Anyhow, I’m so behind now it’s unbelievable! That’s what a holiday in London will do for you.
In the last few weeks we have been knocked out the T20s (the phrase see ‘last post’ has a peculiarly apt double meaning), won a nail-biter in the county championship against Kent, and been roundly thrashed by Middlesex (again). I don’t like the fact we were thumped by the old enemy, although at least a mighty knock by de Bruyn and Maynard, surely the most shrewd acquisitions for Surrey in many a year, at least put us back in the contest, if briefly. Whilst not the flat out demolition by our North London rivals that we suffered at the Oval earlier this year, it must have jolly well stung like a bad case of piles!
Middlesex and haemorrhoids: there’s a combination. But, for the moment, back a few weeks to slightly happier times and the victory over Kent.
A quick recap then of the game.
Surrey won the toss, batted first, and made 387. Yet again de Bruyn showed his brilliance with a peerless 179.
Jason Roy had gone for 4 before we got in to the Oval...in fact we heard Ramps’ name being announced over the speakers just as we were heading towards our customary place in the Wedlake Bell family enclosure! Ramps went for 12, although I can’t say he looked in bad nick. Far from it, in fact: I was rather surprised when he did go because there were some beautiful shots in his rather brief stay. He provided Kent’s Balcombe with his first wicket for Kent: I suppose it’s a good one to get!
Still, the Rampants were royally entertained, especially Liz who is Gareth Batty’s biggest fan (her man scored an important late innings 65). RHB managed 34, but the others didn’t quite do so well with Davies making 17 and Maynard 19. The other scores were even less substantial, which just goes to show how important de Bruyn’s contribution was in the context of the game.
The Surrey bowling was very impressive, with Kent out for 250. Blake impressed with 95 and would surely have gone on to inflict more damage on Surrey but for being run out by Jason Roy, and together with Jones had formed a partnership more irritating than sand down the crack of a bikini-clad bottom! Meaker and Linley shared top honours with three wickets apiece, with Batty taking two and Tremlett one. However, my favourite player for Kent was undoubtedly Riaz. Something about the Oval wicket must have had him channelling Usman Afzaal, for on several occasions he felt the need to express his inner aeroplane when running in to bowl! It didn’t do him any good when it was his turn to bat, however, as he was caught for 4 by Ramps.
Serves him right for trying to use Mr R as a runway during the Surrey first innings.
Things got a bit dodgy for Surrey when they were all out for 184 in their second innings. Every time the clouds came out a wicket seemed to fall, in what seemed a very confused batting effort. Ramps tried to bed in with his customary grit but still managed only 20 (Annabel and I had actually left before this). Balcombe was again brilliant, taking five Surrey wickets, although it was Joe Denly who took the wicket of top scoring Davies for 39. Whilst the second innings hadn’t gone swimmingly for Surrey, it did go swimmingly for me as well, as I’d had a few bottles of wine from the bar, but that’s another story!
In reply Kent’s revival was very much down to their colossus Rob Key. Picture, if you will, a scene on day four where Rob Key dons the role of Gandalf to the younger members of his team. No, I don’t mean he sported a long beard and a pointy hat. Nor am I suggesting the Kent line-up is full of tiny Hobbity people. I know Kent is supposed to be the ‘garden of England’ but there was nothing about Middle Earth as far as I’m aware. What I’m referring to is Rob Key’s mighty “thou shalt not pass” moment. Give a man like Key a stage to perform on and boy, does he go for it!
The team kept chip-chip-chipping away at Kent. Great news for me as I got lots of good photos! I’m going to sound patronising for a moment, so forgive me, because ‘little’ Ansari makes me want to affix ‘bless him’ to his name due to his youth, and there he was in his first championship game looking all shiny and new, as if he’d come straight from primary school with his little rucksack and PE kit! Okay, slight exaggeration for dramatic purposes. But hang in there, because I’m trying to set the scene for later on...
Now, Gandalf...sorry, Key was still holding up his end for Kent. Sorry if that’s a bit rude-sounding, but there you have it. Batsmen came and went with frightening regularity around him, but you always felt that whilst he was still there Kent could possibly sneak it. And as day four beckoned (Annabel and I had decided not to go to the Oval given that it could be a short stay whatever the result) there remained a paltry number of wickets for Surrey to claim and an equally small number of runs for Kent to chase. It was very much game on!
So, there we were on day four, in a branch of ‘Next’ on a well known street in London. Annabel was trying on tops in her cubical, whilst I was womanfully struggling into a tunic-dress and attempting to listen to the remainder of the game on my smart phone. Not an easy thing to do, as it transpires, as you keep getting the ear phones all tangled up in your bra. Ten out of ten for contortionism, however! It’s okay when you’re trying on one item but when you’ve got six to clamber in and out of...well, I had to take the earphones out.
And that was when Ansari – bless him – struck!
It had all looked as if Kent were going to flop over the finishing line with Key eating up the runs like they were Scotch pies, and then Ansari stepped up and bowled him! Hats off to Key and his magnificent 162. He and de Bruyn had shown between them exactly how experience counts in moments of crisis. Key had played a titanic innings, but alas like the good ship he foundered right when it mattered. I managed to locate Annabel as she headed off to pay for her clothes and I was standing at the very opposite end of the queue when Shaw was caught by Roy without scoring. I have to say I think the man who was serving behind the till must have thought me quite mad by frantic gesticulating and air punching. He wouldn’t be the first to think it!
And so ended a marvellously entertaining game to watch and a fabulous victory for Surrey! They came away with the win, the points and I came away with a dress which I shall always think of as my ‘Surrey dress of certain victory’.
Only problem is I shall have to wear it all the time now.
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