Stay Rampant

I seem to be developing a nasty habit of stopping posting roughly around Christmas. Post-Christmas sag (which can be best defined as a bad case of “can’t be arsedness” brought on by too much sherry trifle) tends to kick in leaving the new county championship season looking like a distant mirage. Like last year I spent the three months leading up to Christmas by blogging about Strictly, and then simply not bothering with the result. In 2010 there was an excuse, because after I had learned that Deirdre had passed away the whole thing seemed a bit pointless and trivial, so I downed tools and neglected to write a suitable ‘congrats Kara’ post. This year there was no excuse save for the fact that the result was a foregone conclusion and I was too stuffed with countless Cadbury’s Roses to even care that the wee fella from McFly had triumphed.

It didn’t really come as a surprise, did it?

Anyhow, well done to him. I have to say that he deserved to win on the night so I had no problem with the result.

Since then Pat (no relation to Mark) Butcher has joined the televisual choir invisible. Rangers Football club are in so much debt they may have to get McCoist to slip out of his managerial duds, pull on his shirt and play. And Donald Trump is having a ding-dong battle with Alex Salmond to see who gets to be King of Scotland. Poor Mr Trump seems to be under the illusion that in this current economic downturn what Scotland really needs is a bloody great golf course. And Mr Salmond is under the impression that what Mr Trump’s golf course needs are some great big wind turbines spinning merrily in the background...

I’m not a shit-stirrer by nature, but I’m with Al on this one.

In terms of Surrey news there’s been the usual off-season activity: some great and some rather sad. The good: we’ve got Ally Brown back at the Oval where he belongs.

No, not in his bar.

Mr Brown has joined the Surrey coaching staff. I admit I was quite pleased to see him back. We’ve also signed the doughty opener Jacques Rudolph. Seeing as how RHB had been forced into opening due to necessity this is a very welcome development.
The not so good: Meaker and Tremlett have both picked up injuries, and Dernbach is now well entrenched in the England one day side so we may not be seeing as much of them as we would like. We also said a sad farewell to Schoey. I can only hope he gets picked up by some team as he’s no back marker yet, especially in the shorter format.

Mr R is captaining a rather eclectic group of cricketers in the traditional MCC v county champions clash in Dubai. Gareth Batty is also in the team for Surrey. Really looking forward to this! Well, what we can find out about it as I doubt there will be much if any coverage of it either on the radio or in the papers. Still, if there’s one thing the Rampants do well it’s cheering from the sidelines...even with a time differential to take into account. Jean will still be pushing her pineapples and shaking that tree with the best of them!

Talking of the Rampants, the photo accompanying this post was taken by Mel whilst on holiday in Aldeburgh. Just goes to show you that although we may be spread the length and breadth of the country and not able to attend every game, the message is still very clear!

Dernbach earns England call-up!

Hurrah, basically!

The Rampants are very pleased for Jade. We feel somewhat proprietorial towards him since we first saw him wandering about the Oval car park in his skins after the previously mentioned 2007 championship game against Lancashire.

Progress has been made slowly but surely by Dernbach over the last few years; certainly I noticed a marked difference in him when I last saw him play in 2010. He seems to exude a definite sense of confidence and maturity these days...possibly the hot-headedness of youth has been tempered with time and experience, but that raw skill first displayed for Surrey at the age of 17 now appears to have developed to another level.

I still hope we’ll have the pleasure of seeing him at the Oval: with both Tremlett and Dernbach potentially on England duty the onus will be put squarely back on Chris Jordan to propel Surrey back to the upper echelons of county cricket. But whilst Woakes can perhaps feel slightly aggrieved that he wasn’t chosen this time as a replacement for the injured Shahzad, this is Jade’s chance to shine and be noticed. What an incredible moment for him, and all those who have helped him progress to this level. They must be very proud!

I’ll stop now because I’ve realised I sound like my mum on the rare occasions I do anything noteworthy. Not that I’ll ever represent my country at cricket: I couldn’t even represent Scotland at Connect 4 or Buckaroo...

Anyway, well done Mr Dernbach, sir!

Congratulations and general back-slapping

...to Chris Tremlett and Steven Davies on making the Ashes touring party, and to Jade Dernbach on his place in the Lions team. I know that this is a couple of weeks too late but to be honest I've been soo tired and a little bit aimless since the end of the season that I really couldn't be bothered blogging anything. All the same, it's lovely to see these guys getting the recognition they deserve.

Talking of recognition, Tremlett also won the players award at the annual Surrey end of season do. Totally agree with the decision! He's had a wonderful season for the club. Same goes for Ramps, who picked up three awards: best batsman, fitness award and supporter's award. How do you measure fitness, though? Do they stick the players on a tredmill and see who's the last one to drop?

Nevermind. The Rampants have always thought he was pretty fit!

End of season blues

So, there we have it. Another county championship ends; heralding the true start of autumn. Now all I have to look forward to are increasingly dark days, overuse of my SAD lamp and the inexorable slithering towards the festive period. There’s always the horse racing, I suppose, and the prospect of watching Ann Widdecombe being manhandled around the Strictly Come Dancing studio floor by an exasperated Anton Du Bec! Whose body will give out first, I wonder?

And please, if they get to Samba week, no pink tail-feathers on AW’s costume. I don’t think my mind could take it...

It was lovely to see Surrey sign off with a win, and in such dramatic fashion! They do seem adept at these random last-gasp rescues! That amazingly tense finish to the 2007 championship against Lancashire will live with me forever. I was so pleased to witness it, even although there was a part of me that felt very sad for Lancs. Then that amazing game last year against Middlesex on a very cold day in May 2009, where they turned almost certain defeat into an incredible draw at the last moment. Run-outs, stumpings, you name it: Surrey pulled it out the bag! If I had a favourite piece of commentary by Mark Church it would most likely be this one.

There have been some tight games since but the defeat of Gloucestershire by 10 runs, thanks at the end to an inspired Jade Dernbach who took two wickets in two balls, ranks alongside them. Well played Surrey! I have to say I thought the declaration a tad generous, but it proves what most people no doubt think: when it comes to cricket I know absolutely nothing!

There have been highs and lows throughout the season, most of which I have documented. The highs were so huge they had snow covering them: the glorious 40 over world record against Glamorgan, Ramps’ imperious 1st innings double century & 2nd innings century (although I still think they should have stuck the team in again), Andre Nel’s bravery doing his best on one leg...it takes a skilled man to hop round the wicket and bowl! There have been many others too, such as Jason Roy becoming the first Surrey man in history to score 100 in a T20 game.

And there have been massive lows, too; many of which were just too depressing to name! It was sad to see Michael Brown unable to bat at all this year due to injury/rehabilitation/surgery. His top order stability was much missed this season, and it must have been desperately frustrating for the poor man to sit on the sidelines and watch as his team struggled at times. It was also sad to see Usman Afzaal being released by the club, although the writing appeared to be on the wall for a good few months.

