Shop for Victory!

This is my favourite pic of the epic Surrey v Kent game. In it you will see that RHB has sent the lemon tree to field in the gully...





Anyhow, I’m so behind now it’s unbelievable! That’s what a holiday in London will do for you.

In the last few weeks we have been knocked out the T20s (the phrase see ‘last post’ has a peculiarly apt double meaning), won a nail-biter in the county championship against Kent, and been roundly thrashed by Middlesex (again). I don’t like the fact we were thumped by the old enemy, although at least a mighty knock by de Bruyn and Maynard, surely the most shrewd acquisitions for Surrey in many a year, at least put us back in the contest, if briefly. Whilst not the flat out demolition by our North London rivals that we suffered at the Oval earlier this year, it must have jolly well stung like a bad case of piles!

Middlesex and haemorrhoids: there’s a combination. But, for the moment, back a few weeks to slightly happier times and the victory over Kent.

A quick recap then of the game.

Surrey won the toss, batted first, and made 387. Yet again de Bruyn showed his brilliance with a peerless 179.

Jason Roy had gone for 4 before we got in to the Oval...in fact we heard Ramps’ name being announced over the speakers just as we were heading towards our customary place in the Wedlake Bell family enclosure! Ramps went for 12, although I can’t say he looked in bad nick. Far from it, in fact: I was rather surprised when he did go because there were some beautiful shots in his rather brief stay. He provided Kent’s Balcombe with his first wicket for Kent: I suppose it’s a good one to get!

Still, the Rampants were royally entertained, especially Liz who is Gareth Batty’s biggest fan (her man scored an important late innings 65). RHB managed 34, but the others didn’t quite do so well with Davies making 17 and Maynard 19. The other scores were even less substantial, which just goes to show how important de Bruyn’s contribution was in the context of the game.

The Surrey bowling was very impressive, with Kent out for 250. Blake impressed with 95 and would surely have gone on to inflict more damage on Surrey but for being run out by Jason Roy, and together with Jones had formed a partnership more irritating than sand down the crack of a bikini-clad bottom! Meaker and Linley shared top honours with three wickets apiece, with Batty taking two and Tremlett one. However, my favourite player for Kent was undoubtedly Riaz. Something about the Oval wicket must have had him channelling Usman Afzaal, for on several occasions he felt the need to express his inner aeroplane when running in to bowl! It didn’t do him any good when it was his turn to bat, however, as he was caught for 4 by Ramps.

Serves him right for trying to use Mr R as a runway during the Surrey first innings.

Things got a bit dodgy for Surrey when they were all out for 184 in their second innings. Every time the clouds came out a wicket seemed to fall, in what seemed a very confused batting effort. Ramps tried to bed in with his customary grit but still managed only 20 (Annabel and I had actually left before this). Balcombe was again brilliant, taking five Surrey wickets, although it was Joe Denly who took the wicket of top scoring Davies for 39. Whilst the second innings hadn’t gone swimmingly for Surrey, it did go swimmingly for me as well, as I’d had a few bottles of wine from the bar, but that’s another story!

In reply Kent’s revival was very much down to their colossus Rob Key. Picture, if you will, a scene on day four where Rob Key dons the role of Gandalf to the younger members of his team. No, I don’t mean he sported a long beard and a pointy hat. Nor am I suggesting the Kent line-up is full of tiny Hobbity people. I know Kent is supposed to be the ‘garden of England’ but there was nothing about Middle Earth as far as I’m aware. What I’m referring to is Rob Key’s mighty “thou shalt not pass” moment. Give a man like Key a stage to perform on and boy, does he go for it!

The team kept chip-chip-chipping away at Kent. Great news for me as I got lots of good photos! I’m going to sound patronising for a moment, so forgive me, because ‘little’ Ansari makes me want to affix ‘bless him’ to his name due to his youth, and there he was in his first championship game looking all shiny and new, as if he’d come straight from primary school with his little rucksack and PE kit! Okay, slight exaggeration for dramatic purposes. But hang in there, because I’m trying to set the scene for later on...

Now, Gandalf...sorry, Key was still holding up his end for Kent. Sorry if that’s a bit rude-sounding, but there you have it. Batsmen came and went with frightening regularity around him, but you always felt that whilst he was still there Kent could possibly sneak it. And as day four beckoned (Annabel and I had decided not to go to the Oval given that it could be a short stay whatever the result) there remained a paltry number of wickets for Surrey to claim and an equally small number of runs for Kent to chase. It was very much game on!

So, there we were on day four, in a branch of ‘Next’ on a well known street in London. Annabel was trying on tops in her cubical, whilst I was womanfully struggling into a tunic-dress and attempting to listen to the remainder of the game on my smart phone. Not an easy thing to do, as it transpires, as you keep getting the ear phones all tangled up in your bra. Ten out of ten for contortionism, however! It’s okay when you’re trying on one item but when you’ve got six to clamber in and out of...well, I had to take the earphones out.

And that was when Ansari – bless him – struck!

It had all looked as if Kent were going to flop over the finishing line with Key eating up the runs like they were Scotch pies, and then Ansari stepped up and bowled him! Hats off to Key and his magnificent 162. He and de Bruyn had shown between them exactly how experience counts in moments of crisis. Key had played a titanic innings, but alas like the good ship he foundered right when it mattered. I managed to locate Annabel as she headed off to pay for her clothes and I was standing at the very opposite end of the queue when Shaw was caught by Roy without scoring. I have to say I think the man who was serving behind the till must have thought me quite mad by frantic gesticulating and air punching. He wouldn’t be the first to think it!

And so ended a marvellously entertaining game to watch and a fabulous victory for Surrey! They came away with the win, the points and I came away with a dress which I shall always think of as my ‘Surrey dress of certain victory’.

Only problem is I shall have to wear it all the time now.

You've got to be Gidding...

Ah. Well...not too sure I’ll be writing any celebratory poems about the fabulous Surrey victory over Gloucestershire at the Oval.

Mostly because we lost.

It was a thrilling game from a listening point of view, mostly because it was fairly twisty turny in nature. These always make for the most interesting matches, but whilst the ability to capitalise on these unpredictable games and win through in the end is vital – as was the case in the Derbyshire game – until Surrey learn to steamroller opposition into submission from the start and boss the game, like the best sides, they’re not going to be consistent enough to be promoted. We may win the odd game here and there and ride our luck, but it’s not the stuff that champions are made of.

