individuals who has upped their game in the last few weeks, but even although the nation likes an underdog I still don’t feel she’s quite consistent enough to be considered a real threat to the likes of Kara and Scott. The improvement in her can certainly be seen and I think what is most readily apparent is that she is becoming much more assertive. After the first disastrous week she learned to let the actress out the bag and now, slowly, she’s beginning to pick up the technical side. But it’s not a natural thing, like it is to Kara. I think people appreciate the hard work she’s putting in but ultimately unless Patsy puts in a ‘mega-wow’ dance in the next few weeks I can’t see her making the last three.
This week I personally, even as someone who likes affable Patsy, thought she was over-scored. Not horribly so, but definitely some of the judges had been sucking blue smarties again because their good mood translated into some rather inflated scores. I know it’s all down to artistic interpretation but I really don’t like Viennese Waltzes that spend at least a third of the dance out of hold. Some may interpret this as an attempt to create a memorable image or do something different with what can sometimes be a potentially dull dance. Me, I call it cheating! Get in hold, woman! Spinning around for a full 90 seconds is what sorts the men and woman from the children!
Credit where it’s due, however. Like Pamela, Patsy finishes her arm lines beautifully. If she can work on her posture she may well become a much better ballroom performer than she is at Latin. The pale pink dress really suited her, too. Sometimes the dance was a bit hoppy and skippy but this was by far and away her best dance of the series.
Someone else who arguably put in their best performance was Gavin Henson; a man previously considered so static that even lichen refused to grow on him. This week however, comatose Gavin, whose facial expressions have previously resembled Alice in Wonderland’s dormouse awakening from his teapot related slumbers, finally managed to produce some energy and personality care of his quickstep! Hold back on the ‘Halleluiah Chorus’, however, as I am now going to get picky – and not directly with Gavin this time. Because I’m sorry, even if this could be considered the biggest breakthrough since the Channel tunnel wall was finally breached, this was nowhere near as good as the judges seemed to think! Sure, it had some memorable choreography (I’m ignoring the vote-winning assault on Bruno by Gavin’s puckered lips) and there was a lot to like about it, but there was a heck of a lot wrong with it, too!
It was scruffy in places, there were timing issues in places, there looked like a mini-mix up with the kicks in places. It was acted well, for sure, and was definitely Gavin’s best stab at getting into a role, but the scores he got...9s?!? Are you kidding me?!? I didn’t even think it was as good as Pamela’s and that only deserved an 8 at best! I can only assume some of the judges are trying to reward the meteoric turn-around in Gavin compared to what he was like a few weeks back, but if this is the case then that isn’t fair. You don’t give a two year old child the key to the house for learning how to use the potty!
Can you tell I’m still a bit miffed? Absolutely, hideously over-marked with 33 points.
Well, what can you say about Anne Widdecombe that hasn’t already been said? I thought this week may be difficult for her to be honest, as she seemed to be struggling (more than usual if this is at all possible) in her training videos. And the Foxtrot is notoriously tricky. Firstly, it’s really technical, and second it’s as boring as hell if not done by someone who’s performed it for years. Fortunately, Ann has the Foxtrot maestro Anton as a partner, who dutifully steered her around the floor with the consummate skill with which Bernie Clifton operates Oswald the Ostrich. Anne this week did attempt some basic steps, which is always good if you are genuinely interested in the dance aspect of the show, but I feared that the casual viewers who just tune in to see a potential car-wreck of a routine would have been bored.
Still, I think Anne would have been quietly satisfied with her 20 out of 40. The pink, hairy jacket that covered her shoulders worked well to cover the worst of her posture problems, even although you knew they were still there...a bit like covering a yeti in a giant tea cosy. The threat of the samba (you may need the brain bleach next week) will probably be enough to get her through again. Whereupon she will probably be wearing Oswald the Ostrich’s tail feathers on her derriere...
Hide. Run and hide now. You have been warned.
Kara and Artem produced a spellbinding Argentine Tango, it has to be said. She was very assured, the sharpness of the leg movements was incredible, and she really looked the part. It was an extremely exciting routine to watch. The only things that I wasn’t quite so keen on were that at times Kara seemed to take the lead. Rather than being solicited by a hot, smelly gaucho I felt Kara appeared to be the one touting for business! I always like the ‘you’re dancing with me/not interested/I’ve got lots of cash/yeah, okay then’ aspect of the dance. Kara seemed to have a lot of ‘come and get me, boys’ vibes going on...there wasn’t the dangerous atmosphere that I have come to associate with the AT. But it’s a minor quibble when all’s said and done. Whether it was technically as good as Rachel and Vincent’s, or as atmospheric as Mark and Karen’s, is open for debate but it’s the most I’ve enjoyed an AT since that fantastic night back in December 2006.
It takes a lot to make Felicity look stiff and elderly, but somehow that’s how she appeared in the Salsa. Her flexibility has always been her chief weapon but tonight, alas, she managed to look extremely bemused all the way through. It was to her credit that she kept going, especially during the very complicated armography sections that Vincent had incorporated into the routine. Some might criticise him and say he made it too complex, but I can understand why he did. With everyone else putting pedal to the metal to keep in the contest, safety first is not a winning attitude at this stage. Also, it shows a degree of trust in Felicity’s abilities to perform the dance (even if ultimately she wasn’t able to pull it off on the night).
It was scrappy and ragged round the edges, and it was probably along with Michelle’s Paso the most uncomfortable performance to watch. I can understand why the costumers didn’t want to put her in something too sexy but at the same time I think the covered-up look really did her no favours at all. These little things all added together to make a rather unholy mess, in particular the arm movements where it looked as if Mr Tickle had got himself tied up with Little Miss Somersault...
Hell’s donkeys...another rumba! This time it’s poor Matt Baker that has to suffer the indignation of knowing a significant section of the British population are watching him trying to act out a bizarre mating ritual told through the medium of dance. And all of this whilst wearing a dark satin shirt! Not a good look, to be honest.
At the time of watching this and jotting down some observations I think I may have been a tad harsh on Matt, but I do think (yet again) that the judges rated this far too highly. Certainly it was light years better than Scott’s attempt last week but it’s a dance that usually shows up the vast difference between a male pro and a celeb in a slashed-to-the-navel top, looking for all the world as if he wants the ground to open up and swallow him. Only Colin Jackson has performed a standout rumba amongst the men, although Matt Di Angelo had a more than decent stab at it.
I thought Mr Baker’s attempt started off strangely camp and then rapidly headed the other direction, with some of the expressions pulled alarmingly looking like some crazed stalker loose in Aliona’s apartment. And that just left me feeling plain uncomfortable. For this reason I think I was unable to give a proper assessment of the dance itself, although it appeared technically sound (with the exception of the spatula-like hands). It seemed a trifle overworked, as Len and Craig both pointed out, but at this point I wanted to hide behind a cushion in case Matt broke into a ‘here’ssssssssssssssss Johnny!’ moment. I was greatly creeped-out!
Last week the best was first; this week they saved the best to last, as the song goes. I’m not sure if it was worth the swathe of 10s or not, but I guess it was equal to Kara’s Argentine Tango, and I think probably a smidge better, so I suppose in the context of the show it was deserving the high scores. Not in the same league as Jill’s jive, but up there with Louisa Lytton’s as joint second best. The performance was great from Scotttttttttttttt and Natalie, and I didn’t even mind the gimmicky cardboard door this time as it played a pivotal part of the performance (and they didn’t over-use it). Great kicks and flicks, with energy that was maintained all the way through the routine. I’m starting to warm to Natalie this year as it’s clear she knows what makes Scott tick. Considering the disaster of last week, this week could have been very difficult for the pair of them but they seem to have dusted themselves down and got on with it.
The groups are starting to form now. There’s Scott, Kara and Matt almost on a level. There’s Pamela just a smidge behind. There’s Patsy and Gavin pretty much jostling for position behind the leaders, and Michelle and Felicity struggling to keep up.
And then there’s Anne.
