Handsome is as handsome does!

Are Surrey on a roll?

Whilst Middlesex were playing leapfrog with top of the table Northants having obliterated poor, abject little Leicestershire in record time, Surrey found themselves locked in a duel of their own with the former leaders, intent on making a real fist of their promotion challenge. It took a hearty knock from Steven Davies, whose recent turnaround in form has coincided with a greatly resurgent Surrey – and one of the most devastating bursts of speed bowling from Stewart Meaker – to get the upper hand on the Northants side. And make no bones about it: this is a side that had bossed the entire division from almost the start of the season, so for Surrey to not only win against them but to pretty much hang them out to dry indicates just how good the South London team can be.

I mean, take Meaker. That spell of bowling was a joy to behold! Or listen to, in my case. Every ball seemed to either go for zero runs or gain a wicket, to the extent where his tally for a couple of consecutive overs read like the opening theme of Inspector Morse with all its dots and dashes! Like many others I had been listening with a certain creeping sense of resignation that a draw was going to be the likely outcome, something that Surrey could ill afford, and then ‘boom!’ It just goes to show you that little, unexpected passages of play can make all the difference to the result.

Surrey are a powerful side when all goes well for them. There is a lot of depth in their side, and both youth and experience. It’s consistency that has let them down so far. There have been some games earlier in the season that they must now look back on with some regret, and wonder if they’d pressed a little harder would the results have gone their way? Sitting as they do in third place, with a game in hand on Northants, their destiny is very much in their own hands. It would be fair to say that the game with Essex is vital: a win at Chelmsford would take Surrey to within a sniff of second spot. If the weather is cruel, or if Essex play their best, another year in division two is probably on the cards.

Still, that dreaded word momentum is particularly relevant at the moment. Surrey have now won two games on the bounce – and find themselves in a final for the first time in 8 years thanks to a routine cuffing of a lacklustre Sussex Sharks side in the CB40 contest. For the time being, they must focus on the championship, because if they do manage to dismantle Essex the same way they did Northants then perhaps we are in for one of the most exciting championship finishes in both divisions we have seen since 2007.

One of the most disheartening things anyone ever said about me was when I was 15. I was walking home from school with a friend, and two old dears were audibly disparaging the trend amongst the 13 year olds to wear micro-skirts (what’s changed, I hear you ask?) and heels. Their approving glance fell upon me and my friend, remarking that we were ‘sensible and plain’. You have no idea how my heart sank! I mean, I don’t have the legs to wear short skirts. Don’t think I wouldn’t if I could get away with it! It wasn’t for want of effort that I was plain!

Surrey have been a bit plain for years, and it has been constantly remarked on. Flashy gear, money and attitude has not brought them success. There’s been the odd moment of brilliance; there’s been some fine individuals to don the fleur de lis insignia in the last 10 years or so, from Mark Butcher to Jon Batty, and of course Mark Ramprakash who for so long appeared to carry the team on his shoulder in a manner that would have put Atlas to shame! Now at least there is the slightest sense of a duckling turning into a swan. They’ve gone under the knife and had bits chopped away. The lines have been smoothed. The Botox has been injected: the trout pout has died down. What we’re left with is a very pleasing sight. It’s not a bad analogy, at the end of the day.

Although perhaps if I was Chris Adams I’d stay clear of the short skirts and heels.

Victory, and no legwarmers in sight!

You’ve got to hand it to Surrey. They are possibly the most bi-polar cricket team in the first class game.

One game they are embarrassingly poor. Beaten out of sight. Dispirited. Cowed. You get the idea. Insert negative adjective of choice.

Other times, such as the game against Leicestershire, Surrey look like they could quite comfortably take on – and beat – any team in division two, and possibly a good few from division one. Yes, as you can take it from that pre-emptive waffle, Surrey did win their game against Leicestershire. Now, you can see it as a determined, desperate effort to keep in the hunt for promotion or alternatively you can see it as a bigger club routinely bashing over the worst team in both divisions – one that seems in desperate need of championship CPU. “Nurse! The screens!”

A special mention must go to both Steven Davies and Tim Linley for their respective performances last week in a game that Surrey managed to polish off in three days. Whilst none of the batsmen have been consistently brilliant this year, although de Bruyn probably comes closest to fitting that tag, Davies in particular appeared to be struggling to make any real contributions with the bat. This time he made an eye-catching hundred and helped to pile on the runs in Surrey’s first innings. Linley continues to impress with the ball, this time taking nine wickets in the game. If he stays injury free he has got to be Surrey’s player of the year. In the second innings, a quick-fire 70 plus from the skipper allowed Surrey to make short work of chasing down the combined Leicestershire totals.

Credit where it is due, because after what can only have been an agonising amount of post-drubbing naval gazing, Chris Adams commanded his team to show some fight, and lo – as if the almighty had spoken - so it came to pass. And in not inconsiderable style!

It’s like watching a rather protracted game of ‘Pong’. Back and forward, back and forward...lose...win...lose...win...

Of course, thinking along these lines we should be in for a thrashing by title leaders Northants tomorrow. It’s make or break time, and no mistake! A loss will almost certainly put us out of contention in the promotion challenge and seal the deal for the current runaway leaders. A draw wouldn’t exactly help us, although ironically it would do the world of good to Middlesex in second spot! But if Surrey manage to show the same guts they did against an admittedly inferior side last week, and if all the batsmen and all the bowlers come to the party on the same day, who’s to say what the result might be?

Keep the faith! Remember boys, right here’s where you start paying in sweat!

Oh, no. Sorry. That was ‘Fame’, wasn’t it?

Another day...

Another draw.

That isn’t me having a moan or a bitching session, by the way. I’m very much of a ‘que sera’ mindset when it comes to results, although I do believe that positive thinking can do the power of good. Given the way that Surrey got brutalised by the amazing first innings display of Alviro Petersen (210), ably supported by Powell (who went for an unfortunate 99), it said something that they were able to make as good a fist of the last day as they did.

If you were to take the scores of Petersen and Powell out of the reckoning the Glamorgan innings looks slightly less impressive, with only Rees (25), Bragg (28) and Jones (17) making it to double figures. In fact Petersen assumed an almost Ramprakashesque status in terms of the importance of his innings in the context of the game. Surrey in reply managed only 284 to Glamorgan’s 419. Davies top-scored with 77 and Ramps next with 67. Maynard chipped in with 42, but likewise the rest of the team fell for not many runs, just avoiding the follow-on target although putting Glamorgan in a mighty fine position.

Day three was greatly spoiled by the first bad weather that Surrey had encountered this season, the afternoon session all but washed-out. This meant that day four was almost certainly going to result in a draw, and whilst the excitement of a potential nail-biting finish had been removed it didn’t stop Glamorgan from putting together a second innings total of 259, with Rees scoring 126 and Powell again in the runs with 67 not out. Perhaps Glamorgan had left the declaration too late to achieve a positive outcome, but given the way that Surrey began their reply (with Jason Roy and Hamilton Brown cutting into the target without even breaking sweat) it maybe wasn’t so foolish at first glance.

After Hamilton-Brown had fallen for 68 shortly after tea the almost gettable rate of 8 off an over rose to plus 10, and Surrey began to play for the declaration which came shortly before 5.00pm. Ramps finished 15 not out whilst Roy was 106 not out when the handshakes were in evidence.

A word about Jason Roy. This must surely have been a wonderful day for him, even if it was ultimately a game that tailed off into the draw everyone had expected. Not only did he get his maiden first class wicket but he finished the day off with his maiden first class century! To see Roy, surely a potential star for Surrey, at one end of the crease and Ramps at the other, a man who has just about achieved all that can be achieved in the county game, felt almost symbolic. Even if the results haven’t quite gone Surrey’s way this blend of experience and youth looks exactly what the team have been crying out for over the last few years.

The good points of the game, other than the splendid efforts of Petersen, Powell and Jason Roy, was that Mr Ramprakash passed the 35,000 runs landmark. Given the comparatively few county championship games that are played compared to even a few decades ago, this is an eye wateringly fine achievement. In the process of making the 67 first innings runs Ramps also overtook a certain D B Close in the first class run scoring list, moving to 39th of all-time. As the wonderful Churchy would say, “Splendid!”