The undoubted successes of the year were Steven Davies and in particular Chris Tremlett. Considering Tremlett had a reputation for disintegrating if you so much as sneezed a mile downwind in his direction, the boy done good! In fact I’d be surprised if he didn’t get Surrey player of the year to be honest, sad as it is for Ramps not to win it for the umpteenth time.

Talking of the great man, he managed to finish top batsmen for Surrey by some distance. He also managed to be top run scorer in both divisions (a fact that seems to have gone remarkably unreported), although Hildreth topped the averages this year. Whilst not a vintage Ramprakash season by his own standards, nigh on 1600 runs and five centuries including two doubles isn’t to be sneezed at for a spritely 41 year old.

The highlight of my London trip was watching him bat. Sure, it would have been nice to witness him get a half century but just to be able to see the way he went about composing an innings, taking his time to start with and getting himself in before slowly going through the gears, was a real treat for me. I’d heard it oft described, and finally I managed to see it for myself. Fingers crossed he’s back next year for one last hurrah! I guess he doesn’t really owe Surrey any favours but I do hope he sees his contract out next year. I have the feeling the club still desperately needs his experience.

And if he chooses not to, well, how to you go about replacing the irreplaceable? I think Chris Adams already knows the answer to that one. Quite simply: you can’t.

So, Surrey end the season with a touch of deja vu. They end third from bottom, like last year, although with three more games won than last time. Progress of sorts, most certainly. If they had taken the chances that had come their way, or converted those narrow defeats into victories, they may have challenged for promotion at the end. But the team as a whole is still green, still learning their trade, with much still to do before they can climb the Division 2 ladder. However, from a Surrey point of view at least the club can take one positive from the season...

They finished above Middlesex again.

Kevin Pietersen broke my camera!

 
Of course, Kevin Pietersen got his revenge for my inadvertent hexing whilst we watched him, grand old Duke of York style, marching out to the middle then marching back again.

I’d been happily snapping away with my camera and decided grudgingly that I hadn’t taken enough of KP. It is true that I had taken quite a few of Ramps, Tremlett, Roy and Dernbach but there are times when you have to put your natural bias to one side and take a more subjective view of things. Kevin was never especially close to where we were sitting – even Ramps was closer this time, much to our collective delight – but at some point in the afternoon I decided it was time to zoom in on Kevin and give him a bit of camera time.

I pointed my camera at him, took two pictures in rapid succession, and then KP turned and looked straight down my lens...

Whereapon my camera died.

Not only is Pietersen on his day one of England’s finest players but he has the ability to fry expensive digital equipment with a single look. It’s an impressive skill to have, without question.

Thing is, should I send Kevin the bill or should I, as my mother suggested, put it down to simply exhausting the thing by taking so many pictures of Ramps and Tremlett?

A view of the cockrell's bottom

It was always going to be a tough order to overcome a confident Somerset side, and so it proved to be in today’s CB40 game. The scorecard doesn’t tell the full story, but it does give an indication of the way the game twisted and turned.

Trescothick was potentially a huge threat but one that was surprisingly annulled with only 8 runs to his name, but in his place there came equally explosive and worthy batsmen: Kieswetter (who started like a train but finished like a speeding snail) hit 79 and even more impressively Buttler down the order made a match-winning 87. Du Bruyn has often been a nemesis for Surrey, and he chipped in with 54, contributing to a rather imposing 290 for six!

I looked at the score set by Somerset and mentioned to some of the listening Rampants that I was slightly concerned they were perhaps a batsman light and that:

“With it reduced to 36 overs they really could have done with the extra batting power, because if RHB or Davies go cheaply or Roy has a bad day, there's only Ramps left!”

Who’s a clever girl, then?

Unfortunately, the skipper made 0 today. Davies made 11 and Roy a 0, just to make the score board slightly symmetrical. And Ramps made 73.

That’s not to say that Kennington’s batting maestro was the only one who put in a good performance as Spriegel and Walters both got within touching distance of a half century, but again there was little backing up done by the lower order batters except from a cheeky and explosive 31 from Dernbach at the tail. It seems to me that if the top two fail to lay a reasonable foundation for the middle order Surrey really struggle. There’s an awful lot of pressure on Mark Ramprakash’s shoulders to bat the entire innings, and fair play to him: he gives it a pretty good go most days! But it’s also not fair on him.

I’m not going to say the selection was wrong: I don’t believe it’s my place to do so. However, I think I would have preferred Wilson in the team just to shore up the batting on what is a ground that usually sees runs galore.

Of course, Somerset had the game won pretty much from the moment that sizeable tally was posted. Poor Tremlett had a bit of a shocker with the ball today, leaking over 70 runs. He’s been so stupendous up until now: I really hope this doesn’t knock his new found confidence because he’s been a cracking acquisition for Surrey this season.

Some words of praise here for poor, frozen Mark Church; shivering away in the hut whilst he provided his usual splendid commentary. It was a gallant attempt to give us a flavour of a frustratingly stop-start game affected by the rain, punctuated by the occasional sniffle and creaking of vocal chords. If icicles could speak they would sound like Churchy did this evening. Somebody get him a well deserved shot of brandy! That was a radio performance beyond the call of duty: I was feeling cold just listening!

Cameron: his heart will go on...

It’s such a pleasant change to see positive things happen at New Road. In recent years the club has been flooded at least twice, on one occasion to the extent where Olympic triathlon swimming could comfortably have been trialled at the ground. There have been all kinds of reports of unrest amongst players, with some of them – including Gareth Batty – having gone off to pastures new (or not so new in Batty’s case). With all of that to one side, how refreshing to see young Mr Cameron doing so well in the Worcestershire cause. When I say Cameron, I don’t mean the PM. He has enough trouble trying to remember who the England cricket team are, let alone knowing which end of a bat is which...

It’s been an odd day as far as I can tell, in terms of where we are in the game. Both teams will be feeling quietly satisfied. Firstly, Worcestershire would win bragging rights for winning the toss and batting first. But then Surrey would have felt insanely smug at having the hosts down at 106-5! These little twisty, turny sessions have produced a rather intriguing little scenario in that whilst the morning belonged to Surrey, the afternoon definitely went to Worcs. A fiendish partnership involving the aforementioned Cameron developed, sticking harder than a piece of chewing gum to one of Mark Ramprakash’s bats!

Tremlett stole the bowling honours with his four wickets today, in the same way that Cameron did for the Worcestershire batting. If there’s a better opening bowler in the county game at the moment I’ve not seen him. Again, I didn’t hear the majority of the game because muggins was up to my eyes in dead people (genealogy, before people think I work in a ‘Silent Witness’ capacity), but it looks like there may have been one or two slightly silly shots offered by the Worcestershire batsmen in the morning session given the score. Mitchell fell for 5 runs, care of Tremlett. Then it was the turn of the lovely Rampant favourite Solanki for 37, bowled by Batty, and 13 proved unlucky for Moeen Ali, who was out lbw to Batty. At 83-3 Surrey must have been feeling mighty pleased with themselves!

The situation was almost instantly made even better when Kervezee stumbled to a six ball duck with only one further run added to the score. And when Shakib was bowled by Tremlett for 18, another notch on the Surrey smug-ometer must have been reached!