Thursday 11 November 2010
Result - 06/11/2010
Oh dear.
This was always going to happen. I'm not going to blame Anne like so many people in the media have been doing, all in the name of stirring mud, because it's the voters who are keeping the woman in. All she's doing is trying to entertain! Some people think she's as funny as incurable body fungus but the fact is that she's hitting the target with an awful lot of folks, as evidenced by the fact that she hasn't been in the bottom two once.
Of course, someone has to be in the bottom two. Poor old Michelle: I really am starting to feel sorry for her. She put in arguably her best performance and yet it wasn't enough to save her from the dreaded spotlight. But you couldn't exactly say it was a surprise to see her there, given that she seems to be just about pitching a tent on the floor each week in her reserved spot. The biggest shock was that Jimi and Flavia (who also gave their best performance) were in the bottom two as well - with Jimi being the one to go. The poor man was so shocked and upset that he couldn't speak. Even two days later on 'It Takes Two' he still couldn't speak.
They don't call the middle of the table 'the death zone' for nothing. Well, actually they don't call it that at all (I just put that one on for the Doctor Who fans amongst us). Fourth on the leaderboard at this stage is a very dodgy place to be, and it just goes to show that even although he had a reasonable following on the forums it wasn't enough to see him through.
But it does make it exciting! Now we know that nobody is safe.
Except for the indestructable HMS Widdecome!
This was always going to happen. I'm not going to blame Anne like so many people in the media have been doing, all in the name of stirring mud, because it's the voters who are keeping the woman in. All she's doing is trying to entertain! Some people think she's as funny as incurable body fungus but the fact is that she's hitting the target with an awful lot of folks, as evidenced by the fact that she hasn't been in the bottom two once.
Of course, someone has to be in the bottom two. Poor old Michelle: I really am starting to feel sorry for her. She put in arguably her best performance and yet it wasn't enough to save her from the dreaded spotlight. But you couldn't exactly say it was a surprise to see her there, given that she seems to be just about pitching a tent on the floor each week in her reserved spot. The biggest shock was that Jimi and Flavia (who also gave their best performance) were in the bottom two as well - with Jimi being the one to go. The poor man was so shocked and upset that he couldn't speak. Even two days later on 'It Takes Two' he still couldn't speak.
They don't call the middle of the table 'the death zone' for nothing. Well, actually they don't call it that at all (I just put that one on for the Doctor Who fans amongst us). Fourth on the leaderboard at this stage is a very dodgy place to be, and it just goes to show that even although he had a reasonable following on the forums it wasn't enough to see him through.
But it does make it exciting! Now we know that nobody is safe.
Except for the indestructable HMS Widdecome!
Sunday 7 November 2010
Strictly: Week Six
The problem with the latest round of Strictly was, through nobody’s fault, that the best performance happened first! And after Kara and Artem’s frisky Salsa, everything else seemed like a bit of an anti-climax.
That’s not to say that it was perfect. I’m wearing my Craig Revel-Horwood hat here, in that I’m starting to become picky! After all, what constitutes an all-time iconic Strictly dance? It has to have the right feel and look, the correct steps danced in a precise manner, and that little bit of indefinable magic about it as well. There’s no doubt that the Kara and Artem Salsa was pretty much bang on the money in terms of ‘wow’ and ‘performance’, but there was one tiny area in which I felt it failed. For me, it was so tricksy and complicated that the true meaning of Salsa was slightly sacrificed along the way.
The thing that made the Mark and Karen Salsa so special was that it still felt like two people having a good time, dancing together, with coherent linking steps and fluid armography. Yes, the performance aspect was there in spades, but it never for a second appeared ‘staged’. To an extent I felt with Kara and Artem’s dance that it was an actual routine, and it lost some of the joyous interaction of two individuals just having fun on the dance floor. Salsa is supposed to have freedom and joy. Kara’s performance had joy in spades, but there was a suspicion of it being IKEA Salsa: slot part A into part B, hammer into place and then on with the next bit!
That said, it was a delight to watch. She really has got the hang of living the dance now, and I think last week’s Paso may well have been a breakthrough performance from her. There’s a hint of real fire inside her, and if she can bring that to all her remaining dances then she deserves to make it to the final.
Pamela made a bit of a comeback this week, as was expected, although it is terribly difficult to shine in the Foxtrot. My opinions on this specific type of dance are well known: I can’t stand it. A really good one will stand out from the crowd but most are either average or dull. It has the appearance of being the most technical of the ballroom dances (I have no idea if this is the case or not), and all that slow-quick-quick nonsense and sticking your head out at an angle that makes you look like a giraffe with a dislocated neck does not appeal.
Whilst Pamela and James did a more than reasonable job it didn’t really sparkle, but that’s just the way this dance goes. I thought she had a good stab at it, looked very glam in her dark outfit, and although there were little wobbles and balance issues at one point it was still good enough to see her comfortably up near the top of the leader board where she has been accustomed to residing. I hope she continues her upward momentum: I know she’s a marmite figure to some, but she is never dull to watch when she takes to the floor.
Which leads me on to Felicity and Vincent. Felicity is pretty much the antithesis of Pamela in most respects. One is classy, cool and sophisticated, whilst the other is fun, brash and effervescent. One can express the nature of every dance in each performance whilst the other can express herself in every dance. I know which is the more pleasing to watch.
I was struck by the theatrical drama and beauty of Felicity’s Paso, inasmuch as a Paso can be beautiful. It was a new slant on a traditional dance, and an interesting one that still retained the feeling of the Paso. However, the dance still requires anger, aggression, violence, passion...and what we got almost felt like a watered down version because of the great artistry in it. Yes, I got the whole ‘Carmen’ vibe but it seemed to lack a considerable amount of guts and gore. I’m not advocating spearing actors and dancers in attempt to attain a sense of authenticity any more than I approve of doing the same to, as Tom Lehrer famously described it, “half a ton of angry pot roast.” But hey, if it improves the flavour of the dance they could maybe have stuck forks into each other during flamenco steps.
She’s clever, is Felicity, and works well to sell what she has. But if she doesn’t start to take it up a notch very soon she’s going to run out of weeks.
I enjoyed Jimi and Flavia very much tonight. Not perfect by a long way, but the Quickstep suited Jimi’s personality and tonight he managed to limit the technical errors to an extent and still perform extremely well. Slowly, it’s beginning to come together. I’m just concerned it’s not happening quickly enough. He clearly loves the ballroom more than the Latin, yet he has the personality that fits Latin better than ballroom! Perhaps this is why a quirky, performance based ballroom dance like this best suits him. He’s still in hold, but the chance to express himself is there too. Some nice choreography from Flavia, I thought, which kept the dance moving nicely around the floor. Certainly his best dance of the contest by a considerable margin.
Urgh. Tweeness alert! If you are of a sensitive nature and find ill-advised attempts at making a dance the embodiment of a chocolate box lid (or several flowery lines in a birthday card you might sent to your Great Aunt Maud), please don’t watch the recap on the results show. It’s difficult to make a Viennese Waltz special. Many have tried, few have succeeded. Matt and Aliona didn’t quite reach the dizzying heights achieved by Alesha/Matthew or Mark/Karen, but it wasn’t so much a matter of the footwork but the choreography. I don’t especially want to stick the knife into Aliona, but...a swing?!? Hanging from a flower decked arbour???
Please, please BBC – can we have a veto against props that need two stage hands to put them together?
A hat: okay. I can deal with a hat. You can do things with hats. You can throw them in the air; you can swap them around, throw them away, put them on the heads of the judges and pull them down tight over their eyes. Sticks: you can do all manner of things with sticks (some of them legal). I even found the unicycle acceptable. But a swing is just going too far. And if you need a swing to set the scene, you’re probably trying too hard to find an angle for a dance that is just basically two people spinning round and round a floor until their breakfast comes up. I’m not being swingist, by the way. I used to have one as a child. But then I was swinging on it, not trying to dance a Viennese Waltz that looked like it was advertising the ‘crumbliest, flakiest chocolate’ in the world...