The not so good news is that Steven Davies appears to have sprained his ankle. I’m not a doctor but I am qualified when it comes to sprained ankles. I still remember the absolute belter of a sprain I picked up in high school, which resulted in the ankle turning black for weeks. People I had never set eyes on before from other form classes approached me to show my ankle to them! It was my one moment of school notoriety! Anyhow, I don’t know how bad Davies’ sprain is but if it’s a bad one then don’t expect him to keep wicket in the Derbyshire game. Hopping behind the stumps really is going to be rather distracting for the bowler...

On the up

Ugh! I have a cold: one that started during the final knockings of the Surrey Leicestershire game. I could feel its germy microbes spreading through my body just as Nathan Buck’s stump decided to go its separate way from the others. But even although I am typing this with a head that feels as if it’s filled entirely with custard my good mood cannot be assuaged: Surrey won their game yesterday in very good time, and with considerable style.

From bottom of division 2 to fourth spot in one fell swoop! I can only assume that winning the two CB40 games has managed to generate a little momentum within the squad, and having the likes of Tremlett and Ramps back must have boosted the team no end. Whatever the reason, Surrey batted supremely and then backed it up with some really fine bowling as well, as they did unto Leicestershire what Middlesex did unto them the week before.

There were standout performances but this truly was a team effort, and this was the most impressive thing about the Surrey display. How many times have they unfairly been called a one-man unit? True, that man in particular played his part but today there was a real sense of coming together, and as the run tally grew so did the confidence in the side. De Bruyn was every bit the solid number 4 batsman and again scored over 60 runs, whilst Ramps fell just 9 agonising runs short of his first century of the season. Credit to him though: to score 91 in just your second innings in the campaign, having not struck a ball in anger since November is very impressive indeed. For Ramps neither the passage of time or injury has diminished his ability to score runs for his side.

Steven Davies came in with licence to swing the bat, which is precisely what he did until getting out for 37, at which point the plug was pulled by Surrey. Then began the almost impossible run chase as Leicestershire faced the unenviable task of having to carve into a sizeable lead of 423 with five sessions remaining! For Surrey there remained the possibility of rain on the fourth day, and so they set about Leicestershire: a contest that on the face of it was every bit as unequal as a Rottweiler taking on a well-chewed slipper...

Only one man put up any real fight against a revitalised Surrey, and that man was of course the diminutive James Taylor. During the course of his plucky stay at the crease he was on the receiving end of many brutal deliveries, in fact I’m surprised he’s still in one piece (or possessing all his teeth)! The others, Boyce apart with his 41 runs, all capitulated to the constant Surrey barrage: Meaker cleaning up the tail enders with ruthless efficiency claiming 4 wickets in total, Arafat taking 1, and Dernbach showing exactly why the England selectors came calling at the beginning of the year with a stupendous fivefer! It was only right that the final wicket of Taylor fell to him, and the delight at Surrey’s first victory of the season could be seen amidst the joyous celebrations within the team.

It was another good moment for skipper Rory. He seems to be learning all the time, and if Surrey can claim another victory this weekend over Leicestershire in the CB40 then perhaps the collective fortunes of the team are indeed on the up.

Fingers crossed, eh?

Victories, balls and farewells

Balls.

That’s what Surrey showed today. Big, massive ones at that! In a metaphorical sense, you understand. Displaying the non-metaphorical ones in public can result in arrest. Just ask any streaker worth his salt.

I don’t know if there was something in the Rosebowl air today, or whether Surrey were high on the back of their heady win over Scotland yesterday. I don’t know if maybe Deirdre, fresh from having her ashes scattered at the Oval today decided to look down at the teams from on high and have a laugh. Whatever the truth, today’s humdinger of a match just about caused me a peptic ulcer! Something decidedly odd seemed afoot almost from the word go.

I mean, Hants are chock full of decent players. And one by one – and at regular intervals – they dropped like ninepins! I’m not one for casting aspersions on the boys abilities and certainly Surrey are a more than reasonable team, but if you’d asked me if they’d have Hants all out for 141 in 30 overs I’d have probably spat my cup of tea out at your face in disbelief! How long have the doom merchants, naysayers and long-suffering “I can remember when we were invincible” brigade been hankering after a display like that?

It did seem a little too good to be true, to be honest. I’m afraid, with all due respect to our wonderful bowlers, I had suspicions something was up with the pitch. And when Hants began their response in the same manner as Surrey had, with wickets tumbling all over the shop, I felt all the more certain that the Rosebowl was misbehaving unexpectedly. Not in a naughty “call the ECB inspectors” way, I hasten to add. It just didn’t seem to be going the way either team had anticipated. By all accounts it should have been a marvellous batting track, and yet the ball dominated the bat in an almost obscene manner.

Take the Hants innings for example. The top score made by a batsman on their team was a slightly incongruous 34 from Dawson. The next highest score was 21 from McKenzie! With other scores ranging from a first ball duck for Corky to a couple of 15s for Pothas and Howell, things were looking mighty ominous for the home side. 4 wickets fell to a rather imperious Dernbach, with two for Arafat, two for Linley and one apiece for Schofield and Spriegel. I’m pretty sure even the most faithful of Hants supporters would have considered going home at the half way break!

If they did then they would soon have been regretting missing out on one heck of an exciting game. The skipper followed up his single run in the last game with, you guessed it, a single run in this one. I said RHB would have his day – and he will – but it seemingly wasn’t meant to be today. And when Davies, with the score still on 1, followed his captain back up the steps Dominic Cork must have been scenting blood! Worse followed when the experienced de Bruyn was out for 5 with the score on a measly 24, and when Maynard was dismissed for 14 (and then Wilson next ball for a duck) it looked as if another calamitous collapse was on the cards!

Thank heavens then for Jason Roy! I have the feeling (and indeed hope fervently) I may be saying that a lot in future years. He, ably assisted by Spriegel, was the main difference between winning and losing today. Yes, it was a long and protracted journey towards that 142 total that put me slightly in mind of my new treadmill: a lot of huffing and puffing but getting nowhere fast. But riding his luck once again and staying in to make 76 before being bowled was the main factor that Surrey now finds themselves near the top – if not at the top – of their CB40 group. Schofield came in and smashed the last couple of runs required to take them over the line, and although Roy wasn’t there at the end I’m sure he will reflected well upon his performance.

Credit to Spriegel for sticking with him to the end and playing such a pivotal role. His 29 not out was the third highest score in the entire game! And much credit to RHB for his constant mixing up of the bowlers; chopping and changing so that the opposition couldn’t settle at all. He showed a great deal of nous, and certainly in the shorter game he seems very tactically aware. The changes in bowlers he made today, and the times he made those changes, seemed almost inspired.

And so, with a second win under their belts the Surrey Lions can look forward to their next championship game against Leicestershire on Wednesday. Surrey seems to have a reasonable record against them, I think. At least a certain M.R.Ramprakash does. Will he be in the squad? What position will he play if he is? I had heard some ugly rumours about him possibly opening...but that does seem like wasting your best asset. Would you drive your Rolls Royce in a cross-country rally? Openers are there to take the sting out the new ball. Exposing your best player to it straight away seems like sheer lunacy to me, although given the number of times in the past that Ramps has had to come in early with the first wicket down I suppose he may as well open...

Back to the Oval. I mentioned earlier that our very own Deirdre’s ashes scattering took place today. By all accounts it was a very moving experience, even if she did turn up late to her own ceremony! The Rampants who made it to the Oval extend their thanks to the groundsman who both met their party and allowed them on to the pitch. Final word, I think, should go to one of our founding members, Fiona, who expressed the following sentiments on the scattering of Dee’s ashes:

“Gosh it was so very moving - her little patch of grass on the Oval pitch where she will now always be... Oh, and Dee, don't think we don't realise that it was you who ordered that great big gust of wind that took you floating up all over the members area!! Good girl! And her being late was SO Elizabeth Taylor. It was a very lovely day.”

God speed, lovely Dee! xxx

Burning, drowning and daylight thievery!

Well, the game involving the Surrey 2nd team went rather nicely!