The period immediately after lunch often seems to be the real danger to Surrey when bowling. I wouldn’t say they let the game get away from them, as the batting between Cameron and Wheeldon was very fine, but it does seem to be an Achilles heel for the south London team. Do they have too many sticky toffee puddings at dinner time? Are they too stuffed full of munchies? I’m only saying this because twenty minutes after my own lunch I have to fight the urge not to fall asleep with my head on the keyboard...

Compare the situation before and after. The last wicket to fall before lunch was the fifth, for 106. The next one fell with the score at 211! That is one heck of a comeback (doffs cap in admiration) from Worcestershire. Surrey huffed and puffed but the wickets still stood until the departure of Wheeldon for 65, given lbw to Dernbach. To rub more salt into the wound, Cameron and Cox then continued where Wheeldon left off! Cox did well in keeping Cameron company whilst the latter crept slowly towards his highest ever batting total. I shouldn’t really be cheering on the opposition, but I confess in this case I did. Just a little cheer.

I gave a bigger one when Cox went for 18, lbw to Batty.

There was of course the chance that Cameron would reach his first ever first class century, but as fate would have it he fell four short, thanks to some acrobatics from Stewart Walters, who juggled the ball for a while before finally taking the catch!

Surrey can take pride in two things. I’ve already mentioned on a few occasions the meteoric improvement in the Surrey fielding, to the extent where they’ve gone from zeros to heroes in this field (pardon the pun). If there was a graph denoting the improvement from two years ago, say, starting at a level equal to the black hole of Calcutta, the big, red squiggly line would show we’re currently scaling the summit of Ben Nevis! A pie chart would similarly denote a very satisfying portion showing Surrey doing very nicely, probably comparing favourably with other counties. Of course, Surrey have a young and fit squad, which helps. Even Ramps on the verge of 41 is incredibly fit. I have the feeling that, much as we love him, having someone like Cosgrove in the side might not help in terms of fielding statistics. If he saw a pie chart, god love him, he’d probably eat it...

But the real improvement is the bowling. By and large we are now looking like a side that is going to bowl the opposition out twice in a game. Tremlett has been a fairly dynamic cog in the wheel, but Batty too (who I know gets a lot of stick from some Surrey fans in certain quarters) is starting to reap the rewards of his hard graft. Dernbach, returning from injury having started so well, is now looking like he’s shaken the rust from his bowling arm. Imagine a side that could have had a fit Andre Nel and Chris Jordan, as well as Meaker! Now you’re talking!

Andrew, who had replaced Cox as Cameron’s perfect foil, must have felt a little lonely without his friend as he fell four runs later with the score on exactly 300, bowled by Dernbach for 24. That left the final pair to be mopped up, with Tremlett fittingly picking up the scalp of Mason for 4, leaving Shantry not out, also on 4.
It’s a bit difficult to know how Surrey would have felt about having four or so overs at the end of the day to see off, but I guess that’s what happens when you knock over the opposition late on. Would they have sent out a night watchman if one of the openers had gone, to protect Ramps’ wicket? I’m not sure Mr R has much time for night watchmen to be honest. What happens when your night watchman’s wicket falls? Do you send out another? And what happens if he goes too???

It was a question that thankfully didn’t need answering, as both Lancefield and Harinath (who we’ll probably be sticking with as poor Michael Brown is confirmed out for the rest of the season) stuck dutifully to their wickets, with Lancefield not out on 7 and Harinath not out on 1. Fingers are well and truly crossed that they stick around long enough to take the sting out the ball tomorrow. It would be nice to see the opening partnership succeed: it showed signs of promise in the Sussex game.

Of course, with less than 300 runs now to get to equal the Worcestershire total, the real question is whether or not the rain is going to play havoc with the game like it did against Sussex. At the time of writing this it doesn’t look hopeful!

On a slightly different tack, the BBC headlines proclaims “Drink-driving Swann blames cat.’

Come on. How’s it’s feet supposed to reach the pedals?

All in the stars

Now I remember why I leave for work at 6.50am each day. Getting on the bus at 9.30am when the bus is full of screaming children being taken to nursery is not pleasant. Not that I have anything against children: I must have done a bit of screaming myself at that age. But it doesn’t make for a peaceful start to the morning! I bypassed the Orks today and went shopping with mum. Unfortunately I broke my promise never to buy a pair of jeggings: I’m pretty sure it’s not a look that suits ladies over size 12. You’d never think I had a diploma in fashion!

I did get back in time to hear most of today’s game, and it was very interesting indeed! Obviously it was a tad disappointing when Ramps was bowled for 21 (most of the Rampants listening were fairly genteel although I shan’t repeat the phrase used by Jan!), but the game has at least moved on now. And I guess it needed to given the loss of the whole of yesterday. Davies played well, riding his luck at times but top scoring with 62. Walters again got his head down and made a timely 45. The rest more or less were similar in terms of scores, with RHB, Ramps, Harinath and Tremlett all hitting 20s. Lancefield hit a well crafted 37, Spriegel a slightly more cameo 1, Batty 19 and Dernbach...a somewhat deflating first ball duck.

Sussex did bowl well, however. Arafat pick up a fivefer and Panesar also claimed 4 scalps. The plan of the day seemed to lie with frustrating and stifling Surrey’s runs, which did work in the morning session, but as with the Sussex first innings the tail began to wag a little in the afternoon. If the pattern repeats itself Surrey will have hopes of bowling Sussex out quickly: time to wheel out South London’s very own Sherman Tank in the shape of Tremlett, methinks!

The chase by Sussex of the Surrey 75 run lead started positively, but Meaker claimed Nash for 22 and night watchman Panesar for a third ball duck, leaving Thornley on 0 and Joyce on 16no at stumps. I bet Meaker was miffed that the game had to stop, as he had got in to a lovely rhythm. I hope he can continue tomorrow, as I am back to work and no doubt up to my eyes in genealogical records again. It’s been a nice mid-week break but much as I love my job, all that it’s achieved is to make me want more time off! Oh well, London in a few weeks. * gulp *

Now for something completely different.

Harinath: Aries
Lancefield: Libra
Ramprakash: Virgo
Davies: Gemini
Hamilton-Brown: Virgo
Walters: Cancer
Spriegel: Pisces
Batty: Libra
Meaker: Aquarius
Tremlett: Virgo
Dernbach: Pisces

This was the composition of today’s squad. Does this prove that Virgos are the star attractions when it comes to cricket?

Surrey (with the fringe on top)

 
Sorry...been waiting for August to arrive before I used that title!

I personally am not terribly fond of the Edinburgh Fringe festival, but my reasons are selfish and not due to any raging dislike of the many acts on display – of which there are a great variety. They will of course range from the abysmal to the brilliant, but the fact is their presence (although bringing welcome revenue to a city beset by never-ending tram works) is a bleedin’ nuisance to the residents! Three weeks of fighting my way through swarms of people who don’t have any concept of ‘queuing’. Three weeks of waiting for buses that never seem to arrive on time, or seemingly zapped from existence entirely. Three weeks of jostling through persons whose only ambition is to stop you from reaching your bus stop. That more or less sums up what the festival means to me. Add to the fact that my work is just off Princes Street and I’m slap bang in the centre of festival hell!

