Strictly: Week Seven

The competition’s beginning to hot up, so to speak. That is to say that we’re passed the halfway point and everyone’s trying to do all they can to not only stay in the contest but to assert their credentials as legitimate victors. Some are doing this more successfully than others, it has to be said, but there’s been a definite shift up through the gears of late by those not instantly considered to be in the top tier.

Pamela and James were up first this week. I’m not sure how these things are drawn but it seems to me that Pam has gone first twice and been near the start on a few occasions now. Even although Kara danced first last week and stayed up the top of the leader board I doubt anyone would argue the fact it’s a clear disadvantage to be the first one to dance. Especially when you take Craig’s way of scoring in to consideration. Not one who’s afraid to use every paddle at his disposal if he feels it’s merited, Craig will base his scores in terms of what has gone before as well as what he’s just seen on the dance floor. The others leave themselves little room to manoeuvre by waving 9s around because 10 is the only way to go up, which leads to the extremely silly amount of 10s we’ve seen in recent years...

I think an 8 was fair for Pamela’s routine, especially in hindsight. At the time I could probably see one or two people thinking it was a 7, but it was worth more than that, and until they bring out a 7.5, what can you do? It was a clever routine from James (who I personally thought looked rather hot in his pinstripe suit and hat), albeit with the usual degree of faffing about at the start – although good in the context of the story I suppose. Pamela always finishes her arm lines beautifully but somehow, although it seemed joyous and happy, there wasn’t a lot of...sassiness to it. And if any word describes the cha cha cha then it’s ‘sass’. That’s why I loved Louisa Lytton’s cha cha cha in series 4, probably more than Alesha’s. I know the latter is considered one of the ‘iconic’ dances of Strictly but her bent legs in the Latin always remind me of a chicken wishbone. How was she allowed to get away with it???

Sometimes Pam’s balance doesn’t seem as good as the others. It sort of makes her a little more wobbly and uncertain. I think this is one area she needs to work at, because whilst she hasn’t slid down the pack and is as good as ever, she hasn’t progressed recently in the way that some of the others have.

Michelle and Brendan were up next with their Paso Doble. I loved Michelle’s dress and I thought that even although not a traditional shade associated with the dance it certainly added a lot of impact and drama, in the same way Natasha’s white Paso dress did way back in the mists of time. And certainly it seemed to empower Michelle at the start, who came out with so much attack that I thought she was about to perform the Hakka! But all too soon it skittered and slithered into a sort of blamangey nothingness; a weak and watery Paso. So weak in fact that if, on tonight’s performances, Scott was the cat that got the cream then Michelle was a little carton of UHT in comparison. It was a pity given the promise of the first 20 seconds, but Michelle looked increasingly out of her depth as it went on. The end, when it came, was a bit of a relief to all (especially Michelle by the look of it). Nothing was wrong with Brendan’s routine, however and it was just a shame that Michelle didn’t have the physical presence required to do it justice. Being almost devoid of muscle must make it very difficult for her to put the required ‘oomph’ in to a dance that is composed entirely of aggression. After this performance I had Michelle down as favourite to go.

The last word must fall to my friend Maria, who believed that Michelle and Brendan had “Started off firm then wilted into softness. Bit like an erection.” It’s perhaps not the imagery that Brendan had intended to conjure with his Paso, but you can’t deny that it’s appropriate!

Patsy’s one of those individuals who has upped their game in the last few weeks, but even although the nation likes an underdog I still don’t feel she’s quite consistent enough to be considered a real threat to the likes of Kara and Scott. The improvement in her can certainly be seen and I think what is most readily apparent is that she is becoming much more assertive. After the first disastrous week she learned to let the actress out the bag and now, slowly, she’s beginning to pick up the technical side. But it’s not a natural thing, like it is to Kara. I think people appreciate the hard work she’s putting in but ultimately unless Patsy puts in a ‘mega-wow’ dance in the next few weeks I can’t see her making the last three.

This week I personally, even as someone who likes affable Patsy, thought she was over-scored. Not horribly so, but definitely some of the judges had been sucking blue smarties again because their good mood translated into some rather inflated scores. I know it’s all down to artistic interpretation but I really don’t like Viennese Waltzes that spend at least a third of the dance out of hold. Some may interpret this as an attempt to create a memorable image or do something different with what can sometimes be a potentially dull dance. Me, I call it cheating! Get in hold, woman! Spinning around for a full 90 seconds is what sorts the men and woman from the children!

Credit where it’s due, however. Like Pamela, Patsy finishes her arm lines beautifully. If she can work on her posture she may well become a much better ballroom performer than she is at Latin. The pale pink dress really suited her, too. Sometimes the dance was a bit hoppy and skippy but this was by far and away her best dance of the series.

Someone else who arguably put in their best performance was Gavin Henson; a man previously considered so static that even lichen refused to grow on him. This week however, comatose Gavin, whose facial expressions have previously resembled Alice in Wonderland’s dormouse awakening from his teapot related slumbers, finally managed to produce some energy and personality care of his quickstep! Hold back on the ‘Halleluiah Chorus’, however, as I am now going to get picky – and not directly with Gavin this time. Because I’m sorry, even if this could be considered the biggest breakthrough since the Channel tunnel wall was finally breached, this was nowhere near as good as the judges seemed to think! Sure, it had some memorable choreography (I’m ignoring the vote-winning assault on Bruno by Gavin’s puckered lips) and there was a lot to like about it, but there was a heck of a lot wrong with it, too!