I was only disappointed in terms of the fact Gloucestershire have gone above Surrey in the championship. As I said, it was a fabulous game – and but for captain Gidman’s fine innings it may very well have gone the other way. In fact, until the last three quarters of an hour Surrey may well have been favourites to roll Gloucestershire over. But at the end of the day neither side made an especially large total of runs, save from the match winning contribution of the aforementioned Gidman, de Bruyn (66) in the first innings and Ramps in the second (75).

I felt a wee bit sorry for Matthew Dunn. Having been drafted in to the side on the back of his fantastic effort in the last championship game, the young man was hardly tossed the ball. I hope this doesn’t knock his confidence, but provided Surrey persevere and nurture his talent I don’t see why he shouldn’t continue in the same line as his wonderful debut.

Surrey’s fielding was a tad erratic; I think it would be fair to say. Having singled this aspect out as the one area in which the most improvement had been made in recent years there was some sloppy work on display from the home side, along with some tough chances put down and the odd dolly dropped. Whilst I wouldn’t go as far as to say it cost us the game, when you consider how tight it was at the hinder end you can’t help but wonder what might have happened if the skipper had managed to hang on to that Gidman catch on the third (and last) day. Poor Maynard also had a torrid time in the field and with the bat. He put down two catches and made a total of 3 runs over both innings.

Runs were definitely hard to come by, especially on that second day when the cloud cover came down. I had the fantastic experience of listening to de Bruyn and Ramps toughing it out via my new phone. I can see it’s going to be an expensive but worthwhile little gadget to have, especially at work! I’m hoping that second innings will play the man himself into some form. It’s not that he’s been in bad nick, but the new seamer-friendly Oval wickets are not really doing the batsmen any favours. Ironic, considering the amount of time I’ve wished that we could have some wickets which would improve the chance of a result being obtained. Now I kind of wish we could go back to how it was!

To indicate how difficult batting was (I’m using only the Surrey batsmen here) I’m posting the scores obtained in two innings:

Roy: 40 + 2 = 42

Hamilton-Brown: 1 + 26 = 27

Ramprakash: 30 + 75 = 105

De Bruyn: 66 + 13 = 79

Davies: 1 + 14 = 15

Maynard: 3 + 0 = 3

Batty: 2 + 23 = 25

Arafat: 44 + 8 = 52

Dernbach: 19 + 7 = 26

Linley: 12 + 1 = 13

Dunn: 0 + 0 (not out both times)

The standout performances were de Bruyn and Ramps, and from the highlights I have to say I think the latter seems to be running a bit better between the wickets. Hopefully as the season goes on the better his knee will feel (mind you, if he did want to aim for a miraculous recovery then the Kent game next month would be quite good, as there will be a small Rampant presence at the Oval that match)! I also have to give credit to Arafat who looked confident and more than useful with both bat and ball this game. Fingers crossed he can continue in this fashion as he’s come in for a little disparagement in certain quarters for a less than overwhelming start to his career as a Surrey player. Personally, I always say if I can’t do better myself it’s probably inadvisable to throw criticisms around.

Doesn’t stop me catching myself doing it from time to time though. Hey-ho: nobody’s perfect!

Whilst nobody covered themselves in glory it is difficult to pinpoint which of the many factors contributed most of all to the defeat. If one or two more batsmen had taken their time rather than throw their wickets away, perhaps a greater total might have been reached. If those catches had been held maybe inroads could have been made upon the Gloucestershire batsmen. If the sun had – literally – shone on the Surrey batsmen for longer instead of hiding behind perpetual grey cloud whenever one of their number wandered down the steps, batting may have been a less thankless task. So many variables...

But, such is the fickle nature of cricket. A sneaky win would have had all the moaners and groaners rubbing their hands with glee. Dropped catches would be put to one side. There would be no complaining about the wicket, or batsmen getting out to silly shots. The only note of castigation would be regarding the price of the Oval beer! People are only happy if they are winning. Very few will be level-headed enough to give Gidman the praise he deserves or refrain from denouncing Chris Adams as the second coming of Satan.

The question, of course, is not whether the fans can quickly get over the second loss in the season...but can the team?

And in the meantime, if people need a reason to be cheerful, may I direct them to the lovely photo at the top of the page?

Baby, it's cold outside!

Scotland v Surrey: CB40 at the Grange

And, as expected, Surrey made it four out of four in their CB40 campaign. A trip to the Grange – a very cold trip, I might add – resulted in the anticipated victory over the Scottish Saltires on Sunday. This was a game I was lucky enough to attend in part.

I say in part because I took the decision to leg it homeward with 8 overs remaining. In better weather I might have stayed to the end, and whilst I was aware that neither team nor indeed poor Churchy were in a position to likewise escape from the cold, I decided that when I could no longer feel my nose the time was probably right to call it a day. Blue nose, black hair and red hat: they were about the only colourful things on an otherwise bleak, grey Edinburgh day.

Now, I love Edinburgh. When the sun is shining, or when it’s snowing, there is nowhere more beautiful or picturesque. However, on a horrible overcast day (something we do get more than our fair share of) it frankly makes you want to curl up under a duvet and hide. I certainly wish I’d brought a duvet with me! I got there in plenty of time, chose a likely spot near the boundary boards, then settled in for the start of the game. I have to say that Chris Adams gets bonus points for donning shorts in what was definitely not a day for the faint hearted. I did consider getting a pic or two, but then thought it possibly wasn’t terribly sporting or indeed ladylike to be taking sneaky pics of the Surrey manager’s legs. Not that I do that kind of thing usually, you understand.

Honest.

Anyhow, neither Ramps nor KP were playing. The former didn’t surprise me but I have to say the latter did somewhat...I’m not sure why but I had kind of expected him to be there. It didn’t bother me especially: it was specifically de Bruyn and Spriegel I had come to see in the absence of the maestro. I was richly rewarded with the opportunity to take lots of photos...worryingly it appears I took 414 with my recently revived camera (the one that KP didn’t kill last year). I wasn’t aware I’d taken even half that amount! Spriegel of course takes top honours with his gallant 80+, and subsequently his long stay at the crease meant that most of my 414 photos appear to be of him. I would like to take this opportunity to assure Matthew that I am not a crazed stalker: I’m merely an amateur photographer who sometimes forgets to put the lens cap back on!