Jason Roy made a not out century for a start, and whilst I’m told he rode his luck on a few occasions he was still there at the end, so fair play to him! He’s shaping up to be the star that many people have said he’d be. And from a more Rampant perspective the even better news was that Ramps made 90! Barring any aggravated knee problems it looks as if the man himself may well be in contention for a possible start against Leics next week! If he does manage this, all I can say is ‘wow’! He must be a really quick healer given the severity of the initial injury back in November. I recollect an awful lot of people predicting he would immediately quit the game as a result. But I guess until you test yourself in a first class match, with all the pressure and exertion that goes with it, how can you make a judgement?

Today Surrey took on Scotland at the Oval in their first CB40 game of the season. I think most sane people would have predicted the Surrey win that ensued (quite comfortably in the end), but Scotland shouldn’t be completely written off. They have one or two players, especially bowlers, who can do the business when required and may well be capable of pulling off the odd shock here and there. Steven Davies yet again fell just short of a century, whilst Roy batted extremely well following on from his century yesterday for the Surrey 2nds. De Bruyn and Maynard delivered the coup de grace in super-quick time, with 7 wickets in hand. The only slight disappointment was the skipper, who holed out quite early on in proceedings; although I’m sure his day will come. As for Scotland; I think they will be a much tougher force on their home turf of the Grange in Edinburgh.

I have interesting memories of the Grange. It is, after all, my local ground: in fact it is 15 mins on the bus from my house. I pass it every day on the way to work, and it always makes me smile to remember the previous occasions I’ve been there. You see, something always happens when I do go to the Grange.

In what I believe was 2007 I went to my first game at the ground. I think it was a 40 over game against Lancashire which, given that Anderson and Flintoff were both playing, they won comfortably. It was about the only thing that was comfortable, however, as I ended up with sunstroke and – just to make my life even more interesting – a massive reaction to the sunlight which caused the skin of my right hand to swell up dramatically so that I resembled ‘The Thing’ from The Fantastic Four. I got sent home from work next day as I couldn’t type at all with it. Even the local pharmacist said she’d never seen a reaction like it before. It felt as though someone had actually microwaved my hand!

In (possibly) 2008 some of the Scottish Rampants attended the Scotland v England game at the Grange. The weather was utterly miserable! Admittedly there was little chance of sunstroke but we sat huddled together under umbrellas for a large portion of the game, until it got so bad they eventually called it off! We traipsed up town in search of a suitable pub to dry off in, so I guess it wasn’t all bad...

Then in 2009 I managed to snag a couple of freebie tickets to a Scotland v Warwickshire game, again I think it was a 40 over match. My sister accompanied me, initially quite keen (the word ‘free’ might have had something to do with it). Unfortunately she has the attention span of an earwig and soon got bored. Despite the fact that I was trying out my new camera’s super-zoom (the one that broke at the Oval last year) and was happily snapping away at Mr Clarke and Mr Troughton amongst others, she decided the beer-fuelled antics of the drunken Brummies behind us were too much and we left early. The moment we left, one of the aforementioned beered-up supporters ran on to the field and stole one of the bails...

So, you see, it’s all go at the Grange! I’m really looking forward to going this year, hopefully with one or two of the Rampants as well. Fingers crossed it won’t end in burning/drowning/daylight thievery!

Dignity at all times

Well, that mountain on Mars I mentioned proved impossible for Surrey to climb, as anticipated. I would have liked a little more fight from the boys as a unit, even if a frisky Middlesex did bowl very nicely, but at least Steven Davies proved it was possible to play a well-measured innings in the face of adversity. Still, given that Maynard found himself stabbed in the back by lady luck in the first innings you kind of knew that Davies wasn’t quite going to reach his century. And sure enough he fell just short, another cruel victim of the nasty nineties.

Well played Middlesex. My teeth are gritted, but congrats all the same. They were the only team that deserved to win when all was said and done.

What bugs me more than the result – which was disappointing given the amount of talent out there for Surrey – is that the pitchfork waving doom mongers will be out in force calling for Chris Adams’ head on a platter yet again. It’s getting a little old. Surrey need to rediscover some backbone as a team and, if I may be so bold as to venture, the supporters need to do exactly the same. Losing in such a humiliating manner is never nice but if we do, a degree of dignity goes an awful long way...

Anyhow, that’s the bad stuff out the way. The slightly more hopeful news is that Mr Ramprakash, he of the 113 first class centuries and slightly dodgy knee is playing for the Surrey 2nds tomorrow! South London prayers will no doubt be said for the continuation of his rapid recovery from injury and that the 40 over game will not aggravate the problem at all. Should all go well he may find himself in line for the Leicestershire game in a week’s time, which would be terrific news all round! The Rampants are rather excited at the prospect, and I imagine all the Surrey supporters are too! I guess they are all hoping that he brings with him not only all his skill, elegance and experience but that most vital ingredient in cricket: a little bit of luck!

Swings and roundabouts

Surrey v Northants day 3

I may have to cut this report a tad short. I’m informed there’s a rogue wasp loose in the house.

Whilst I’m not as phobic as my sister when it comes to the nasty, striped, pointy ended barstewards (I don’t tend to turn into gibbering, high-pitched version of Beaker from the Muppets, arms flailing like a human windmill) I can’t say they’re my favourite things in the world. And the fact there’s one hiding in a corner somewhere waiting to get me is making me distinctly nervous.

Anyway, the story so far.

You will recall that the ping-pong like nature of yesterday’s play had meant that both Surrey and Northants appeared to have periods when each side got their snouts in front. Well, the same thing happened today with perplexing regularity. I’m still confused as to where this one is heading. An awful lot is going to depend on how long de Bruyn (or Reg) sticks around in the morning and how quickly he scores. It’s going to be a tricky balancing act; take too long and the game will dwindle to a draw. Undercook it and suddenly Northants will be chasing down that target like an avenging angel...

Middlebrook proved himself utterly obdurate in the face of reasonably decent Surrey bowling; probably now earning the title of the tail ender you would least like to face at the death. It took an absolute age to shift Hall courtesy of Gareth Batty, and by then the worst of the damage had been done. The Surrey lead was whittled down, then equalled, and then surpassed with rapidity. And just when you expected the next two to capitulate, both Lucas and Daggett refused to fall on their swords! Lucas did eventually go, and then finally Middlebrook (who had reached a well deserved century en route) succumbed for 103 just a few balls before lunch.

Hats off to them for making this game an interesting one if nothing else.

The opening partnership of Brown and Wilson finally had the chance to show what they could do by way of reply, and I think it potentially could be a good one for Surrey long-term. Brown put a relatively good total on the board before perishing for 46, but at least he will take a small amount of satisfaction with the way he batted. Wilson too got into the forties before being undone by a rather wicked googly. Are you seeing a pattern here? Remember the case of thirty-itus that struck down the batsmen on day one? Well, with the exception of Davies who sadly managed only a score of 11 in the second innings, each wicket that fell went in the forties (the skipper making 41). If de Bruyn makes 45 tomorrow or thereabouts you’ll know somebody has hexed us...

So, there you have it. The old cliché about the game being ‘delicately poised’ was never more true than in this instance. Surrey still have batting to come, but if things get sticky and de Bruyn falls cheaply you’d have to fancy Northants for the win, as the total they would be chasing probably wouldn’t be nearly enough. A score of 260 or thereabouts might at least give Surrey a chance of bowling Northants out, or at the least securing a draw, but anything less and it’s probably ‘Goodnight Vienna!’

With its many twists and turns, Deirdre would have loved this game! But I can’t help but feel she’d have loved it more were it to twist in Surrey’s favour!

Congratulations and general back-slapping

...to Chris Tremlett and Steven Davies on making the Ashes touring party, and to Jade Dernbach on his place in the Lions team. I know that this is a couple of weeks too late but to be honest I've been soo tired and a little bit aimless since the end of the season that I really couldn't be bothered blogging anything. All the same, it's lovely to see these guys getting the recognition they deserve.

Talking of recognition, Tremlett also won the players award at the annual Surrey end of season do. Totally agree with the decision! He's had a wonderful season for the club. Same goes for Ramps, who picked up three awards: best batsman, fitness award and supporter's award. How do you measure fitness, though? Do they stick the players on a tredmill and see who's the last one to drop?

Nevermind. The Rampants have always thought he was pretty fit!

End of season blues

So, there we have it. Another county championship ends; heralding the true start of autumn. Now all I have to look forward to are increasingly dark days, overuse of my SAD lamp and the inexorable slithering towards the festive period. There’s always the horse racing, I suppose, and the prospect of watching Ann Widdecombe being manhandled around the Strictly Come Dancing studio floor by an exasperated Anton Du Bec! Whose body will give out first, I wonder?

