Surrey (with the fringe on top)

 
Sorry...been waiting for August to arrive before I used that title!

I personally am not terribly fond of the Edinburgh Fringe festival, but my reasons are selfish and not due to any raging dislike of the many acts on display – of which there are a great variety. They will of course range from the abysmal to the brilliant, but the fact is their presence (although bringing welcome revenue to a city beset by never-ending tram works) is a bleedin’ nuisance to the residents! Three weeks of fighting my way through swarms of people who don’t have any concept of ‘queuing’. Three weeks of waiting for buses that never seem to arrive on time, or seemingly zapped from existence entirely. Three weeks of jostling through persons whose only ambition is to stop you from reaching your bus stop. That more or less sums up what the festival means to me. Add to the fact that my work is just off Princes Street and I’m slap bang in the centre of festival hell!

So, to counteract the less appealing aspects of August, including paying £540 for an annual bus pass (which I did today), and notching up yet another year to my credit (later this week), I had the most wonderful surprise in terms of the score for day one of Surrey v Sussex at Guildford. Following the BBC cards doesn’t really have the same immediacy as listening to the internet commentary although in its own way it can be equally addictive (sneaking on and pressing refresh as often as one can reasonably get away with in working hours). So imagine my delight when I looked in and saw the score was 13-3!

I may have e-mailed Liz to express my astonishment and delight. Two of Sussex’s best batsmen (Joyce and Goodwin) sent back to the pavilion for a splendid nought! And Tremlett picking up all three wickets (Thornley falling for a princely 1)! I know Davies is regarded as a real star for Surrey, and rightly so, but for me it’s Tremlett that has been the main man so far (Ramps excluded).

Nor did it end there. Nash garnered 21 runs when caught by Lancefield off the bowling of Batty. Yardy followed very soon after for 18, and then Brown for the same score some time afterwards. At this point Sussex were looking very shaky. Arafat and Rayner showed some much needed resistance but then after lunch Arafat perished on 23! Surrey must have had dreams of finishing off the tail as quickly as possible, but invariably the puppy kept on wagging away. It took the devil and a stick of dynamite to remove the doughty Rayner who fell three short of a half century, whilst Adkin and Panesar formed the most irritating duet since Rene and Renata! Seriously though, well done to Adkin on his first championship game. I was genuinely sorry he didn’t reach his 50, as it was a stout performance in the face of obdurate Surrey bowling.

Statistics will give the appearance that Surrey let things slide in the afternoon session, and I can’t tell if this was the case or not, as I was trying to elbow my way past a bunch of Orks – sorry, tourists – to get to my bus stop at this time. I can’t think that any team would willingly give away a commanding position however, although admittedly it was disappointing they couldn’t have winkled out Sussex for under two hundred. At lunchtime you would have thought it a formality, but I suppose that’s cricket for you! Panesar gets much kudos for digging in. He’s not exactly renowned for his batting skills but he plagued and frustrated the Surrey bowlers for a good long time, eventually making a more than respectable 20 not out! Collymore was the last Sussex batsman to fall having had his bails rearranged by Dernbach for 2.

The Sussex first innings total amounted to 217. It could and possibly should have been worse for them, but the afternoon session suggested it was favouring the batsmen, with Surrey opening pair Harinath and Lancefield doggedly beginning their run chase. At the end of play both openers were still there with the score on 47; Lancefield on 20no and Harinath on 19no.

I think it’s fair to say Surrey were the happier of the two sides tonight, and will be hoping to press their advantage on a track that has a past history of very large scores. Bat long and bat once? I can only assume this will be what Surrey are hoping will happen, although if the predicted rain falls overnight then who knows how much time will be taken out of what is shaping up to be an exciting game.

Oh well, that’s it for another day. Back to dodging the tourists again...

The Force ‘aint with us!

Day Two: Surrey v Leicestershire, The Oval

The force isn't with us. Or so it seemed by close of play.

Nothing’s ever simple with Surrey. After an almost fruitless morning of plugging away, it took an inspired spell from Jade Dernbach to mop up the Leicestershire tail, like Luke Skywalker homing in on the Death Star, delivering the final deadly blow. The final four wickets fell for just 8 runs with Dernbach and Batty causing all the trouble but, for all that, the Leics total stood at 479, with Surrey claiming 1 bowling point and the opposition gaining 4 batting points.