So, to counteract the less appealing aspects of August, including paying £540 for an annual bus pass (which I did today), and notching up yet another year to my credit (later this week), I had the most wonderful surprise in terms of the score for day one of Surrey v Sussex at Guildford. Following the BBC cards doesn’t really have the same immediacy as listening to the internet commentary although in its own way it can be equally addictive (sneaking on and pressing refresh as often as one can reasonably get away with in working hours). So imagine my delight when I looked in and saw the score was 13-3!

I may have e-mailed Liz to express my astonishment and delight. Two of Sussex’s best batsmen (Joyce and Goodwin) sent back to the pavilion for a splendid nought! And Tremlett picking up all three wickets (Thornley falling for a princely 1)! I know Davies is regarded as a real star for Surrey, and rightly so, but for me it’s Tremlett that has been the main man so far (Ramps excluded).

Nor did it end there. Nash garnered 21 runs when caught by Lancefield off the bowling of Batty. Yardy followed very soon after for 18, and then Brown for the same score some time afterwards. At this point Sussex were looking very shaky. Arafat and Rayner showed some much needed resistance but then after lunch Arafat perished on 23! Surrey must have had dreams of finishing off the tail as quickly as possible, but invariably the puppy kept on wagging away. It took the devil and a stick of dynamite to remove the doughty Rayner who fell three short of a half century, whilst Adkin and Panesar formed the most irritating duet since Rene and Renata! Seriously though, well done to Adkin on his first championship game. I was genuinely sorry he didn’t reach his 50, as it was a stout performance in the face of obdurate Surrey bowling.

Statistics will give the appearance that Surrey let things slide in the afternoon session, and I can’t tell if this was the case or not, as I was trying to elbow my way past a bunch of Orks – sorry, tourists – to get to my bus stop at this time. I can’t think that any team would willingly give away a commanding position however, although admittedly it was disappointing they couldn’t have winkled out Sussex for under two hundred. At lunchtime you would have thought it a formality, but I suppose that’s cricket for you! Panesar gets much kudos for digging in. He’s not exactly renowned for his batting skills but he plagued and frustrated the Surrey bowlers for a good long time, eventually making a more than respectable 20 not out! Collymore was the last Sussex batsman to fall having had his bails rearranged by Dernbach for 2.

The Sussex first innings total amounted to 217. It could and possibly should have been worse for them, but the afternoon session suggested it was favouring the batsmen, with Surrey opening pair Harinath and Lancefield doggedly beginning their run chase. At the end of play both openers were still there with the score on 47; Lancefield on 20no and Harinath on 19no.

I think it’s fair to say Surrey were the happier of the two sides tonight, and will be hoping to press their advantage on a track that has a past history of very large scores. Bat long and bat once? I can only assume this will be what Surrey are hoping will happen, although if the predicted rain falls overnight then who knows how much time will be taken out of what is shaping up to be an exciting game.

Oh well, that’s it for another day. Back to dodging the tourists again...

One Nelluva day!

Surrey v Northants: Day Three at the Brit Oval

I’m so glad I took a half day from work, even although nothing much actually happened for the majority of it from a Surrey point of view! Okay, I was feeling ill and headachy until after the lunch break, and fell asleep on the fold-down bed (which I managed to break for the second time in the space of a week) but to be honest I don’t think I missed that much by the sound of it. Churchy’s got such a soothing voice that I kept drifting in and out of consciousness. I wonder if he’s considered a sideline career in doing audio books? Get him to read ‘The Hungry Caterpillar’ and ‘Mog The Forgetful Cat’ to the kids: he’d make a fortune!

What I did gather from when I was actually awake was that Surrey had one wicket to get in the Northants first innings. It took a bit of time but you always felt it was a formality, really. Possibly that’s why I kept zedding all the time! I did actually hear Brooks’ departure, with Batty picking up another wicket: his fifth in the game as it turned out. Brooks likes to tonk the ball about a bit looking at the shots he played: four 4s and three 6s are not bad from a tail ender! But at the end of the day all Northants managed to achieve was one solitary batting point, and Surrey were quick to stick them in and have another crack at them.

I was going to use the old simile of ‘three busses turning up at once’, but perhaps I’d better not. In Edinburgh we’re still waiting for our trams to arrive. If Surrey waited for a wicket as long as we will have to wait for the work in the city centre to finish, they could have expected to dismiss Peters sometime in 2013...

As it happens it did seem that was the way it was going to pan out. Cricketers must have incredible patience and concentration. For so long nothing happened, and I was reduced to waking myself up with the sound of my own snoring (which quite disgusted my cat who was sleeping on the chair in the same room), punctuated with pleas to the cricket gods to grant Surrey a wicket or two before the heavens opened again. And then, lo and behold, from out of nowhere Peters was dispatched with typical Günter efficiency for 50. It was as if the cap had been unscrewed on a violently shaken bottle of Diet Pepsi, for no sooner had the pressure been released by the wicket of Peters than Howgego was Howgegone!

Wait...this gets better.

Sales went for a duck, bowled by Tremlett. And then Tremlett also got White, whom he’d almost managed to turn into a eunuch with his previous delivery, for a resounding zero! Four wickets gone with no further runs added! Tremlett and Nel must be one of the bowling duos you’d least like to face on the county circuit at the moment. Even when hobbling like Long John Silver Andre gives it everything, and Tremlett has become increasingly accurate and economical the more he’s played.

And then there’s Stuart Meaker. Gareth Batty had a pretty fine haul of wickets today, but then so did Meaks. With five down you really felt Surrey had a really good chance of finishing the game with a day off for good behaviour. If it wasn’t quite ‘start the coach time’ you were probably thinking that the Northants driver was behind the wheel! And sure enough, another little clump of wickets fell in the same way they had in the first innings: Wakely out for 7 runs to a catch by Nel that sounded as if it was right out the top drawer! Sometimes you feel it’s a bit of a pity that the cameras are static and focussed on the middle in the replays, and I guess this is one of those times! And then shortly afterwards Hall departed for 2, with Meaker taking another. It all seemed a little too good to be true; although Chigumbura tried to show the same stubbornness he had whilst occupying the crease the day before. When he went for 25 it was definitely looking like a Surrey victory was inexorably heading the way of the home team.

There remained the small matter of Murphy, whom Meaker removed for 8, Lucas (brilliantly caught by Afzaal for 14) and Brooks (brilliantly but hilariously not-caught by Afzaal). Poor old Usman has had a mixed game: failing with the bat yet again but always seemingly popping up at a vital moment to claim a wicket, take a catch or turn himself into a two-seater propeller aeroplane. The non-catch, following almost immediately from his sublime take of Murphy, reduced Tremlett (and Mark Church) to tears of laughter. Considering someone once said that Afzaal’s fielding reminded them of ‘a bear doing aerobics’ he’s probably not done too badly!