And please, if they get to Samba week, no pink tail-feathers on AW’s costume. I don’t think my mind could take it...

It was lovely to see Surrey sign off with a win, and in such dramatic fashion! They do seem adept at these random last-gasp rescues! That amazingly tense finish to the 2007 championship against Lancashire will live with me forever. I was so pleased to witness it, even although there was a part of me that felt very sad for Lancs. Then that amazing game last year against Middlesex on a very cold day in May 2009, where they turned almost certain defeat into an incredible draw at the last moment. Run-outs, stumpings, you name it: Surrey pulled it out the bag! If I had a favourite piece of commentary by Mark Church it would most likely be this one.

There have been some tight games since but the defeat of Gloucestershire by 10 runs, thanks at the end to an inspired Jade Dernbach who took two wickets in two balls, ranks alongside them. Well played Surrey! I have to say I thought the declaration a tad generous, but it proves what most people no doubt think: when it comes to cricket I know absolutely nothing!

There have been highs and lows throughout the season, most of which I have documented. The highs were so huge they had snow covering them: the glorious 40 over world record against Glamorgan, Ramps’ imperious 1st innings double century & 2nd innings century (although I still think they should have stuck the team in again), Andre Nel’s bravery doing his best on one leg...it takes a skilled man to hop round the wicket and bowl! There have been many others too, such as Jason Roy becoming the first Surrey man in history to score 100 in a T20 game.

And there have been massive lows, too; many of which were just too depressing to name! It was sad to see Michael Brown unable to bat at all this year due to injury/rehabilitation/surgery. His top order stability was much missed this season, and it must have been desperately frustrating for the poor man to sit on the sidelines and watch as his team struggled at times. It was also sad to see Usman Afzaal being released by the club, although the writing appeared to be on the wall for a good few months.

The undoubted successes of the year were Steven Davies and in particular Chris Tremlett. Considering Tremlett had a reputation for disintegrating if you so much as sneezed a mile downwind in his direction, the boy done good! In fact I’d be surprised if he didn’t get Surrey player of the year to be honest, sad as it is for Ramps not to win it for the umpteenth time.

Talking of the great man, he managed to finish top batsmen for Surrey by some distance. He also managed to be top run scorer in both divisions (a fact that seems to have gone remarkably unreported), although Hildreth topped the averages this year. Whilst not a vintage Ramprakash season by his own standards, nigh on 1600 runs and five centuries including two doubles isn’t to be sneezed at for a spritely 41 year old.

The highlight of my London trip was watching him bat. Sure, it would have been nice to witness him get a half century but just to be able to see the way he went about composing an innings, taking his time to start with and getting himself in before slowly going through the gears, was a real treat for me. I’d heard it oft described, and finally I managed to see it for myself. Fingers crossed he’s back next year for one last hurrah! I guess he doesn’t really owe Surrey any favours but I do hope he sees his contract out next year. I have the feeling the club still desperately needs his experience.

And if he chooses not to, well, how to you go about replacing the irreplaceable? I think Chris Adams already knows the answer to that one. Quite simply: you can’t.

So, Surrey end the season with a touch of deja vu. They end third from bottom, like last year, although with three more games won than last time. Progress of sorts, most certainly. If they had taken the chances that had come their way, or converted those narrow defeats into victories, they may have challenged for promotion at the end. But the team as a whole is still green, still learning their trade, with much still to do before they can climb the Division 2 ladder. However, from a Surrey point of view at least the club can take one positive from the season...

They finished above Middlesex again.

It takes a wolf to savage a fox...

It was a tale of two batsmen today. And, thankfully from the Rampants point of view, one of them was the maestro!

It must have looked a bit dodgy in the first half of the day. Having been stuck in by a Leicestershire side, whose off field antics had already garnered headlines prior to the match, Surrey lost both openers Harinath and Lancefield within four balls. You have to admit, 11-2 isn’t the greatest of starts, and no doubt caused hearts to sink once more amongst the Surrey support.

The skipper came in and played his usual game. I know there’s been criticism in certain quarters regarding RHB's ability to grind out a huge innings and certainly today will again have given grist for the mill, but at least his 36 from 37 balls gave Surrey some much needed impetus whilst Ramps quietly went about his business at the other end. It sounds as if Nathan Buck put in a really good display with the ball at the start for Leicestershire, but as Surrey headed towards lunch both Davies and Ramps seemed to be weathering the storm. Shortly after lunch however, it appears that Surrey surprisingly lost Davies for 19. I say surprisingly because very often this season he has proven to be one of the anchors when things have gone wrong in the batting ranks.

With young Jason Roy padded up and waiting, if required, to make his first class championship debut, Gary Wilson (who seems for good or ill to be saddled with ‘chirpy’ before his surname to the extent where people will believe this is actually his name) took to the field and immediately set about rebuilding with Ramprakash, to great effect. Wilson had a very fine innings earlier in the season against Middlesex and grabbed the opportunity he’d been given by Chris Adams with both hands. He’s certainly proved himself as a middle order batsman this year, and it will be interesting to see whether he manages to sneak into the team for the remaining games of the season. I think given his performance so far in this outing you could safely say he’d earned it.

His previous best was surpassed today by some distance, and at stumps he was just six short of a maiden first class century. It’s not ideal going into the next day, and I’m sure even a super-confident man such as Wilson will experience the odd jangling nerve tonight. Still, it will certainly be worth the wait if he gets there tomorrow! And of course, the ever remarkable Ramprakash remains, as lean and hungry as a wolf stalking its prey, with twenty three more runs required to make his own piece of batting history. Should he convert his 179no overnight to 200, he will become the county’s leading scorer of double tons, clearing Jack Hobbs tally. I’m sure the Master won’t mind if the modern Maestro sneaks past him: Hobbs has more than enough incredible records of his own, most of which will never be surpassed.

If Ramps and Wilson stick in and bat as they did today, Leicestershire could very well be looking heavenward for salvation tomorrow and praying that the reported heavy rain intervenes on their behalf!

Iron, like a Lion in...Wormsley! (Sorry, Mr. Marley)

Today the Lions finally went head to head with the Unicorns! It sounded suitably mystical. I dare say the players emerged from the back of a magical wardrobe wearing antlers and goat skins...

No Churchy, though, although he did a sterling job keeping us up to date via Twitter. I guess it must have made quite a nice day, relaxing and watching the cricket, without having to deal with all the technicals that are part of the job. Wormsley looks a rather pretty little ground from the pictures I’ve seen, but I think the lack of tech capability was the reason there was no commentary. There were a number of disappointed Rampants, who find that Churchy helps to get us through the mundane things in life, such as ironing! Still, I think that’s a good excuse to put the ironing to one side!

It may come as an interesting sidenote to remark that the Lion is the symbol of England, and the Unicorn the symbol of Scotland. This being the case, it came as no surprise to see the Lions beating up the Unicorns again. Albeit in a slightly more genteel manner!

It turned out to be a fairly facile win in the end for Surrey. The powerhouse combo of RHB and Steven Davies got the game off to a flyer, with the skipper posting a frisky 52 and Davies a magnificent 101. It was also great to hear that Walters achieved a very handy 78. Jason Roy managed 8 today and whilst he clearly has a huge future ahead of him, he’s still learning on the job, so to speak. I think we have to forgive him any low scores at this stage in his career. Spriegel made a cameo of 4 towards the end, with Ramps contributing a small but nonetheless welcome 7 not out. With 273-4 posted it was always going to be a steep mountain for the Unicorns to climb.

I have to admit that the only players I knew from the Unicorns team were former Surrey team mates Murtagh and Saker! I think I may vaguely recollect Knappet from some place, but I couldn’t swear to it. And for all that the Unicorns are a weaker side in general, if it acts as a shop window for some of their players then their being in the competition is a worthy endeavour. It was lovely to see that Saker made 40 not out today, but ultimately it was in a losing cause as the Unicorns made 207-8.

The win keeps Surrey in third place. Somerset are still in control of the group despite being beaten by second placed Sussex on D/L. I have to confess to being a bit of a Somerset fan on the quiet. In the same way that Surrey had, for so long, forgotten how to win Somerset are a team bursting with quality and confidence. Any losses are usually swept to one side, and the behemoth trundles onwards. One day, hopefully, Surrey will regain that winning feeling.