Fielding in the heat isn’t very pleasant, I’d have thought. Fielding in the heat for the best part of two days must be even less pleasant. So, coming in to bat after two days of fielding in the heat must be extremely unpleasant for even the fittest of persons. I reckon Leicestershire will be glad to have won the toss because I think this was a major factor in what followed.

Basically, Surrey never really got going. I’m sure Ramps was hoping for a little more time to put his feet up, just as I suppose Harinath was expecting a little more time at the crease, but sadly for both neither happened and young Arun was dismissed for 4. Ramps seemed to settle in and play his usual game whilst Davies played a more assertive role, and for as long as the pair of them were at the crease things looked fairly settled. And then an incredible over from Claude Henderson saw the removal of both Steven Davies (69) and Mark Ramprakash (30), which sparked an all too familiar Surrey collapse.

Captain Rory, whose gung-ho bravado I admit I rather like, knows how he wants to play the game. Usually this involves being extremely positive, and indeed why not? Davies also likes to score quickly, which is why I think in the shorter game they makes such an impressive, watchable opening pair. However, there has been the odd occasion where that positivity has managed to get him out when possibly a little more circumspection might have been beneficial. He finished today with a score of 13 (unlucky for him). And now I feel a total rat for saying it! At the end of the day I guess the players know rather more about the game than I do. The most impressive thing I can do is play Queen’s ‘Somebody to Love’ on the kazoo...

Only Davies and Ramps really sounded remotely relaxed at the crease, which considering the menacing, dark side like presence of Henderson says a lot. Actually, Surrey could have benefitted from having some stormtroopers bowling at them because as all Star Wars aficionados will tell you, they couldn’t hit the target if it was stood a foot in front of them with a big red cross and ‘please shoot here’ above it.

To make matters worse, Younus Khan stuck around for three balls. In two innings the poor man has made three runs. I do feel sorry for him! All that expectation and it just hasn’t happened for him. As anticipated Pakistan have now rescinded their sentence of a life ban. What that means for Surrey I don’t know, but as he hasn’t exactly found his legs at the Oval I imagine he will be quite keen to try and rekindle his international career, if he wasn’t already.

If this were to happen, any chance of getting Symonds full time?

Batty managed to get out for a duck late on in proceedings, just as Nathan Buck had earlier. Buck for a duck! I did laugh at that one. Somewhat childishly, I know.

Simply, Leicestershire played better than Surrey. There is a tiny flicker of hope in that Afzaal is still at the crease on 24, with Chris Schofield who we all know can stick around longer than a dose of shingles (with apologies for the unflattering comparison) not out on 3. But even with a Surrey tail that can on occasions - such as against Northants – provide some substance you have to say that this time the chances of surviving the follow on is as likely as Jabba the Hutt winning gold on the asymmetric bars.

As Han Solo might have said, I have a baaaaad feeling about this...

Looking down the barrel

I think Chris Adams must be a little fed up trying to give his honest opinion as to what’s gone wrong in the latest Surrey match. At the end of the day’s play Surrey close on 210-7, and it’s a bit difficult to pinpoint what the malady is with the team. Okay, now some wag is sure to say something about not scoring enough runs or taking enough wickets! The skills are all there, but it’s a very young team (only Nel, Ramps and Afzaal are especially experienced). Whether that is a contributing factor or not for the continuing woes in the championship games, who can say? It’s certainly not a lack of effort. I know the fans feel the lack of wins keenly, but I bet they don’t feel it half as badly as the team.

As so often happens, if you took Mr Ramprakash’s first innings total away from an otherwise poor score, Surrey would be in all heaps of trouble. As it is they are already staring down the barrel. None of the other batsmen were able to get any significant partnerships going, which rather puts that sizeable effort from Boje and Loye into context yesterday. Davies and Harinath opened, with the latter going for a duck, poor fellow, whilst Davies made 33 (which for him was an unusually small total). Only Davies will know if he minds opening in the championship as he does in the shorter game, where he is so effective – Jon Batty seemed to love opening - but it does on paper make sense until Brown is back from his injury problem.

RHB made 30; Afzaal sadly reverted back to his previous bad run of form and made only 12, although there was still a glimmer of hope whilst Ramps and Spriegel were together at the crease. Unfortunately Mr R went whilst looking set on 70, and Chris Schofield took his place at the crease but was sadly unable to replicate his heroics of the previous week, going for 29. Tom Jewell made his championship debut with the bat, but it turned out to be a baptism of fire as he scored 1 run before being given lbw. Andre Nel found himself coming to the crease in the last over of the day, and remains not out on 0 with Spriegel not out on 25.

