The Winner Takes It All...

Two more T20 games have come and gone since my last blog post. In the first we were outplayed and roundly cuffed by a superior Somerset outfit. Although the imperious Tresco fell in the thirties Somerset always looked in control, and even when some fine ‘at the death’ bowling pulled it back to a gettable target you had the feeling that Somerset were just too classy to be caught by the Surrey batsmen. And sure enough, they weren’t...

In the game against Glammy we did to the Welsh side what Somerset had done to us the day before, and soared like an ‘Eagle’. It was almost unbelievable to think that Surrey could put in such Jekyll and Hyde performances back-to-back, but in hindsight we’ve been doing this all season. ‘Should I laugh or cry?’ I think Surrey would win first prize for most consistently inconsistent side in the country! One minute they’re hot, the next so cold the skin would be taken from your backside if you sat down for any length of time. It certainly makes for an exciting team, but you can’t help but wonder if they have any self-belief. All the other components are there. I wish someone would take the team to one side and say “look, if you do what you did to Glamorgan every day you’d be world beaters”...

I’m assuming that this talk actually happens in the pre-match huddle each game, and somehow it just hasn’t truly sunk in. Maybe they’re in a ‘Dream world’.

Whilst this seems like ‘Disillusion’, the truth is this lot are talented. Most of them are young. They are missing Ramps’ experience, but they have the mighty de Bruyn to step in to the breach (and what a ‘Super Touper’ he’s been!) and help them through. But the top order has been in all kinds of pickles this year. Poor Davies: it really hasn’t happened for him at all in 2011, out yesterday for a duck. And, ‘Mama Mia!’ the skipper, fractionally dropped down the order again, only managed to score a solitary run! Has someone hexed poor Rory with alphatitis? Time to send out an ‘SOS?’

This said the performance as a team yesterday was splendiferous. And during Abba night as well! Amidst all the 70s bling, loud music and bail-stealing interlopers, ‘The Visitors’ announced their ‘Arrival’ and had Glamorgan ‘Under Attack’, and ‘When all is said and done’ the Welsh side met their ‘Waterloo’. It was soon ‘So long’ Glamorgan!

Now, if only we can get Ramps back ‘As good as new!’

Do I think this team can still qualify for the fourth spot? 'I do, I do, I do, I do, I do...'

The 40 over world record...in 38 overs!

It’s CB40 time and today...we’re playing Glamorgan again!

Not a complaint. I look forward to the Surrey v Glamorgan battles! But there’s a really odd phenomena here. Even although Surrey will play Glamorgan the same amount of times as every other team in this stage of the contest, it just feels like we do nothing but play Glamorgan! I’m not sure how this has come about, or why my brain has conditioned itself to feel this way. I think there must be some Dr Who-style technobabblesque explanation for this phenomena...some rift in the space time continueum.

I think it’s because last year’s RAGM was the end of season game against...Glamorgan. And this year’s RAGM? Yep, got it in one! Glamorgan again! I think it’s the Cosgrove effect: everything is being drawn away from their natural orbits and being pulled towards him. He’s going to wind up being the centre of an entire galaxy at this rate! Even I couldn’t resist his pull after seeing him last year. I’ve come to the conclusion that Mr Cosgrove and Glamorgan occupy a very special place in our hearts.

Of course, that doesn’t mean we want them to win!

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I’m trying to multi-task here. I’m watching Masterchef, drying my hair, and listening to the commentary. It’s proving very difficult, even although as a woman I think it’s meant to happen naturally. John Terrode is currently trying to de-bone a fish, Churchy and Johnny Barran are valiantly trying to fill in during a rain break, and I’ve just noticed that my hair has split ends. At this rate I may end up filleting my locks...

The state of play at the time of typing this is that Surrey have just created a 40 over world record to go along with the 50 over one already in the bag from a few years previously.

Oooh – breaking news. 8.30pm restart. 227 for Glamorgan to win, with 20 overs to get it.

How fab! We may yet have a game!

It was looking dodgy for a while, and what a pity it would have been if there was no more play after the amazing Surrey display earlier today! TV were there to record the epic total, which pleases me because they aren’t exactly the most pro-Surrey persons on the planet. Criticism is fine if deserved, and Surrey have put in performances that have deserved censure over the last few years, but there does seem to be an element of enjoyment from certain quarters whenever they do badly. I’m sure today will have put a smile on their faces. He he he...