On a slightly different tack, it’s amazing to see how cricket seems to crop up in so many different places. Being a bit of a closet Dr Who fan, I heard this rather amusing dialog from one of the audio dramas, where the Doctor discovers the Earth has inexplicably become perfect, with not a single disaster, man made or otherwise, to blight its newfound serenity:

"Where are the political scandals? Disasters? Binge-drinking celebrities all over the front page? Can't you see, it's all good news! As for the sports pages...Graeme Swann...100 not out?!?"

You know you’ve made it when you get mentioned in Doctor Who!

Let's do the time warp again...

I almost wish it had rained now!

Don’t ask me about the run-out: I don’t know what happened! It’s all very well an oaf like me growling at Lancefield and picturing him batting in a big pointy hat with a ‘D’ on it, but I can’t pass judgement on something I never saw or heard. Bottom line is that Ramps was out for 20, although he seems to have struck one 4 and two 6s prior to his dismissal, so he seemed pretty much up for it today. All I do know is that judging by the reaction of others, the finger of guilt initially pointed at Lancefield. But I shan’t sulk. I will do the adult thing and watch the footage before I jump up and down, swear at the cat or chew the carpet in anguish.

Definitely Worcestershire’s game today. It wasn’t actually going too bad for Surrey in places, judging by the score card. Sure, Ramps’ dismissal would have caused a few momentary twitches in the Surrey ranks, especially as shortly afterwards the skipper once more failed to make it into double figures, poor fellow! Harinath earlier had accumulated 8 runs, so with only 73 on the board for a total of 3 wickets Worcestershire would have been licking their lips in the same wolfish manner Surrey had the day previously.

But Lancefield, if he did have any hand in the Ramprakash run-out, certainly made up for it by scoring a very handsome 74. Well, sort of made up for it. A hair shirt and some self-flagellation with a cricket bat might go some way towards making amends. Yet again Davies, back to his best now dropped down the order, chipped in with a much needed 68.

Surrey’s problems really started when Davies and Walters (21) went in rapid succession with 213 on the board. Even then you would have fancied Surrey’s chances of at least equalling the Worcestershire total, despite Spriegel’s departure for 4. Gareth Batty looked very solid and steady, weathering the storm along with Tremlett until a very clever, tricksy piece of bowling by Mason saw him bowled for 30. Within the same over Tremlett also fell for 10, leaving the Surrey tail to try to tough it out. Both Meaker and Dernbach can bat, especially Meaker, but on this occasion it wasn’t to be, with Meaker out for 1, leaving Dernbach not out on 0. The run chase had faltered in dramatic fashion leaving them 49 runs behind. They've been great this season, they've been awful this season, but today was like being stuck in some kind of circa 2008 Surrey timewarp!

Don't let Ceci see this. She'll photoshop Gareth Batty and Chris Tremlett in basques and suspenders, a la Rocky Horror. And probably Ramps in a french maid's outfit just for the hell of it!

There doesn’t seem to be anything wrong with the pitch; merely that the batsmen haven’t managed by-and-large to get their heads down. Lancefield was the closest for Surrey, although I bet Ramps will be irritated at a missed opportunity to score big and stretch a lead over Adam Lyth in terms of runs scored in the championship. Surrey could have done with a classy knock from the great man today, especially seeing as how Worcestershire closed on 13 not out.

Add that to the score difference of 49, and you are effectively looking at 62 not out in the second innings! Surrey are going to find it difficult to win this one from here. Let’s hope they can bat out for a draw, because the closer Worcestershire get towards 300-350, the more likely it is that Surrey will be returning to base camp to lick their wounds once more.

And I don’t think I could stand the whinging on the internet forums again...

ETA: Have viewed the run-out...hmm. Not sure. Did Lancefield run Ramps out? Is the person who makes the call to blame? Or did Sir not move quickly enough? Tight single there, but the umpire's decision is final (although he took his time deciding)! I don't think the hairshirt should be called for. Unfortunate though.

The 40 over world record...in 38 overs!

It’s CB40 time and today...we’re playing Glamorgan again!

Not a complaint. I look forward to the Surrey v Glamorgan battles! But there’s a really odd phenomena here. Even although Surrey will play Glamorgan the same amount of times as every other team in this stage of the contest, it just feels like we do nothing but play Glamorgan! I’m not sure how this has come about, or why my brain has conditioned itself to feel this way. I think there must be some Dr Who-style technobabblesque explanation for this phenomena...some rift in the space time continueum.

I think it’s because last year’s RAGM was the end of season game against...Glamorgan. And this year’s RAGM? Yep, got it in one! Glamorgan again! I think it’s the Cosgrove effect: everything is being drawn away from their natural orbits and being pulled towards him. He’s going to wind up being the centre of an entire galaxy at this rate! Even I couldn’t resist his pull after seeing him last year. I’ve come to the conclusion that Mr Cosgrove and Glamorgan occupy a very special place in our hearts.

Of course, that doesn’t mean we want them to win!

***************

I’m trying to multi-task here. I’m watching Masterchef, drying my hair, and listening to the commentary. It’s proving very difficult, even although as a woman I think it’s meant to happen naturally. John Terrode is currently trying to de-bone a fish, Churchy and Johnny Barran are valiantly trying to fill in during a rain break, and I’ve just noticed that my hair has split ends. At this rate I may end up filleting my locks...

The state of play at the time of typing this is that Surrey have just created a 40 over world record to go along with the 50 over one already in the bag from a few years previously.

Oooh – breaking news. 8.30pm restart. 227 for Glamorgan to win, with 20 overs to get it.

How fab! We may yet have a game!

It was looking dodgy for a while, and what a pity it would have been if there was no more play after the amazing Surrey display earlier today! TV were there to record the epic total, which pleases me because they aren’t exactly the most pro-Surrey persons on the planet. Criticism is fine if deserved, and Surrey have put in performances that have deserved censure over the last few years, but there does seem to be an element of enjoyment from certain quarters whenever they do badly. I’m sure today will have put a smile on their faces. He he he...

I missed the start of the game, but I guessed I would. I got in at ten minutes to four, greeted by my dad with a “I see your game was delayed”. Given the weather report that didn’t surprise me, so I took my time getting changed, switching on the PC, only to find out that the game had resumed some five minutes previously, and Surrey had already passed the 20-0 mark!

They never really looked back. It was a barrage of constant boundaries, with RHB making a fabulous if slightly chancy at times 115 – his first hundred in 40 over cricket – and Davies with a regal 88. Walters, coming in at three, hit it around for a while and made a rapid 18 until Waters (yes, very confusing surname clash there) had him caught and bowled. Then enter stage left the master, with Ramps going through every available gear, starting slowly, then putting his foot on the accelerator at the end, all the while purring like the engine of a Rolls Royce and making a fabulous 85 (which I missed because I had a chicken casserole to deal with). At the other end Spriegel made a resolute 56. It never ceases to amaze me how well Spriegel and Ramps bat together. If Bodie and Doyle could play cricket, that’s who these two professionals would be!

Just when we were celebrating the new 40 over record, the heavens opened and left the Oval a little soggy looking. Churchy's filling in valiantly (it always amazes me how he manages to make rain breaks fun), and I loved Johnny Barrans assertion that the boiling sky above the Oval was reminiscent of the end 10 mins in Ghostbusters! I hope that doesn't make Cosgrove Mr Stay Puft! No doubt Sky's contingent will be fretting as to whether they will get back out for the rest of the game.

Cosgrove managed to get hit on the toe whilst he was batting, but it didn’t stop him! Next time, I suggest Surrey aim a little higher up...

Before resumption Croft was out for two. An awful lot depends on whether Surrey can get Maynard out: if they do they should have a total that will see them home.

If Surrey get Maynard out...

*******************


I just finished typing the word ‘Maynard’ and lo! He was gone!

Really all down to Cosgrove now for Glamorgan.

I’m trying to drink tea, but I’m getting menaced by one of those little black flies you get in pot plants. It’s trying to drown itself, and I should think the way poor Jason Roy is fielding at the moment he will be trying to follow suit. He’s usually one of the best fielders around but he’s put down three chances in as many minutes. Maybe the lights are playing tricks on him.