I guess I ought to say that the bits that didn’t involve copious scenery were actually quite good. I thought the fleckerl was a bit sticky but by and large the dancing was elegant and refined. But – shock horror – I agreed with Alesha on one thing. Matt sometimes looked so intense that I thought his head would explode, like something in the last five minutes of Raiders of the Lost Ark. His body is usually fairly relaxed, but his eyes sometimes give the impression he’s just had his fingernails or some other extraneous part of his body removed by large, metal pliers.
There’s not much I can say about Ann and Anton, except that you can expect them to be back next week. In fact you can expect them to be dancing in the 2011 series of Strictly at this rate. Why, you are asking? It’s not like they actually do much in the way of actual dancing! And the answer is: because everyone wants to see what they are going to do next. We’ve had flying Albatross Widdecombe. We’ve had electric floor sweeper Widdecombe. This week we had a ‘No Sex, Please...’ Charleston. Kudos to Anton in skilfully incorporating Anne’s dislike of flashing flesh into the routine and making a joke of it with his comedic attempts to flip her into a cartwheel. I did find it amusing. But when better dancers are surely going to suffer, I find it slightly less amusing.
Fair enough, she’s in it to win it as much as anyone else. I just wonder what would actually happen if she did win! Chris Parker, who was possibly the least talented individual to get to a final (the dance equivalent of Foinavon winning the 1967 Grand National) eventually lost to Natasha in the first series when the public realised it was a joke too far. However, has Anne entered the public psyche to the extent where she might win the whole shebang? And if she did, what then for the show? You may as well bring back ‘It’s A Knockout’ or ‘The Generation Game’...
After last week’s ‘Timewarpgate’ Michelle and Brendan performed a very nice, floaty waltz to a tune that probably gives Rampants up and down the country palpitations at the very sound of it. Yes, the song that was used during the dreaded Ramps rumba that had zillions of fans scurrying to mortgage their houses just to make sure they could pay for all the calls to keep their man in the contest, surfaced once again. Horrible song, but a rather understated and elegant waltz. You couldn’t say it was the most stunning thing you’ve ever seen but it certainly didn’t offend the eyes, and slowly Michelle looks like she’s beginning to understand what it takes to be good at this ballroom malarkey. Just like Jimi she managed to put in her best performance to date, with reasonably good posture and no sign of any gapping between her and Brendan. She is getting better, but the fact she’s repeatedly been in the bottom two tells a story in itself. Sooner rather than later, Michelle is going to exit stage left.
Patsy screwed up again, but conversely she looks a little stronger each week both in herself and in her technique. The ‘Kylie’ look suited her very much (a bit cruel of Craig to suggest chavvy, even if it was amusing), and she has learned to just keep going no matter how hideously it goes wrong and not to show her misgivings on her face. That is the mark of a performer, because it went quite badly for her in the middle of the routine and was fairly painful to watch at times. Credit to Patsy: selling yourself when the world around you tries not to stare in disbelief is a tricky art. Just ask Lady Godiva. Although if she’d attempted a cha-cha-cha I suspect Peeping Tom may well have got more than an eyeful...
SCOTT AND NATALIE ARE NOT INVINCIBLE! I want to shout it from the roofs of every house in the land, and thank goodness they aren’t because nobody likes someone to be good at everything. It makes a person seem more ordinary if they are subject to human frailties like other mortals. If I want to see robotic attempts to conquer the world I will stick ‘Genesis of the Daleks’ into my DVD player. And why were Scott and Natalie flawed and ‘normal’ this evening??? What caused them to fall from the summit of Mount Olympus? Of course: the one thing that cuts most mere mortals down to size – the Strictly weapon of mass destruction, otherwise known as ‘the rumba’.
The fact that he only received a muted ‘Scotttttttttt!’ from Bruno was indicative of the fact that Mr Maslan’s hips moved with the fluidity of a pair of windscreen wipers that had lost their rubbery bits. They went left, they went right, and they went back and forwards as you would expect them to. But it was all jerky, jagged movements and none of the cat-like grace we’ve come to expect from Scott over the last few weeks. The rumba claimed another male victim, smote with the embarrassment factor that this particular dance entails. For those who find it disconcertingly posey and touchy-feely it must be one of the worst experiences you can imagine: like declaring your impotence to millions of viewers up and down the country all in the name of public entertainment!
Craig gave Scott a 4. Whilst this was extremely harsh it didn’t surprise me (he gave Mark a 5 a few years ago), and we are used to Craig using the full range of paddles at his command. Len doesn’t seem to own a paddle under 5, but even so the 9 he gave Scott was even more ridiculous than Craig’s 4! How can he justify giving the same score he awarded Kara’s fabulous Salsa when Scott’s rumba was pretty excruciating to watch at times??? Len, get ye hence to Specsavers is all I can say.
Gavin managed to keep his clothes on this week, which came as a relief. Most people, when they hear the term ‘smashing orangey bit in the middle’ think of Jaffa cakes. I think of Gav’s torso. For all that, I detected a marginal improvement in Gavin this week. He’s still as dull as a ‘Time Team’ dig where the only thing discovered is a heap of mud in a prehistoric ditch, but at least there was an attempt to display some skills this week. Katya has to work with what she has, and it isn’t very much to be honest, but she has done well to utilise what’s there. Now she appears to be realising that she has to crank it up a notch, and that was what she did with the weird rugby inspired/cheerleader cha-cha. Not sure about the rugby ball thing at the start with Hoody Henson spinning it on his finger, but at least the familiarity of the prop appeared to give Gavin some confidence. And there were one or two nice moves amongst the routine, although I do think Katya’s going to have to keep cranking it up, or Gavin’s going to be kicked into touch in the next couple of weeks...
That’s not to say that it was perfect. I’m wearing my Craig Revel-Horwood hat here, in that I’m starting to become picky! After all, what constitutes an all-time iconic Strictly dance? It has to have the right feel and look, the correct steps danced in a precise manner, and that little bit of indefinable magic about it as well. There’s no doubt that the Kara and Artem Salsa was pretty much bang on the money in terms of ‘wow’ and ‘performance’, but there was one tiny area in which I felt it failed. For me, it was so tricksy and complicated that the true meaning of Salsa was slightly sacrificed along the way.
The thing that made the Mark and Karen Salsa so special was that it still felt like two people having a good time, dancing together, with coherent linking steps and fluid armography. Yes, the performance aspect was there in spades, but it never for a second appeared ‘staged’. To an extent I felt with Kara and Artem’s dance that it was an actual routine, and it lost some of the joyous interaction of two individuals just having fun on the dance floor. Salsa is supposed to have freedom and joy. Kara’s performance had joy in spades, but there was a suspicion of it being IKEA Salsa: slot part A into part B, hammer into place and then on with the next bit!
That said, it was a delight to watch. She really has got the hang of living the dance now, and I think last week’s Paso may well have been a breakthrough performance from her. There’s a hint of real fire inside her, and if she can bring that to all her remaining dances then she deserves to make it to the final.
Pamela made a bit of a comeback this week, as was expected, although it is terribly difficult to shine in the Foxtrot. My opinions on this specific type of dance are well known: I can’t stand it. A really good one will stand out from the crowd but most are either average or dull. It has the appearance of being the most technical of the ballroom dances (I have no idea if this is the case or not), and all that slow-quick-quick nonsense and sticking your head out at an angle that makes you look like a giraffe with a dislocated neck does not appeal.
Whilst Pamela and James did a more than reasonable job it didn’t really sparkle, but that’s just the way this dance goes. I thought she had a good stab at it, looked very glam in her dark outfit, and although there were little wobbles and balance issues at one point it was still good enough to see her comfortably up near the top of the leader board where she has been accustomed to residing. I hope she continues her upward momentum: I know she’s a marmite figure to some, but she is never dull to watch when she takes to the floor.