You have to feel a bit sorry for Jewell, coming in when he did and then getting out with a few balls left. If he’d managed to survive he might well have dug in tomorrow, as he and Spriegel know each other very well and could possibly have made a good partnership. As it is the follow on looms large, and Surrey will be hoping to at least salvage their pride, even if a draw is almost as bad as a loss these days.

One nice, noteworthy occurrence was the first 5fer of Tim Linley’s first class career. Well played, the Viscount! At least something went Surrey’s way!

A note on the injury front: Mr Tremlett apparently has a slight shoulder niggle and is not surprisingly being looked after. I guess there’s no point in potentially making the problem any worse. Still no definite word on when Khan is coming to Surrey either: I’m beginning to wonder if the club is hexed. First we had the invisible bowler and now we have the invisible batsman! He’s not exactly a like for like replacement for Chawla but he could be a pretty decent signing for Surrey – if he ever gets here! I think we’ve been told somewhere in the next week, so fingers crossed.

This blog’s got a bit serious in the last few weeks with all the match reporting, and whilst I can do serious, years of taking the mickey out of myself to counteract sundry personal defects such as galloping agoraphobia tend to make me view most things with a comedic eye. I couldn’t help but wonder if the players actually like ice baths, or are they a necessary evil? Do they dread them the same way as the bleep tests? What would happen if ice baths were in fact installed as punishment chambers, where batsmen are sent if they don’t score runs?

To this end, looking at the amount of runs scored to number of innings, only Ramprakash, Davies and Harinath would really be able to avoid spending any significant time in there. The others would range from being very cold to having their assets well and truly frozen!

Here comes that music again...

Day Three, Surrey v Middlesex at the Oval


Actually, I’m saving the play-on-name stuff for the moment, as I don’t want to jinx ‘himself’ for tomorrow.

I’ve been in a bit of a quandary with this game. I find it so much easier to cheer on Surrey when the opposition is full of players I have no emotional attachment to, but Middlesex are stuffed with ex-Surrey players like Newman, Murtagh and Collins so it’s not as straightforward as I thought it might be. And then there’s Udal, who I rather like, and Finn who seems destined for great things at the top level in due course. So, when the likes of Newman get set for a big score against my team I really don’t know whether I’m supposed to applaud or secretly cross my fingers under the desk and hope that his bails are whipped off...

The splendiferous ninety one that he made was, for me, the best compromise in the circumstances. Bet the poor man was gutted to fall nine short of a ton! Strauss similarly accumulated a very frisky ninety two and then managed to get out to Dernbach (who replicated Udal's effort and picked up five wickets) when Middlesex would have hoped he’d go on.

In all other respects the Middlesex first innings sort of stumbled and stuttered along. Shah, Dexter, Simpson, Murtagh and Collins all went for single figure totals, and only Berg with his effort of 43 made a really useful contribution to the efforts of the two opening bats. Middlesex ended with 324 all out.

Possibly most people expected the follow on to be enforced. I didn’t, mostly because I was on the bus home from work at the time and remained in total ignorance as to the situation. I do however recall thinking that the bus would get home quicker if it ran over a few of the slow moving pedestrians at Frederick Street corner. The upshot is that RHB opted to bat again, which I am personally delighted at because Rampants and Surrey fans alike now get a second chance to watch the great man bat once more in a quest to help Surrey to that elusive first win of the season. The win is a possibility now, although it would take another Middlesex collapse to do it. Newman and Strauss - and one or two others – are really going to have to dig in deep because Surrey definitely go into tomorrow with their chins held higher. I personally think the draw is still the most likely.

Harinath played another blinding innings second time round. He was eventually out for 63, but I think the commentary had it right, in that batting with a senior player such as Ramps will just bring the best out of him. A real shame that he couldn’t quite kick on to what would have been a well deserved century. Evans, alas, only made seven this time although there isn’t any doubt that he is a talented player. Mr Ramprakash achieved an excellent 86 not out and (she said trying to type and touch wood – or desk vinyl in this case) looks set for a possible second century in this game. It’s well deserved if it happens, although I should think that going for the win will be first on his and everyone else in the team’s mind.