I missed the start of the game, but I guessed I would. I got in at ten minutes to four, greeted by my dad with a “I see your game was delayed”. Given the weather report that didn’t surprise me, so I took my time getting changed, switching on the PC, only to find out that the game had resumed some five minutes previously, and Surrey had already passed the 20-0 mark!

They never really looked back. It was a barrage of constant boundaries, with RHB making a fabulous if slightly chancy at times 115 – his first hundred in 40 over cricket – and Davies with a regal 88. Walters, coming in at three, hit it around for a while and made a rapid 18 until Waters (yes, very confusing surname clash there) had him caught and bowled. Then enter stage left the master, with Ramps going through every available gear, starting slowly, then putting his foot on the accelerator at the end, all the while purring like the engine of a Rolls Royce and making a fabulous 85 (which I missed because I had a chicken casserole to deal with). At the other end Spriegel made a resolute 56. It never ceases to amaze me how well Spriegel and Ramps bat together. If Bodie and Doyle could play cricket, that’s who these two professionals would be!

Just when we were celebrating the new 40 over record, the heavens opened and left the Oval a little soggy looking. Churchy's filling in valiantly (it always amazes me how he manages to make rain breaks fun), and I loved Johnny Barrans assertion that the boiling sky above the Oval was reminiscent of the end 10 mins in Ghostbusters! I hope that doesn't make Cosgrove Mr Stay Puft! No doubt Sky's contingent will be fretting as to whether they will get back out for the rest of the game.

Cosgrove managed to get hit on the toe whilst he was batting, but it didn’t stop him! Next time, I suggest Surrey aim a little higher up...

Before resumption Croft was out for two. An awful lot depends on whether Surrey can get Maynard out: if they do they should have a total that will see them home.

If Surrey get Maynard out...

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I just finished typing the word ‘Maynard’ and lo! He was gone!

Really all down to Cosgrove now for Glamorgan.

I’m trying to drink tea, but I’m getting menaced by one of those little black flies you get in pot plants. It’s trying to drown itself, and I should think the way poor Jason Roy is fielding at the moment he will be trying to follow suit. He’s usually one of the best fielders around but he’s put down three chances in as many minutes. Maybe the lights are playing tricks on him.

Oh – Brown gone now!

So has Colin Jackson in Masterchef. I am not happy: I like Colin. Hmmmph!

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There’s a very interesting program on BBC 2 about Normans in Britain. I love history, but just to show my devotion I am sticking with the cricket.

Churchy has just said that Cosgrove is still “swinging like a rusty gate”. I’d hate to see the hinges on him...

Cosgrove has just launched the bat – literally! It’s going flying!

Oh, and now Cosgrove has gone for 88! Well caught Dernbach!

************

It was inevitable despite the gutsy (not referring to Cosgrove here) fight back from Glamorgan that Surrey were going to win this. In the end the target was just too big, and they triumphed by 39 runs. Dalrymple was still there at the end, but the moment Cosgrove went any tiny chance they had of chasing the total evaporated. The victory leaves Surrey in second spot, facing the might of Sussex in a few days time at Guildford. Who knows which way the game will go: Surrey can justifiably be proud of their performances in this contest over all, but the consistency isn’t perhaps there yet, something Sussex will be hoping to exploit.
All the same, a team that boasts a world record is hardly one who will be scared to take on anyone! In many ways the unpredictability just adds to the excitement!

It isn’t over ‘til the fat laddie swings...

That title's a bit cruel, given how fond I am of Cosgrove. Today, alas, more or less saw the end of Surrey’s chance of progression (not that those chances were great anyway), but as I keep attempting to remind myself, T20s only a bit of fun. It’s the cricket equivalent of Dali’s wobbly, melting clocks. It’s not the Mona Lisa and it’s not a masterpiece by Titian or Renoir. It’s still art and it has broad appeal to many, though. Nowt wrong with paintings of people with both eyes on the side of their face. I used to draw like that...

Surrey’s up and down form has of late been more akin to a dead sheep pickled in Formaldehyde and suspended upside down in a tank but, for all that, today’s game (final nail in the T20 coffin as it was) at least provided some thrilling moments. Stewie Walters got a well deserved 53; his first half century in the contest. And on the Glamorgan side of things we got to see a whole lot more of Cosgrove. As one wag recently said, if telly puts 10lbs on to your frame then Cosgrove has eaten a lot of tellies...