Oh – Brown gone now!

So has Colin Jackson in Masterchef. I am not happy: I like Colin. Hmmmph!

**********

There’s a very interesting program on BBC 2 about Normans in Britain. I love history, but just to show my devotion I am sticking with the cricket.

Churchy has just said that Cosgrove is still “swinging like a rusty gate”. I’d hate to see the hinges on him...

Cosgrove has just launched the bat – literally! It’s going flying!

Oh, and now Cosgrove has gone for 88! Well caught Dernbach!

************

It was inevitable despite the gutsy (not referring to Cosgrove here) fight back from Glamorgan that Surrey were going to win this. In the end the target was just too big, and they triumphed by 39 runs. Dalrymple was still there at the end, but the moment Cosgrove went any tiny chance they had of chasing the total evaporated. The victory leaves Surrey in second spot, facing the might of Sussex in a few days time at Guildford. Who knows which way the game will go: Surrey can justifiably be proud of their performances in this contest over all, but the consistency isn’t perhaps there yet, something Sussex will be hoping to exploit.
All the same, a team that boasts a world record is hardly one who will be scared to take on anyone! In many ways the unpredictability just adds to the excitement!

Stylish Styris sneaks it

 
So near and yet so far!!! Ugh! How frustrating to fall at the very last hurdle!!!

And yet, whilst we are muttering disconsolately and kicking inanimate objects (I refuse to kick either of my cats) let us not forget the brilliant batting of Mr Styris, who snatched the game away from under Surrey’s noses in the final over. And it wasn’t all doom and gloom. I personally didn’t feel the same deflation as I did against Sussex, even although the result serves to widen the contest even further in the Southern group. There is a huddle of teams on the same amount of points, the Lions being one of them, all bunching up for a crack at qualification. A win would have put Surrey in a mighty fine position but as it stands they aren’t dead in the water. Best not to send for the undertakers just yet: there’s still life in this competition!

Essex won the toss (a bad sign if ever there was one) and to many people’s surprise stuck Surrey in first. We all waited to find out if the skipper was going to have one of his Blitzkrieg days or whether he was going to fall for less than double figures, and as it transpired he went for 7. It’s a real pity, because talented or otherwise, if RHB was playing in the capacity of a regular player rather than a captain he might well have found his place in the team coming under scrutiny. That’s not me being harsh, as I have pretty much been in the Chris Adams camp since he came onboard with Surrey. It is true though that Rory’s position does to a degree protect him. Next time out he’ll no doubt be back to blasting quick fire 50s, so it would be wrong to harp on about any blips in form. Every batsman has those.

Fortunately, Davies once again kicked on. I’m a fan of the talented Davies, and I’m even more of a fan of the resilient ‘stick-around-and-bat-long’ attitude he’s taken of late. Jason Roy, having been the hero of a few days ago, was once more batting at three. I think in T20 there’s nothing wrong with him having the third spot, although hopefully it will take the devil and a stick of dynamite to shift Ramps from that position in the championship. Talking of Mr R, he made a much welcome return to the squad in fourth spot in place of Younus Khan, something I had advocated previously. I’m pretty certain my pleas on this blog had zero to do with the team selection, mind you!

Jason Roy certainly showed some very deft shots but it was always going to be difficult to replicate his immense innings of the previous game and Kaneria, who had a very good spell with the ball, eventually had him stumped him for 29 by Foster. Davies contributed a magnificent 89, just when everyone thought there may well be another Surrey centurion in the offing, whilst Ramps made a useful 35 before being stumped by Foster. The only other batsman to put any useful total on the board was Symonds with 17. Batty made yet another T20 duck, whilst Schoey (1) and Walters (7) were both not out at the end but had run out of overs to really add anything worthwhile to the final tally of 187.

187 isn’t a bad score, but whether it was because in the last few games Surrey have posted over 200 and we have suddenly come to expect it, somehow 187 didn’t feel as if it might be enough. And so it actually proved. Had they managed 200 things might have been very different, although much credit has to be given to Essex at the end of their bowling spell. They were in real danger of being trampled by the Lion’s charge and they managed to get right back into it at the death. Between you and me however, we managed to pinpoint the source of the problem as Jean admitted that when Ramps was batting she got up to put the kettle on. The curse of the Rampants strikes again! And just to further prove the jinx exists, Jean further admitted culpability with “I got Batty as well...went for some food...I hang my head!”

Sorry Ramps. Sorry GB. It was Jean wot did for you!

Before the start of the Essex reply those Rampants with access to Sky (who are pointedly reminding we satellite-less peasants that they can see everything we can’t!) informed us that Mr R had not only taken the ball from the umpires and had marked out his run-up, but was shaping up as if he was going to have a bowl! Even with a few test wickets to his name it seemed unlikely, and judging by the grin on his face it must have surprised a few of the Essex team before Tremlett walked up to the plate! Nice joke, sir!

The Surrey fielding was by and large pretty sharp today. When I think back to the awful, ghastly mess of two years back it’s like chalk and cheese. I know there are one or two people who aren’t the biggest fans of Chris Adams but if he has done one immensely important thing it’s to get the team to remember how to pick up and throw the ball! Early success occurred for the Lions when Cook went for 11, and ten balls later Ramps caught Walker for just 1 run. Bopara eventually played a really silly shot at exactly the wrong time and went for 27, at which point Surrey must have thought it was going to be a walk in the park. I’m pretty sure even the most vociferous of Essex supporters, whose raucous yelling and screeching made me wonder if I was being transported back two centuries to a fight in a bear pit, must have thought it could well be curtains for their team.

I even ventured to say that we might be possibly on for a win. Big, big mistake.

If I say that getting Philips out on 30 near the end made little difference you will get an idea of the superhuman effort by Styris. What an incredible piece of batting! He was very nearly caught at the end which would have turned the tables on Essex, but the momentum was very strongly with them in the latter part of the game. There was one massive over where he took twenty plus off a Tremlett over, which was not only a shame from a Surrey point of view but a real pity for Tremlett, who had done a magnificent job with the ball up to that point. You don’t see many maiden overs in T20 but that is exactly what happened earlier. The fact that Essex came back the way they did shows you precisely how massive Styris was.

I actually switched the sound down. It’s not that I didn’t want to hear Churchy or Johnny Barran but, ever the optimist, I was still fairly confident that Surrey would somehow scramble home in that last over. And if they didn’t I wasn’t looking forward to hearing all the braying fans filling up the ground in Chelmsford. Good lord, they really are loud!

I’m pretty glad I switched it off, given the result.

Oh well. Styris’ knock was pretty special, and it took a monumental effort from one man to stop Surrey from winning. I’m not sure Symonds was the right choice to bowl the last over to be honest, but that doesn’t detract from a very fine performance from both teams and from Styris in particular, who navigated the enormous run rate to finely timed perfection with a barrage of boundaries and sixes.

Maybe we should have let Ramps have a bowl after all!

Jason Roy: The Lion King

201-4.

You have to agree, that looks a lot healthier than the scores in the first two Surrey games! I'm reminded of the Pink Panther films at this point, with Inspector Dreyfuss repeatedly chanting "every day and in every way, I'm getting better and better." Of course, the character went completely round the twist, but it could nonetheless be Surrey's new motto. The team's bowling has on the whole been really good this T20, whilst the batting has been (literally) a bit hit and miss. But there are green shoots of recovery beginning to sprout in the batting department - specifically in the form of Jason Roy.

There are still some problem areas, but then I guess nobody's perfect. The skipper does only seem to have one way of playing: eyes shut and at full throttle. Sometimes it works and takes the game away from the opposition very quickly. Sometimes, like today, he gets out for 6 playing a very silly shot. Fortunately, in the last few games one of the biggest plus points is that when one opener goes for a low score the other now kicks on. In my opinion this is the real difference in the considereably larger Surrey totals of late. Of course, it helps to win the toss as well, like today!

Jason Roy threatened to show his potential last night: today he did just that. 101 not out, and only 19 years of age! Today must have been very special for him, and if you were to take away his 101, the score looks ever so slightly poor! That's not to say that there weren't contributions from others: Davies once again posted a worthy score, falling 8 short of a half century. And Symonds also contributed at exactly the right time, chipping in with 31 before being caught and bowled.