Brooks and Middlebrook appeared determined to delay the expected outcome, but it was inevitable that the final wicket would fall to Afzaal, and to be caught by man-of-the-match Ramprakash. Did Afzaal run after him for his customary hug? I don’t know, because just as inevitably I was sitting down to tea when the last wicket fell! Grrrrrrrr!

So, there you have it. A win for Surrey by one innings and 175 runs, I kid you not! If it was an episode of a Dynasty-style soap opera, the credits would go up with RHB and Spriegel as the young, dashing brothers, Nel and Tremlett two nightclub bouncers, Batty as the local sheriff, Meaker as his apprentice, M R Ramprakash as the lord of the manner and Afzaal as...er...the one with big shoulder pads. But even if the massive total was built upon Ramps’ hefty 248 the fact is this was a triumph for the whole team: their first at the Oval since back in 2007! Every one of them contributed to the win in some way.

Even the lemon tree on the boundary bowed its branches in respect!

It isn’t over ‘til the fat laddie swings...

That title's a bit cruel, given how fond I am of Cosgrove. Today, alas, more or less saw the end of Surrey’s chance of progression (not that those chances were great anyway), but as I keep attempting to remind myself, T20s only a bit of fun. It’s the cricket equivalent of Dali’s wobbly, melting clocks. It’s not the Mona Lisa and it’s not a masterpiece by Titian or Renoir. It’s still art and it has broad appeal to many, though. Nowt wrong with paintings of people with both eyes on the side of their face. I used to draw like that...

Surrey’s up and down form has of late been more akin to a dead sheep pickled in Formaldehyde and suspended upside down in a tank but, for all that, today’s game (final nail in the T20 coffin as it was) at least provided some thrilling moments. Stewie Walters got a well deserved 53; his first half century in the contest. And on the Glamorgan side of things we got to see a whole lot more of Cosgrove. As one wag recently said, if telly puts 10lbs on to your frame then Cosgrove has eaten a lot of tellies...

Firstly, from a Rampant point of view, Mr R was sadly not playing as it appears he damaged his shoulder during the run out in yesterday’s game. Fingers crossed it’s nothing too serious. However, with Davies back from Lions duty and Lancefield opening again it looked like it might be an interesting match. So it proved: and that was without mentioning the streaker! Whilst I love a good streaker during a game you do have to wonder why they do it. A bet? Because they’ve had several skinfuls? Whatever, they have to have a huge...brass neck.

Surrey won the toss and opted to field first. RHB is improving in the tossing stakes! Unfortunately it seemed to take the Surrey bowlers a little time to get used to the slower conditions and whilst they were doing so Glamorgan – and Cosgrove in particular – were making hay. 75 runs were on the board before Allenby eventually obliged Meaker by getting out. For a while Surrey flattered to deceive as Meaker struck moments later by removing recent hero Maynard without scoring, but then Glamorgan went back to scoring as they liked. It didn’t even look as if another wicket was going to occur.

Fortunately for Surrey, the next six wickets fell in rapid succession. Just as it appeared as if Cosgrove would launch himself (figuratively, as it would take one heck of a canon to propel him through the air) towards a century Tremlett struck, getting him for 76. And then came the deluge of wickets: Wallace for 5, Dalrymple for a well made 33, Wright for a duck, Harris for 1 and Croft run out without scoring. From what had looked a hopeless situation Surrey’s bowlers had managed to pull it right back. It was a valiant effort from Meaker and Tremlett, with some good fielding from Schofield to boot, although in retrospect I bet they wish they could have struck a few overs earlier.

Having recovered from the amusing sight of Chris Tremlett in a girl’s wig (not during the game, but as shown in a photo by his housemate Michael Brown), we all listened in as Surrey responded by immediately losing Steven Davies without scoring. I’m sure most people were holding their heads in their hands and thinking ‘here we go again’, but Lancefield played a good knock and put on 22. Others around him didn’t fare quite as well, with Jason Roy out for 17 and RHB for 11. Symonds also scored 22, although he got out just as Surrey needed a batsman to really kick on.

In the meantime Walters had taken on the Ramps mantle of accumulator and was quietly going about his business. Alas, whilst his score was creeping ever upwards, so did the run rate. Overs were coming and going with alarming frequency, as were the Surrey batsmen as Spriegel fell for a duck and Schofield, who sounded a little lame in the foot, departed for 5. It was pretty much looking like curtains for Surrey at this point, until Walters and Nel began to get on a last minute charge with fours and sixes galore. But when Nel went for 9 the brief spark of hope was snuffed, and with Walters not really seeing much of the strike in the last few overs Glamorgan kept up the pressure, winning by 10 runs.

A mere 10 runs sort of sums up Surrey’s T20 effort this year. There have been flashes of brilliance from Symonds, Davies, Roy and Ramps with the bat, and with Tremlett, Nel, Spriegel and Dernbach with the ball. We’ve really missed Dernbach in the latter stages of this contest: I think that shows in some of the tighter finishes. There has also been some really heinous cricket as well from virtually all the players at some point. Yes, Surrey has improved markedly but I suppose the sad thing is that there were at least three games which perhaps they should have won. And had we done so, we’d have been in a mighty fine position to go through to the next stage.

Oh, well. C’est la vie! T20, just like wobbly clocks, is fine but it doesn’t make the world tick!

And besides, if there was no T20 we wouldn’t have had this fabulous quote from Mark Church:

“We've all done it in the back garden up against the coal bunker...”









(He was talking about providing ones’ own commentary whilst playing an imagined innings at Lords, btw. Just in case you were wondering!)

All shook up

 
Well, it’s hats off to Surrey for a hard-fought and well deserved victory at Chesterfield.

When I say well deserved, I’m not belittling the effort of the Derbyshire team. Tenaciously clinging on to the bitter end, I have to say they gave me a real fright as the overs ticked away! Yesterday I mentioned the fact that Surrey were soldiering on despite missing various limbs and essential body parts, which sort of puts their win over Derbyshire in an even better light. What we saw from the team today was, er, ‘balls!’

Even when the chips were down they fought on...even when Andre Nel was bowling on one leg he kept running in with typical Günter determination. Or rather, hopping in. There’s an old rhyme about a lady who fought alongside her Scottish compatriots against the ‘auld enemy’, and when her legs were cut off in battle, “fought upon her stumps”. It’s kind of the image I get of Surrey over the last day!

Again, I didn’t hear most of the day’s play. Work is playing havoc with my ability to tune into the four day game. I settled for sneaking little looks at the BBC score card. It didn’t look promising at 12.30. Or 13.30 either for that matter. And even although it was a tad healthier at 15.10 as I was preparing to leave for the day, four wickets didn’t seem to be enough. You see, Surrey has a nasty habit of getting opposing batsmen into nick if they’ve been out of sorts. It’s the same with teams as well, and you could just see Derbyshire making club history by chasing down their highest ever total. It’s the kind of thing that just happens to Surrey.