Firstly, from a Rampant point of view, Mr R was sadly not playing as it appears he damaged his shoulder during the run out in yesterday’s game. Fingers crossed it’s nothing too serious. However, with Davies back from Lions duty and Lancefield opening again it looked like it might be an interesting match. So it proved: and that was without mentioning the streaker! Whilst I love a good streaker during a game you do have to wonder why they do it. A bet? Because they’ve had several skinfuls? Whatever, they have to have a huge...brass neck.

Surrey won the toss and opted to field first. RHB is improving in the tossing stakes! Unfortunately it seemed to take the Surrey bowlers a little time to get used to the slower conditions and whilst they were doing so Glamorgan – and Cosgrove in particular – were making hay. 75 runs were on the board before Allenby eventually obliged Meaker by getting out. For a while Surrey flattered to deceive as Meaker struck moments later by removing recent hero Maynard without scoring, but then Glamorgan went back to scoring as they liked. It didn’t even look as if another wicket was going to occur.

Fortunately for Surrey, the next six wickets fell in rapid succession. Just as it appeared as if Cosgrove would launch himself (figuratively, as it would take one heck of a canon to propel him through the air) towards a century Tremlett struck, getting him for 76. And then came the deluge of wickets: Wallace for 5, Dalrymple for a well made 33, Wright for a duck, Harris for 1 and Croft run out without scoring. From what had looked a hopeless situation Surrey’s bowlers had managed to pull it right back. It was a valiant effort from Meaker and Tremlett, with some good fielding from Schofield to boot, although in retrospect I bet they wish they could have struck a few overs earlier.

Having recovered from the amusing sight of Chris Tremlett in a girl’s wig (not during the game, but as shown in a photo by his housemate Michael Brown), we all listened in as Surrey responded by immediately losing Steven Davies without scoring. I’m sure most people were holding their heads in their hands and thinking ‘here we go again’, but Lancefield played a good knock and put on 22. Others around him didn’t fare quite as well, with Jason Roy out for 17 and RHB for 11. Symonds also scored 22, although he got out just as Surrey needed a batsman to really kick on.

In the meantime Walters had taken on the Ramps mantle of accumulator and was quietly going about his business. Alas, whilst his score was creeping ever upwards, so did the run rate. Overs were coming and going with alarming frequency, as were the Surrey batsmen as Spriegel fell for a duck and Schofield, who sounded a little lame in the foot, departed for 5. It was pretty much looking like curtains for Surrey at this point, until Walters and Nel began to get on a last minute charge with fours and sixes galore. But when Nel went for 9 the brief spark of hope was snuffed, and with Walters not really seeing much of the strike in the last few overs Glamorgan kept up the pressure, winning by 10 runs.

A mere 10 runs sort of sums up Surrey’s T20 effort this year. There have been flashes of brilliance from Symonds, Davies, Roy and Ramps with the bat, and with Tremlett, Nel, Spriegel and Dernbach with the ball. We’ve really missed Dernbach in the latter stages of this contest: I think that shows in some of the tighter finishes. There has also been some really heinous cricket as well from virtually all the players at some point. Yes, Surrey has improved markedly but I suppose the sad thing is that there were at least three games which perhaps they should have won. And had we done so, we’d have been in a mighty fine position to go through to the next stage.

Oh, well. C’est la vie! T20, just like wobbly clocks, is fine but it doesn’t make the world tick!

And besides, if there was no T20 we wouldn’t have had this fabulous quote from Mark Church:

“We've all done it in the back garden up against the coal bunker...”









(He was talking about providing ones’ own commentary whilst playing an imagined innings at Lords, btw. Just in case you were wondering!)

Thar be Dragons!

If someone makes a score of over 60 in a T20 game and still ends up on the losing side, you know the other side has played an absolute blinder.

Unfortunately that was the case today for Surrey in their game against the Glamorgan Dragons at the Oval this afternoon. Certainly the blistering start from openers Lancefield and Ramprakash (it still feels funny writing that!) promised an enormous target in the 200 plus region, which would have put the game right out of Glamorgan’s reach. In fact, 68 runs were on the board before Lancefield departed! Lancefield looks like a very good option in the shorter form of the game, and might be an option for any 40 over games if stuck.