Which leads me on to Felicity and Vincent. Felicity is pretty much the antithesis of Pamela in most respects. One is classy, cool and sophisticated, whilst the other is fun, brash and effervescent. One can express the nature of every dance in each performance whilst the other can express herself in every dance. I know which is the more pleasing to watch.
I was struck by the theatrical drama and beauty of Felicity’s Paso, inasmuch as a Paso can be beautiful. It was a new slant on a traditional dance, and an interesting one that still retained the feeling of the Paso. However, the dance still requires anger, aggression, violence, passion...and what we got almost felt like a watered down version because of the great artistry in it. Yes, I got the whole ‘Carmen’ vibe but it seemed to lack a considerable amount of guts and gore. I’m not advocating spearing actors and dancers in attempt to attain a sense of authenticity any more than I approve of doing the same to, as Tom Lehrer famously described it, “half a ton of angry pot roast.” But hey, if it improves the flavour of the dance they could maybe have stuck forks into each other during flamenco steps.
She’s clever, is Felicity, and works well to sell what she has. But if she doesn’t start to take it up a notch very soon she’s going to run out of weeks.
I enjoyed Jimi and Flavia very much tonight. Not perfect by a long way, but the Quickstep suited Jimi’s personality and tonight he managed to limit the technical errors to an extent and still perform extremely well. Slowly, it’s beginning to come together. I’m just concerned it’s not happening quickly enough. He clearly loves the ballroom more than the Latin, yet he has the personality that fits Latin better than ballroom! Perhaps this is why a quirky, performance based ballroom dance like this best suits him. He’s still in hold, but the chance to express himself is there too. Some nice choreography from Flavia, I thought, which kept the dance moving nicely around the floor. Certainly his best dance of the contest by a considerable margin.
Urgh. Tweeness alert! If you are of a sensitive nature and find ill-advised attempts at making a dance the embodiment of a chocolate box lid (or several flowery lines in a birthday card you might sent to your Great Aunt Maud), please don’t watch the recap on the results show. It’s difficult to make a Viennese Waltz special. Many have tried, few have succeeded. Matt and Aliona didn’t quite reach the dizzying heights achieved by Alesha/Matthew or Mark/Karen, but it wasn’t so much a matter of the footwork but the choreography. I don’t especially want to stick the knife into Aliona, but...a swing?!? Hanging from a flower decked arbour???
Please, please BBC – can we have a veto against props that need two stage hands to put them together?
A hat: okay. I can deal with a hat. You can do things with hats. You can throw them in the air; you can swap them around, throw them away, put them on the heads of the judges and pull them down tight over their eyes. Sticks: you can do all manner of things with sticks (some of them legal). I even found the unicycle acceptable. But a swing is just going too far. And if you need a swing to set the scene, you’re probably trying too hard to find an angle for a dance that is just basically two people spinning round and round a floor until their breakfast comes up. I’m not being swingist, by the way. I used to have one as a child. But then I was swinging on it, not trying to dance a Viennese Waltz that looked like it was advertising the ‘crumbliest, flakiest chocolate’ in the world...
I guess I ought to say that the bits that didn’t involve copious scenery were actually quite good. I thought the fleckerl was a bit sticky but by and large the dancing was elegant and refined. But – shock horror – I agreed with Alesha on one thing. Matt sometimes looked so intense that I thought his head would explode, like something in the last five minutes of Raiders of the Lost Ark. His body is usually fairly relaxed, but his eyes sometimes give the impression he’s just had his fingernails or some other extraneous part of his body removed by large, metal pliers.
There’s not much I can say about Ann and Anton, except that you can expect them to be back next week. In fact you can expect them to be dancing in the 2011 series of Strictly at this rate. Why, you are asking? It’s not like they actually do much in the way of actual dancing! And the answer is: because everyone wants to see what they are going to do next. We’ve had flying Albatross Widdecombe. We’ve had electric floor sweeper Widdecombe. This week we had a ‘No Sex, Please...’ Charleston. Kudos to Anton in skilfully incorporating Anne’s dislike of flashing flesh into the routine and making a joke of it with his comedic attempts to flip her into a cartwheel. I did find it amusing. But when better dancers are surely going to suffer, I find it slightly less amusing.
Fair enough, she’s in it to win it as much as anyone else. I just wonder what would actually happen if she did win! Chris Parker, who was possibly the least talented individual to get to a final (the dance equivalent of Foinavon winning the 1967 Grand National) eventually lost to Natasha in the first series when the public realised it was a joke too far. However, has Anne entered the public psyche to the extent where she might win the whole shebang? And if she did, what then for the show? You may as well bring back ‘It’s A Knockout’ or ‘The Generation Game’...
After last week’s ‘Timewarpgate’ Michelle and Brendan performed a very nice, floaty waltz to a tune that probably gives Rampants up and down the country palpitations at the very sound of it. Yes, the song that was used during the dreaded Ramps rumba that had zillions of fans scurrying to mortgage their houses just to make sure they could pay for all the calls to keep their man in the contest, surfaced once again. Horrible song, but a rather understated and elegant waltz. You couldn’t say it was the most stunning thing you’ve ever seen but it certainly didn’t offend the eyes, and slowly Michelle looks like she’s beginning to understand what it takes to be good at this ballroom malarkey. Just like Jimi she managed to put in her best performance to date, with reasonably good posture and no sign of any gapping between her and Brendan. She is getting better, but the fact she’s repeatedly been in the bottom two tells a story in itself. Sooner rather than later, Michelle is going to exit stage left.
Patsy screwed up again, but conversely she looks a little stronger each week both in herself and in her technique. The ‘Kylie’ look suited her very much (a bit cruel of Craig to suggest chavvy, even if it was amusing), and she has learned to just keep going no matter how hideously it goes wrong and not to show her misgivings on her face. That is the mark of a performer, because it went quite badly for her in the middle of the routine and was fairly painful to watch at times. Credit to Patsy: selling yourself when the world around you tries not to stare in disbelief is a tricky art. Just ask Lady Godiva. Although if she’d attempted a cha-cha-cha I suspect Peeping Tom may well have got more than an eyeful...
SCOTT AND NATALIE ARE NOT INVINCIBLE! I want to shout it from the roofs of every house in the land, and thank goodness they aren’t because nobody likes someone to be good at everything. It makes a person seem more ordinary if they are subject to human frailties like other mortals. If I want to see robotic attempts to conquer the world I will stick ‘Genesis of the Daleks’ into my DVD player. And why were Scott and Natalie flawed and ‘normal’ this evening??? What caused them to fall from the summit of Mount Olympus? Of course: the one thing that cuts most mere mortals down to size – the Strictly weapon of mass destruction, otherwise known as ‘the rumba’.
The fact that he only received a muted ‘Scotttttttttt!’ from Bruno was indicative of the fact that Mr Maslan’s hips moved with the fluidity of a pair of windscreen wipers that had lost their rubbery bits. They went left, they went right, and they went back and forwards as you would expect them to. But it was all jerky, jagged movements and none of the cat-like grace we’ve come to expect from Scott over the last few weeks. The rumba claimed another male victim, smote with the embarrassment factor that this particular dance entails. For those who find it disconcertingly posey and touchy-feely it must be one of the worst experiences you can imagine: like declaring your impotence to millions of viewers up and down the country all in the name of public entertainment!
Craig gave Scott a 4. Whilst this was extremely harsh it didn’t surprise me (he gave Mark a 5 a few years ago), and we are used to Craig using the full range of paddles at his command. Len doesn’t seem to own a paddle under 5, but even so the 9 he gave Scott was even more ridiculous than Craig’s 4! How can he justify giving the same score he awarded Kara’s fabulous Salsa when Scott’s rumba was pretty excruciating to watch at times??? Len, get ye hence to Specsavers is all I can say.
