Miah Culpa!

I couldn’t cobble a post together yesterday as I was feeling a tad off colour, but given the collapse of last night it would have been little more than perplexed and incoherent rambling anyway and probably not worth the reading. Let’s just say that the ‘curse of the Rampants’ struck again. Went down for tea: everything was fine. Came back upstairs having slaked my hunger, read that one of the openers and also night watchman Walters had gone, switched on the commentary at the exact second Ramps was bowled for a second ball duck.

I switched it off again.

Leaving the room when the commentary is on conclusively causes wickets to fall. I think yesterday’s deluge of late wickets was my fault: I’m thinking of changing my name to ‘Miah Culpa.’

Oh, and it got worse, as Surrey finished four wickets down at the end of play.

My dearest father likes teasing me when things go badly for Surrey and it annoys me because now he’s had his hip replacement I don’t dare kick him by way of a response. I can’t see what he’s got to be smug about: he’s a Hearts supporter. He should know all about angst and trying to smile through pain and misery.

Anyhow, back to this morning. It appears the game was over by lunch time and we were conclusively stuffed, so there can’t be a lot of complaining as Worcestershire deserved the win. This current Surrey team appears to have the cricket equivalent of a hectic temperature! One minute the pulse races, the blood sings and the runs are racked up; the next there’s a sudden arrest in progress followed by a total, irrevocable flat-line. There’s still no real consistency in the Surrey ranks. At the moment the team reminds me of a giant tandem bike. They have the people to power it, but somebody’s nicked the pedals...

It’s not put me off going to the Oval, although I will readily confess to one or two nerves as the Glamorgan game draws ever closer. I really like the ground, and I think there’s a possibility I may just be able to sneak in to the members stand this time round courtesy of one of the Rampants. It should be a fun occasion meeting up with my friends, see the action live and (fingers crossed) watching Mr R play in the game. Can we have a whip round for Chris Adams and the skipper to make sure he does? Or the promise of a cake from Marks & Spencer’s? Pretty please? Getting to London is tricky at the best of times. Unless I manage to get a handle on this travel business I may have problems getting down in the future. I can’t rely on other people helping me out all the time and just in case this is my last trip south of the border, I want to make the most of it.

And no, that doesn’t mean I’m planning on streaking!

By way of a footnote, I was sad to read about the heckling Gareth Batty received by some of the Worcestershire 'fans'. I'm sure Ramps will be able to sympathise with Gareth on that score. I don't understand why they do this kind of thing. Is shouting abuse at a good club servant proving devotion to your team? The irony is that by belittling them you're not showing devotion, you're actually bringing your team's good name into disrepute. It isn't showing passion: it's displaying idiocy. Fortunately Gareth Batty has broad enough shoulders to take it, and I imagine future encounters with his former club will inspire him to even greater achievement.

Middlesex know all about that kind of thing.

Let's do the time warp again...

I almost wish it had rained now!

Don’t ask me about the run-out: I don’t know what happened! It’s all very well an oaf like me growling at Lancefield and picturing him batting in a big pointy hat with a ‘D’ on it, but I can’t pass judgement on something I never saw or heard. Bottom line is that Ramps was out for 20, although he seems to have struck one 4 and two 6s prior to his dismissal, so he seemed pretty much up for it today. All I do know is that judging by the reaction of others, the finger of guilt initially pointed at Lancefield. But I shan’t sulk. I will do the adult thing and watch the footage before I jump up and down, swear at the cat or chew the carpet in anguish.

Definitely Worcestershire’s game today. It wasn’t actually going too bad for Surrey in places, judging by the score card. Sure, Ramps’ dismissal would have caused a few momentary twitches in the Surrey ranks, especially as shortly afterwards the skipper once more failed to make it into double figures, poor fellow! Harinath earlier had accumulated 8 runs, so with only 73 on the board for a total of 3 wickets Worcestershire would have been licking their lips in the same wolfish manner Surrey had the day previously.

But Lancefield, if he did have any hand in the Ramprakash run-out, certainly made up for it by scoring a very handsome 74. Well, sort of made up for it. A hair shirt and some self-flagellation with a cricket bat might go some way towards making amends. Yet again Davies, back to his best now dropped down the order, chipped in with a much needed 68.

Surrey’s problems really started when Davies and Walters (21) went in rapid succession with 213 on the board. Even then you would have fancied Surrey’s chances of at least equalling the Worcestershire total, despite Spriegel’s departure for 4. Gareth Batty looked very solid and steady, weathering the storm along with Tremlett until a very clever, tricksy piece of bowling by Mason saw him bowled for 30. Within the same over Tremlett also fell for 10, leaving the Surrey tail to try to tough it out. Both Meaker and Dernbach can bat, especially Meaker, but on this occasion it wasn’t to be, with Meaker out for 1, leaving Dernbach not out on 0. The run chase had faltered in dramatic fashion leaving them 49 runs behind. They've been great this season, they've been awful this season, but today was like being stuck in some kind of circa 2008 Surrey timewarp!

Don't let Ceci see this. She'll photoshop Gareth Batty and Chris Tremlett in basques and suspenders, a la Rocky Horror. And probably Ramps in a french maid's outfit just for the hell of it!

There doesn’t seem to be anything wrong with the pitch; merely that the batsmen haven’t managed by-and-large to get their heads down. Lancefield was the closest for Surrey, although I bet Ramps will be irritated at a missed opportunity to score big and stretch a lead over Adam Lyth in terms of runs scored in the championship. Surrey could have done with a classy knock from the great man today, especially seeing as how Worcestershire closed on 13 not out.

Add that to the score difference of 49, and you are effectively looking at 62 not out in the second innings! Surrey are going to find it difficult to win this one from here. Let’s hope they can bat out for a draw, because the closer Worcestershire get towards 300-350, the more likely it is that Surrey will be returning to base camp to lick their wounds once more.

And I don’t think I could stand the whinging on the internet forums again...

ETA: Have viewed the run-out...hmm. Not sure. Did Lancefield run Ramps out? Is the person who makes the call to blame? Or did Sir not move quickly enough? Tight single there, but the umpire's decision is final (although he took his time deciding)! I don't think the hairshirt should be called for. Unfortunate though.