So, bat for an hour tomorrow and see how the ground lies? What kind of total would RHB look for? What would Middlesex fancy chasing and what would make them bat for the draw? I still haven’t recovered from the finish of last year’s humdinger of a derby at the Oval! People were being bowled and run out all over the place!

At the moment the Surrey boys are looking mighty hungry for this first win. A total will be set, the bait laid, and then it will be up to them to reel in their prey. Whatever happens, I hope the Middlesex squad have their earplugs in because that Jaws theme is getting ominously louder and louder at the moment...

Kash’in In

Day one Surrey v Middlesex at the Oval

Oh, you’ve got to allow me that title. I’ve been waiting since April to use it!

I do love Surrey v Middlesex games. I love them because, whilst I feel no animosity towards Middlesex at all, I just love a good old-fashioned Derby. A set-to, a ding-dong, a barney...call it what you will, only more civilised. And with balls. There’s something special about these Middlesex v Surrey games, and I have spent the last three or so years trying to work out what it is.

Is it the atmosphere of those two monumental bastions, the Oval and Lords? Is it the centuries of history, built up layer upon layer, year upon year? Is it the romance of a contest between two once mighty teams struggling to recapture their best?

Well, actually no it isn’t. The answer is far simpler. It’s because usually Ramps tends to give his former club a real doing over!

It has to be said that the exceptional Mr R hasn’t quite found his dancing feet early this season, for many reasons, although there have been a couple of fairly effortless performances amidst a series of, shall we say, bijou scores, but you always feel with Ramps that a shed load of runs are usually lurking round the corner. And lo and behold, the Middlesex posse moseyed into Kennington and worked their usual magic. Fingers crossed this will kick-start his season and propel him towards a nice purple patch of form. At the close of play, he sits 125 not out after a hard fought century from 261 balls.

Having momentarily dispensed with the waving of flags and hanging of Rampant bunting (or in Jean’s case pushing pineapples and shaking trees), now is possibly a time to reflect on the game overall. Harinath and Evans, subjected to some pretty decent bowling (you see, I’m quite unbiased when I put my mind to it!) began to tick slowly along, although you felt Evans was just getting into his stride when he was bowled by former Surrey player Murtagh. In came former Middlesex player Ramprakash, who played very watchfully throughout the first session, whilst former Surrey players Scot ‘Pandora’ Newman and Pedro ‘Mr Whippy’ Collins looked on, probably knowing only too well that Ramps likes scoring hundreds against the St John’s Wood contingent.

In the meantime Udal, not formerly of Surrey, managed to remove young Harinath for 39. It turned out to be a rather productive day for Udal, if an unintentionally dramatic one, as it appears that the poor fellow managed to half-concuss himself trying to dive for a ball. Fingers crossed he’s okay: I may want Surrey to thrash Middlesex but I don’t want the opposition maimed in the process. In the absence of Steven Davies, away on England Lions duty, captain RHB came in at four, scoring rapidly just as the Surrey effort looked to be crawling almost to a stop, and smacked a relatively quick fire 55 from 60 balls, exactly what the innings needed. However, Udal struck again, bringing in Afzaal.

Now, the Rampants love Afzaal. We may have mentioned this earlier in the blog. And he got a nice little partnership going with his buddy Ramps at the crease, sticking with him all the way as Mr R stuttered through the extremely nervous nineties towards a century that he must have wanted very much indeed. Middlesex were doing their darndest to restrict Surrey by making sure that singles were hard to come by, hoping to induce the fault. And after that landmark was reached – the 110th first class century of his career and 5th against Middlesex – Afzaal and Ramps began to play some lovely shots and relax. Unfortunately for Afzaal he relaxed too much and was dismissed by Udal with the very last ball of the day.

We still love Usman, though. Even if the initial thought of the O’Rampant contingent was “Afzaal, you PLANK!”

Honours pretty much even at close of play then. Surrey end the day with MR Ramprakash not out, and with the new batsman yet to face a ball. If Middlesex get Ramps quickly tomorrow they will be feeling it is very much their game to lose, but if they can’t...well, let’s just say Gus Fraser must be sick of the sight of Ramps. It occurred to me to wonder what Ramps averages against Middlesex at the moment (it must surely be over 100), and a witty reply from friend-of-the-Rampants Harold informed me that the qualitative answer was, "He averages full throttle".