Gavin managed to keep his clothes on this week, which came as a relief. Most people, when they hear the term ‘smashing orangey bit in the middle’ think of Jaffa cakes. I think of Gav’s torso. For all that, I detected a marginal improvement in Gavin this week. He’s still as dull as a ‘Time Team’ dig where the only thing discovered is a heap of mud in a prehistoric ditch, but at least there was an attempt to display some skills this week. Katya has to work with what she has, and it isn’t very much to be honest, but she has done well to utilise what’s there. Now she appears to be realising that she has to crank it up a notch, and that was what she did with the weird rugby inspired/cheerleader cha-cha. Not sure about the rugby ball thing at the start with Hoody Henson spinning it on his finger, but at least the familiarity of the prop appeared to give Gavin some confidence. And there were one or two nice moves amongst the routine, although I do think Katya’s going to have to keep cranking it up, or Gavin’s going to be kicked into touch in the next couple of weeks...
Wednesday 3 November 2010
Result - 30/10/10
Halloween is supposed to bring shocks. I think it would be unfair to call Tina and Jared's departure a shock, more of a surprise really, yet the fact remains that as long as people are going to vote for Anne then somebody who is let's face it better is going to go. It's just a question of how much better and in what order.
I'm not having a crack at Anne. She'll stay in for as long as people want to see her. And I don't for a minute think Tina was going to win...there were a few factors against her, including "new pro partner" syndrome. And with all due to Jared, who looks like a pleasant individual, he probably has made the least impact of the three new blokes the BBC brought in this year. Additionally, "sweet" never won a dance contest. There's nothing wrong with being sweet, by the way, except that it's one of those attributes along with "nice" that tends to see you labeled somewhat unfairly as boring, in a Sandra Dee way.
Look at who has won before. We've had elegance (Natasha), brilliance (Jill), laddishness (Darren), hotness(Mark), bubbliness (Alesha), suaveness (Tom), chirpyness (Chris). Nowhere amongst these characterisics is 'nice'.
Still, there's no doubt that Tina went at least a few weeks before you might have expected to, and she was improving a little so we will never know how good she might have got in the long run. Felicity, as predicted, was in the bottom two and she's going to have to channel her inner bull if she's to paso her way to safety this week. I hope she manages to cling on a little longer: I'll miss Vincent and his syncopated eyebrows!
I'm not having a crack at Anne. She'll stay in for as long as people want to see her. And I don't for a minute think Tina was going to win...there were a few factors against her, including "new pro partner" syndrome. And with all due to Jared, who looks like a pleasant individual, he probably has made the least impact of the three new blokes the BBC brought in this year. Additionally, "sweet" never won a dance contest. There's nothing wrong with being sweet, by the way, except that it's one of those attributes along with "nice" that tends to see you labeled somewhat unfairly as boring, in a Sandra Dee way.
Look at who has won before. We've had elegance (Natasha), brilliance (Jill), laddishness (Darren), hotness(Mark), bubbliness (Alesha), suaveness (Tom), chirpyness (Chris). Nowhere amongst these characterisics is 'nice'.
Still, there's no doubt that Tina went at least a few weeks before you might have expected to, and she was improving a little so we will never know how good she might have got in the long run. Felicity, as predicted, was in the bottom two and she's going to have to channel her inner bull if she's to paso her way to safety this week. I hope she manages to cling on a little longer: I'll miss Vincent and his syncopated eyebrows!
Sunday 31 October 2010
Strictly: Week Five
We’ve gone all spooky and ghostie for tonight’s round of Strictly Come Dancing. I have mixed feelings about this. A part of me really likes the ‘themed’ idea as it’s fun, gives the dancers a chance to really have a good time, and just spice the format up a little. But the problem remains that if you change the nature of the dances too much, as this theme malarkey invariably does, you are at risk of ending up with a rather unappetising mish-mash.
I was surprised earlier in the week to find out that the Argentine Tango, previously held up as the last big test of nerve in the semi-final – the gold standard of excellence, as it were – had been given as an option for the couples this week. I can understand the logic in a way because it means that if anyone does an AT early on that is really outstanding, it gives them a chance to do it in the final should they want to. Still, I remain slightly disappointed that we’ve lost the AT as the final Strictly summit. Somehow, pushing it down amongst the other dances has lessened its status.
First up on the night was James Jordan and Pamela, dancing a jive whilst bedecked head to foot in devilish red. James even sported pointed cranial protuberances (cue obligatory horny joke) and fangs, a look that he seemed quite at ease with. I couldn’t fault Pam’s enthusiasm because she genuinely seemed to love the jive but it didn’t look especially good from my side of the telly. There were mistakes in it, to be honest, and at times it was scrappy. It was a little flat-footed and the flicks weren’t perhaps as sharp as they could be, but the one thing I did like was that the theme wasn’t allowed to interfere too much with the flavour of the jive, for which I think James has to be commended. However, it was probably Pamela’s least best (I don’t really want to use the word ‘worst’ for someone who obviously puts in a heck of a lot of effort each week) dance of all those she has done so far, and the judges more or less had it about right. I’d have given it a 7.
Next, Tina and Jared. Tina was, I am informed, wearing ‘pleather’, which sounds like a rather kinky mixture of ‘pleasure’ and ‘lather’. In fact it’s a plastic based faux leather, that instantly brought to mind Sandy in the last ten minutes of ‘Grease’, but only slightly more vamp. Big, eighties hair as well. And I mean BIG. The amount of hairspray used must surely have depleted the ozone layer by a further twenty percent at least. And as for the back-combing, it was as if Chewbacca had been given a makeover...
I think this was one of the instances I was dreading where the Halloween theme completely wrecked the dance. The music may have been powerful and dramatic but it didn’t convey the brooding danger or the emotion of the Argentine Tango. More than any dance the AT is visceral; part visual and part sensual. You can stick in as many kicks and flicks as you want, as many powerful hooks and dramatic lifts as required, but if it attempts to be too technical then it’s as boring as hell. Too theatrical and it’s a poor imitation of two people trying to do something with a few AT moves thrown in. Alas, Tina and Jared’s dance fell very much into the latter category. It all seemed a bit lacklustre, dull and feeble in places. In one respect it was good, in that it probably was their best dance to date, but a watery AT (albeit one with a few nice lifts) isn’t going to get anyone’s juices going. Another 7 from me, possibly a 6 because even Pamela’s unpolished effort had more believability.
Oh, and during the judge’s critique Bruno nearly smacked Alesha in the mouth (accidentally, I think). Not that I detest Alesha, but in terms of unintentional hilarity it was probably the highlight of the evening!
Now, I like a bit of ‘Phantom of the Opera’. It reminds me of my days at High School, trying to belt it out in the music room at break time with a little help from some similarly obsessive friends. Perhaps I am therefore predisposed to like something that looks as if it has a little Phantom magic sprinkled over it, but in truth I really thought Kara and Artem’s Paso was well danced, finely choreographed – and actually worked well in the context of the whole ‘themed’ evening. It wasn’t the best dance of the night (more on that later) but it was probably my favourite looking at it from an overall perspective. And finally – at last – Kara managed to instil some much needed fire and intensity into her performance. All the midweek histrionics must have worked a treat. Sure, Kara will probably have buried her stiletto in Artem’s head by the end of the series, but it’s a small price to pay if we’re going to get performances like this for the next however many weeks. A very worthy 9 from me, because there were one or two mistakes in it and however small they were still noticeable.
Noticeable to all except Alesha, who gave it a 10. I could have had money on Alesha giving the first perfect score of the series.
Now, Patsy and Robin. For some reason Robin has dressed as a brussel sprout. Oh, of course: we’re doing theme stuff again. The outfit doesn’t quite work though, and the reason for that is that he hasn’t gone quite far enough with it. Look at James ‘second coming of Satan’ Jordan! Look at Brendan (more on that later)! Why didn’t Robin paint himself entirely green instead of wearing a shirt that looked as if it was a Captain Kirk hand-me-down fashioned from boiled cabbage?