I was pretty sure at one point I spotted Churchy on the roof. He must have been mighty nithered by the cold, even if he had the best view in the city! I can’t remember much about the game itself. This doesn’t mean it was boring: it means that the cold had permeated my brain to the extent that I was debating leaving the Grange 5 overs into the Scotland innings. I was receiving texts from my trusty band of fellow Rampants: something along the lines of:

ME: I spy RHB!

ANSWER: Is he looking good?

ME: I dunno...he didn’t stick around long enough for me to find out!

And so on and so forth.

The other nagging worry which stopped me from relaxing and enjoying myself as much as I would have liked was the fact my PC monitor had chosen that morning to blow up. Being disconnected from the internet these days is a bit like going cold turkey. It did not make for a relaxed Miah! No Facebook! No Twitter! I’d have to go back to drawing, embroidering, reading books and being intellectual like wot I used to be before I got a computer! The horror! Well, it made my mind up: I am definitely getting a smart phone so I can listen to the cricket at work.

Much as I enjoyed freezing my bahookie off whilst watching Surrey thrashing my home team, a feat which is a bit like watching Godzilla take on Mole from ‘Wind in the Willows’, the day was somewhat spoiled by the fact I was surrounded by people who didn’t seem to have a clue what was going on (or at least liked to give the impression they did). First of all, a man who decided to come in and sleep with his paper on his knee. How can you sleep with gale-force winds blowing all the empty seats around you? And when he went it was to be replaced by a young lady and gentleman, the former who had decided that Ramps no longer played at all for Surrey because “he was too old”.

I bit my tongue.

The worst was the gentleman who scarce stopped talking to his friend for four hours, and who was complaining bitterly about the amount of South African born people in the Surrey squad. He was most disappointed to look at his program and find out that Spriegel was born in England! He also had the temerity to chastise the female announcer who had about three different attempts at saying de Bruyn’s name without being able to decide which the correct pronunciation was. Of course, Mr Know-it-all decided that his version was correct. At which point I was rather rude and cut in to the conversation and told him exactly how to pronounce it! I’m not usually that ill mannered, but I was rather fed up at this point and I figured that as he was sharing his conversation with everyone in a twenty foot radius that it wouldn’t matter if I did likewise!

By the end of the day I learned that his brother-in-law’s wife makes excellent crisps, he doesn’t like cats or small dogs and he doesn’t play as much tennis as he used to. Frankly, I’m surprised his wife didn’t take one of his tennis rackets and smash it over his head! He left to get something to eat at lunchtime whilst Spriegs was still making steady and relentless progress, convinced that Surrey wouldn’t get much over 200.

Is there ever an appropriate moment to blow raspberries from the comfort of your own blog?

Wanted for assault: have you seen this bird?

We like Leicestershire.

Surrey enjoy beating Leicestershire. They beat them in the four day game that turned out to be a three day game, and now they’ve beaten them in the CB40! With all due respect to Leicestershire they probably aren’t one of the stronger sides in division two, but a win is a win where Surrey is concerned. And now that’s four wins on the bounce since the right royal doing over that Middlesex gave them not so very long ago.

I’ve been impressed with the character and the resilience that Surrey have began to show. Not so many years ago when looking as if they were facing an impossible task the old Surrey would have tamely folded and bared their necks to whatever attack was raining down upon them. Even if the quality of the performance on Sunday was only a smidge better than workmanlike, it was gutsy and displayed a self-belief that was often absent at certain points last year.

This was best displayed in the first quarter of the game when Surrey managed to lose their first three wickets rather cheaply. Instead of flapping about like a seagull suffering Montezuma’s Revenge they elected to build the total up gradually, taking singles and consolidating their score rather than swinging the bat willy nilly. The score that they ended up with (206-8) was hardly earth shattering and slightly vulnerable to an assault from the likes of Taylor and Du Toit, but considering the dodgy start it was a more than decent effort. The skipper top-scored for the Lions with 57, whilst Maynard (55), Spriegel (28) and Schofield (26) all pitched in with handy little contributions. I couldn’t help but wonder what the watching crowd were making of it, and if perhaps they were wondering if Surrey could defend their total. If the past was anything to go by it was going to be touch and go!

Sure enough, Leicestershire stormed well into the lead and never looked like crumpling until the spin of Gareth Batty was brought into play. From that moment on the game began to hot up, with Cobb dismissed for 45 and, crucially, Taylor falling victim to some nicely measured bowling from de Bruyn for just 3! Five overs or so of Taylor would have made the difference in the game, and once again the skipper demonstrated a certain tactical cleverness in terms of when he made his bowling changes. Jones and Boyce fell for 3 and a duck respectively, and suddenly things swung back Surrey’s way.

But matters began to get a little hairy thanks to Leicestershire’s rooky wicket keeper Dixey, a man whose name keeps causing my cat all manner of confusion (his name’s Dexy). Every time my poor puddy tat is in the room and Churchy mention’s Dixey’s name, the wee hairy fella keeps staring around him in bafflement! Anyhow, keeper Dixey played an absolute blinder to score 42. Whilst he was in you felt there was a chance that Leicestershire might sneak it back! And then there was that horrible, agonising late partnership between Hoggard of all people who had somehow reinvented himself as a batsman and decided to rain fours and sixes down upon Surrey from the position of a defiantly wagging tail! I mean, honestly! Who told Hoggy he could bat?!? He’s rarely shown signs of it before in such an exuberant manner!

If there was one star in the game I would have to pick Meaker. He’s getting a really useful reputation for knocking over the tail end batsmen, which is an invaluable commodity – especially as dismissing the tail has very often been Surrey’s major weakness. When he cleared up Dixey and Leicestershire were all out for 189 I slumped exhausted back in my seat! What a hard-fought victory it had been for Surrey, and in the end well deserved.

I’m not sure how much longer Surrey are going to have Mr Meaker at their disposal, and whilst it’s a stupendous honour for both players and club I think Surrey might once again find themselves with a weakened bowling attach, with Tremlett, Dernbach and Meaker all involved at various levels of the England setup.