So, another century to be added to the wall of the hundred hundreds bar. The Surrey fans will be delighted that the great man saw fit to once more take his ire out on his former club. I imagine that the sane majority of Middlesex supporters will shrug their shoulders and think “oh well, here we go again,” and marvel at a skilled and naturally gifted batsman going about his work.

To the tiny minority of rather angry people out there who seem to have a little bit of trouble letting the past go, I suggest a lie-down in a dark room and some essential oils might help a little...

Blessed are the Meak-er...

Short Match Report Day Two – Surrey v Gloucestershire at the Oval

Something odd is happening at the Oval. Yesterday I said "It looks like a typical batting track", but wickets have clattered all day: unfortunately from a Surrey point of view all their wickets have clattered, and for not very much. Stumps have gone flying, fingers have gone up...it’s been an unusual type of match, this. The Oval isn’t always known as a results sort of a pitch, by and large, but that’s what we are almost certainly looking at. So, the question is: has a result wicket been prepared or is the ball just seaming about a bit more than expected?

Mr Watchtower Tremlett, who stands as high as the Statue of Liberty, didn't survive the first over this morning and the Surrey innings sort of phutted out after that. Ramps scored 12, RHB went for another quacker, and every single dismissal barring one solitary run-out saw the batsman bowled. All for the princely sum of 178.

But...

Just when you’d usually find yourself morphing into Victor Meldrew and yelling incoherently at the BBC scores page, something happened in the Gloucestershire second innings: more wickets tumbled at speed. At the close of play, Gloucestershire were 139-7, with Meaker bowling perhaps the greatest spell of his first class career, taking four wickets.

The rapid progression of the game should bring both comfort and worry to the home side. If the wickets fall quickly (and hopefully minus another stick-tight partnership from the Gloucestershire tail) then all the better for Surrey. But the fact that all three innings thus far have shown how difficult it is to bat – something I never thought I would say – must have alarm bells ringing. It’s not impossible with a whole two days left to plug away and chase down the target as long as it’s not a total monster, but keeping the wickets intact is going to be the major obstacle here.

I will maintain my insanely optimistic view that it can be done until proven otherwise. I ended volunteering to hug the Surrey team after their great effort on day one. The offer’s still on the table, boys, if you manage the win!

Oh, and it appears that the Oval fox has taken a liking to young Harinath, now known as 'the Fox-Whisperer'. If only Surrey had leant him to Sussex for a small fee...he could have done a Pied Piper and charmed Mr Reynard away!

Tremlett: the 'Night Watchtower'

A very brief match report: Day One at the Oval, Surrey v Gloucestershire

Well, not only did the man everyone's been talking about get a game but, at the risk of tempting fate, Chris Tremlett didn’t break in two either! Four wickets for Surrey on day one from the man who makes Andre Nel look like Ronnie Corbett! I hope he doesn’t try to hug Ramps though. As one of my fellow Rampants said, “man smothered to death by belly button” doesn’t make for attractive headlines...

Tremlett’s magnificent start for Surrey probably stole the headlines for what turned out to be a pretty decent performance by the entire team. Gloucestershire were very quickly caught on the hop, losing early wickets, a fact made known to me at work via our Rampant relay station (well, okay. It was Liz at the Oval armed with her mobile). Even although I was happy to see the wickets tumbling I had mixed feelings on learning that Jon Batty had gone early. There’s no doubt that Chris Adams has picked a magnificent player in Steven Davies, but the Hedgepig was a favourite amongst the Rampants and we all want him to do well for his new club.

It looks like a typical batting track at the Oval, which is why the bowling – underpinned by Tremlett – looked so good today. Gloucestershire haven’t really fired in their games so far this year although they are a win to the good, but in the end the last batting partnership refused to budge and remained, as Blackadder himself might have put it, “stickier than two really sticky things on a stick”. But for this last limpet-like effort Surrey might have bowled them out for under 200...

Towards the end of the day Surrey had lost Gareth Batty and at close they posted 56-1, which is a nice little return with one eye on the Gloucestershire total. Man of the moment Tremlett came in as night watchman or, given his size, night watchtower . I have to agree with a point made on the commentary: it’s amusing to see the batsmen proper mother-henning the NW when it’s supposed to be the other way around. Harinath blithely just got on with getting himself on strike as much as possible, maybe with a view to preserving Tremlett’s back!

I’ve lost count of the number of times that a NW has been sent in to keep Ramps company, and he’s just ignored him and played his own game! I’m beginning to wonder if real batsmen think 'night watchman' is a dirty word...