The name of the game!

 
Seeing as how we’re all supposed to be focussing on T20 at the moment, let’s take a light hearted look at the teams taking part. Or rather, let’s have a look at the names of the teams.

Names tell you an awful lot about a person. Mine for example has left me in a quandary: according to my mother, my dearest papa spelled it wrongly whilst registering my birth. Now, some thirty something years on, I don’t know whether I should add my missing letter or stick with what I have. Maybe if I win the lottery I’ll add it in the shape of a £ sign, just to annoy my sister.

Of course, if we don’t like the names we have been provided with by our parents we can always change them in the hope of expressing our true attributes. And no, I’m not changing my name to numpty before anyone suggests it. In a similar fashion the various counties have taken on monikers that hopefully sum up what they are all about or, if not, what they would like to represent. So, let’s have a look at the teams, shall we?

Essex Eagles: Big, swooping, powerful bird of prey. With sharp talons.

Miah’s verdict: Very good. Extra points for alliteration. 10/10

Glamorgan Dragons: Patriotic, emblematic, and fiery. With sharp claws.

Miah’s verdict: Good. No alliteration though. 8/10

Gloucestershire Gladiators: Battle-hard, warrior-like, unflinching. With sharp daggers.

Miah’s verdict: Very good. Points for alliteration but having two long clunky names means it lacks punch. 9/10

Kent Spitfires: Aggressive, daring, brave. With lots of fire power.

Miah’s verdict: I like the name. No alliteration though but it’s difficult to know what to stick with the letter ‘K’. Kent Krill doesn’t really do it, somehow. 8/10

Middlesex Panthers: Slinky, feline, supple. With sharp claws.

Miah’s verdict: Good. Hope they are not coming in to the Pink Panther theme, because that is just naff. Sorry. How are you supposed to get the blood pumping to that??? And no alliteration either. 7/10

Somerset Sabres: Aggressive, dangerous, and deadly. With a sharp point.

Miah’s verdict: Excellent! Perfect alliteration. 10/10

Surrey Lions: Noble, kingly, powerful. With sharp claws.

Miah’s verdict: Very good. Certainly better than the Brown Caps in terms of inspiration, but no alliteration. 9/10

Sussex Sharks: Ruthless, merciless. With sharp teeth and a nasty bite!

Miah’s verdict: Excellent. Snappy, alliterative name! 10/10

Derbyshire Falcons: Hawk like, keen sighted, swift. With sharp talons.

Miah’s verdict: It’s okay, but it’s a bit like a poor version of the eagles. And it doesn’t have alliteration. 7/10

Lancashire Lightening: Electric, intense, violent. With a big sharp flash!

Miah’s verdict: Very good, but although it does have alliteration it’s yet again another long, un-punchy name. 9/10

Leicestershire Foxes: Cunning, wily, smart, and slippery. With sharp teeth!

Miah’s verdict: I understand that the fox is the Leics emblem, so fair enough. Isn’t catchy though and doesn’t have alliteration. 7/10

Northamptonshire Steelbacks: Strong, unbending, unrelenting.

Miah’s verdict: It may say something about the Northants area, but it’s not really pictorial enough for T20. And no alliteration! 6/10

Nottinghamshire Outlaws: Daring, brave, adventurous. With, I dare say, a quiver full of arrows!

Miah’s verdict: It’s a mouthful, but the name is kind of iconic and does make you think of Robin Hood. They don’t play in tights though, which is a disappointment. And no alliteration! 7/10

Warwickshire Bears: Sturdy, powerful, and just plain frightening when they get going! With sharp teeth!

Miah’s verdict: They can be cute, they can be angry, and you don’t want them near your picnic baskets. Doesn’t have alliteration but it’s a very symbolic name. 8/10

Worcestershire Royals: Noble, magnificent. Inbred? “Orf with his head!”

Miah’s verdict: Er...um. Okay. It’s better than the Pears. But generally speaking it’s not great. Unless they want to bring to mind a gaggle of corgis. 6/10

Hampshire Royals: See above.

Miah’s verdict: I know it was a tie-in to the IPL, but surely the Hants fans can cope with more than one name? 6/10

Durham Dynamos: Well, er...dynamic? Um...

Miah’s verdict: It has alliterative qualities. It’s punchy. And that’s it. 7/10

Yorkshire Carnegie: What?!?

Miah’s verdict: Oh, pulleaase! What sort of effort was made there??? I’m giving them 2/10, and one of those is because I happen to like Yorkshire as a team!

People, if you love your children, give them nice names. Give them names with attributes and qualities you would like them to have. Something they can be proud of. Unless of course you get your baby sponsored at birth. Tesco Smith and Asda Jones are not likely to thank you in the long run!