So, three out of three wins for Surrey in the CB40, putting them firmly at the top of their group. Even if it starts to crumble a little from here it’s already a huge step up from last year. I know he’s not necessarily popular with everyone but I think Chris Adams has to take a huge amount of credit for starting to turn Surrey’s year around. The young players who are in the squad or on the fringes of it are those who have been identified as having the right attitude, and those older members the ones with the talent and the dedication to set a good example. It makes for a very good blend indeed.

A final note has to go to the recovery of the poor pigeon that was basically subjected to a vicious assault by a crow and a magpie in front of thousands of Oval witnesses. Hero of the hour keeper Dixey stepped in to pick up the mugged and concussed creature, handing it into the tender care of Bill Gordon who took the pigeon to his hut to recuperate from its ordeal. I have to say that although it made a full recovery I was concerned for its welfare for a while.

Bill still has his cat, doesn’t he? I know mine’s partial to pigeon...

On the up

Ugh! I have a cold: one that started during the final knockings of the Surrey Leicestershire game. I could feel its germy microbes spreading through my body just as Nathan Buck’s stump decided to go its separate way from the others. But even although I am typing this with a head that feels as if it’s filled entirely with custard my good mood cannot be assuaged: Surrey won their game yesterday in very good time, and with considerable style.

From bottom of division 2 to fourth spot in one fell swoop! I can only assume that winning the two CB40 games has managed to generate a little momentum within the squad, and having the likes of Tremlett and Ramps back must have boosted the team no end. Whatever the reason, Surrey batted supremely and then backed it up with some really fine bowling as well, as they did unto Leicestershire what Middlesex did unto them the week before.

There were standout performances but this truly was a team effort, and this was the most impressive thing about the Surrey display. How many times have they unfairly been called a one-man unit? True, that man in particular played his part but today there was a real sense of coming together, and as the run tally grew so did the confidence in the side. De Bruyn was every bit the solid number 4 batsman and again scored over 60 runs, whilst Ramps fell just 9 agonising runs short of his first century of the season. Credit to him though: to score 91 in just your second innings in the campaign, having not struck a ball in anger since November is very impressive indeed. For Ramps neither the passage of time or injury has diminished his ability to score runs for his side.

Steven Davies came in with licence to swing the bat, which is precisely what he did until getting out for 37, at which point the plug was pulled by Surrey. Then began the almost impossible run chase as Leicestershire faced the unenviable task of having to carve into a sizeable lead of 423 with five sessions remaining! For Surrey there remained the possibility of rain on the fourth day, and so they set about Leicestershire: a contest that on the face of it was every bit as unequal as a Rottweiler taking on a well-chewed slipper...

Only one man put up any real fight against a revitalised Surrey, and that man was of course the diminutive James Taylor. During the course of his plucky stay at the crease he was on the receiving end of many brutal deliveries, in fact I’m surprised he’s still in one piece (or possessing all his teeth)! The others, Boyce apart with his 41 runs, all capitulated to the constant Surrey barrage: Meaker cleaning up the tail enders with ruthless efficiency claiming 4 wickets in total, Arafat taking 1, and Dernbach showing exactly why the England selectors came calling at the beginning of the year with a stupendous fivefer! It was only right that the final wicket of Taylor fell to him, and the delight at Surrey’s first victory of the season could be seen amidst the joyous celebrations within the team.

It was another good moment for skipper Rory. He seems to be learning all the time, and if Surrey can claim another victory this weekend over Leicestershire in the CB40 then perhaps the collective fortunes of the team are indeed on the up.

Fingers crossed, eh?

Hurrah! All is well at stumps!

Leicestershire v Surrey at the Oval: Day Two


Okay, so here’s the situation after two days of playing Leicestershire at the Oval in the county championship:

We’re actually doing rather nicely! Never thought you’d hear that one, did you? Admit it! When was the last time that Surrey really looked like steamrollering the opposition on day two?!?

Hmm...how to sum up two days? Well, we lost the toss and were surprisingly (well, to me at least) stuck in. I snuck a quick look at the BBC score card just to see who was batting, then resolved not to look at the score until I got home. I walked in the door to see my dad with the Ceefax score on TV, at which point I shrieked at him not to tell me anything. There then resembled a scene straight out the Likely Lads where he endeavoured to spoil the whole thing any way he could, which ended only when I walked up the stairs with him shouting “158 all out!” A total lie, I knew, but bloody irritating nonetheless!

As it transpired Surrey fell short of a third bonus batting point by a nostril hair, something that will have irked them, as they were all out for 294. With the wicket displaying a distinctly green tinge to enable the Surrey pace attack to blitz the opposition into submission the batsmen seemed to find it difficult to get in, or indeed stay in, as they might on the old, dry wickets prepared by the lovely Bill Gordon. But as it later transpired it was to be a decision of pure brilliance.

The problem of the opening spot was solved by the captain gallantly going against all usual inclinations and dropping down the order, his new batting partner the talented Jason Roy. It’s great to see Jason, or Trigger as we call him, nail down a slot in the squad even if it isn’t where he would prefer. I’ve heard people say he would be better at three, and he probably would feel more at home there, but I’m afraid he’s going to have to bide his time as that particular berth is taken at the moment! He can wait his turn. The King is still in his parlour! As Chris Adams said, his time will come when the likes of Ramps and de Bruyn finally hang up the bat, but in the meantime he has the opportunity to play his own game at the top of the order, with license to tonk the ball as he sees fit!

Alas, it didn’t work very well on day one, as Roy made a somewhat inauspicious 5 before being given out lbw to one Matthew Hoggard. Ramps seemed to play very well, which came as a great relief to all who must have been wondering how the injury might have affected his ability to run. It certainly didn’t alter his ability to hit the ball! He eventually got out to a really good piece of bowling by Nathan Buck, a talented individual who actually seems to be one of the few people who can get the maestro out repeatedly! Thirty seven may not have been up there with his best efforts, but from someone who may have been trying to get rid of the cobwebs accumulated from sitting on the sidelines it wasn’t too bad in the context of the game.