But then, by the time I got home some 25 mins later, a total of 7 wickets had gone! Suddenly it seemed as if all results were possible. I have to admit that even I couldn’t see where the game was heading at that point. With Andre Nel doing his best impression of a human pogo stick, and Tim Linley off the field of play due to his considerable resemblance to Mr Bump (only not quite so blue), the physiotherapists definitely earned their fees today! I’m also informed that Spriegel’s eyes may have been left watering a tad due to fielding a ball with his lower torso, shall we say?

Nor was it just Surrey who ended with walking wounded. Derbyshire’s Lungley managed to get struck by a ball from his own team mate and had to leave the field of play. Whether it made any psychological difference as well as the blow to the arm he received effecting his grip, who can really say, but the interruption brought Groenewald to the crease whilst Lungley temporarily retired hurt. And then, when Groenewald departed for just 3, you couldn’t help but feel the game was in Surrey’s grasp once again.

It was left to the towering Tremlett to deliver the ball that sent Lungley’s stump somersaulting through the air for 21. So agonisingly close for Derbyshire, and yet so very far! ‘Stumps’ were actually very appropriate, as I think that was just about all that was left of my fingernails! I’m beginning to think Surrey should be sponsored by Bisodol rather than Brit Insurance, considering the peptic ulcer that has probably formed over the last 4 years.

This win for a team comprised entirely of men held together by a combination of willpower and blutack will come as such a relief and delight for not just the players and staff but the supporters as well. There have been many struggles to get to this point, and some ugly cricket mixed in with some really decent play as well, but because there had only been the one win up to this point the good stuff tends to get swept under the carpet. There have been times in previous games where Surrey have had the upper hand and indeed played the better cricket, so it’s not as if they are as bad as the papers sometimes like to make out. Certainly, the tables don’t lie at the end of the day but at least they are off the bottom now, and who can say that they might not win a few more now they have that hunger to do well? If the T20 has done one good thing, its show the squad that they have the ability to potentially beat anyone. Well, anyone except Sussex, but then most teams are struggling against them at the moment.

In the midst of this jubilation, however, we should add a note of caution. Surrey are taking on Somerset at the Oval tomorrow. With Dernbach, Linley, Brown, Jordan, Wilson, Nel and possibly Batty looking more shook up than an Elvis impersonator, just who the heck is going to be fit to play?

Is it too late to send for Kenny Kennington?

Nurse! The screens!

I’ll shut up about winning games and reaching milestones. It’s obvious to all that I am a jinx to Surrey as well as the opposition.

Lesley was on cake duty today and, in order to show some support for the wounded Tim Linley, she cheered him up by handing over some Yorkshire Parkin. I’m admitting to my culinary ignorance here as I thought Yorkshire Parkin was a car lot at Headingley, but it went down very well by all accounts with the gentleman in question, to the extent where she got a hug and a kiss! I don't have a nasty injury like poor Linley but if it’s any consolation I turned my ankle running for the bus this evening. I like to think it was in sympathy.

I’ll give this one a brief summary. Poor Mr R didn’t quite make the 1,000 run mark. I shouldn’t really have mentioned the possibility in yesterday’s blog as he is still 11 short, having made 30 in the second innings. Interestingly, both Adam Lyth and Chris Rodgers fell short in their second innings, but as Yorkshire will play again before Surrey do it’s pretty much a foregone conclusion that Lyth will reach the magic marker first.

In the game itself, the Surrey second innings looked a trifle unusual. Save for the skipper’s 4 the previous day, only one batsman failed to make it into double figures. That was the good part. The perhaps slightly not so good part was the fact that just one of them made it to 35, with Andre Nel claiming that honour. Younus managed the same score as Ramps with 30, Afzaal made 26, Walters 15, Wilson 28, Batty 26 and Linley, who bravely hobbled onto the field of play, managed a gutsy 7. Tremlett again was the last man standing with 10 not out.

The total of the two Surrey innings amounted to 644, giving them a lead of 407. Which it has to be said, is one that would have most teams looking for a rock to quiver under. It’s by no means an impossible one to chase but it was certainly a substantial lead. Going into the last session, Surrey would have been more than a little bit satisfied with that. However, that satisfaction most likely turned to mild consternation when, despite having removed the super-dangerous Rogers for 33, Madsen and Park continued to merrily get their heads down and score freely. And the reason for the run-spree? Let’s see...

Linley: injured

Nel: injured

Batty: possibly injured

Wilson: injured

That’s four members of Surrey’s squad that have either picked up niggles or whacking great ailments. Add them to Dernbach, Jordan and Brown and we will soon be resorting to Lesley marking her run out with Yorkshire Parkin and bowling muffins! The irony that the fittest of the regular bowlers is Chris Tremlett, built like a six foot seven Adonis but, if the past is anything to go by, possessing the fragility of a daddy longlegs, will surely not have been lost on anyone.

In theory, Derbyshire shouldn’t chase the remaining 271. In theory. But with a whole day still to come and with Surrey’s team dropping like mayflies, who can say? Of course, Surrey could play a bit of a wild card and get Ramps to have a bowl. After all, he’s well known for his huge array of impressions of bowlers. All they have to do is get him to do his best circa 1993 ‘Shane Warne’ and Derbyshire will be back in the hutch within five overs.

Sorted!

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

Day Three, Glamorgan v Surrey, Swalec

The Good:

Mark Ramprakash passed the 34,000 run mark. When I say that, I don’t mean he got 34,000 runs today. He’s good, but unless he changes his name to Clark Kent it’s probably beyond even his superhuman powers. All the same 34,000 runs is something to be proud of, because when you think of it that’s an awful lot of shoe leather. The wonderfully named Cyril Washbrook is immediately ahead of him on the list with 34101 runs, so we’re keeping our collective Rampant fingers crossed he soon overtakes him.

Steven Davies making 83 was also pretty darned good, as was a comfy looking 73 from Ramps.

The still Good:

Chris Tremlett thundering in to claim two very early wickets this morning and finish off the Glamorgan innings with them adding something in the region of only 8 more runs. I acknowledge that if you are reading this as a Glamorgan fan you are probably less likely to see this as ‘good’. But then again, you are also probably thinking ‘I don’t care, we have a lead of 76 going in to tomorrow,’ so it evens things up a touch.

The Fairly Good:

The unexpected declaration by Surrey’s very own Captain Marvel, Rory Hamilton Brown. It was a good idea, probably based on the fact that Glamorgan might have expected an overnight declaration, that there was little point in keeping batting with the last wicket partnership on the field and with no more batting points realistically attainable, and with a chance of dismissing Cosgrove for very little. Unfortunately it gets downgraded to ‘fairly’ good because Cosgrove was still there at the end of play, as was Rees.

The Not Exactly Bad, but Not Good:

Usman Afzaal falling one short of a rather good fifty. My fault, Usman. Just as Churchy said you were one short I heard a little voice in my head say that you weren’t going to get it, and lo and behold two seconds later you were gone for 49! Must try to restrain spooky witchy stuff in future.

Yonus Khan getting his first bat for Surrey was definitely good. Falling fifth ball without scoring: unfortunate.