Costume aside, a good, solid effort from Patsy. I thought it was fractionally better than Pamela’s, which surprised me a little as the training footage in the week definitely didn’t favour Patsy at all. Looks like Robin’s boot-camp style fitness regime is paying off a little, although frankly (speaking as a member of the ‘I’m hibernating, speak to me in April’ brigade) I’d have playfully kicked him in the nuts if he made me go jogging all the time.
Now, Patsy is someone I like very much although I think she has a snowflake’s chance in Hades of winning. But for some reason her legs always seem to look as if they are weighted down with lead in every dance, and I’m not entirely sure why. Every week I feel like I’m writing the same critique: some small timing issues, enthusiasm but no dramatic improvement, general lack of energy. Actually, that reads like my school report from the age of 6 to 12. Yet somehow she remains utterly likeable. There was a fair bit of time wasting at the star of the routine but I will forgive this in those doing the jive, because it’s such a high-energy dance that even the fittest will probably feel like collapsing at the end of it. I thought it was another 7, although I’d have given 7.5 on the pumpkinometer if such a thing existed.
Next, Felicity and Vincent. Gold stars are deserved for using the Waltz from Shostakovich’s Jazz Suite, which ironically felt out of place because of all the rubbish...er, sorry, pop music that the others were using. There was a high proportion of faffing about at the start, but it was stately, elegant faffing and I guess it formed part of the overall story so I will just about let Vincent get away with it. That said, Felicity’s footwork was a bit hit and miss this time and she seemed to skip about a little, which meant that it wasn’t as graceful as I’d have expected. It just didn’t flow in the way you would hope a Viennese Waltz to. I’m not really sure Felicity is going to last very long in this show. A 6 from me, because I was a little disappointed.
Jimi and Flavia...oh, crumbs! Those eyes! I must be a perverse individual. I’ve never really found Jimi especially hot before but I rather thought the upwardly swept wolfman hair and freaky contact lenses actually made him look rather dishy! Not sure what that says about me, really...
Moving swiftly on. I find Jimi a very puzzling performer. There’s so much he gets right and so much he gets wrong, all in the space of one dance! I think the performance aspect comes naturally and he works it as hard as he can, sometimes too hard, and as a result it gets a little ragged in other areas. Tonight was the same: I rather enjoyed his Paso tribute to Michael Jackson and I thought it worked reasonably well within the horror theme of the evening, and yet there’s a tiny part of me that felt if he hadn’t had the whole ‘Thriller’ crutch to perform to and had been asked to do a traditional Paso he may have done less well. I’d like to comment on his footwork but at times it was so covered in dry ice smoke that you couldn’t see a damn thing! Maybe that was the plan? It seemed a tad clumpy and heavy, but as he was supposed to be dancing like a thing escaped from a crypt I suppose you might say he fulfilled his task!
Flavia’s dress was really lovely, by the way. And Jimi was one of the few people I have ever seen on 8 series of the show to make the see-thru matador top attractive! But I’m afraid it’s another 7 from me, and most of that was for the cat eyes...
Those who know about the Rocky Horror Picture Show, have gone to see a production of it (and spent ages picking rice out of their hair/cleavage/insert relevant body parts here) dressed as French maids or watched the film with Tim Curry in it will actually realise why Brendan looks like Lurch’s prettier younger brother. Those who haven’t are probably wondering why Brendan has aged 50 years and resembled Mr Pinch from Martin Chuzzlewit! Perhaps a swift refresher course on ‘Rocky Horror’ via the wonders of You Tube will calm everyone who feared that Brendan’s unfortunate trip to New Zealand resulted in an excessive amount of exposure to radioactive material.
I saw both sides of the judging argument to be honest. This must be a difficult series for Len to sit through. He’s there to pronounce on technique, when by and large technique is being sacrificed for performance. He’s there to make sure rules are followed...yet the rules have been thrown out the window! There are lifts galore these days, and so much of the structure of the actual dance is lost to time wasting, with alien steps added to pad out a routine. Looking at it purely from Len’s side of the desk I can understand that Brendan and Michelle’s Rocky pastiche was just a jump to the left and a step to the right too far (pardon the pun).
From Craig and Bruno’s point of view as choreographers, and Alesha’s as a...er...a...actually I’m not sure what Alesha’s role is, so I think we’ll be kind and call her a neutral observer, the performance was wild, frantic, goofy, fun, energetic and completely bonkers! And despite being neither Brendan’s biggest fan or especially enjoying any of Michelle’s dances so far, I can honestly say I really liked this. It was as mad as a couple of ferrets stuffed down plus four trousers! But of course, poor old Len had a conniption fit and complained that the last half of the dance didn’t actually have any proper jive steps in it (which was true), leading to the traditional spat where Brendan nearly combusted with apoplexy.
This was a tricky one to score. It was in some respects better than the other jives and yet, probably due to the amount of time lost through Michelle’s ankle injury, it was limited slightly in a chorographical sense and there were a lot of errors all the way through. Entertainment-wise it was great and I want to give it 8, but in the end I gave it a 7, despite the masterly manic performance from Michelle! Altogether now... “It’s just a jump to the left!”
Oh god...here come the pecs. Having no doubt spent most of the week (when not signing for Saracens or learning how to pull faces for the acting coach) rubbing beeswax into his chest, Gavin has decided to guarantee his continued participation in the contest for a further week by performing a semi-nude Paso. And yes, I can admire a sculpted torso as much as the next person. But the little cynical devil whispering in my ear is telling me that cuprinol-boy has decided to flash the flesh to distract attention from his footwork. Is that wrong of me to be so suspicious? Maybe Anne Widdecombe is going to do the same next week?
I can only assume that the standing ovation was for the six-pack rather than Gavin himself. It was all a bit meh for me, apart from the surprise ‘Buck’s Fizz’ style dress removal moment that reduced Katya to her swimwear. Gavin did hit the odd nice shape, and it was more powerful than Jimi’s Paso but to be honest whilst it wasn’t grim, it wasn’t great either. I still didn’t see much in the way of emoting from him and he seems to have been carved from the bit of wood that Gepetto threw away. Next week, folks, be prepared to see Gavin doing the Viennese Waltz wearing only a pair of boxers with a ‘kiss me quick’ sign painted on his body, because it seems that this year pretty much anything goes. An improvement on last week was the general assessment, and if one can improve on posturing, walking about and posing then Gavin certainly managed it...
A 6 from me, but possibly bordering on a 7.
Ah, now we come to the dance of the evening. And, surprise surprise, it was from Scottttttttt and Natalie. Oddly enough I’m starting to warm slightly to Natalie. I think it helps if you’re paired with someone who is half decent at dancing but appears to be an engaging person on at least one level. Last year I just couldn’t quite get the appeal of Ricky Whittle (who I found a tad vacant) and Natalie, but I rather like her with Scott and am beginning to see how clever at times her choreography can be.
Kudos for actually making a Viennese waltz that had a Halloween theme, yet didn’t egg it excessively, and could have been a straightforward and beautiful routine in any normal situation with the odd tweak at the start to cut out the cauldron malarkey. I’m not going to go on at length about this routine because with only three steps it’s rather difficult to make an interesting review, except to say that Scott has probably got the best posture when dancing ballroom that I have seen for many a year in a male celeb. As for the scores, I guess Alesha had no choice to give another 10 considering she’d already given one to a dance that was probably – just – a smidgeon less worthy than Scott and Natalie’s, and accordingly Len and Bruno didn’t have much room for manoeuvre either, with all three of them bestowing maximum scores. Only Craig showed some much needed sanity with his 9. It’s far too early to be using 10s...I may be an old stick-in-the-mud, but I can remember back to the days when you had to sleep with one of the judges in order to get a 10.
I don’t suppose either Anne or Anton have made any such propositions to the judges (if they have I don’t want to know about it). Cyclone Widdicombe didn’t fly in on a broomstick this week (missed a trick there, folks), but managed to produce a comedy Paso doble that would have given John Sergeant a run (or march) for his money. There was a lot of stomping, clumping and out-loud counting, with Anton swinging Ann around until she resembled one of the killer Christmas trees from Doctor Who’s ‘The Christmas Invasion’. Ann’s costume reminded me of one of those rather gaudy festive bell-shaped decorations that you fold out and stick to the roof with a drawing pin! I rather think Craig’s “OMG” just about summed it all up (although I had to explain what that meant to my mother), but I will say that Ann didn’t half give the floor a nice sweep at the end. 3 out of 10 would be a kindness.