It was scruffy in places, there were timing issues in places, there looked like a mini-mix up with the kicks in places. It was acted well, for sure, and was definitely Gavin’s best stab at getting into a role, but the scores he got...9s?!? Are you kidding me?!? I didn’t even think it was as good as Pamela’s and that only deserved an 8 at best! I can only assume some of the judges are trying to reward the meteoric turn-around in Gavin compared to what he was like a few weeks back, but if this is the case then that isn’t fair. You don’t give a two year old child the key to the house for learning how to use the potty!

Can you tell I’m still a bit miffed? Absolutely, hideously over-marked with 33 points.

Well, what can you say about Anne Widdecombe that hasn’t already been said? I thought this week may be difficult for her to be honest, as she seemed to be struggling (more than usual if this is at all possible) in her training videos. And the Foxtrot is notoriously tricky. Firstly, it’s really technical, and second it’s as boring as hell if not done by someone who’s performed it for years. Fortunately, Ann has the Foxtrot maestro Anton as a partner, who dutifully steered her around the floor with the consummate skill with which Bernie Clifton operates Oswald the Ostrich. Anne this week did attempt some basic steps, which is always good if you are genuinely interested in the dance aspect of the show, but I feared that the casual viewers who just tune in to see a potential car-wreck of a routine would have been bored.

Still, I think Anne would have been quietly satisfied with her 20 out of 40. The pink, hairy jacket that covered her shoulders worked well to cover the worst of her posture problems, even although you knew they were still there...a bit like covering a yeti in a giant tea cosy. The threat of the samba (you may need the brain bleach next week) will probably be enough to get her through again. Whereupon she will probably be wearing Oswald the Ostrich’s tail feathers on her derriere...

Hide. Run and hide now. You have been warned.

Kara and Artem produced a spellbinding Argentine Tango, it has to be said. She was very assured, the sharpness of the leg movements was incredible, and she really looked the part. It was an extremely exciting routine to watch. The only things that I wasn’t quite so keen on were that at times Kara seemed to take the lead. Rather than being solicited by a hot, smelly gaucho I felt Kara appeared to be the one touting for business! I always like the ‘you’re dancing with me/not interested/I’ve got lots of cash/yeah, okay then’ aspect of the dance. Kara seemed to have a lot of ‘come and get me, boys’ vibes going on...there wasn’t the dangerous atmosphere that I have come to associate with the AT. But it’s a minor quibble when all’s said and done. Whether it was technically as good as Rachel and Vincent’s, or as atmospheric as Mark and Karen’s, is open for debate but it’s the most I’ve enjoyed an AT since that fantastic night back in December 2006.

It takes a lot to make Felicity look stiff and elderly, but somehow that’s how she appeared in the Salsa. Her flexibility has always been her chief weapon but tonight, alas, she managed to look extremely bemused all the way through. It was to her credit that she kept going, especially during the very complicated armography sections that Vincent had incorporated into the routine. Some might criticise him and say he made it too complex, but I can understand why he did. With everyone else putting pedal to the metal to keep in the contest, safety first is not a winning attitude at this stage. Also, it shows a degree of trust in Felicity’s abilities to perform the dance (even if ultimately she wasn’t able to pull it off on the night).

It was scrappy and ragged round the edges, and it was probably along with Michelle’s Paso the most uncomfortable performance to watch. I can understand why the costumers didn’t want to put her in something too sexy but at the same time I think the covered-up look really did her no favours at all. These little things all added together to make a rather unholy mess, in particular the arm movements where it looked as if Mr Tickle had got himself tied up with Little Miss Somersault...

Hell’s donkeys...another rumba! This time it’s poor Matt Baker that has to suffer the indignation of knowing a significant section of the British population are watching him trying to act out a bizarre mating ritual told through the medium of dance. And all of this whilst wearing a dark satin shirt! Not a good look, to be honest.

At the time of watching this and jotting down some observations I think I may have been a tad harsh on Matt, but I do think (yet again) that the judges rated this far too highly. Certainly it was light years better than Scott’s attempt last week but it’s a dance that usually shows up the vast difference between a male pro and a celeb in a slashed-to-the-navel top, looking for all the world as if he wants the ground to open up and swallow him. Only Colin Jackson has performed a standout rumba amongst the men, although Matt Di Angelo had a more than decent stab at it.

I thought Mr Baker’s attempt started off strangely camp and then rapidly headed the other direction, with some of the expressions pulled alarmingly looking like some crazed stalker loose in Aliona’s apartment. And that just left me feeling plain uncomfortable. For this reason I think I was unable to give a proper assessment of the dance itself, although it appeared technically sound (with the exception of the spatula-like hands). It seemed a trifle overworked, as Len and Craig both pointed out, but at this point I wanted to hide behind a cushion in case Matt broke into a ‘here’ssssssssssssssss Johnny!’ moment. I was greatly creeped-out!

Last week the best was first; this week they saved the best to last, as the song goes. I’m not sure if it was worth the swathe of 10s or not, but I guess it was equal to Kara’s Argentine Tango, and I think probably a smidge better, so I suppose in the context of the show it was deserving the high scores. Not in the same league as Jill’s jive, but up there with Louisa Lytton’s as joint second best. The performance was great from Scotttttttttttttt and Natalie, and I didn’t even mind the gimmicky cardboard door this time as it played a pivotal part of the performance (and they didn’t over-use it). Great kicks and flicks, with energy that was maintained all the way through the routine. I’m starting to warm to Natalie this year as it’s clear she knows what makes Scott tick. Considering the disaster of last week, this week could have been very difficult for the pair of them but they seem to have dusted themselves down and got on with it.

The groups are starting to form now. There’s Scott, Kara and Matt almost on a level. There’s Pamela just a smidge behind. There’s Patsy and Gavin pretty much jostling for position behind the leaders, and Michelle and Felicity struggling to keep up.







And then there’s Anne.