The Bad:

I was studying a particularly unfortunate branch of my family tree today. Five children wiped out by Scarlatina. Three of those children, including a set of twins, all died within a space of two weeks. It put me in mind of the tail end of the Surrey batting line-up as within 10 overs Afzaal, Batty, Meaker and Dernbach all perished for not very many at all.

Again, from a Surrey point of view, Harris ripping through the top order after tea was extremely unhelpful. He got rid of Davies, then Ramps with a beautiful ball (which doesn’t endear him to us because we don’t take kindly to people dismissing the King of Kennington), and then both Younus and the young pretender RHB for quackers! Obviously, if you are Harris or one of the Glamorgan team you probably are feeling a little bit better about it than the Rampants do.

The Ugly:

My mood when the aforementioned Harris got rid of Ramps just when I was settling in to listen to the commentary! You couldn’t have even waited 5 minutes, could you James???

Looking down the barrel

I think Chris Adams must be a little fed up trying to give his honest opinion as to what’s gone wrong in the latest Surrey match. At the end of the day’s play Surrey close on 210-7, and it’s a bit difficult to pinpoint what the malady is with the team. Okay, now some wag is sure to say something about not scoring enough runs or taking enough wickets! The skills are all there, but it’s a very young team (only Nel, Ramps and Afzaal are especially experienced). Whether that is a contributing factor or not for the continuing woes in the championship games, who can say? It’s certainly not a lack of effort. I know the fans feel the lack of wins keenly, but I bet they don’t feel it half as badly as the team.

As so often happens, if you took Mr Ramprakash’s first innings total away from an otherwise poor score, Surrey would be in all heaps of trouble. As it is they are already staring down the barrel. None of the other batsmen were able to get any significant partnerships going, which rather puts that sizeable effort from Boje and Loye into context yesterday. Davies and Harinath opened, with the latter going for a duck, poor fellow, whilst Davies made 33 (which for him was an unusually small total). Only Davies will know if he minds opening in the championship as he does in the shorter game, where he is so effective – Jon Batty seemed to love opening - but it does on paper make sense until Brown is back from his injury problem.

RHB made 30; Afzaal sadly reverted back to his previous bad run of form and made only 12, although there was still a glimmer of hope whilst Ramps and Spriegel were together at the crease. Unfortunately Mr R went whilst looking set on 70, and Chris Schofield took his place at the crease but was sadly unable to replicate his heroics of the previous week, going for 29. Tom Jewell made his championship debut with the bat, but it turned out to be a baptism of fire as he scored 1 run before being given lbw. Andre Nel found himself coming to the crease in the last over of the day, and remains not out on 0 with Spriegel not out on 25.

You have to feel a bit sorry for Jewell, coming in when he did and then getting out with a few balls left. If he’d managed to survive he might well have dug in tomorrow, as he and Spriegel know each other very well and could possibly have made a good partnership. As it is the follow on looms large, and Surrey will be hoping to at least salvage their pride, even if a draw is almost as bad as a loss these days.

One nice, noteworthy occurrence was the first 5fer of Tim Linley’s first class career. Well played, the Viscount! At least something went Surrey’s way!

A note on the injury front: Mr Tremlett apparently has a slight shoulder niggle and is not surprisingly being looked after. I guess there’s no point in potentially making the problem any worse. Still no definite word on when Khan is coming to Surrey either: I’m beginning to wonder if the club is hexed. First we had the invisible bowler and now we have the invisible batsman! He’s not exactly a like for like replacement for Chawla but he could be a pretty decent signing for Surrey – if he ever gets here! I think we’ve been told somewhere in the next week, so fingers crossed.

This blog’s got a bit serious in the last few weeks with all the match reporting, and whilst I can do serious, years of taking the mickey out of myself to counteract sundry personal defects such as galloping agoraphobia tend to make me view most things with a comedic eye. I couldn’t help but wonder if the players actually like ice baths, or are they a necessary evil? Do they dread them the same way as the bleep tests? What would happen if ice baths were in fact installed as punishment chambers, where batsmen are sent if they don’t score runs?

To this end, looking at the amount of runs scored to number of innings, only Ramprakash, Davies and Harinath would really be able to avoid spending any significant time in there. The others would range from being very cold to having their assets well and truly frozen!

Leg Off Before Wicket...

Northamptonshire v Surrey, day one, Wantage Road

Today was mostly about three things. Firstly, the considerable heat. Secondly, a tale of great batting from two determined Northants players. And thirdly, today was the day when Andre Nel turned into Angry Nel. In fact, make that extremely Angry Nel.

Like any ultra competitive sportsman, when things go wrong sometimes a gasket blows. I don’t see a problem with venting feelings: it’s the inner fire that stokes the boiler, after all. Sometimes however that fire gets out of control, as it did momentarily for Nel who apparently got worked up when Davies didn’t take a catch behind the stumps, before getting into the face of Northants O’Brien. No doubt Nel will have apologised but fingers crossed he hasn’t done anything bad enough to merit another slap on the wrists from the umpires. Surrey have enough problems with injured bowlers and invisible bowlers without adding a banned bowler to the casualty list.

Overall you would have to say that, after a topsy turvy day where fortune swung like a pendulum first one way then another, Northants end the day in a superior position, largely thanks to a stand between Boje and Loye, along with an extremely useful 61 from Peters. Loye in particular played well, especially as he never really looked comfortable at the crease until towards the end of the day. Yet for all that he remains handily placed to take the game away from Surrey tomorrow, on 121 not out. If that’s being out of touch, I think many would settle for it!

A total of five wickets have fallen, with Surrey winning the toss and opting to field first. Linley took two wickets, with Dernbach and Jewell one apiece (the latter taking his first championship wicket for Surrey). Nel took his considerable ire out on Sales, whose stumps were sent flying for a duck. But there were no more wickets after the tea break, and Northants clawed their way back to a fantastic position which they will look to use as a platform tomorrow to get a large score.

I’m not sure whether Tremlett is being rested, having his work load managed or if he has broken down, to use racing terminology (which usually means one stage from the glue factory). Batty seems to have injured his leg rather than it being simply a case of cramp, and Michael Brown is still two more weeks away from finding out if, as may be the case for the poor man, he is yet another two more weeks away from a return. Still no further news on Jordan. Any more injuries and we are getting into the realms of Monty Python’s legendary Batsman of The Kalahari sketch. You know the one. With C.U. Pratt being ‘Killed Outright’ and M.J.K Pratt being given out ‘Stump Through Head’ for nought...

Actually, better not give Andre Nel any ideas about dismissing the opposition 'leg off before wicket!'

With tomorrow looking like being another scorcher weather-wise, hopefully tempers will not sizzle too much in a game that Surrey desperately needs to win. Kick-starting one’s season when fast approaching June is a little like trying to catch up with a Mark Webber driven F1 car whilst wearing a roller skate on one foot and a 6 inch stiletto on the other...

I love it when a plan comes together...

