Crash, Bang...Whimper! We've won!

Do you know what? That game was weird!!!

No crash, no bang, and only the merest hint of wallop. This was the T20 game that felt like an old fashioned Pro 40 match, albeit one with its legs cut off. The atmosphere was a little bit muted despite the fact the Pantherettes and the Lionesses were high kicking and flashing gussets with the best of them. Actually, I wondered if at any point we were going to be in for a catfight, but alas it was all rather civilised. A pity, really. I think the crowd would have paid good money just to see that!

Of course, the main reason for the somewhat stilted atmosphere was the fact that Surrey managed to trounce Middlesex at Lords, and the home crowd probably hadn’t banked upon that given both teams recent form. With Middlesex coming off the back of two straight wins, and Surrey with one win and a narrow loss in their previous encounters, form tended to suggest the Oval posse would have their work cut out. Ever since Gilchrist took over the reins Middlesex has been resurgent and it has to be said a mighty fine team to boot.

I missed the first three wickets on account of having to tackle a mountain of dishes rising up, Godzilla like, from the sink. So it was with considerable relief that I discovered Warner had gone for 15, Dexter for 14 and Gilchrist for 12! It seemed as if Surrey’s bowling was back to where it was when systematically dismantling Somerset a few games back. However, I did come back just in time to hear Malan falling for 2. There was considerable Rampant excitement at that point amongst the Surrey supporting contingent. Being a superstitious sort of person, and remembering how well it had worked previously, I thought perhaps I might try my hand at begging for some more wickets...

Scott Newman? Check! Gone for a quacker.

And then this little piece of Miah-style witchyness:

“Please Lord...can we get rid of Berg now? What chance a run-out with Shah later on?”

Followed shortly by Berg being run-out by...Shah.

Okay, I’m blowing my own vuvuzela here (at the risk of sounding vulgar!) but I’m beginning to get a reputation as a first class hexer! Not really in the spirit of the game, methinks, but to be honest most people could have seen that coming without relying on the almighty for divine intervention. Shah does have some previous where his running – or lack of – between the wickets is concerned.

Oh, and then I (or rather Gareth Batty) got Smith out for 2. I have to say my figures were very good today! Three wickets for 18 runs! Well done me!

On a more serious note the rest of the innings followed with Udal going for a duck, Murtagh for 6 and Pedro Collins managing to hang on in dogged – and exhausted – fashion for a noble 2 not out, with Shah holding the Middlesex innings together with 44. I have to say I was disappointed he didn’t run himself out. This also isn’t in the spirit of the game but I was feeling a bit bloodthirsty for a Surrey win at this point, especially one against their arch rivals!

I always think saying ‘arch rivals’ makes the opposition sound like Davros in Dr Who or some such. Some fiendish nemesis that just won’t lie down and die no matter how many times you take it on. However, unless Middlesex swap their candyfloss shirts for black leather and mobility scooters that’s probably where the Davros comparison ends. And, given the slightly tame innings from the boys in pink, with Shah turning down singles repeatedly just to keep himself on strike (the right thing to do as it turned out), mobility scooters probably were the order of the day for a squad that were simply not at their best. It seems that Gilchrist has assumed a Rampresque status, in that if you get him early the rest of the team suddenly seem to be left scratching their heads, trying to remember exactly what to do!

128 for 9 wasn’t an especially good score. Middlesex knew it, the crowd knew it and Surrey knew it was well. Yet for all that it looked a fairly easy target, Surrey’s ability to chase down scores of any description is somewhat dubious. With that in mind the two openers went at a steady pace rather than going at it all harum skarum, with the skipper looking especially as if he were setting his stall out for the evening. The opening two had perhaps less pressure on them than in previous games and looked very comfy, although Davies again managed to get out when just into the 20s.

The Gareth Batty experiment with the third position, which again sounds a little naughtier than it probably should for a plain old match report, has now stopped, thankfully. Pinch hitting is a good idea, but it helps if you hit in the first place! Normal service was resumed and Mr Ramprakash came to the crease at his former ground, which is usually good news for Surrey. I think he averages something like four hundred and twenty against Middlesex in all forms of the game?

As it happens there were no big alarms at all. RHB played a lovely, confident captain’s innings and Ramps just kept ticking merrily along at the other end, with the runs being hoovered up at a consistent pace. It became quite clear from some way out that even given Surrey’s ability to collapse, wickets weren’t going to fall in time to prevent a Surrey win. And so it proved, with RHB on a fine 73 not out and Mr R on a very good 36 not out. It was a curious game, but if it gets Surrey a win then I don’t care if they bat wearing roller skates and bowl on pogo sticks...

So, well done boys. A victory against Middlesex at Lords. Three fine wickets for me, a confident if unspectacular run chase from Surrey which leaves them still clinging on to the possibility of further progress in the competition should a few more wins come their way. As for Middlesex, it just wasn’t their day, that’s all. They didn’t play the way they could and Surrey bowled very well. A word here for Dernbach who worryingly seems to have picked up a side injury. I hope it’s not too troublesome, because we can’t really do without him.

There was one triumph for Middlesex, however. Mr O’Brien, assisting Kevin Hand, Mark Church and Johnny Barran on the radio commentary was an absolute delight. Especially at the end when he inadvertently gave out that David Warner was likely to start in their next game!

Nice one Ian!