If Surrey have a tiny weak link in the batting at the moment I would hesitate to suggest it might be Younus Khan. Apart from sharing in the winning stand with Ramps a few weeks back, he hasn't really contributed consistantly with the bat. He is a classy player, no mistake, but he doesn't really seem to have clicked. I am a touch biased, but I would be tempted to bring Ramps back in the side and replace Younus with him, unless of course Mr R is carrying some kind of injury we haven't been told about.

Walters was 2 not out at the end, but Jason Roy had already taken Kent to the cleaners.

In reply Kent got off to the worst possible start. Rob Key, the pink faced cherub of county cricket, went for a duck. Then to make matters worse Geraint Jones fell for 5 shortly afterwards, and gun man Stevens made only 7. My old favourite Azhar Mahmood put on a bit of a charge, finding the boundary regularly before chancing his hand too many times, being caught by Schofield for 34.

Whilst Van Jaarsveld remained in there was always a chance, but poor Blake managed to get stuck on strike an awful lot and a flurry of dot balls resulted, breaking the rhythm of the Kent innings. Single handedly Van Jaarsveld kept the game alight, a mark of a great batsman if ever there was one. But finally he went for 82, and when Blake followed shortly afterwards for 14 it was pretty much game over. Tredwell contributed 6 but went in the last over, and Coles was stumped off the last ball of the game, also for 6. Northeast was the man not out on 5 at the end, but it didn't matter as the game resulted in an emphatic victory for Surrey in what was possibly their best T20 game so far in the contest.

Symonds picked up a fivefer in the bowling stakes, but the day belonged fully to Jason Roy: first Surrey batsman to make a T20 hundred! I hope we see lots more of him in the T20. Something tells me we will! Although I'm worried this means Ramps is going to be totally sidelined from the team, which would sadden me greatly.

Lions find their roar!

Another win for Surrey! And, apart from the odd mistake here and there, it was a very accomplished win.

Ramps was given time off for good behaviour, and young Jason Roy stepped into a very large pair of shoes indeed. Thankfully, from what we have seen of him it looks like he can do a job for Surrey, and I wouldn’t complain of seeing Roy come into the middle order again. Could he be one to step in to Afzaal’s shoes now that Usman seems to have fallen very firmly out of favour? I’m not just talking T20 here but the championship as well, or would that be too much too soon? Whatever, I find the prospect of a RHB/Davies/Ramps/Roy/Symonds line-up a very interesting one if they all fire at the same time!

I realise I write rather boring match reports so I thought I’d give you a potted version (this is laziness on my part, and also because I have tired eyes (not to mention a pulled muscle where a person ideally shouldn’t have one). So, here goes.

Surrey win toss, bat first. Davies goes ballistic. Lots of crash, bash, wallop (not talking happy slapping here btw). RHB joins in. Davies still going ballistic. RHB goes for ten, the naughty boy!

Davies still swinging the bat. I blink, refresh the BBC page to check, he’s on 60 from 25 balls! He’s looking good, says Churchy! Then he’s gone. Curse of commentator strikes again!

Roy comes in next. We’re sniffling into our hankies coz it’s not Ramps. Roy looking mighty fine, says Churchy! Ooops – Roy goes for a brief but appealing knock of 12 from 11 balls.

Stewie Walters comes in. Makes 7. Goes off again.

Younus creeping about, getting on with his business. The fact I hardly realise he’s there whilst he accumulates his 21 shows how much Symonds commands the attention.

Symonds is in ‘Kerplunk’ mode again: you make a wrong move and he’ll have your balls.

There’s a total of 5 fours and 3 sixes. The crowd are very happy that they’ve got to see the version of Symonds that would sooner eat a child for breakfast with some Fava beans than sign a few mini bats after the game.

I can’t tell you what happened to Symonds to bring his innings to an end on 63. It involved a run out of some description, but I was downstairs tucking into salad so I don’t know who was to blame. I’ll blame the Lionesses for being too distracting whilst flashing their pompoms.

Now, where were we? Ah, yes.

Schoey: run out for 3.

Batty: bowled for 3.

Spriegel and Nel not out on 1 & 6 respectively.

There, that was nice and abridged!

And now the Hampshire innings:


We won! What does it matter?!? Yippeeeeee!

In seriousness, a good game by two teams who tried their hardest. That no-ball from Nel at the end had my heart in my mouth! It’s good to see the teams able to tackle games head on, without the likes of Ramps and Dernbach in their side. Davies finally made the powerful and explosive innings we know that he can. The skipper actually won a toss (he’s a bit like Mark Butcher in this respect: the pair of them are useless tossers – in a non vulgar way), the squad will go into tomorrow’s game with some fire in their bellies, and to cap off a very fine if sadly Rampsless day, we had this brilliant piece of commentary from Mark Church regarding a somewhat dubious piece of fielding from Hampshire’s Dominic Cork:

"What an embarrassing moment...it’s a pity TV aren't here!"

Crash, Bang...Whimper! We've won!

Do you know what? That game was weird!!!

No crash, no bang, and only the merest hint of wallop. This was the T20 game that felt like an old fashioned Pro 40 match, albeit one with its legs cut off. The atmosphere was a little bit muted despite the fact the Pantherettes and the Lionesses were high kicking and flashing gussets with the best of them. Actually, I wondered if at any point we were going to be in for a catfight, but alas it was all rather civilised. A pity, really. I think the crowd would have paid good money just to see that!

Of course, the main reason for the somewhat stilted atmosphere was the fact that Surrey managed to trounce Middlesex at Lords, and the home crowd probably hadn’t banked upon that given both teams recent form. With Middlesex coming off the back of two straight wins, and Surrey with one win and a narrow loss in their previous encounters, form tended to suggest the Oval posse would have their work cut out. Ever since Gilchrist took over the reins Middlesex has been resurgent and it has to be said a mighty fine team to boot.

I missed the first three wickets on account of having to tackle a mountain of dishes rising up, Godzilla like, from the sink. So it was with considerable relief that I discovered Warner had gone for 15, Dexter for 14 and Gilchrist for 12! It seemed as if Surrey’s bowling was back to where it was when systematically dismantling Somerset a few games back. However, I did come back just in time to hear Malan falling for 2. There was considerable Rampant excitement at that point amongst the Surrey supporting contingent. Being a superstitious sort of person, and remembering how well it had worked previously, I thought perhaps I might try my hand at begging for some more wickets...

Scott Newman? Check! Gone for a quacker.

And then this little piece of Miah-style witchyness:

“Please Lord...can we get rid of Berg now? What chance a run-out with Shah later on?”

Followed shortly by Berg being run-out by...Shah.

Okay, I’m blowing my own vuvuzela here (at the risk of sounding vulgar!) but I’m beginning to get a reputation as a first class hexer! Not really in the spirit of the game, methinks, but to be honest most people could have seen that coming without relying on the almighty for divine intervention. Shah does have some previous where his running – or lack of – between the wickets is concerned.

Oh, and then I (or rather Gareth Batty) got Smith out for 2. I have to say my figures were very good today! Three wickets for 18 runs! Well done me!

On a more serious note the rest of the innings followed with Udal going for a duck, Murtagh for 6 and Pedro Collins managing to hang on in dogged – and exhausted – fashion for a noble 2 not out, with Shah holding the Middlesex innings together with 44. I have to say I was disappointed he didn’t run himself out. This also isn’t in the spirit of the game but I was feeling a bit bloodthirsty for a Surrey win at this point, especially one against their arch rivals!

I always think saying ‘arch rivals’ makes the opposition sound like Davros in Dr Who or some such. Some fiendish nemesis that just won’t lie down and die no matter how many times you take it on. However, unless Middlesex swap their candyfloss shirts for black leather and mobility scooters that’s probably where the Davros comparison ends. And, given the slightly tame innings from the boys in pink, with Shah turning down singles repeatedly just to keep himself on strike (the right thing to do as it turned out), mobility scooters probably were the order of the day for a squad that were simply not at their best. It seems that Gilchrist has assumed a Rampresque status, in that if you get him early the rest of the team suddenly seem to be left scratching their heads, trying to remember exactly what to do!