The skipper made a useful 41 (de Bruyn making one less) whilst Maynard stole the first innings with a frisky 70. Down the order Arafat contributed 44 at exactly the right time, and although the score looked considerably smaller than would have been expected the bowler friendly wicket soon turned to bite the Leicestershire batsmen in exactly the same way it had the home side.

The total achieved by Leicestershire on day two was a rather lowly 183, thanks largely to a magnificent display of fast bowling from Meaker who took four wickets, but the others all chipped in with two for Dernbach, two for Tremlett and one for Batty and Arafat. There are plenty of dangerous players in the opposing team but primarily I’m thinking of James Taylor, who appeared dwarfed next to the considerably statuesque figure of Jefferson (think Don Estelle next to Dave Prowse in his Vader heyday and you have the right idea). He is the one man in the side that needs to be nipped out quickly. Surrey will have to hope they can do so again when they next get the chance because if they don’t there’s a danger he might somehow contrive to make the game a safe draw for Leicestershire. Topple him and that becomes a less frightening reality.

Jason Roy stepped up to the plate, as he often has done when given the chance, with an eye-catching innings of 76 – equalling his highest ever first class score. I say eye-catching but it was more breathtaking, at least in terms of the short amount of time he accumulated his runs. The skipper fell for 14 this time, leaving Ramps to come in and hit his first 50 of the season. At the end of play he had managed a classy 53 not out, with de Bruyn playing counterpart with 14 not out. Fingers crossed both can really kick on tomorrow. Nobody would expect Ramps to get a century in his first game back from injury, but he does seem to have the habit of scoring big in his primary match of the season. Sooner or later he is going to break the 35,000 first class runs barrier and whilst he may not celebrate statistical milestones that is one that probably should be savoured. There are not too many people in the future are going to manage it.

So, Surrey will head off tonight much the happier of the two sides. The lead already is substantial, and at the time of writing this de Bruyn and Ramps are still there, waiting to twist the knife further. Tune into @surreycricket on the internet because an hour or so of those two at the crease and it won’t be pretty for Leicestershire...

Victories, balls and farewells

Balls.

That’s what Surrey showed today. Big, massive ones at that! In a metaphorical sense, you understand. Displaying the non-metaphorical ones in public can result in arrest. Just ask any streaker worth his salt.

I don’t know if there was something in the Rosebowl air today, or whether Surrey were high on the back of their heady win over Scotland yesterday. I don’t know if maybe Deirdre, fresh from having her ashes scattered at the Oval today decided to look down at the teams from on high and have a laugh. Whatever the truth, today’s humdinger of a match just about caused me a peptic ulcer! Something decidedly odd seemed afoot almost from the word go.

I mean, Hants are chock full of decent players. And one by one – and at regular intervals – they dropped like ninepins! I’m not one for casting aspersions on the boys abilities and certainly Surrey are a more than reasonable team, but if you’d asked me if they’d have Hants all out for 141 in 30 overs I’d have probably spat my cup of tea out at your face in disbelief! How long have the doom merchants, naysayers and long-suffering “I can remember when we were invincible” brigade been hankering after a display like that?

It did seem a little too good to be true, to be honest. I’m afraid, with all due respect to our wonderful bowlers, I had suspicions something was up with the pitch. And when Hants began their response in the same manner as Surrey had, with wickets tumbling all over the shop, I felt all the more certain that the Rosebowl was misbehaving unexpectedly. Not in a naughty “call the ECB inspectors” way, I hasten to add. It just didn’t seem to be going the way either team had anticipated. By all accounts it should have been a marvellous batting track, and yet the ball dominated the bat in an almost obscene manner.

Take the Hants innings for example. The top score made by a batsman on their team was a slightly incongruous 34 from Dawson. The next highest score was 21 from McKenzie! With other scores ranging from a first ball duck for Corky to a couple of 15s for Pothas and Howell, things were looking mighty ominous for the home side. 4 wickets fell to a rather imperious Dernbach, with two for Arafat, two for Linley and one apiece for Schofield and Spriegel. I’m pretty sure even the most faithful of Hants supporters would have considered going home at the half way break!

If they did then they would soon have been regretting missing out on one heck of an exciting game. The skipper followed up his single run in the last game with, you guessed it, a single run in this one. I said RHB would have his day – and he will – but it seemingly wasn’t meant to be today. And when Davies, with the score still on 1, followed his captain back up the steps Dominic Cork must have been scenting blood! Worse followed when the experienced de Bruyn was out for 5 with the score on a measly 24, and when Maynard was dismissed for 14 (and then Wilson next ball for a duck) it looked as if another calamitous collapse was on the cards!

Thank heavens then for Jason Roy! I have the feeling (and indeed hope fervently) I may be saying that a lot in future years. He, ably assisted by Spriegel, was the main difference between winning and losing today. Yes, it was a long and protracted journey towards that 142 total that put me slightly in mind of my new treadmill: a lot of huffing and puffing but getting nowhere fast. But riding his luck once again and staying in to make 76 before being bowled was the main factor that Surrey now finds themselves near the top – if not at the top – of their CB40 group. Schofield came in and smashed the last couple of runs required to take them over the line, and although Roy wasn’t there at the end I’m sure he will reflected well upon his performance.

Credit to Spriegel for sticking with him to the end and playing such a pivotal role. His 29 not out was the third highest score in the entire game! And much credit to RHB for his constant mixing up of the bowlers; chopping and changing so that the opposition couldn’t settle at all. He showed a great deal of nous, and certainly in the shorter game he seems very tactically aware. The changes in bowlers he made today, and the times he made those changes, seemed almost inspired.

And so, with a second win under their belts the Surrey Lions can look forward to their next championship game against Leicestershire on Wednesday. Surrey seems to have a reasonable record against them, I think. At least a certain M.R.Ramprakash does. Will he be in the squad? What position will he play if he is? I had heard some ugly rumours about him possibly opening...but that does seem like wasting your best asset. Would you drive your Rolls Royce in a cross-country rally? Openers are there to take the sting out the new ball. Exposing your best player to it straight away seems like sheer lunacy to me, although given the number of times in the past that Ramps has had to come in early with the first wicket down I suppose he may as well open...

