Kash’in In

Day one Surrey v Middlesex at the Oval

Oh, you’ve got to allow me that title. I’ve been waiting since April to use it!

I do love Surrey v Middlesex games. I love them because, whilst I feel no animosity towards Middlesex at all, I just love a good old-fashioned Derby. A set-to, a ding-dong, a barney...call it what you will, only more civilised. And with balls. There’s something special about these Middlesex v Surrey games, and I have spent the last three or so years trying to work out what it is.

Is it the atmosphere of those two monumental bastions, the Oval and Lords? Is it the centuries of history, built up layer upon layer, year upon year? Is it the romance of a contest between two once mighty teams struggling to recapture their best?

Well, actually no it isn’t. The answer is far simpler. It’s because usually Ramps tends to give his former club a real doing over!

It has to be said that the exceptional Mr R hasn’t quite found his dancing feet early this season, for many reasons, although there have been a couple of fairly effortless performances amidst a series of, shall we say, bijou scores, but you always feel with Ramps that a shed load of runs are usually lurking round the corner. And lo and behold, the Middlesex posse moseyed into Kennington and worked their usual magic. Fingers crossed this will kick-start his season and propel him towards a nice purple patch of form. At the close of play, he sits 125 not out after a hard fought century from 261 balls.

Having momentarily dispensed with the waving of flags and hanging of Rampant bunting (or in Jean’s case pushing pineapples and shaking trees), now is possibly a time to reflect on the game overall. Harinath and Evans, subjected to some pretty decent bowling (you see, I’m quite unbiased when I put my mind to it!) began to tick slowly along, although you felt Evans was just getting into his stride when he was bowled by former Surrey player Murtagh. In came former Middlesex player Ramprakash, who played very watchfully throughout the first session, whilst former Surrey players Scot ‘Pandora’ Newman and Pedro ‘Mr Whippy’ Collins looked on, probably knowing only too well that Ramps likes scoring hundreds against the St John’s Wood contingent.

In the meantime Udal, not formerly of Surrey, managed to remove young Harinath for 39. It turned out to be a rather productive day for Udal, if an unintentionally dramatic one, as it appears that the poor fellow managed to half-concuss himself trying to dive for a ball. Fingers crossed he’s okay: I may want Surrey to thrash Middlesex but I don’t want the opposition maimed in the process. In the absence of Steven Davies, away on England Lions duty, captain RHB came in at four, scoring rapidly just as the Surrey effort looked to be crawling almost to a stop, and smacked a relatively quick fire 55 from 60 balls, exactly what the innings needed. However, Udal struck again, bringing in Afzaal.

Now, the Rampants love Afzaal. We may have mentioned this earlier in the blog. And he got a nice little partnership going with his buddy Ramps at the crease, sticking with him all the way as Mr R stuttered through the extremely nervous nineties towards a century that he must have wanted very much indeed. Middlesex were doing their darndest to restrict Surrey by making sure that singles were hard to come by, hoping to induce the fault. And after that landmark was reached – the 110th first class century of his career and 5th against Middlesex – Afzaal and Ramps began to play some lovely shots and relax. Unfortunately for Afzaal he relaxed too much and was dismissed by Udal with the very last ball of the day.

We still love Usman, though. Even if the initial thought of the O’Rampant contingent was “Afzaal, you PLANK!”

Honours pretty much even at close of play then. Surrey end the day with MR Ramprakash not out, and with the new batsman yet to face a ball. If Middlesex get Ramps quickly tomorrow they will be feeling it is very much their game to lose, but if they can’t...well, let’s just say Gus Fraser must be sick of the sight of Ramps. It occurred to me to wonder what Ramps averages against Middlesex at the moment (it must surely be over 100), and a witty reply from friend-of-the-Rampants Harold informed me that the qualitative answer was, "He averages full throttle".

So, another century to be added to the wall of the hundred hundreds bar. The Surrey fans will be delighted that the great man saw fit to once more take his ire out on his former club. I imagine that the sane majority of Middlesex supporters will shrug their shoulders and think “oh well, here we go again,” and marvel at a skilled and naturally gifted batsman going about his work.

To the tiny minority of rather angry people out there who seem to have a little bit of trouble letting the past go, I suggest a lie-down in a dark room and some essential oils might help a little...