128 for 9 wasn’t an especially good score. Middlesex knew it, the crowd knew it and Surrey knew it was well. Yet for all that it looked a fairly easy target, Surrey’s ability to chase down scores of any description is somewhat dubious. With that in mind the two openers went at a steady pace rather than going at it all harum skarum, with the skipper looking especially as if he were setting his stall out for the evening. The opening two had perhaps less pressure on them than in previous games and looked very comfy, although Davies again managed to get out when just into the 20s.

The Gareth Batty experiment with the third position, which again sounds a little naughtier than it probably should for a plain old match report, has now stopped, thankfully. Pinch hitting is a good idea, but it helps if you hit in the first place! Normal service was resumed and Mr Ramprakash came to the crease at his former ground, which is usually good news for Surrey. I think he averages something like four hundred and twenty against Middlesex in all forms of the game?

As it happens there were no big alarms at all. RHB played a lovely, confident captain’s innings and Ramps just kept ticking merrily along at the other end, with the runs being hoovered up at a consistent pace. It became quite clear from some way out that even given Surrey’s ability to collapse, wickets weren’t going to fall in time to prevent a Surrey win. And so it proved, with RHB on a fine 73 not out and Mr R on a very good 36 not out. It was a curious game, but if it gets Surrey a win then I don’t care if they bat wearing roller skates and bowl on pogo sticks...

So, well done boys. A victory against Middlesex at Lords. Three fine wickets for me, a confident if unspectacular run chase from Surrey which leaves them still clinging on to the possibility of further progress in the competition should a few more wins come their way. As for Middlesex, it just wasn’t their day, that’s all. They didn’t play the way they could and Surrey bowled very well. A word here for Dernbach who worryingly seems to have picked up a side injury. I hope it’s not too troublesome, because we can’t really do without him.

There was one triumph for Middlesex, however. Mr O’Brien, assisting Kevin Hand, Mark Church and Johnny Barran on the radio commentary was an absolute delight. Especially at the end when he inadvertently gave out that David Warner was likely to start in their next game!

Nice one Ian!

The Force ‘aint with us!

Day Two: Surrey v Leicestershire, The Oval

The force isn't with us. Or so it seemed by close of play.

Nothing’s ever simple with Surrey. After an almost fruitless morning of plugging away, it took an inspired spell from Jade Dernbach to mop up the Leicestershire tail, like Luke Skywalker homing in on the Death Star, delivering the final deadly blow. The final four wickets fell for just 8 runs with Dernbach and Batty causing all the trouble but, for all that, the Leics total stood at 479, with Surrey claiming 1 bowling point and the opposition gaining 4 batting points.

Fielding in the heat isn’t very pleasant, I’d have thought. Fielding in the heat for the best part of two days must be even less pleasant. So, coming in to bat after two days of fielding in the heat must be extremely unpleasant for even the fittest of persons. I reckon Leicestershire will be glad to have won the toss because I think this was a major factor in what followed.

Basically, Surrey never really got going. I’m sure Ramps was hoping for a little more time to put his feet up, just as I suppose Harinath was expecting a little more time at the crease, but sadly for both neither happened and young Arun was dismissed for 4. Ramps seemed to settle in and play his usual game whilst Davies played a more assertive role, and for as long as the pair of them were at the crease things looked fairly settled. And then an incredible over from Claude Henderson saw the removal of both Steven Davies (69) and Mark Ramprakash (30), which sparked an all too familiar Surrey collapse.

Captain Rory, whose gung-ho bravado I admit I rather like, knows how he wants to play the game. Usually this involves being extremely positive, and indeed why not? Davies also likes to score quickly, which is why I think in the shorter game they makes such an impressive, watchable opening pair. However, there has been the odd occasion where that positivity has managed to get him out when possibly a little more circumspection might have been beneficial. He finished today with a score of 13 (unlucky for him). And now I feel a total rat for saying it! At the end of the day I guess the players know rather more about the game than I do. The most impressive thing I can do is play Queen’s ‘Somebody to Love’ on the kazoo...

Only Davies and Ramps really sounded remotely relaxed at the crease, which considering the menacing, dark side like presence of Henderson says a lot. Actually, Surrey could have benefitted from having some stormtroopers bowling at them because as all Star Wars aficionados will tell you, they couldn’t hit the target if it was stood a foot in front of them with a big red cross and ‘please shoot here’ above it.

To make matters worse, Younus Khan stuck around for three balls. In two innings the poor man has made three runs. I do feel sorry for him! All that expectation and it just hasn’t happened for him. As anticipated Pakistan have now rescinded their sentence of a life ban. What that means for Surrey I don’t know, but as he hasn’t exactly found his legs at the Oval I imagine he will be quite keen to try and rekindle his international career, if he wasn’t already.

If this were to happen, any chance of getting Symonds full time?

Batty managed to get out for a duck late on in proceedings, just as Nathan Buck had earlier. Buck for a duck! I did laugh at that one. Somewhat childishly, I know.

Simply, Leicestershire played better than Surrey. There is a tiny flicker of hope in that Afzaal is still at the crease on 24, with Chris Schofield who we all know can stick around longer than a dose of shingles (with apologies for the unflattering comparison) not out on 3. But even with a Surrey tail that can on occasions - such as against Northants – provide some substance you have to say that this time the chances of surviving the follow on is as likely as Jabba the Hutt winning gold on the asymmetric bars.

As Han Solo might have said, I have a baaaaad feeling about this...

Still celebrating!

Okay...I’ve calmed down now.

But yippee! A win in the CC! Something that hasn’t happened to Surrey since, well, last year against the very same team! Cue little dancing Ewoks playing celebratory jungle drums! Does this mean we can only win against Northants? Or, as we are all hoping and praying, will it lead to a renewed energy and confidence to take into the Glamorgan game? It will be a tough act considering that Glamorgan are at the top of Division 2, but the fact that Surrey are only a few points behind Leicestershire now, although still at the bottom, suggests that any team on a good day is capable of beating any of the others.

It really is going to come down to those little ‘moments’. The catches taken and those dropped. The boundaries successfully cut off, and decisions going your way. Surrey’s fielding, so often castigated in the past, has improved so much since the beginning of the season. It’s going to have to be tip-top at Cardiff on Saturday.

Other than the win though, which was the major achievement of the Northants game, there were some good individual performances. Nel and Dernbach’s batting extravaganza was mentioned yesterday, but this morning they both managed to inflict a lot of damage with the ball as well. Linley claimed the early scalp of Boje, and Sales (who had sadly been off the field of play with a rather nasty sounding migraine for much of the game) was run out shortly after for a duck. Hall managed 32 before Nel removed him, and he also got rid of Middlebrook for 5. Vaas hung around for a little while, putting on 17 before falling to Dernbach, and yesterday’s hero also accounted for Dagget, who made 2 runs. It left Willey not out on 18 and Northants with a total of 241 for Surrey to chase in two sessions.

The target looked fairly doable, and so it proved. Davies opened with Harinath and hit a quickfire 25 until caught by Willey. Ramps steadied the Surrey ship in his own inimitable style, quietly accumulating runs whilst Harinath made a solid 48 before being dismissed. RHB, playing in his usual positive and aggressive fashion, lived dangerously at various stages in the innings, finally removed for 45 coming down the track to smash the ball and then being stumped by O’Brien. Afzaal however played a much more studious and sedate innings and contrived with Mark Ramprakash to see the game to its conclusion – and a Surrey victory.

The South London team finally claimed a well deserved 7 wicket win over Northants, with Afzaal 33 not out and Ramps 79 not out. It’s a rich seam of form that Mr R has hit in the last few games. A double ton and a single hundred in the Middlesex game, plus a 70 and 79 not out in the Northants game. He currently sits third in the combined division batting figures with a very healthy average into the 70s, better than both the batsman ahead of him in terms of runs. I imagine the briefing of Saturday’s Glamorgan team will have ‘get Ramps early’ at the top of their agenda, followed by ‘don’t drop him, for god’s sake’ as bullet point number two. Of course, this brings my old favourite Mr Cosgrove back into the frame come Saturday. It’s the battle of the two Marks: and both are right bang in form. Who is going to come out on top?

I’m guessing the Surrey song was echoing throughout the dressing room at Wantage Road this evening. I hope they kept the lyrics clean, or poor Younis Khan, newly arrived from Pakistan, will be wondering exactly what he’s landed himself in! Yes, that’s right: the invisible batsman is no longer invisible.

Hopefully he’ll be given the chance to sing along with the team on many occasions to come!