Back to the Oval. I mentioned earlier that our very own Deirdre’s ashes scattering took place today. By all accounts it was a very moving experience, even if she did turn up late to her own ceremony! The Rampants who made it to the Oval extend their thanks to the groundsman who both met their party and allowed them on to the pitch. Final word, I think, should go to one of our founding members, Fiona, who expressed the following sentiments on the scattering of Dee’s ashes:

“Gosh it was so very moving - her little patch of grass on the Oval pitch where she will now always be... Oh, and Dee, don't think we don't realise that it was you who ordered that great big gust of wind that took you floating up all over the members area!! Good girl! And her being late was SO Elizabeth Taylor. It was a very lovely day.”

God speed, lovely Dee! xxx

Burning, drowning and daylight thievery!

Well, the game involving the Surrey 2nd team went rather nicely!

Jason Roy made a not out century for a start, and whilst I’m told he rode his luck on a few occasions he was still there at the end, so fair play to him! He’s shaping up to be the star that many people have said he’d be. And from a more Rampant perspective the even better news was that Ramps made 90! Barring any aggravated knee problems it looks as if the man himself may well be in contention for a possible start against Leics next week! If he does manage this, all I can say is ‘wow’! He must be a really quick healer given the severity of the initial injury back in November. I recollect an awful lot of people predicting he would immediately quit the game as a result. But I guess until you test yourself in a first class match, with all the pressure and exertion that goes with it, how can you make a judgement?

Today Surrey took on Scotland at the Oval in their first CB40 game of the season. I think most sane people would have predicted the Surrey win that ensued (quite comfortably in the end), but Scotland shouldn’t be completely written off. They have one or two players, especially bowlers, who can do the business when required and may well be capable of pulling off the odd shock here and there. Steven Davies yet again fell just short of a century, whilst Roy batted extremely well following on from his century yesterday for the Surrey 2nds. De Bruyn and Maynard delivered the coup de grace in super-quick time, with 7 wickets in hand. The only slight disappointment was the skipper, who holed out quite early on in proceedings; although I’m sure his day will come. As for Scotland; I think they will be a much tougher force on their home turf of the Grange in Edinburgh.

I have interesting memories of the Grange. It is, after all, my local ground: in fact it is 15 mins on the bus from my house. I pass it every day on the way to work, and it always makes me smile to remember the previous occasions I’ve been there. You see, something always happens when I do go to the Grange.

In what I believe was 2007 I went to my first game at the ground. I think it was a 40 over game against Lancashire which, given that Anderson and Flintoff were both playing, they won comfortably. It was about the only thing that was comfortable, however, as I ended up with sunstroke and – just to make my life even more interesting – a massive reaction to the sunlight which caused the skin of my right hand to swell up dramatically so that I resembled ‘The Thing’ from The Fantastic Four. I got sent home from work next day as I couldn’t type at all with it. Even the local pharmacist said she’d never seen a reaction like it before. It felt as though someone had actually microwaved my hand!

In (possibly) 2008 some of the Scottish Rampants attended the Scotland v England game at the Grange. The weather was utterly miserable! Admittedly there was little chance of sunstroke but we sat huddled together under umbrellas for a large portion of the game, until it got so bad they eventually called it off! We traipsed up town in search of a suitable pub to dry off in, so I guess it wasn’t all bad...

Then in 2009 I managed to snag a couple of freebie tickets to a Scotland v Warwickshire game, again I think it was a 40 over match. My sister accompanied me, initially quite keen (the word ‘free’ might have had something to do with it). Unfortunately she has the attention span of an earwig and soon got bored. Despite the fact that I was trying out my new camera’s super-zoom (the one that broke at the Oval last year) and was happily snapping away at Mr Clarke and Mr Troughton amongst others, she decided the beer-fuelled antics of the drunken Brummies behind us were too much and we left early. The moment we left, one of the aforementioned beered-up supporters ran on to the field and stole one of the bails...

So, you see, it’s all go at the Grange! I’m really looking forward to going this year, hopefully with one or two of the Rampants as well. Fingers crossed it won’t end in burning/drowning/daylight thievery!

Climb every mountain...

Surrey v Middlesex
In a nutshell:

We weren’t very good. They were.

Having had Middlesex by the short and curlies at the very start of the game - with the much longed for wickets (three of the darlings!) of Yasir Arafat making a timely and welcome appearance - Surrey allowed the north London side to wriggle off the hook until they amassed a preposterous 445! The bowling cost Surrey very dearly in the afternoon of day one.

There was a lot of wildlife on display at Lords. A few little ducks for starters. There were also some headless chickens running about as well by the sound of it! The only people with crowing rights were the Middlesex supporters!

The skipper did his level best to drag the score into more reasonable territory but in the face of hardly any backup from his team mates – with one exception – things went so pear-shaped you’d expect to see Masterchef’s Greg Wallace attacking it with a spoon...

Maynard stood alone on the burning deck whilst everyone else either abandoned ship or tried to bail the water out using a sieve. Poor Tom, stranded on 98 not out...it may do his average the world of good, but that’s no consolation for missing out on another century.

Oh, and just to complete the feeling of wicketus collapsicus déjà vu, de Bruyn scored a princely 2 runs in two innings, Surrey having been stuck in again, although it sounds as if Finn bowled the ball of his life to dismiss him second time round. At the end of the day, I guess that's cricket for you! Last weeks heroes suddenly find themselves with the tables turned upon them.

Brilliant effort from Middlesex? Poor show from Surrey? Bit of both? You decide.

This is what I have learned from the two days thus far:

Surrey are missing Meaker.

Surrey are missing Ramps (please come back quickly)!

Surrey are attempting to send poor Chris Adams to an early grave.

Johnny Barran makes splendid unintentional double entendres live on the internet! (I bet Linley will never live down today’s comment!)

‘Climb every mountain’, sang Frauline Maria’s mother superior. Well, Surrey are staring up a huge pig of a mountain. With snow on the top. Brian Blessed’s probably there as well. And he’s eaten all the Kendal mint cake. Not to mention started an avalanche with his shouting. There’s no mountaineering equipment, and the air rescue department are unavailable due to being on holiday for the Royal Wedding.

Oh, and the mountain’s on Mars.

I don’t have an ‘eeek’ emoticon big enough!

A welcome in the valleys

The story so far:

It’s day two, at the Swalec in beautiful Wales. Surrey are playing Glamorgan.