Next week, it will be Anton in the harness. Connected to a very large truss for the hernia he undoubtedly just picked up...
And now Matt Baker and Aliona. No comments this week from maitre regarding Aliona’s hair...she’s maybe becoming desensitised! This is the second Argentine Tango of the day, and in terms of story it was only marginally more successful. I’m sorry, but the gothic AT experiment has not worked at all. It’s taken a great big stake and malletted it through the heart. For all that, you can’t criticise Matt’s dancing (or his guyliner) but it was again a somewhat imbalanced mixture of style and flash over substance. His posture was at times a little dubious but he is a natural mover; it just wasn’t his dance. Ramps can relax for the time being: I don’t see anyone challenging his ‘best male celeb at the AT’ crown any time soon (I’m not counting Ricky Whittle because I didn’t think his was as good, frankly).
Over all, it was a bit of a daft evening. But then I think it was meant to be. Pamela ended up surprisingly near the bottom after so many weeks near the top. Patsy and Robin finished in fourth place on the leader board! And down towards the bottom Felicity, Gavin and Anne find themselves in real trouble. This is a bit of an interesting one to call, because it will be a test of the pulling power of Gavin’s body, Vincent’s many female fans and members of the Conservative party’s ability to pick up a phone and hit redial. Felicity probably only has a few weeks dancing left in her, so I would think she will be in the bottom two, but who else might join her? Michelle and Brendan? Jimi and Flavia? It’s a thriller night after all!
I was surprised earlier in the week to find out that the Argentine Tango, previously held up as the last big test of nerve in the semi-final – the gold standard of excellence, as it were – had been given as an option for the couples this week. I can understand the logic in a way because it means that if anyone does an AT early on that is really outstanding, it gives them a chance to do it in the final should they want to. Still, I remain slightly disappointed that we’ve lost the AT as the final Strictly summit. Somehow, pushing it down amongst the other dances has lessened its status.
First up on the night was James Jordan and Pamela, dancing a jive whilst bedecked head to foot in devilish red. James even sported pointed cranial protuberances (cue obligatory horny joke) and fangs, a look that he seemed quite at ease with. I couldn’t fault Pam’s enthusiasm because she genuinely seemed to love the jive but it didn’t look especially good from my side of the telly. There were mistakes in it, to be honest, and at times it was scrappy. It was a little flat-footed and the flicks weren’t perhaps as sharp as they could be, but the one thing I did like was that the theme wasn’t allowed to interfere too much with the flavour of the jive, for which I think James has to be commended. However, it was probably Pamela’s least best (I don’t really want to use the word ‘worst’ for someone who obviously puts in a heck of a lot of effort each week) dance of all those she has done so far, and the judges more or less had it about right. I’d have given it a 7.
Next, Tina and Jared. Tina was, I am informed, wearing ‘pleather’, which sounds like a rather kinky mixture of ‘pleasure’ and ‘lather’. In fact it’s a plastic based faux leather, that instantly brought to mind Sandy in the last ten minutes of ‘Grease’, but only slightly more vamp. Big, eighties hair as well. And I mean BIG. The amount of hairspray used must surely have depleted the ozone layer by a further twenty percent at least. And as for the back-combing, it was as if Chewbacca had been given a makeover...
I think this was one of the instances I was dreading where the Halloween theme completely wrecked the dance. The music may have been powerful and dramatic but it didn’t convey the brooding danger or the emotion of the Argentine Tango. More than any dance the AT is visceral; part visual and part sensual. You can stick in as many kicks and flicks as you want, as many powerful hooks and dramatic lifts as required, but if it attempts to be too technical then it’s as boring as hell. Too theatrical and it’s a poor imitation of two people trying to do something with a few AT moves thrown in. Alas, Tina and Jared’s dance fell very much into the latter category. It all seemed a bit lacklustre, dull and feeble in places. In one respect it was good, in that it probably was their best dance to date, but a watery AT (albeit one with a few nice lifts) isn’t going to get anyone’s juices going. Another 7 from me, possibly a 6 because even Pamela’s unpolished effort had more believability.
Oh, and during the judge’s critique Bruno nearly smacked Alesha in the mouth (accidentally, I think). Not that I detest Alesha, but in terms of unintentional hilarity it was probably the highlight of the evening!
Now, I like a bit of ‘Phantom of the Opera’. It reminds me of my days at High School, trying to belt it out in the music room at break time with a little help from some similarly obsessive friends. Perhaps I am therefore predisposed to like something that looks as if it has a little Phantom magic sprinkled over it, but in truth I really thought Kara and Artem’s Paso was well danced, finely choreographed – and actually worked well in the context of the whole ‘themed’ evening. It wasn’t the best dance of the night (more on that later) but it was probably my favourite looking at it from an overall perspective. And finally – at last – Kara managed to instil some much needed fire and intensity into her performance. All the midweek histrionics must have worked a treat. Sure, Kara will probably have buried her stiletto in Artem’s head by the end of the series, but it’s a small price to pay if we’re going to get performances like this for the next however many weeks. A very worthy 9 from me, because there were one or two mistakes in it and however small they were still noticeable.
Noticeable to all except Alesha, who gave it a 10. I could have had money on Alesha giving the first perfect score of the series.
Now, Patsy and Robin. For some reason Robin has dressed as a brussel sprout. Oh, of course: we’re doing theme stuff again. The outfit doesn’t quite work though, and the reason for that is that he hasn’t gone quite far enough with it. Look at James ‘second coming of Satan’ Jordan! Look at Brendan (more on that later)! Why didn’t Robin paint himself entirely green instead of wearing a shirt that looked as if it was a Captain Kirk hand-me-down fashioned from boiled cabbage?
Costume aside, a good, solid effort from Patsy. I thought it was fractionally better than Pamela’s, which surprised me a little as the training footage in the week definitely didn’t favour Patsy at all. Looks like Robin’s boot-camp style fitness regime is paying off a little, although frankly (speaking as a member of the ‘I’m hibernating, speak to me in April’ brigade) I’d have playfully kicked him in the nuts if he made me go jogging all the time.
Now, Patsy is someone I like very much although I think she has a snowflake’s chance in Hades of winning. But for some reason her legs always seem to look as if they are weighted down with lead in every dance, and I’m not entirely sure why. Every week I feel like I’m writing the same critique: some small timing issues, enthusiasm but no dramatic improvement, general lack of energy. Actually, that reads like my school report from the age of 6 to 12. Yet somehow she remains utterly likeable. There was a fair bit of time wasting at the star of the routine but I will forgive this in those doing the jive, because it’s such a high-energy dance that even the fittest will probably feel like collapsing at the end of it. I thought it was another 7, although I’d have given 7.5 on the pumpkinometer if such a thing existed.
Next, Felicity and Vincent. Gold stars are deserved for using the Waltz from Shostakovich’s Jazz Suite, which ironically felt out of place because of all the rubbish...er, sorry, pop music that the others were using. There was a high proportion of faffing about at the start, but it was stately, elegant faffing and I guess it formed part of the overall story so I will just about let Vincent get away with it. That said, Felicity’s footwork was a bit hit and miss this time and she seemed to skip about a little, which meant that it wasn’t as graceful as I’d have expected. It just didn’t flow in the way you would hope a Viennese Waltz to. I’m not really sure Felicity is going to last very long in this show. A 6 from me, because I was a little disappointed.
Jimi and Flavia...oh, crumbs! Those eyes! I must be a perverse individual. I’ve never really found Jimi especially hot before but I rather thought the upwardly swept wolfman hair and freaky contact lenses actually made him look rather dishy! Not sure what that says about me, really...