I think we’re missing Davies a little here, to be honest. Not so much as a keeper, as Wilson was tidy enough, but certainly as a hard-hitting top order batsman. Imagine if he could have slotted in at four, although if he had been available I suppose there’s a good chance Lancefield might not have got the opportunity he did.

I guess another key moment was the dismissal of Jason Roy. We all know how destructive he is, and if he had stayed in with Ramps he could have juiced up the middle period of the game. As it was, when he was dismissed for 9 the Surrey innings continued reasonably enough, but the boundaries dried up a touch. The slower Glamorgan bowlers were much more difficult to get away, by the sound of things. Symonds also got out cheaply for 4, and the skipper fell for 18, leaving Stewart Walters to come in and see the Surrey innings out with a fine 31 to his credit at the end.

I think one of the problems for Surrey was the fact nobody was able to create a dominant partnership with Mr Ramprakash, who finished a marvellous 63 not out, in the way that the Glamorgan duo Maynard and Dalrymple did (with each other, not with Mr Ramprakash). It was a tricky situation for Ramps, as he had to make sure he was there at the end and not take the risks he had at the start of the innings once the Surrey firepower had been doused.

At one point it looked as if Surrey would struggle to get 150, but in the end they managed a healthy and competitive 168-4. Not brilliant, nor was it woeful either. The question on everyone’s lips: was it enough?

And the answer to that is: yes, if you win. No, if you don’t.

Frankly, you could score an unlikely 230 and feel reasonably comfortable that it was enough. But if the opposition score an equally unlikely 231, then it’s simply not! Glamorgan’s innings appeared to be the antithesis of the Surrey one. Ramps and Lancefield (which is a brilliant surname; very ‘knights of the round table’) had attacked from the get-go whilst Cosgrove and Allenby were a tad more sedate. I do love Cosgrove, I admit it. I know I’m repeating myself, but it’s difficult not to love a sportsman who is sculpted entirely of pies and chip butties yet still manages to play so beautifully.

After the first five overs it definitely seemed to favour Surrey. Allenby went for 5, with Spriegel continuing his great form, but Wallace came in and formed a great pairing with the looming Cosgrove, who appeared to have channelled his inner Whippet. He’s a bit like my cat, is Cosgrove. He may look a bit baggy and loose at the seams, but he can move when he wants to! Although I’m not sure tempting him with a bowl of Purina will spur him on between the wickets, and his fielding is probably not as good as it might be it’s fair to say he does what he does very well. Unfortunately for Surrey, what he does well is stick around far too long!

By the time Wallace went, 44 were on the board for the Dragons which was still behind the Lions score with Surrey no doubt still fancying the win from that point. But, like a multi-headed Hydra, having smote one neck there were yet others to deal with. Enter Maynard the younger. I don’t know enough about Maynard the elder to comment but everyone says he was a little bit good. Well, daddy Maynard, your boy’s a little bit good as well! To say that his innings was crucial would win the main prize in the Sybil Fawlty School of ‘stating the bleedin’ obvious!’ And, drat him, he wouldn’t go away no matter how Surrey tried!

And in fairness they did try very hard to get rid of him, but although Cosgrove finally went for a well-rounded (pardon the pun) 19 and Rees for 6, the man they desperately needed to remove was sticking tighter than the contents of a tin of Uhu. Gradually Maynard began to up the tempo, until the required rate was almost on par, and with only three or so overs to go you could begin to see the momentum swing the Dragon’s way. Dalrymple was yorked beautifully for 28 by Tremlett reviving hope once again. I think we will have to call him ‘The Tremulator’, a cross between the ‘Terminator’ and ‘crenulator’, which is a machine used for mashing bones. It seems rather apt given the way the big man has bowled in the T20 so far.

For as long as Maynard stayed in you felt that it was Glamorgan’s game to lose, and even although Tremlett bowled an absolutely corking second last over, it just proved to be too much in the end with something like 10 required off 7 balls. It was a very exciting, tight finish to a game that swung all over the place and must have made for a good spectacle for those at the Oval.

Maynard finished the game on 78 not out, and Wright 6 not out, whilst Surrey might yet find themselves ruing losing to a team that most others in the division have beaten so far. They won’t have long to wait for the re-match: the end of the coming week sees the Dragons take on the Lions once more. But will the Lions be Kings, or will the Dragons flambé them? Will Ramps continue his fine start as Surrey T20 opener? Can we tempt Cosgrove with a raspberry Pavlova to get out early?

Tune in on Friday to find out!