No, I mean it. They are! Genuinely! Last year I made a comment that it seemed Surrey were always playing Glamorgan for some weird reason. Some problem with an unravelling causal-nexus, no doubt, or some freaky wormhole in time. But I wasn’t the only one who had remarked upon the fact that no matter how many different teams there were in division two, it always seemed to be Glamorgan that was playing against their team!

Alas, Mr Cosgrove (he of the stout heart and even larger waistline) no longer seems to play the longer form of the game for Glamorgan, but don’t let that fool you into thinking there are no batsmen in their ranks. For that matter, I’m sure the idea of facing a Ramps-less Surrey must have allowed the Welsh side to really fancy their chances of stealing a march against Surrey, given the fact that a fair few previous encounters have ended in stalemate.

So, what do a maestro-less side do when the going gets tough? Answer: find someone prepared to stick around long enough to play the same brilliant type of innings!
Today Surrey found three people who did just that. Firstly, big props to Schofield who fell agonisingly short of a well-deserved hundred, run-out on 99! That is just plain cruel. Equally big kudos to de Bruyn who, ever since we started calling him Reg, has flourished beyond all expectations from the wonderful batsman we knew him to be, to a mega-batsman of Rampresque stature. You can’t really get a better compliment than that, so I won’t go on about it save to congratulate him on his 172.

But the star of the day was Tom Maynard, back facing the club from whence he had come to not a few unsporting boos and jeers from the Glamorgan supporters. The best riposte therefore that Maynard could have given came in the form of his fantastic 123...a well crafted innings that saw him delightedly punch the air when the big moment arrived. Whether he really deep down wanted to turn to the crowd, waggle his fingers in his ears and shout “na na na naa naah!” we will never know, as he was too much of a gentleman to respond in such a way.

I would have!

Imagine. A side boasting a middle order of a fully fit Ramps, de Bruyn and Maynard – and with Davies, Brown and Hamilton-Brown on their A game – would be nigh on impossible to face down! At last Surrey seem to have the men to support Mr Ramprakash, and hopefully that will allow him at long last to feel the burden of expectation being lifted from his shoulders. Although no doubt playing his own game whilst the likes of de Bruyn play theirs may result in some very silly and massive scores! If all elements of the puzzle slot into place this is potentially a very serious Surrey side.

And let’s say a word for the bowlers, because having declared on 575-7, the Surrey team manfully stuck to their task, with three wickets for Meaker and one for Batty. Glamorgan closed on 95-4, and will have to be mighty careful tomorrow not to lose any quick wickets or else they could find themselves facing the ignominy of being stuck in again...

The only slightly worrying side note was the absence of Dernbach, having bowled a few overs and then being taken off, either as a precaution or for ongoing physio. Fingers crossed it’s not too bad.

So, from a Surrey point of view this has gone rather nicely at the end of play. Moment of the day however came from the magnificent Mark Church with the following piquant observation:

"Batty's pulled."

Pause.

"Hamilton Brown to one side..."

That would have been fast work indeed from Gareth Batty whilst still on the field of play!

Swings and roundabouts

Surrey v Northants day 3

I may have to cut this report a tad short. I’m informed there’s a rogue wasp loose in the house.

Whilst I’m not as phobic as my sister when it comes to the nasty, striped, pointy ended barstewards (I don’t tend to turn into gibbering, high-pitched version of Beaker from the Muppets, arms flailing like a human windmill) I can’t say they’re my favourite things in the world. And the fact there’s one hiding in a corner somewhere waiting to get me is making me distinctly nervous.

Anyway, the story so far.

You will recall that the ping-pong like nature of yesterday’s play had meant that both Surrey and Northants appeared to have periods when each side got their snouts in front. Well, the same thing happened today with perplexing regularity. I’m still confused as to where this one is heading. An awful lot is going to depend on how long de Bruyn (or Reg) sticks around in the morning and how quickly he scores. It’s going to be a tricky balancing act; take too long and the game will dwindle to a draw. Undercook it and suddenly Northants will be chasing down that target like an avenging angel...

Middlebrook proved himself utterly obdurate in the face of reasonably decent Surrey bowling; probably now earning the title of the tail ender you would least like to face at the death. It took an absolute age to shift Hall courtesy of Gareth Batty, and by then the worst of the damage had been done. The Surrey lead was whittled down, then equalled, and then surpassed with rapidity. And just when you expected the next two to capitulate, both Lucas and Daggett refused to fall on their swords! Lucas did eventually go, and then finally Middlebrook (who had reached a well deserved century en route) succumbed for 103 just a few balls before lunch.

Hats off to them for making this game an interesting one if nothing else.

The opening partnership of Brown and Wilson finally had the chance to show what they could do by way of reply, and I think it potentially could be a good one for Surrey long-term. Brown put a relatively good total on the board before perishing for 46, but at least he will take a small amount of satisfaction with the way he batted. Wilson too got into the forties before being undone by a rather wicked googly. Are you seeing a pattern here? Remember the case of thirty-itus that struck down the batsmen on day one? Well, with the exception of Davies who sadly managed only a score of 11 in the second innings, each wicket that fell went in the forties (the skipper making 41). If de Bruyn makes 45 tomorrow or thereabouts you’ll know somebody has hexed us...

So, there you have it. The old cliché about the game being ‘delicately poised’ was never more true than in this instance. Surrey still have batting to come, but if things get sticky and de Bruyn falls cheaply you’d have to fancy Northants for the win, as the total they would be chasing probably wouldn’t be nearly enough. A score of 260 or thereabouts might at least give Surrey a chance of bowling Northants out, or at the least securing a draw, but anything less and it’s probably ‘Goodnight Vienna!’

With its many twists and turns, Deirdre would have loved this game! But I can’t help but feel she’d have loved it more were it to twist in Surrey’s favour!

C'mon the Reg!

So, here we are at the start of a new County Championship, brought vividly to life via the magnificent BBC London ball-by-ball internet coverage. Its commentators - the splendid Mark Church and the suave J Barran esquire – as ever do their level best to make sure we don’t miss a single stroke or ball bowled in anger. And, when like today, the action is bathed in unseasonal warm weather you can simply close your eyes and imagine you’re at the Oval, accompanied by the sound of leather hitting willow...