Not that there’s much resemblance between the skipper and the A-Team’s Hannibal Smith, but I bet he was thinking much the same thing as Surrey walked off the field of play at the end of the CB40 game against Lancashire. Whilst Surrey have not been doing terribly well in the championship - a current tally of zero wins so far this season, a whole zero more than last season - their form in the CB40 games has been rather splendid! If Friday’s contest showed Surrey could dig themselves out of any fix (like BA Baracus creating an armoured tank from a garage full of paint pots and a few sheets of corrugated iron), today’s display was as silky smooth as one of Dirk Benedict’s shirts.

There the A-Team similarities end, unless Gary Wilson needs his cheese burger doped before they get him onto a plane...

Yesterday I complained that Surrey had a tendency to collapse when Ramps got out, but the problem didn’t arise at all today as the main man was rested (or according to Bumble because he had a slight groin strain). On paper – and with Jimmy Anderson back to bolster an already fine Lancashire side – you’d have thought Surrey would have had their work cut out. Even as an annoying optimist I found myself settling down to listen to what I anticipated would be an enormous drubbing.

I do love being wrong sometimes!

But for a large partnership in the middle of the Lancashire innings care of Sutton and Chilton, Surrey’s opponents never really got going, and this wasn’t so much the batsmen playing badly but the Surrey bowlers repeatedly hitting their mark again and again. Each one of them had a fantastic game but by and large I would just give the nod to Dernbach as pick of the bunch. If he can keep this consistency up in the championship games he is going to be a real handful. In total he claimed three wickets, as did Andre Nel, with two for Tremlett as well. Lancashire were all bowled out for 165, a total that was never going to be enough barring a huge collapse.

Mind you, Surrey has been prone to the odd collapse. Fortunately there was none of that today, as the opening partnership of RHB and Steven Davies came in, kept their heads down and then slowly upped the tempo, with Davies in particular sounding very relaxed and majestic with the bat. It’s not often that Surrey and their fans can sit back and tick the overs away, safe in the knowledge that it was almost impossible to lose the game. It was all finished by the time 23.5 overs had been reached: little short of an absolute massacre! RHB had made 65, and Davies was 85 not out at the close, with Evans out for a rather uncomfortable 3 runs. Afzaal was also not out on 7 at the end of the game.

So, today’s spectacularly uncomplicated, almost clinical victory keeps Surrey second at the top of the table one point behind Somerset. The Unicorns appear to have beaten Sussex as well, which is useful from a Surrey point of view. However, just when you would expect to be able to take all that momentum and energy into the next CB40 game, a quick look at the schedule tells you that Surrey don’t have another game in the competition until July! Is it wrong to scratch my head in bewilderment at this point?

What the schedule does reveal is:

Surrey have a lot of travelling to do.

Surrey have a lot of championship games to play.

Surrey are going to be absolutely knackered by the time they next play a CB40 game, as they have to play for 18 out of the next 22 days!

Hopefully at least the two wins in the CB40 will at least inspire Surrey in terms of confidence. Schoey can do a job with bat and ball, Davies is in tip-top form with the bat as well as tidy behind the stumps, RHB can score quickly, and Ramps and Afzaal have both regained their form in the last few games. With the bowlers beginning to fire, it will surely all come together for Surrey.

Will tomorrow be the day?

Blessed are the Meak-er...

Short Match Report Day Two – Surrey v Gloucestershire at the Oval

Something odd is happening at the Oval. Yesterday I said "It looks like a typical batting track", but wickets have clattered all day: unfortunately from a Surrey point of view all their wickets have clattered, and for not very much. Stumps have gone flying, fingers have gone up...it’s been an unusual type of match, this. The Oval isn’t always known as a results sort of a pitch, by and large, but that’s what we are almost certainly looking at. So, the question is: has a result wicket been prepared or is the ball just seaming about a bit more than expected?

Mr Watchtower Tremlett, who stands as high as the Statue of Liberty, didn't survive the first over this morning and the Surrey innings sort of phutted out after that. Ramps scored 12, RHB went for another quacker, and every single dismissal barring one solitary run-out saw the batsman bowled. All for the princely sum of 178.

But...

Just when you’d usually find yourself morphing into Victor Meldrew and yelling incoherently at the BBC scores page, something happened in the Gloucestershire second innings: more wickets tumbled at speed. At the close of play, Gloucestershire were 139-7, with Meaker bowling perhaps the greatest spell of his first class career, taking four wickets.

The rapid progression of the game should bring both comfort and worry to the home side. If the wickets fall quickly (and hopefully minus another stick-tight partnership from the Gloucestershire tail) then all the better for Surrey. But the fact that all three innings thus far have shown how difficult it is to bat – something I never thought I would say – must have alarm bells ringing. It’s not impossible with a whole two days left to plug away and chase down the target as long as it’s not a total monster, but keeping the wickets intact is going to be the major obstacle here.

I will maintain my insanely optimistic view that it can be done until proven otherwise. I ended volunteering to hug the Surrey team after their great effort on day one. The offer’s still on the table, boys, if you manage the win!

Oh, and it appears that the Oval fox has taken a liking to young Harinath, now known as 'the Fox-Whisperer'. If only Surrey had leant him to Sussex for a small fee...he could have done a Pied Piper and charmed Mr Reynard away!

Tremlett: the 'Night Watchtower'

A very brief match report: Day One at the Oval, Surrey v Gloucestershire

Well, not only did the man everyone's been talking about get a game but, at the risk of tempting fate, Chris Tremlett didn’t break in two either! Four wickets for Surrey on day one from the man who makes Andre Nel look like Ronnie Corbett! I hope he doesn’t try to hug Ramps though. As one of my fellow Rampants said, “man smothered to death by belly button” doesn’t make for attractive headlines...

Tremlett’s magnificent start for Surrey probably stole the headlines for what turned out to be a pretty decent performance by the entire team. Gloucestershire were very quickly caught on the hop, losing early wickets, a fact made known to me at work via our Rampant relay station (well, okay. It was Liz at the Oval armed with her mobile). Even although I was happy to see the wickets tumbling I had mixed feelings on learning that Jon Batty had gone early. There’s no doubt that Chris Adams has picked a magnificent player in Steven Davies, but the Hedgepig was a favourite amongst the Rampants and we all want him to do well for his new club.

It looks like a typical batting track at the Oval, which is why the bowling – underpinned by Tremlett – looked so good today. Gloucestershire haven’t really fired in their games so far this year although they are a win to the good, but in the end the last batting partnership refused to budge and remained, as Blackadder himself might have put it, “stickier than two really sticky things on a stick”. But for this last limpet-like effort Surrey might have bowled them out for under 200...

Towards the end of the day Surrey had lost Gareth Batty and at close they posted 56-1, which is a nice little return with one eye on the Gloucestershire total. Man of the moment Tremlett came in as night watchman or, given his size, night watchtower . I have to agree with a point made on the commentary: it’s amusing to see the batsmen proper mother-henning the NW when it’s supposed to be the other way around. Harinath blithely just got on with getting himself on strike as much as possible, maybe with a view to preserving Tremlett’s back!

I’ve lost count of the number of times that a NW has been sent in to keep Ramps company, and he’s just ignored him and played his own game! I’m beginning to wonder if real batsmen think 'night watchman' is a dirty word...