Moving swiftly on. I find Jimi a very puzzling performer. There’s so much he gets right and so much he gets wrong, all in the space of one dance! I think the performance aspect comes naturally and he works it as hard as he can, sometimes too hard, and as a result it gets a little ragged in other areas. Tonight was the same: I rather enjoyed his Paso tribute to Michael Jackson and I thought it worked reasonably well within the horror theme of the evening, and yet there’s a tiny part of me that felt if he hadn’t had the whole ‘Thriller’ crutch to perform to and had been asked to do a traditional Paso he may have done less well. I’d like to comment on his footwork but at times it was so covered in dry ice smoke that you couldn’t see a damn thing! Maybe that was the plan? It seemed a tad clumpy and heavy, but as he was supposed to be dancing like a thing escaped from a crypt I suppose you might say he fulfilled his task!
Flavia’s dress was really lovely, by the way. And Jimi was one of the few people I have ever seen on 8 series of the show to make the see-thru matador top attractive! But I’m afraid it’s another 7 from me, and most of that was for the cat eyes...
Those who know about the Rocky Horror Picture Show, have gone to see a production of it (and spent ages picking rice out of their hair/cleavage/insert relevant body parts here) dressed as French maids or watched the film with Tim Curry in it will actually realise why Brendan looks like Lurch’s prettier younger brother. Those who haven’t are probably wondering why Brendan has aged 50 years and resembled Mr Pinch from Martin Chuzzlewit! Perhaps a swift refresher course on ‘Rocky Horror’ via the wonders of You Tube will calm everyone who feared that Brendan’s unfortunate trip to New Zealand resulted in an excessive amount of exposure to radioactive material.
I saw both sides of the judging argument to be honest. This must be a difficult series for Len to sit through. He’s there to pronounce on technique, when by and large technique is being sacrificed for performance. He’s there to make sure rules are followed...yet the rules have been thrown out the window! There are lifts galore these days, and so much of the structure of the actual dance is lost to time wasting, with alien steps added to pad out a routine. Looking at it purely from Len’s side of the desk I can understand that Brendan and Michelle’s Rocky pastiche was just a jump to the left and a step to the right too far (pardon the pun).
From Craig and Bruno’s point of view as choreographers, and Alesha’s as a...er...a...actually I’m not sure what Alesha’s role is, so I think we’ll be kind and call her a neutral observer, the performance was wild, frantic, goofy, fun, energetic and completely bonkers! And despite being neither Brendan’s biggest fan or especially enjoying any of Michelle’s dances so far, I can honestly say I really liked this. It was as mad as a couple of ferrets stuffed down plus four trousers! But of course, poor old Len had a conniption fit and complained that the last half of the dance didn’t actually have any proper jive steps in it (which was true), leading to the traditional spat where Brendan nearly combusted with apoplexy.
This was a tricky one to score. It was in some respects better than the other jives and yet, probably due to the amount of time lost through Michelle’s ankle injury, it was limited slightly in a chorographical sense and there were a lot of errors all the way through. Entertainment-wise it was great and I want to give it 8, but in the end I gave it a 7, despite the masterly manic performance from Michelle! Altogether now... “It’s just a jump to the left!”
Oh god...here come the pecs. Having no doubt spent most of the week (when not signing for Saracens or learning how to pull faces for the acting coach) rubbing beeswax into his chest, Gavin has decided to guarantee his continued participation in the contest for a further week by performing a semi-nude Paso. And yes, I can admire a sculpted torso as much as the next person. But the little cynical devil whispering in my ear is telling me that cuprinol-boy has decided to flash the flesh to distract attention from his footwork. Is that wrong of me to be so suspicious? Maybe Anne Widdecombe is going to do the same next week?
I can only assume that the standing ovation was for the six-pack rather than Gavin himself. It was all a bit meh for me, apart from the surprise ‘Buck’s Fizz’ style dress removal moment that reduced Katya to her swimwear. Gavin did hit the odd nice shape, and it was more powerful than Jimi’s Paso but to be honest whilst it wasn’t grim, it wasn’t great either. I still didn’t see much in the way of emoting from him and he seems to have been carved from the bit of wood that Gepetto threw away. Next week, folks, be prepared to see Gavin doing the Viennese Waltz wearing only a pair of boxers with a ‘kiss me quick’ sign painted on his body, because it seems that this year pretty much anything goes. An improvement on last week was the general assessment, and if one can improve on posturing, walking about and posing then Gavin certainly managed it...
A 6 from me, but possibly bordering on a 7.
Ah, now we come to the dance of the evening. And, surprise surprise, it was from Scottttttttt and Natalie. Oddly enough I’m starting to warm slightly to Natalie. I think it helps if you’re paired with someone who is half decent at dancing but appears to be an engaging person on at least one level. Last year I just couldn’t quite get the appeal of Ricky Whittle (who I found a tad vacant) and Natalie, but I rather like her with Scott and am beginning to see how clever at times her choreography can be.
Kudos for actually making a Viennese waltz that had a Halloween theme, yet didn’t egg it excessively, and could have been a straightforward and beautiful routine in any normal situation with the odd tweak at the start to cut out the cauldron malarkey. I’m not going to go on at length about this routine because with only three steps it’s rather difficult to make an interesting review, except to say that Scott has probably got the best posture when dancing ballroom that I have seen for many a year in a male celeb. As for the scores, I guess Alesha had no choice to give another 10 considering she’d already given one to a dance that was probably – just – a smidgeon less worthy than Scott and Natalie’s, and accordingly Len and Bruno didn’t have much room for manoeuvre either, with all three of them bestowing maximum scores. Only Craig showed some much needed sanity with his 9. It’s far too early to be using 10s...I may be an old stick-in-the-mud, but I can remember back to the days when you had to sleep with one of the judges in order to get a 10.
I don’t suppose either Anne or Anton have made any such propositions to the judges (if they have I don’t want to know about it). Cyclone Widdicombe didn’t fly in on a broomstick this week (missed a trick there, folks), but managed to produce a comedy Paso doble that would have given John Sergeant a run (or march) for his money. There was a lot of stomping, clumping and out-loud counting, with Anton swinging Ann around until she resembled one of the killer Christmas trees from Doctor Who’s ‘The Christmas Invasion’. Ann’s costume reminded me of one of those rather gaudy festive bell-shaped decorations that you fold out and stick to the roof with a drawing pin! I rather think Craig’s “OMG” just about summed it all up (although I had to explain what that meant to my mother), but I will say that Ann didn’t half give the floor a nice sweep at the end. 3 out of 10 would be a kindness.
Next week, it will be Anton in the harness. Connected to a very large truss for the hernia he undoubtedly just picked up...
And now Matt Baker and Aliona. No comments this week from maitre regarding Aliona’s hair...she’s maybe becoming desensitised! This is the second Argentine Tango of the day, and in terms of story it was only marginally more successful. I’m sorry, but the gothic AT experiment has not worked at all. It’s taken a great big stake and malletted it through the heart. For all that, you can’t criticise Matt’s dancing (or his guyliner) but it was again a somewhat imbalanced mixture of style and flash over substance. His posture was at times a little dubious but he is a natural mover; it just wasn’t his dance. Ramps can relax for the time being: I don’t see anyone challenging his ‘best male celeb at the AT’ crown any time soon (I’m not counting Ricky Whittle because I didn’t think his was as good, frankly).
Over all, it was a bit of a daft evening. But then I think it was meant to be. Pamela ended up surprisingly near the bottom after so many weeks near the top. Patsy and Robin finished in fourth place on the leader board! And down towards the bottom Felicity, Gavin and Anne find themselves in real trouble. This is a bit of an interesting one to call, because it will be a test of the pulling power of Gavin’s body, Vincent’s many female fans and members of the Conservative party’s ability to pick up a phone and hit redial. Felicity probably only has a few weeks dancing left in her, so I would think she will be in the bottom two, but who else might join her? Michelle and Brendan? Jimi and Flavia? It’s a thriller night after all!
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