Unfortunately I was stuck at work running the annual Grand National office sweepstake this morning so I missed the opening salvos. When I got home Michael Brown had long since departed (for a second ball duck, poor fellow) and lovely Gary Wilson – who I still maintain should have the word ‘chirpy’ forever prefixing his name had followed suit for 29.

Dad hailed me with a “your team’s down two players” and my natural reaction was to stare back with dramatically widened eyes, and then I remembered Ramps was still sidelined and felt slightly better. For a few moments at least.

I do feel sorry for Michael Brown. All those months of hard work, trying to get fit after a year on the sidelines through injury, and then out for zero. But there will no doubt be better times ahead. The same goes for all those who felt the sting of the hurty-thirties, with de Bruyn, Maynard and Davies (or Reg, Winegum and Dangerous, as they are known to the Rampants) all suffering early middle-order crisis with scores of 35, 31 & 32 respectively). Actually, de Bruyn picked up his moniker today when our own wonderful Marilyn tried to offer some encouragement with a resounding if accidental typo of “come on the Reg” instead of the more customary battle cry of “come on the ‘rey!” Well, with de Bruyn in and going well at the time it seemed likely that was who she was referring to!

Reg did show us what he was capable of, however, if we had forgotten what a tricky player he can be. Maynard too. He was ticking along nicely with the skipper when he got out. And probably the least said about the Davies run out the better. I still maintain that immediately after lunch a man’s mind – if not his stomach – is on his digestive tract. Two balls after resuming and Davies was walking back to the pavilion. A bit of a shame because, like the others, he had a decent start that he could have capitalised on. And it’s never nice being run out, regardless of whether it’s your fault or someone else’s. Not to mention downright embarrassing...

RHB, a man on a mission to lead by example, provided one of the genuine moments of pride for Surrey with a well-paced, finely executed 74. He has the talent but last year was never really going to be a vintage one. Taking on the captaincy at such a tender age was always going to be a struggle of biblical proportions first season. This year it appears he knows he has to be one of the Surrey mainstays in the absence of Ramps, which I think basically means ‘don’t give your wicket away with a rush of blood to the head’. There were very few signs of impetuosity, certainly: it seemed like an innings that was level headed and controlled. Well, up to the point when he was given out lbw...

And if your top order doesn’t quite do what it should, what then? Well, in the recent past, Surrey did have a tendency to roll over and die when six or seven down, but last year there were signs on a good few occasions that the tail was more than capable of putting up a fight. And lo – today in stepped the mighty St Gareth of Batty to stop the seemingly inexorable slither to a total some way short of 300, with a resounding 64 of his own. Mr Batty really is beginning to fill that priceless roll of all-rounder. Fingers crossed he can be as successful with the ball should the pitch begin to turn on day two.

So, with Surrey all out for 322 claiming their three bonus batting points, and Northants also on three bowling points, it really is all to play for tomorrow: a day which I have to devote to the Grand National, so my multitasking skills will really be put to the test. Between listening to the cricket and watching the racing from Aintree I shall be so distracted that were Clare Balding to pull on some pads and have a bat, nothing would surprise me!

Times; they are a' changing

So, it would be safe to say that the pre-season team re-jigging has well and truly begun! We have already:

Released Usman Afzaal

Presumably lost Andre Nel

Gained Kevin Pietersen permanently

Gained Zander de Bruyn

Gained Tom Maynard

Gained Yasir Arafat

Signed up Rory Burns, Zafar Ansari, Tom Lancefield and Tom Jewell from the lower ranks.

Actually, if you have all of the team (or at least most of it) firing at once you are in danger of having a cohesive little unit for what seems like the first time in an age. You have a wealth of youngsters who the skipper knows very well, you have older heads like de Bruyn (who I shall hitherto refer to as Zander because I’m struggling with typing his surname in repeatedly) and Ramps (when/if fit) and the occasional appearance of Pietersen. From a Surrey point of view it’s a real shame to lose Tremlett to England although understandable - and well deserved – but I do think that the signing of Arafat has been a canny one, especially as he will be available all season. Of course, most of the Rampants were very pleased by the fact Yasir’s rather easy on the eye as well, but that of course didn’t come into my line of thinking at all.

I’m guessing Liz is shaking her head at me now. Hehehehehe...

Tom Maynard’s an interesting acquisition. He had a lot to prove and left his beloved Glamorgan in unfortunate circumstances, but he certainly has the ability to be a very destructive batsman and I could see him making a mark in the one day games in particular. The young Surrey lads are all potential stars waiting in the wings to make an impression, much as Jason Roy has already done.

The loss of Andre Nel is a difficult one to quantify. Perhaps he hasn’t done as much with the ball on those flat, beautiful Oval wickets as you would hope, yet there’s just something about Andre that made him a box office draw. That wonderful stand with Dernbach last year will stick in my memory for many years to come. As for Afzaal, I wish him well at Derbyshire. I’ll miss him running over to Ramps every time he took a wicket with an improbably slow ball, and hearing how Mr R kept running out the way!

We have new sponsors. Brit Insurance have gone after a solid amount of years supporting the team, which means unfortunately my Surrey drinking mug is out of date! Does this mean I have to buy a new one or do I just pretend that nothing’s changed, as the ignorant so-and-sos at work won’t know any different (except perhaps Ian, who strikes me as the sort of person who would know that kind of thing)? Kia is now the official sponsor at the Oval. I keep wanting to say ‘IKEA’ but that of course is another kettle of flat pack self-assembly furniture...

And last but certainly not least, Bill Gordon is no longer head groundsman, although he is still there in an assistant/advisory capacity. If the new fella that’s come in has understudied Bill he will no doubt be very successful (and I want to point out again that I was not the Rampant who made reference to Scott Patterson being extremely ‘fit’). I mean, honestly! Also, a big thanks to whomever it was who agreed that we could have Deirdre’s ashes scattered at the Oval. I’m sure the idea would have tickled her, and it will give every future trip to Kennington a certain poignancy.

Whilst players come and players go, Dominic Cork continues to wobble and weave his magic on the ice every Sunday night (although for how long remains to be seen). I don’t think he’s going to win Dancing on Ice. I’m not even sure he’s going to be there next week, but fair play to him for having a go at what is an extremely tough sport.

You should’ve done Strictly, Corky!